u/Ok-Yam-8465

I (26f) have this compulsion that’s only gotten more intense over the years. It is now to the point that it causes me psychological distress.

Possibly 4/5 times a month I have a strong compulsion to count each article of clothing and purge things that feel wrong. This has been problematic for me because I am already a minimalist and have a very small number of clothing. I used to have really intense compulsions to get rid of all my clothes and then I’d have to go buy more because I had nothing to wear.

I’m trying to remember where this started and why. I can only pin it down to 2019/2020. I had just moved out and went through a strange episode where I got rid of everything I owned including deleting all of my photos that I’d accumulated throughout my life. I erased every proof of life that I had on earth and it sort of eased whatever anxiety and mental pain I was feeling.

Since then I have an extreme obsession with the items I own and if they serve a purpose and this fixation is really draining. I am constantly aware of my items and I’m constantly rearranging them, counting them, contemplating what I need/ what I don’t need. I think it started as something to ease some sort of anxiety but now it seems to create more of it

Can anyone relate to this or give me any insight into how I can resolve this ?

Is it normal for all of your clothes to be thrifted?
Excluding underwear, socks and my shoes, all of my clothes are second hand.

I don’t shop at the mall or department stores. I cycle through all the thrift stores in my area whenever I need clothes. And I really enjoy it to. I’d consider it somewhat of a hobby. I’ll spend hours browsing and not even buy anything. It’s just really soothing for me.

Is this strange? Those of you with partners, was this something they found weird? I know a lot of people really don’t like the concept of wearing other people’s clothes but I think it’s some type of shame they have about seeming “poor”

I’ve saved so much money thrifting. I have a great wardrobe with quality pieces that I wear all the time.
I’m realizing it’s a lifestyle though. I’ve met women who don’t even consider a thrift store when it comes to shopping.

Also… household goods… thrift store!

Hey everybody I wanna hear what year your CRV is, how many miles and how long you’ve had it!

I have a 2014 that I’ve been driving for a decade now. I have 113k miles and I plan to drive this until it falls apart.

Anyone with high mileage have any tips for me?

I’ve been on duty (12hr shifts) with two men this past week and hearing them talk about their wives further confirmed my belief that men’s capacity for genuine intimacy and love is nowhere close to a woman’s.

One of these men has been married 10 years and has two children with his wife. The other is more newly wed.

As I listened to them talk, they referred to their wives in a depersonalized manner, as some woman they happen to live with. They spoke of the labor their wives do with casual regard and spoke nothing of their character, personality or the bond they share. Their wives were simply a side character in their life. There was no indication of two people doing life together, instead it was the man’s life and the woman as an accessory.

In no way did they seem to view their wives as independent of their own needs and desires. They contemplated nothing other than themselves. The only mention of women had to do with judgement of their appearance or insulting their intelligence as a whole. They mainly talked about themselves, and seemed to have an inflated view of their own competence, manliness and potential.

‼️I believe men are not capable of truly seeing women as multifaceted beings that have value outside of their sexual gratification and child bearing. I believe men have a deficit that genuinely limits their ability to truly bond with and comprehend the essence of a woman. This is why they rape and kill us. They are not equipped with the tools necessary to be with us…this is why their ability to gain access to us is dependent upon how well they can lie and persuade us to be with and stay with them.‼️

I’ve been on duty (12hr shifts) with two men this past week and hearing them talk about their wives further confirmed my belief that men’s capacity for genuine intimacy and love is nowhere close to a woman’s.

One of these men has been married 10 years and has two children with his wife. The other is more newly wed.

As I listened to them talk, they referred to their wives in a depersonalized manner, as some woman they happen to live with. They spoke of the labor their wives do with casual regard and spoke nothing of their character, personality or the bond they share. Their wives were simply a side character in their life. There was no indication of two people doing life together, instead it was the man’s life and the woman as an accessory.

In no way did they seem to view their wives as independent of their own needs and desires. They contemplated nothing other than themselves. The only mention of women had to do with judgement of their appearance or insulting their intelligence as a whole. They mainly talked about themselves, and seemed to have an inflated view of their own competence, manliness and potential.

‼️I believe men are not capable of truly seeing women as multifaceted beings that have value outside of their sexual gratification and child bearing. I believe men have a deficit that genuinely limits their ability to truly bond with and comprehend the essence of a woman. This is why they rape and kill us. They are not equipped with the tools necessary to be with us…this is why their ability to gain access to us is dependent upon how well they can lie and persuade us to be with and stay with them.‼️

Okay so my period is a day late.
First day of my last period was 20JUN and I had unprotected sex 28JUN (he didn’t cum inside me but precum is a thing..)

Right now I’m 1 day late and I’ve taken two tests that came out negative. I’ve been having brown discharge for 3 days now and still no real cramping or bleeding. I’m also VERY nauseous. This isn’t looking good is it?

I just drank turmeric and ginger emergen-C with the hopes to help induce a period. I’m also gonna try to go for a run in the evening if I’m not too nauseous.
I bought a couple more tests to try tomorrow…

I’m definitely worried and already planning for next steps… idk if this makes a difference but I did get a toradol shot a couple days ago, could this possibly be delaying my period?

I’m not sure if anyone else does this but when I want to read a book, I just download the pdf and basically read it as an ebook. Not only is it free but I also don’t accumulate physical books. I’m a minimalist and I hate owning anything I deem as excess or unnecessary..

However, I’m looking for ideas for storing these files and reading them on something other than my phone.

I post on here a lot about being a female in the military because it’s truly my only outlet to vent/discuss etc

I’ve noticed that men will talk extensively about using women’s bodies, sex, etc. but completely turn away, get embarrassed or grossed out when menstruation is mentioned.

I work with men who are genuinely preoccupied with every little thing that has to do with women, yet discussion about the function of the body that they lust over and try to control is suddenly taboo.

Men act disgusted, walk away, try to silence you for simply talking about it… it’s so strange and insulting. We’re so conditioned to feel shame about how our body works…

Why I’m writing this:

My unit is currently conducting a field exercise and the porta potties are not accessible from our area of operation. They’re at least a mile away in the middle of a field. It’s a very long walk and impossible to find at night so people have been using the bathroom outside. We usually pull 12 hour shifts and then come back to a building with the proper facilities to conduct hygiene and sleep.

Well, today my sergeant told me I’d be pulling 12 hour shifts everyday at the entrance of our site. He told me this in-front of 4 of my peers. So I proceeded to ask him about the bathroom situation and asked if I’d be able to take the hummvee back for the bathroom to which he said no. So I decided to tell him that my period is supposed to start in a few days and as soon as I said that, all the guys got quiet/ uncomfortable.

It’s not the first time me or the other females have been open about our bodies but everytime we do, the energy shifts. Anyways… my sergeant did accommodate my schedule which I’m thankful for.

Regulation says females are entitled to a private space to conduct hygiene while menstruating in field environments.

To be in 100 degree weather for 12 hours, no bathroom access while bleeding is absolutely insane. And no we are not a combat MOS, there will never be a situation where we’re deployed and don’t have access to bathrooms. We are not SF or infantry so the lack of bathroom access is insane!

I’ve keep seeing videos about cancelling streaming subscriptions and getting an mp3 player instead. Have any of y’all done this? I pay 15/mo for Spotify and don’t really mind the price really.

I think I’m simply being tempted to spend money when I really don’t need to. But, I also listen to the same music over and over so an MP3 player would likely be very sustainable.

The only thing I’m worried about is the inconvenience of my music being separate from my phone! I’m very minimalist and I like my belongings to be as condensed and necessary as possible.

I have 9 months left at my current duty station until I move on towards something else in the army. Please give me some type of motivation or mindset shift to make it through.

My unit has genuinely become a nightmare to be in. I’m very competent in my job but after some mental health battles it seems I’ve become invisible and cast aside.. despite starting meditation that helps.

I feel like I have no more purpose in this unit and I’m really eager for a fresh start. I just don’t know how I can do 9 more months of this shit. I feel so useless and I feel like people think poorly of me and it’s driving me nuts.

Hey so I’m wondering if any other people have the same experience as me…

I (26f) have genetic depression. Both my grandmother and mother were diagnosed with MDD and medicated. At 13 I tried hanging myself with my belt in my closet and would go on to cut my wrists for some time afterwards as well.

I spent my entire life unmedicated, suffering from deep soul sucking depression and SI until this past year and now I’m finally on antidepressants.

I’m in the military and it’s only because of the healthcare that I was able to get treatment…also I was not functioning up to the standards of a soldier….. I was having constant thoughts of taking my life and felt like I would have to do it soon due to how bad things had gotten.

I say all this to say that even though I’m feeling super stable on antidepressants, I’ve realized that I can never own a gun because I’m confident that I will use it on myself. I have been sick my entire life and I believe I wouldn’t be here right now if I had owned a gun in the past.

This is a strange thing for me because although I like the idea of having one in the future for my own protection, I know it would also be sealing my fate.

Although my antidepressants have dulled my emotions and negative thoughts, I still have occasional days where i feel hopeless and I know that without medication I’m very sick.

So I abide by the sentiment that boys being mean because they “like” a girl is bullshit. By this I mean that a man can be sexually attracted to you but not LIKE you. And this is what allows him to be mean.
Men who like you are not rude, disrespectful or constantly negging you.

A man liking you as a person and a man who is attracted to you are two different things.

I have dealt with a lot of men who have been attracted to me and try to get my attention through disrespect, aggression or stalking. I find this incredibly concerning, creepy and disgusting.

I don’t find it endearing or cute, I see it for what it is: DANGEROUS.

I work in a male dominated field and when a man is attracted to me but doesn’t like me it is fucking scary.

They often either fear rejection from me or simply hate that they find me attractive in the first place and it manifests in their behavior towards me.

This has looked like them putting their hands on me, taking things from me, invading my space, acting possessive… one of the scariest things is when they talk as if they know me or as if we’re closer than we actually are. This is happening to me right now. One of my coworkers keeps saying things like “I know you” and is crossing boundaries because he feels close to me. Mind you I have reciprocated NOTHING.

I’m learning how to identify warning signs and take precautions before I’m harmed but I just wanted to share this…

This is honestly incredibly stressful for me. I don’t like being disrespected and encroached upon. I like men who respect me, listen to me, men who are kind and treat me as a human. This happens in every work/ social environment I exist in.

So I’m interested to hear from other countries militaries on this subject…

The US Army has a real problem with obesity. There are so many obese and lazy soldiers. I know this can be a sensitive subject for some people but I’ve been in for 3 years now and an absurd amount of people make excuses for why they can’t work out and get profiles that allow them to opt out of pt.

I find this extremely frustrating because it allows people to cop out of one of the major standards of being a soldier. Working out is tough, it’s supposed to be challenging and it requires discipline to prioritize your fitness. There seems to be a belief that it just comes easy to some people… no. It takes work.

I’ve noticed that units often give soldiers way too many chances to get within standards and sometimes just ignore them all together. I feel like there needs to be stricter regulations for this. But I also know that the army simply wants bodies. And once you’re in the army it takes something extreme for you to get kicked out.

Even though I take pride in prioritizing my fitness and trying to exceed the expectations, I feel upset that so many soldiers don’t and no one seems to care.

And when I say obese I truly mean it. I see soldiers daily whose body fat is evident. In my unit we have soldiers who are obese and have acquired profiles to ensure that they don’t have to run or do the SDC in the AFT…. And they keep getting bigger.

I feel like instead of focusing on hair and beard standards we should focus on the obesity problem first.

I have a 2014 Honda CRV.
I learned how to drive in it and it’s been my car for 10 years now. I’m 26.
My mom purchased it brand new but died a few months after so I inherited the car.

I have 112k miles on it, its paid off, reliable and I take care of it. However, I cannot stop thinking about my dream car: an older gen 4Runner that I can mod out and make my own

I really want a 4Runner and it’s something I’ve been chewing on for over a year now. Please deinfluence me! I have no reason to get rid of my Honda except for it not being the aesthetic I want. It’s reliable and has a lot of life left in it.

I’m open to y’all’s opinions… this is driving me nuts.
(This is obviously a first world problem. The only reason this is feasible is because I’m in the military and financially stable)

Sooo being a woman in the military has literally forced me to adapt in ways I don’t necessarily like but I’ve had to do in order to not go crazy.

1. One of the biggest ones is becoming incredibly selfish. Men have blinders on when it comes to thinking about the space they take up and the comfortability of others. They will play their phone out loud in shared spaces, man spread, take all the resources and not share with others.

This is something that’s bothersome to me and most women I know are very considerate of others and often take the shorter end or the stick to ensure others are taken care of.

This is something I’ve stopped doing. If a guy is being a nuisance I’ll be an even bigger one, I’ll unapologetically claim my spot, I’ll cut to the front of the line, I’ll be inconvenient. Because IF I DONT I will be blamed for my own discomfort or lack! You HAVE to be somewhat aggressive and selfish.

2. Another thing is I don’t sugarcoat or soften anything. I say what I mean and I’m direct about what I want/ need. This is a double edged sword as a woman because it’s unexpected. So when you’re assertive and direct they think you’re a bitch BUT they take you seriously.

I can’t tell you how many times young women are taken advantage of, ignored and disrespected because they’re still operating on the assumption that agreeableness is a socially favorable trait. It typically is but not in a male dominated environment! This is something a lot of us learn the hard way sadly.

3. One last thing I just thought of is learning how to “bust balls”. Men talk a lot of shit to each other and tease each other ALOT. Before joining I didn’t realize how men act around each other but it’s usually things women would NEVER joke about with each other.

It took me a while to differentiate teasing and straight up disrespect. But, after a while I’ve learned how to throw my own playful jabs and have fun with the guys…. Cause although it can be extremely tiring and draining being around them, it’s important to adapt in ways that make my life easier.

ALSO:
I’ve had to kill a lot of my traits that I used to consider beautiful. My sensitivity, compassion, consideration and softness have all died to a certain extent. And it’s a result of the pain I endured because of those traits. These are not the traits that are valued in men and they often punish those who have them. I’ve been victim to a violent sexual assault, stalking, harassment, bullying and the only thing that helped was killing all of the traits I once thought were meaningful.

My entire relationship with myself and my femininity has flipped and when I’m alone with my thoughts I really ponder it. (I’m on duty right now so all I have is time…)

Has anyone else failed to receive their Pell disbursement?

I take classes at UMGC and this is the first time in two years that the disbursement had been delayed like this. I’m pretty bummed of course cause I’m already half way through my 8 wk course so I feel like I won’t get it at this point.

I’m assuming delays are due to the OBBBA? Idk. What do y’all know about this?

UPDATE: I JUST FOUND IT after searching for days. It’s Chance Donohoe

I’ve been trying to find a case I watched on YouTube and I can’t find it!!!. I’m hoping someone here recognizes it.

What I remember:

•A young white guy (I think both he and the victim were in their 20s) went to his girlfriend’s/ex-girlfriend’s house and killed her, I believe it was either stabbing or gun

• He admitted to necrophilia

•He gave a VERY detailed confession and was unusually honest/open about what he did.

•I vaguely remember that he either called or talked to his mom before or after the murder, and there’s a possibility she convinced him to turn himself in ??

•There was surveillance/security camera footage showing him outside the victim’s house before the murder. I specifically remember him kind of lingering outside like he was debating whether to go in.

•I also vaguely remember footage of him outside after the murder, possibly smoking a cigarette.(not entirely sure tho)

• I think he might’ve been creeping around her place for a bit before she decided to let him in the night he killed her

What I remember most is how forthcoming he was while being interrogated.

If anyone recognizes this case, let me know because it’s driving me insane

I’ve been trying to find a case I watched on YouTube and I can’t find it!!!. I’m hoping someone here recognizes it.

What I remember:

•A young white guy (I think both he and the victim were in their 20s) went to his girlfriend’s/ex-girlfriend’s house and killed her, I believe it was either stabbing or gun

• He admitted to necrophilia

•He gave a VERY detailed confession and was unusually honest/open about what he did.

•I vaguely remember that he either called or talked to his mom before or after the murder, and there’s a possibility she convinced him to turn himself in ??

•There was surveillance/security camera footage showing him outside the victim’s house before the murder. I specifically remember him kind of lingering outside like he was debating whether to go in.

•I also vaguely remember footage of him outside after the murder, possibly smoking a cigarette.(not entirely sure tho)

• I think he might’ve been creeping around her place for a bit before she decided to let him in the night he killed her

What I remember most is how forthcoming he was while being interrogated.

If anyone recognizes this case, let me know because it’s driving me insane