u/Ok_Lawfulness757

Hi, I receive UC currently on LCW and have work focused interviews every 3 months.

I'm currently enrolling in 2 courses with a college which are part time and I'm hoping to be able to volunteer for a couple hours a week to gain confidence and build skills, I'm wondering if I will also have to look for work ontop of this?

I'm worried as I don't think I could cope with doing more than 2 things as main things at once alongside other things like therapy, autism support course etc. I was going to ask in my journal but I didn't want them assuming anything.

Hi, I've been exploring my faith as a Christian and really delving into the denominations. I was raised Anglican but I'm really drawn to alot of aspects of catholicism like communion, confession, praying the rosary and the Saints etc. The structure and rules also make me drawn to it since I very much enjoy strict structure etc.

I'm well aware of the Catholic stance on the lgbtq+, abortion etc. However I don't believe that being lgbtq+ is a sin and I am pro choice completely.

Are there trans people who attend a Catholic church, what is it like? I don't want to have to feel unwelcome or unsafe when attending a church as you are supposed to feel safe. I'm completely stealth so it's not like it'd be obvious but it matters to me that it's not something that is hated or shunned.

The church I planned on attending in my parish is fully accepting but isn't Catholic.

I'm 20, I was diagnosed autistic when I was 5 years old and my support system has always been absent. My mother tried to fight for an EHCP and other accommodations but because I was verbal and didn't stim in 'typical' ways they brushed her off and I went without help for most of my childhood, the school only agreed to start an ehcp by the time I had already clocked out and would not attend school at age 15.

Being an adult I can ask for accommodations but due to the lack of them all of my life I get quite embarrassed at the thought of asking for things because to alot of people that meet me they label me as smart, talkative etc even though I really am not.

I had an appointment with a neurodiverse trained cbt specialist last week and she asked if there's any other accommodations I would like (I had previously asked just to be direct in communication etc). I can think of a good few things that would help me, not just in therapy but daily life to help myself, but when it comes down to It I get so ashamed because to alot of people i don't seem that autistic or because I am an adult think I have it all figured out and won't act like I'm autistic.

I always thought I masked well but according to friends and family I really don't especially when you know what your looking at.

My question is, how do I actually figure out what accommodations would be useful for me and how do I go about feeling less shame to accept these accommodations?

I've been with my partner for 4 years, the first two years were a disaster. I had a mental health crisis and suffered with severe BPD episodes, I was genuinely a bad person then or maybe just a very mentally unwell 15 year old.

Despite this, they got back with me after a couple breakups.

We have ups and downs as every couple but it always repeats the same patterns, we are all good for 1-2 weeks then we have an arguement and then the rest of that week is bad with arguements and resentment etc.

I understand why they resent me, considering my behaviour at the beginning of the relationship but equally I don't think me being that mentally unwell defines how I am now at 20 years old. I'm back in therapy and I'm trying to do better everyday.

But when we get into arguements they tell me the same things everytime, that I am a bad person, that I never listen to them, I don't care, I will always be like this, I'm useless, I'm stupid and delusional etc.

It's really hard because every arguement seems to be about what I am doing wrong, even if they have done wrong to start.

For example, on Sunday I asked them to take the rubbish out to the bin meanwhile I put my headphones on to do some washing up. I didn't hear them call up the stairs multiple times because of that, so they came back upstairs pissed off and asked what bin goes out, I said "the black one". Off they went back downstairs and took the bin out to the curb, I didn't realise I had told them to take it out out, i thought they were asking because Monday is the day you take the bins out so I figured they were asking to prepare for that. They came back in and I realise my mistake, I had told them to take out the bin. I said "oh, it's Monday to take the bins out, you didn't have to take it out today" they got audibly annoyed and very angry, said I had embarrassed them infront of the whole street and called me useless etc. I told them they should not speak to me like that, I didn't realise and it was a mistake. They got angrier and angrier and the whole day was a disaster, it was hot and they were in pain.

Now, on Tuesday the bin was never taken out and we missed another bin day. They then told me I should take some responsibility but I already do everything else, I have to keep track of the bin days or they forget, I have to keep track of when subscriptions come out or they'll forget, I have to do the laundry because they can't deal with the loud noise from the machine, I have to manage food etc. They complain I never let them do anything but they don't do it anyway, all they do is sit outside and smoke by their own choice. Even when we stay away from home it's all they want to do, if we stay at my parents house or at a hotel, it's always about where they can smoke, when they can smoke, how they missed their morning smoke because we had to leave the house etc.

This is most of the arguements, I will do something wrong, they get angry at me but at the end I end up apologising because I 'started it', maybe if I just listened etc.

It annoys me that they never see how they contribute to the problem and it always lands on me, it does make me pretty resentful because I feel like I'm being constantly blamed and then get a mad partner too.

I can be rude and angry, I'm autistic, my tone is often 'off' or inappropriate for the situation, they've known I was autistic our whole relationship. I do try and control my tone when I recognise it but often it seems like I am being rude or sound rude/angry when I definitely am not. It's nothing personal to them, but it really upsets them and honestly I don't know how to fix that. They like to remind me ill always be like this and that I'm just a bad person, and I'm starting to believe them.

I'm not entirely sure what to do anymore, there's deeper things than this but this has been my last 2 days.

I'm sure I'll get alot of sign tapping comments to say about breakups, but it's easier said than just done. They feel like more than a partner to me, like family.

What would you do in my situation?

Is it worth me continuing to work on myself and maybe seek more therapy?

Before I even write this post, I understand people own their own bodies and I cannot control what another person does, I don't want to have control over them and I understand that this is my problem and not theirs.

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I just want some advice on how to stop obsessing over it, it's all of my thoughts. If I leave the house all I can think about is if they are doing it, if I am coming home I'm imaging walking in on them, if we are arguing it's all I can think about them doing.

I don't want to think like this, it just pops into my mind and I cannot get rid of it, it's involuntary and if I try and distract myself it just stays in my mind.

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I obviously don't think they really do it all that much, and even if they did who am I to stop them, but it's all my mind can think about. We've been together for 4 years now, I didn't think it would preoccupy my thoughts this much. It's gotten to a point where I avoid leaving the house in case they do it, which is getting in the way of me enjoying activities by myself. It's genuinely distressing to me and I know it's a really silly thing to be so worried about.

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I really want to stop this and I've avoided talking about it incase I look like a bad person, but truly I do not want to think this way or feel this way.

I have tried to talk to them but they aren't that approachable and at the end of the day it's my issue to solve, I just don't know how to start.

As the title states, I'm ashamed of my faith. A silly thing I know but in the age of more right leaning Christianity and people using christ for hate I find it difficult to assure myself that I have gone with the right faith. I walked through my town this morning and there were preachers telling people they were going to hell, my partner said they should read a bible. I said not all Christians are like that and there are definitely progressive and affirming Christians but they didn't seem so sure and reiterated they were all like that. I don't want to be ashamed of my faith but I also don't want my partner to think I'm like the right wing. I'm sure many of you feel the same way about right wingers and christ.

I've been on the search for a label, I exclusively use he/him in all aspects of life but in certain situations or when interacting with certain things I feel a strong need to use she/her and I don't know what that is about but I'm wondering if there's a label for it already or if I need to make one.

Thanks for any help

I was discussing Christianity with my partner and they said that Christianity invented marriage and that it was about purity and being pure.

I'm not sure what extent i agree with that and I'd love to have a discussion on it.

On another point, they said that I could not practice bdsm or things like it because it isn't pure and wouldn't be accepted as a Christian.

I recently reached out to my local Anglican church to find out if they were Affirming, obviously being Anglican you'd hope they would be but no harm in asking. I'm now wondering if my email sounds rather dumb, in short I asked "is this church affirming to queer people and do you do gay weddings" two simple questions to figure it out. I don't know if I worded that right, I was going to use the term "same sex marriages" but my partner said just use gay weddings lol.

Would you guys say that's acceptable?

UPDATE: I got a response to my initial email, it reads as follows: "You would most definitely be welcome at any of the churches in our parish. We foster an inclusive, respectful and safe environment, without judgement or assumptions about people's private lives. We actively challenge discrimination. Some of our staff and congregation members are already from the LGBT community. You would be treated as the person you are, reaching out to be nearer to God. Unfortunately, the Church of England does not allow same sex marriage within their churches, although a blessing may be possible." I think this answers my question quite well and I recently found out that the church of England changed their stance on gay marriage unfortunately.