u/No_Victory_3773

It's like you have to perform like a clown just to be considered for a part in some shitty play.

I just feel like an absolute clown whenever I text a woman I'm interested in. I feel like they're going to pick apart and judge every word I say. I'm afraid they're going to show their friends my texts and laugh at everything I said. And I know it's not all in my head because I've heard stories of this exact thing happening to many guys.

The difficult thing is that I feel like I have to act like a bit of a clown to keep them interested, because if I'm not entertaining, there's 10 other guys waiting in the queue.

I feel like men really have nothing left to offer today and it makes trying to date nearly impossible for us.

The average women can hop on Hinge and have 100 likes within 10 minutes. So as a man, it's like our interest means nothing. Women are more educated on average and have vastly better social lives.

So what do men specifically have left to offer? It's like if you're an average guy, you're just sort of 'there' and you can be easily replaced. It just feels like unless you're a 6ft+ millionaire, you have ZERO value as a man.

It's so hard for me to relax even when I have nothing left to do for the day and I'm all caught up on my homework. I end up staying up later than I have to and then I'm tired the next day and then I'm barely absorbing what I'm reading. please help me.

It's the phones. We have access to way too many people now. Everyone thinks they can do better, so instead of trying to work through a small issue with someone we could have otherwise had a great relationship with, we would rather just ghost, reject, or swipe left and it's on to the next person. We don't value each other anymore because there's always someone else next in line. We don't have the patience for each other anymore. We were never meant to have access to so many people at once and it's exposed the worst sides of BOTH genders. Basically we've opened Pandora's box and there's no closing it.

I never want to go to sleep and once I wake up I don't want to go back to sleep. Why is that

I feel like I'm going to get downvoted to hell because I'm a man so people will automatically assume I'm the problem but I don't know who else to ask. I really wish I could show you guys my profile and my messages without doxxing myself. I swear to god I'm doing nothing wrong.

I never text anything sexual, I never ask them out until at least 3 days of chatting. But sometimes women unmatch when I ask the most innocous questions like 'did you move here for work or school?', you know, ice-breaker shit that isn't in their bios. Do they unmatch because it's a boring question?

And sometimes they unmatch BEFORE I even send the first message. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong in that case.

I really try to be respectful and find a balance between flirting and gentleness, but I maybe get ONE girl out of 100 matches where it actually goes somewhere. Is it just because of the sheer number of options that women have?

Waymos will take over...

Past a certain age, people really just are who they are. It gets to a point where you meet enough people that you can start putting them into boxes. You can just predict how they'll respond and react to certain things, what choices they'll make.

We all think we're special but we're really all just slaves to our own hardwiring. It's kind of sad when you think about it.

26M. My mental's in the toilet atm. I feel invisible. Most of my 'friends' don't give a shit about me. No women are checking for me. I barely get matches on Hinge and have never been in a long-term relationship. Meanwhile the people I went to high school with are getting married.

I'm constantly sleep-deprived and anxious because of law school and just the overall state of the world. I'm worried and stressed about what the job market will be like when I graduate. What if I'm doing all this work just for my job to get replaced by AI?

I have hobbies and passions. I'm in shape and go to the gym regularly. But I feel so broken and rejected on the inside. Whenever I try to make new friends it just fizzles out. It's like people my age already have their groups and don't have room for anyone else.

I tried therapy for two years but ultimately it didn't fix my issue. How does one move forward in my case?

I get it, zero matches makes you desperate as hell. It's no secret that most guys are practically INVISIBLE on dating apps. We're lucky to get one match a week. So we become desperate and put up with the absolute humilation ritual of trying to talk to women that give us one-word replies, don't ask questions back, or simply don't respond.

We act overly eager, or super nervous, or robotic, whether through text or on a first date, because we're thinking that if we screw up, it's going to be another 6 months of complete silence before we get another shot.

Not sure what the solution is because dating apps are simply supply and demand, but I know it isn't healthy to think this way. So as men, we have to check ourselves.

People who I thought were my friends btw, who I thought understood me. But it turns out they don't give a SHIT about me.

I refuse to stay friends with people who don't fucking reply when I text them, who never reach out first, who don't say bye to me at parties, and fucking forget my name because I'm not some loud, obnxious, social butterfly.

I'm not some fucking NPC side character that you can just forget about. I'M DONE WITH THESE FUCKERS.

All this toxic positivity BS is just that, BS.

People become confident because of positive reinforcement. They win, so they become confident.

People become unconfident because they LOSE at everything. They lose, so they're not confident.

You can't be constantly losing at everything you try and expect to be confident, it doesn't work like that. At a certain point, the rejection breaks you, and it keeps breaking you until it's impossible to put the pieces back together.

It just seems like every woman I know always has something going on whether it's with friends or a partner. Meanwhile, most of the men I know keep to themselves or do the same things every weekend.

Ultimately, women just seem to have so many more connections. They travel more, hang out with each other more, and generally just seem happier about life. I'm jealous as hell.

It's harder for us to make friends AND it's harder for us to date.

If you try to make friends with women as a man, she assumes you might interested, so she keeps you at an arm's length.

And trying to make friends with dudes is fruitless because guys ultimately don't give a shit about each other's feelings.

How much rejection can you take before you start to doubt yourself, whether it's or ability to get a job, a partner, or whatever you're looking for?

I LOVE being petty. I can't get enough of it. Any time someone ghosts me, or ignores me, or disrespects me in anyway, it just makes me want to work that much harder, become ultra successful, and prove what a fucking idiot they were.

I know a lot of you will say it's immature and I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I can't help it. It just seems like people generally don't give a shit about you unless you're useful to you in some way. But once you become successful THEN they start reaching out. Well I'm going to remember every single person who treated me like DIRT one the bottom of their shoe when I become ultra successful.

Sure. Ok. Where is the line though? After you talk for two weeks? A month? A year? Where is the line exactly?

It just seems like poeple use this an excuse to ghost and not care about how the other person feels at all.

We ghost and get ghosted in an endless circle. Who's really happy at the end of the day? No wonder it seems like people generally don't give a shit about each other these days.. I fucking hate it here.

Look at my recent posts and judge for yourself. Maybe I'm immature. Maybe not. I don't give a fuck. If being 'immature' means I'm not allowed to feel shit when things don't go my way, like I'm supposed to move on instantly and not feel a damn thing, and I'm always supposed to be the bigger person in every situation, let me be immature. I hate like 95% of people anyway. I really only neeed my immediate family, a few close friends, and a partner to be happy.