It's harder to tell in this picture, but I was 20 weeks pregnant. I was really happy with how we all looked together! I felt like my dress was totally appropriate with all the other family of the couple and tied in the colors that my husband and daughter wore, without trying too hard. The bride picked the white flower girl dress for the record.
23 weeks, diagnosed at 11 weeks. My fasting has been in the high 80s/low 90s for the past month. Protein shake hasn't made a difference.
I've had a 97 the past 3 mornings and I'm really worried I'm going to need insulin. Here's the thing, we're in the middle of a heat wave and our AC is not pulling its weight, so the past 2 nights have been unbearable. I woke up at 2am this morning because I was so hot. I was curious so I tested my glucose. It was 95. I took a cool shower and it was 92. This morning at 5:30 it was 97 again.
My 1 hours have been perfect. Most below 120. So I'm just not sure if this is just my body responding to my placenta or if its more because of the heat and poor sleep. I'm doing my best to stay hydrated. I would be surprised if my glucose was spiking past 105 at night, given the middle of the night 95, but I guess it's possible.
I've also been stressed lately between trying (and failing) at potty trianing my toddler and grief about my grandmother, who is in the process of dying. I think I'm trying to find reasons why this might be temporary. If anyone has any fasting tips beyond a protein snack (which doesn't seem to have an impact for me) that would be great. We did get a new AC so hopefully tonight will be more comfortable.
For context I'm due in October with baby #2. My first will be almost 3. I have a very large extended family. Between children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, by the the end of the year, my maternal grandmother will be responsible for the birth of 48 people. 3 of us are due in October.
My grandmother has cancer and we aren't sure how much longer she has. Could be 3 months, could be 6, could be longer.... but there is a chance that it happens after the baby is born. There is a pretty significant chunk of my family that is anti-vax and they’ll all be at the funeral. My first born will be 3, so I’m less worried about her because she’s had many of her vaccines already, but obviously if the baby is born, she won't be yet. And now I’m faced with the worry that maybe I won't feel safe going to my grandmother's funeral. I know maybe it doesn't make sense to worry now, and also its unlikely that there will be some sort of measles outbreak in that area but I just don’t feel like I can take that risk. Mostly just venting. Not trying to start a vaccine debate, but if it isn't obvious, I'm very pro-vaccination. I live in a very progressive area so I can generally feel confident that most people are following the vaccine schedule, so I have no idea how to navigate being around people who I know don't.
It’s all just so sad and torn. I'm gonna try to get up to visit her a few times this summer (assuming she lasts that long) but its 2 and a half hours away, and a 5 hour round trip is a lot to do with a toddler in a day.
Edit to add: Thank you everyone. My mind was basically made up from the start, but this is very validating. My family can be really nonchalant about these things and really make me feel like I'm being dramatic. A person passing at 88 is very sad, but a baby passing from an avoidable illness is tragic.
If I'm having whole wheat pasta or brown rice, I'm adding full fat Greek Yogurt into the sauce.
Pesto sauce is now tangy, creamy pesto (I just add yogurt)
Pollo asado includes brown rice smothered in a "crema" with Greek yogurt, lime juice, salt and pepper.
Trader Joes frozen tikka masala with rice? Add yogurt and now its an extra creamy sauce.
Is it authentic? No. Does it taste like the best sauce I've ever had? Also no. Is it potentially offensive to the people of Italy, Mexico and India? Maybe. I'm sorry.
But it adds enough fat and protein to flatten the curve a bit and keep me in range so I can actually enjoy my carbs and I didn't have to use much brain power to do it.
TL;DR: We spent BILs entire wedding weekend managing our very excited toddler flower girl mostly on our own while the rest of DH's family stood back, judged, suggested we should have arranged more childcare, and barely interacted with her. Then MIL complained afterward that she and LO don't have a relationship because "LO doesn't know me and I don't know her," despite making almost no effort to connect with her all weekend.
​
This is partly about MIL and partly about general in-law dynamics, with the backdrop being that we're already fairly low contact due to a toxic history.
​
A few weeks ago, our 2.5-year-old was the flower girl in my BIL's wedding. She's energetic, sweet, and genuinely a good kid. She isn't a brat, but she is a toddler, so she's appropriately a lot sometimes.
​
Right off the bat, we missed the bus to the rehearsal dinner because of a miscommunication between BIL and DH (shocker). We got there literally five minutes after everyone else, and BIL was annoyed.
​
Then came the rehearsal. LO needed to be there because she had to practice walking down the aisle. For some reason, they didn't practice that until the very end, even though it happens first.
​
By that point, she was completely wound up. She was in a new place, wearing a fancy dress after an hour-long car ride, and everyone was talking about her important flower girl job. She was running around the church like a maniac. Not being naughty, just being a very excited toddler.
​
I was trying to keep her occupied, but DH was the best man and actually had stuff to do, so it was just me, 20 weeks pregnant, chasing a toddler around a church while BIL kept looking at us like, "Why is she acting like that?"
​
Then MIL asked, "Can't you control her?"
​
These people know absolutely nothing about children, but they're the kind of people who think they know everything.
​
Eventually, I took LO outside to the tiny patch of grass by the parking lot. I had brought toys, but she didn't care about them because she just wanted to run.
​
MIL never once offered to help. Not even to entertain her for five minutes while I sat down. At one point, MIL mentioned that the bride's brother had his MIL come help with the kids. The situations weren't even comparable, though. They had a newborn staying home and older kids who didn't need much support during the actual events.
​
Then came the rehearsal dinner.
​
LO was still hyper, so DH and I spent most of the evening taking turns walking her around and making sure she didn't break anything or bother anyone. Meanwhile, most of the family barely interacted with her.
​
I don't expect anyone to watch my child. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm used to family acting like family at a family event where a child is expected to be. The one exception was DH's aunt, who played with LO for about 20 minutes. It was honestly amazing. She was the only person who offered even a tiny bit of help.
​
DH's cousin suggested we could have gotten a sitter to take LO home. But LO was expected to be at the rehearsal dinner, and we couldn't exactly bring a sitter along to the restaurant. Asking my parents to drive over an hour and be on standby for a two-day event also felt like a huge ask.
​
What we actually needed wasn't childcare afterward. We needed a little support during the events.
​
The next morning, I considered having my parents come help while we got ready, but honestly there wasn't much they could have done. It probably would have been more work coordinating extra people. We got ourselves ready, got LO ready, and made it to photos.
​
I did LO's hair myself. It looked cute. She won't tolerate elastics, but she has naturally curly hair, and I styled it nicely. Then I looked over and saw MIL, who barely interacted with LO all weekend and who I already have a strained relationship with, using a pick in my daughter's hair to "lift" the curls. We're all white, so this wasn't some cultural hair-care thing. She just decided my daughter's hair needed fixing. Whatever. It basically looked the same afterward.;
​
LO absolutely nailed her walk down the aisle. Everyone loved her. As soon as she was done, I took her out of the church, and we played in the car for the rest of the ceremony. It's hard not to feel like her job was to be a perfect little prop.
​
Then came family photos at a giant Airbnb rented by the bride's family. Again, DH and I were mostly off by ourselves managing LO while feeling mostly ignored. DH's cousin once again suggested it wasn't too late to ask my parents to come help after the reception. I told her that once LO was ready to leave, we'd leave too. DH is sober, I'm pregnant, and we were exhausted. We weren't trying to stay out until midnight.
​
We survived photos with strategic chocolate chip bribery, and honestly the reception ended up being the easiest part of the whole weekend. It had indoor and outdoor space, LO got to dance, and she had a great time. Ironically, the reception was the part everyone kept insisting we needed help for.
​
Then came the after-wedding breakfast.
​
MIL said to DH, "We need to get together more. LO doesn't know me, and I don't know her."
​
Excuse me, but you had an entire weekend.
​
You barely interacted with her. You never played with her. You never offered help. You never tried to connect with her.
​
But somehow the lack of a relationship is still your son's fault.
​
These frigging people.
TL;DR: We spent BILs entire wedding weekend managing our very excited toddler flower girl mostly on our own while the rest of DH's family stood back, judged, suggested we should have arranged more childcare, and barely interacted with her. Then MIL complained afterward that she and LO don't have a relationship because "LO doesn't know me and I don't know her," despite making almost no effort to connect with her all weekend.
This is partly about MIL and partly about general in-law dynamics, with the backdrop being that we're already fairly low contact due to a toxic history.
A few weeks ago, our 2.5-year-old was the flower girl in my BIL's wedding. She's energetic, sweet, and genuinely a good kid. She isn't a brat, but she is a toddler, so she's appropriately a lot sometimes.
Right off the bat, we missed the bus to the rehearsal dinner because of a miscommunication between BIL and DH (shocker). We got there literally five minutes after everyone else, and BIL was annoyed.
Then came the rehearsal. LO needed to be there because she had to practice walking down the aisle. For some reason, they didn't practice that until the very end, even though it happens first.
By that point, she was completely wound up. She was in a new place, wearing a fancy dress after an hour-long car ride, and everyone was talking about her important flower girl job. She was running around the church like a maniac. Not being naughty, just being a very excited toddler.
I was trying to keep her occupied, but DH was the best man and actually had stuff to do, so it was just me, 20 weeks pregnant, chasing a toddler around a church while BIL kept looking at us like, "Why is she acting like that?"
Then MIL asked, "Can't you control her?"
These people know absolutely nothing about children, but they're the kind of people who think they know everything.
Eventually, I took LO outside to the tiny patch of grass by the parking lot. I had brought toys, but she didn't care about them because she just wanted to run.
MIL never once offered to help. Not even to entertain her for five minutes while I sat down. At one point, MIL mentioned that the bride's brother had his MIL come help with the kids. The situations weren't even comparable, though. They had a newborn staying home and older kids who didn't need much support during the actual events.
Then came the rehearsal dinner.
LO was still hyper, so DH and I spent most of the evening taking turns walking her around and making sure she didn't break anything or bother anyone. Meanwhile, most of the family barely interacted with her.
I don't expect anyone to watch my child. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm used to family acting like family at a family event where a child is expected to be. The one exception was DH's aunt, who played with LO for about 20 minutes. It was honestly amazing. She was the only person who offered even a tiny bit of help.
DH's cousin suggested we could have gotten a sitter to take LO home. But LO was expected to be at the rehearsal dinner, and we couldn't exactly bring a sitter along to the restaurant. Asking my parents to drive over an hour and be on standby for a two-day event also felt like a huge ask.
What we actually needed wasn't childcare afterward. We needed a little support during the events.
The next morning, I considered having my parents come help while we got ready, but honestly there wasn't much they could have done. It probably would have been more work coordinating extra people. We got ourselves ready, got LO ready, and made it to photos.
I did LO's hair myself. It looked cute. She won't tolerate elastics, but she has naturally curly hair, and I styled it nicely. Then I looked over and saw MIL, who barely interacted with LO all weekend and who I already have a strained relationship with, using a pick in my daughter's hair to "lift" the curls. We're all white, so this wasn't some cultural hair-care thing. She just decided my daughter's hair needed fixing. Whatever. It basically looked the same afterward.;
LO absolutely nailed her walk down the aisle. Everyone loved her. As soon as she was done, I took her out of the church, and we played in the car for the rest of the ceremony. It's hard not to feel like her job was to be a perfect little prop.
Then came family photos at a giant Airbnb rented by the bride's family. Again, DH and I were mostly off by ourselves managing LO while feeling mostly ignored. DH's cousin once again suggested it wasn't too late to ask my parents to come help after the reception. I told her that once LO was ready to leave, we'd leave too. DH is sober, I'm pregnant, and we were exhausted. We weren't trying to stay out until midnight.
We survived photos with strategic chocolate chip bribery, and honestly the reception ended up being the easiest part of the whole weekend. It had indoor and outdoor space, LO got to dance, and she had a great time. Ironically, the reception was the part everyone kept insisting we needed help for.
Then came the after-wedding breakfast.
MIL said to DH, "We need to get together more. LO doesn't know me, and I don't know her."
Excuse me, but you had an entire weekend.
You barely interacted with her. You never played with her. You never offered help. You never tried to connect with her.
But somehow the lack of a relationship is still your son's fault.
These frigging people.
My fasting have been in the high 80s, low 90s, with only occasional 95s. My team is monitoring, but not concerned at this time. This morning, after a great night sleep and a 42g protein shake at night, I got a fasting reading of 100. That seemed off to me, so I tested again and got a 91. This seemed more realistic based on my patterns. My post meal numbers were great last night. I tested again mostly out of curiosity and it was 120. This was all within 2 minutes. My hands were clean so it wasn't because of residue on my fingers. I tested one more time and it was 101. I recorded the 91 because it made the made the most sense to me and obviously Ill let my provider know about this weird day, but its unnerving feeling like I can't totally trust my meter. Most of the time it gives me consistent readings but this morning was really weird.
I had my anatomy scan today at 21 weeks. I was diagnosed with GDM at 11 weeks and have been diet-controlled with only occasional, minor spikes (2-3x a month). My fasting numbers are in range, and overall my glucose has been well managed.
The scan was completely reassuring. Baby girl looks healthy. Her heart and spine were normal, her AC was around the 38th percentile, and all of her growth measurements were pretty average. She was moving around well and they didn't find a single concerning thing.
I know how lucky I am. I don't take that for granted, but I left the appointment feeling unexpectedly sad.
I think most of it was the MFM doctor's bedside manner. I think she sees serious problems all day, so my scan was probably just another routine, boring scan to her. While looking at the heart, she explained that with early GDM they worry about heart and spine defects, especially if a mother's A1c is over 8. She told me all of that before telling me everything looked normal. I don't know what my A1c was early in pregnancy, but there was never any reason to suspect pre-existing diabetes. My glucose on routine labs before pregnancy was always normal, I was screened early because of family history and a borderline 3-hour test in my first pregnancy, and my A1c 3.5 years ago was 5.2.
She also mentioned that women with preeclampsia (which I had at 38 weeks with my first) tend to have smaller babies, while women with GDM tend to have larger babies, and that my baby was "right in the middle." I know she probably meant that as reassuring, but it felt like she was describing my baby as average because two problems were balancing each other out, rather than because she's simply growing normally. My blood pressure is normal and my GDM has been well controlled.
She also told me that my GDM will likely get worse and that I'll probably need insulin. I understand that insulin resistance often increases as pregnancy progresses, and I'm not afraid of insulin if I need it. It just felt like another reminder of what could go wrong, despite the fact that my numbers are currently doing well.
I think what I'm struggling with is that I expected this appointment to feel celebratory. I've spent months worrying about early GDM, and I walked out with a healthy baby, a normal anatomy scan, and no concerning findings. Instead, the appointment felt focused on future risks and worst-case scenarios.
I know I should feel relieved, and I do. I also feel disappointed that such a big milestone felt more like a risk-management meeting than a celebration of good news.
Has anyone else had a completely reassuring anatomy scan and still left feeling emotionally flat or sad afterward?
Big sister is Valerie Agnes. Middle name for new baby girl will be Frances. Last name is French in origin, but we are American.
Here's our short list:
Julia Frances (tied for first)
Camille Frances (tied for first)
Simone Frances
Elena Frances (maybe too popular)
Open to suggestions, but with rules:
Can't be top 100
Can't start with a V
Can't end in and "e" sound
Nothing too fussy or fancy
The vibe is classic
My daughter (2 years 7 months) is the flower girl in her uncles wedding (my husband's brother) Well today was the rehearsal day and she was FERAL. She is just so excited that she was running around the church and screaming anytime I tried to stop her. I felt like I had to stick around with her because they hadn’t gone over her part yet (literally just walking) My brother in law was getting annoyed. DH and I were on our own as my MIL is not helpful and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. Then we had the welcome dinner and the hall is filled with glass and lit candles. Again, DH and I are on our own. LO is a sweet, good kid usually but today she was off the wall. We are trying to keep tonight as low key as possible and we're going to try to take her to a park tomorrow morning, but its gonna be a packed day. I'm going to miss the ceremony because I'm gonna have LO walk and then immediately take her out and maybe drive around pf a bit. Reception might be better because it's more open. I'm just so stressed about it.
Of course I will be on my best behavior. I'm not so petty to make someone else's wedding awkward. My sister in law is lovely and I truly do pray her experience with MIL is different than mine.
But we have several events to attend and you better believe myself, DH and LO will all be wearing coordinated outfits. Some bitches pee on their territory, I dress mine in matching pink floral.
Ive been very fortunate that I've been able to be diet controlled and have had very few spikes (and the ones I've have have been just a little over 140) The problem is I'm exhasted all the time. I feel under fueled and sluggish. I can’t think straight and I’m not able to be the parent I want to be to my toddler. A few weeks ago I had a sandwich and ate 5/8 of the bagle (whole wheat, stone milled somewhat healthier) and my glucose 1 hour after was 117. After 2 spike free weeks (not even surpassing 120 at 1 hour) I decided to have the same sandwich with the whole bagel. I suspected I would be around 135ish or worst case scenario a bit over 140.
I tested my glucose at one hour and felt like a massive failure to see 173. I've been doing this GDM thing for 7 weeks (18 weeks today, diagnosed at 11) and haven't even been close to 173 outside of the GTT. So anyway, now I’m walking laps around my neighborhood trying to bring it down for the 2 hour mark.
And the worst part? My body actually feels nourished for the first time in almost 2 months. I actually feel like I could clean the house or organize my kids clothes or a whole bunch of things I haven't had the bandwidth to do since getting pregnant. I dont know how to feel normal and adequately fed without causing a spike.
That breakfast was so delicious and filling and I was hoping it could be an occasional weekend treat. I'm feeling really defeated.
I thought it was just important to test while fasted (so before eating). All my fasting numbers have been in the 80s and a rare low 90s, but today I managed to test within 5 minutes of getting up and was surprised to see 94. That's the highest fasting I've ever gotten. All my numbers were well controlled yesterday. I'm worried that maybe my numbers have been higher and I've been missing the peak of fasting because I typically have a delay in testing by 20 minutes or longer. It's hard to test right away because my daughter often wakes up early and I try to get her to settle down again, and then we prioritize cuddle time.
Edit to add: I think I answered my question. I tested an hour after waking, right before eating breakfast. My glucose was 93 (essentially the same)
I just don't understand why some days are higher than others. I haven't figured out the trend yet.
My 2.5 year old can be a handful at home (in a very typical toddler way), but she has always been a good listener at daycare. Today I got my first not-great verbal report from school and I’m wondering if this sounds developmentally normal or if I should be more concerned.
Apparently she got upset over sharing a toy, she had been playing with it, put it down, and then got upset when another child picked it up. They also said she ran away (inside the classroom) when it was time for a diaper change and ignored the teacher calling her over.
What makes it a little tricky is that her main teachers primarily speak Spanish. My daughter understands a lot of Spanish at this point, but we only speak English at home. Communication at pickup can be difficult, so I got this information secondhand through the assistant teacher, who is probably around 19-20 years old.
The behaviors they described honestly sound like things she does with me at home or at the library (especially around sharing), but she’s always seemed very compliant at daycare until now.
Does this sound like a pretty typical toddler report? I want to make sure I address it appropriately, and I don't want to escalate things by going to administration, but I'm not sure if its being brought up because it's an off day or if its the start of a bigger issue. How would you address it with your child at this age? Would you worry at all, or is this just normal 2.5-year-old behavior showing up in a new setting?
I’m going to try to keep this balanced, because I know I might be overthinking.
I already have a strained relationship with my MIL, and both my husband and I are low(ish) contact because her behavior, especially postpartum, really impacted my mental health and our marriage (it was BAD). My BIL doesn’t really get it and tends to think we should all just move on. He also blames DH for everything. It's a pretty icky situation that we kinda just pretend didn't happen? Also, communication in my husband’s family has always been pretty vague, so I’ve learned to ask more specific questions when we need information.
My BIL got engaged last October, around the same time my FIL, who was 83, was diagnosed with cancer. He has since passed. Early on, they told us they weren’t planning to have a bridal party and wanted the wedding to feel like “just a fun party.” They also said our daughter, who is 2, would be invited, and the wedding might be as early as April.
I’m a planner, so I started thinking ahead about outfits for our family. About a month later, at my daughter’s birthday, I casually asked my future SIL if she knew what color suit my BIL would be wearing, since I wanted to coordinate my husband’s suit for family photos. She said they hadn’t decided yet, which is totally fair.
Later, I sent her a couple of dress options I was considering for my daughter, just to get a sense of the vibe, not asking her to choose. She said they weren’t that far along in planning yet. At that point I started worrying I might be coming off as pushy and backed off.
At Thanksgiving, they asked my daughter to be the flower girl, which was lovely, but it surprised me since they had said no bridal party. Around Christmas, they booked a June venue, so the timeline shifted.
At one point, I came across a Pinterest board my SIL was on with MIL that seemed to show a black, white, and greenery formal vibe. I used that as a general guide for my dress search. In January, my husband asked his brother about suit color, and that’s when BIL asked him to be best man and confirmed black suits.
Fast forward to April, about two months out from the wedding, we saw BIL and SIL again. She mentioned the dress code was formal, which I hadn’t known before, and that both moms had already chosen their dresses. I showed her two dresses I was considering for myself, and she liked them.
I also mentioned that I had seen the Pinterest board to get a sense of the vibe, which helped me know which dresses might work. She said she doesn’t really use it, (even though what she described matched it pretty closely.) Later, I noticed the board had been made private.
Now I’m second guessing. Did I overstep by mentioning it? Have I been coming across as pushy or intrusive this whole time?
Things are fine overall, and I now have my dress, but I worry that I made a bad impression. After everything I've gone through with my inlaws, I tend to over analyze in ways I don't on other contexts.
Am I the JustNo here?