I've been with the same church and ministry group for 10 years. It really shaped me a confident adult, but I fear I'll just have to leave when I come out. I think I can get them to be okay with the idea, and persuade them using bible-based evidence, but even then, I know a few of the older folk will just have a hard time with it.

I'm talking, like, the best case scenario being that these people rephrase sentences to avoid using a name/pronoun for me.

I'm guessing that's the case, but, this is all new water to tread, and my heart yearns to see the good in people.

As a Christian/boy, i HATE how obsessed society is with gendering clothing. I get so sick of it's like jesus is way more than people think he is. He is more forgiving and gives people more freedom. Do you know how ridiculous it sounds to send someone to hell just because they wear womens clothing? Do you think that the creator of the universe would do such a blasphemous thing? Just for an innocent thing like this? And what makes it even more miserable and depressing is that I live with a family who are all antitrans and hate how boys today are wearing so-called "girls' clothes" it's like how are they girls clothes if they where originally made for men? To be fair, I would rather live in a time where I could actually be beautiful and pretty without all this gender bs. I feel so sad and lost cause I dont know who to trust! I just want to be happy! And beautiful! And pretty! I just want the pain to go away! Please help! Please pray! I want to do this so bad! This is not a phase! It never will be! I just want to be free! I hate how people think that jesus will punish someone for things like this he won't cause that is wrong, and why would he punish someone just for a innocent thing like this?

My mom told me and my cousin she isnt gonna tell us god loves us like the others she said we are going too hell she said as soon as I’m old enough she wants me out her house for being gay/trans and she talks about my cousin behide his back
It’s hurtful and sad

I'm afab, started having gender dysphoria when I was 15/16 and I'm 21 now. I know I'm a trans man or at least transmasc. I'm also very suicidal and have been thinking about committing so I'm not a burden to my religious family or anyone else who knows me tbh. I have major mental health issues, I just took time off work because i cant focus, I have a drinking issue and to drink whenever i feel depressed which made my bf upset to the point he ignored me which i don't blame him. I'm slowly beginning to think dying is the only escape since I'm told I'm not saved anyway so why would it matter if i died

Hi, my name is Helenna, I'm a trans girl, I'm 17 years old, but, it's getting worse, and I feel horrible, I, I used to be a fervent Christian, an apologist, but when I started discovering my dysphoria, being a girl brought me a happiness and sense of well-being that I had never felt before. I'm not a Christian anymore and I'm not even sure whether being trans is actually a sin according to religion, but I'm still very afraid. It's 4 in the morning right now and I can't sleep. What if I'm wrong? What if they're right?

I'm a hypocrite, the worst of all sinners, because knowing God perfectly well, I chose to reject Him simply because I thought my personal comfort mattered more, but I nadbrve6s6wg, it hurts so much not being able to be who I want to be. How can a good God, who knew that being a girl would make me so happy, have chosen to make me be born in the wrong body? And that thought alone is already blasphemy. I feel awful, and the idea of Hell is still far too terrifying. How am I supposed to live my life knowing that if I'm wrong, I'll burn in the very essence of God's eternal wrath?

Something terrible could happen in the next few hours. I could go to sleep and wake up dead. I could get hit by a stray bullet. China could go to war with the United States and destroy the world, or I could simply have a heart attack and then wake up before the God who made me male, and I pointed my finger in His face to tell Him that the perfect Being made a mistake.

I know there are different interpretations, but deep down, at the core of my being, there's still a part of me that thinks this is wrong. So even if someone gave me a perfect theological argument, I would probably still be weak in faith and believe that by being Helenna I was sinning against my conscience. I could apply the whole "the one who does it, does it for God, and the one who does not, does not do it for God," but that doesn't work if being trans is actually intrinsically sinful. Romans says that we all have God's law written on our hearts, making us without excuse. Deep down I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I love being a girl, and apparently, more than I love God.

Nobody understands me. I don't go to church anymore. My parents are violently homophobic and have said they would commit suicide if they had a "gay son," and that they would rather have a rapist murderer. I'm afraid of whether my sister would accept me. And then there are the people from the LGBT community who like me and would absolutely accept me, but who would never understand the religious side of my conflict.

Jesus said we would not know the hour when He would return. He could come tonight, and I won't go with Him. I'll suffer for all eternity because I thought my comfort mattered more than the glory of Almighty God.

I wish I were an atheist. I really do. There are so many benefits. Being a believer has absolutely no benefits. If God doesn't exist, then the believer threw their life away, lost everything good life had to offer. Lies and bribery are there to be used responsibly. Drugs and masturbation are there to be enjoyed recreationally. But I feel cursed by God. I feel like I've been given a burden much heavier than anyone around me. I don't know anyone else going through something like this. I feel alone, abandoned by everything and everyone, even by God.

Do I deserve peace? Why is it intrinsically true that I deserve peace? Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe I'm a depraved sinner who hates good and only practices evil, a sworn enemy of the good and almighty God. Why would such a disgusting creature deserve peace?

My parents said they only had me so they could have financial support and someone to visit them in the hospital when they need it. They said I'm not allowed to leave home and that they will accept nothing less than a monthly minimum wage handed to them by me for the rest of my life. Even without knowing that I'm Helenna, they already hate who I am socially. They're the ones who choose what I wear. They buy my clothes and decide before I leave the house. They choose my haircut. They say they have no pride in me.

I'm almost graduating as a computer technician from Fundação Matias Machline. I'm a two-time national gold medalist in OBMEP. I have a C1 English certificate. But the time I was almost run over, my mother became incredibly angry because she said I had embarrassed her terribly. She said I can't leave Amazonas because it would be sinful to abandon the land "God chose for you to be born in," even though I hate everything here. I hate the food, I hate the culture, I hate the climate. It's one of the cities with the highest levels of violence against LGBT people in the entire country.

Why does being human have intrinsic value? If there is no God, who gives value to the universe? Why does someone else's desire to live matter more than my desire to kill them? (Hypothetical example.)

I feel like no religion is capable of saving me. If not even Christianity, which offers salvation by grace, can make me feel at peace with who I am, then what hope is there for a religion based on salvation by works?

I have a dream life in mind. A life where I wake up in the morning, see snow outside the window (I love snow), make breakfast for my wife (yes, I'm sapphic, but that's another story), kiss her before she leaves for work, and spend the day doing housework, studying, and playing video games until she comes home and I can give her love, affection, and pleasure. And maybe, just maybe, I would be so fulfilled that I could get up, brush my teeth, go through an entire day without thinking about God, and then realize it, and understand that I can move on.

But no, I can't. Because when I say I wouldn't think about God in that scenario, I mean in the sense of searching for happiness, because I would already be completely happy. But I would still think about God all the time as the cosmic judge who HATES ME in a PERFECTLY JUST way because I hated Him first. At that moment I understand Pascal's Wager, even though I don't agree with it.

Could God have mercy on me? Could He recognize that my pain is immense and that everything I did was just an attempt to stop hurting myself? The best thing that ever happened to me was Fundação Matias Machline having a medical clinic, because when I violently scratch my forearm, that's where my friends take me.

But no, because my suffering isn't righteous. God chose to create a world where me being Helenna is wrong, and where having my dream spouse is wrong. Why did God place desires inside me that nothing on earth is capable of satisfying?

I'm safe right now. The last time was over a month ago, I think. Usually it's because of guilt spirals. Like, the last time it happened was because, okay, I don't hear very well, I speak loudly, and I think I might have some mild hearing loss, and someone at school just told me to shut up while I was talking. Completely out of nowhere. I immediately left the classroom and started scratching myself with my fingernails until my skin turned red.

The time before that was because my friend was on her period. I accidentally annoyed her and felt unbelievably guilty about it, until after I had already done that to myself she texted me apologizing for getting upset over something so small.

If I saw someone going through my situation, I would feel immense pity and compassion. I would want to hug them and give them love. But I can't see myself that way, and I can't imagine anyone seeing me that way. My parents have said that I'm incapable of getting married because nobody could ever love me.

What do I think God thinks about me? Disgust. Definitely disgust. A miserable worm who thinks she knows more than Him. "Who are you, O man?" Where were you when I created the heavens and the earth? Look upon Leviathan.

God's love is for those whom His Son purchased with His blood. I've always been Calvinist, but I would say not for a good reason. I simply thought I was too sinful and terrible to have chosen God. I didn't think I was capable of doing good at all. The logical conclusion was that God elected me. And Calvinism says Christ did not die for everyone, but for His own, and that God has a general hatred toward fallen creation because sin is a deliberate choice to reject the good.

Other than my parents and maybe an aunt who hates me because she wanted to give my brother an overdose and I didn't let her, almost everyone who knows me has a positive opinion of me. I always try to be kind, to understand people's side of things, not to accuse people without evidence, to correct the people I love when they make mistakes because that's what I would want them to do for me.

But when I unconsciously correct some grammatical mistake my parents make, I get at least thirty minutes of a speech about how I hate them, think they're stupid, and think I'm better than everyone else.

I know it sounds like I'm speaking very badly about them, and from a humanist perspective I have more than enough reasons to hate them, but I don't. I want absolutely no contact with them once I leave home, but the fact that the Bible commands us to honor our parents would still trouble me. Because even though I love them, I recognize that they made my life far more miserable than it had to be, and I don't think they deserve honor.

They dismiss my friendships. "You don't have friends. Your only friends are us."

When I almost lost my computer because I left it at school (and by the way, it contained all the files for my graduation project that I had spent six months programming), their reaction was, "It's gone. You lost it. Everyone hates you. Nobody is good in this world. Someone definitely stole it. Sorry."

In the end, I called a friend. She went there, found the computer, and kept it safe for me.

And what hurts me most about that story is that my mother's genuine reaction to the possibility of me losing six months of work and maybe not graduating was, "Sorry." And when I started tearing up from worry, she laughed.

Maybe that's exactly why the idea of being a girl appealed to me so much. Girls are socially allowed to wear colorful clothes, express their feelings, cry, laugh, perform, be mischievous sometimes. But any man who does those things is looked down upon.

I love theater, but I've had very few opportunities to practice it in my life.

And beyond that, being a girl would allow me to be fragile, to feel fragile, and not have to be strong. I could rest my head on someone's shoulder when I was sleepy and they'd think it was cute instead of pushing me away.

My mother spent my entire childhood and my brother's saying that she wished she'd had two daughters and didn't get the chance, which is why she adopted my sister. That shaped part of the image I have of women.

When I see a girl at school, for example (setting aside the normal gender envy and dysphoria), what I mostly feel is shame and fear that I'm somehow making her uncomfortable.

I hate being tall. Okay, I'm 1.67 meters, but that's already much taller than I'd like. And whenever I talk to a girl who's shorter than me, I feel like I'm offending her somehow, that she finds me disgusting. That's not objectively true. I know it isn't because I have friends, and my best friend loves me, I know she does. But I still think it.

Nothing offends me more than being called sexist because I love women so much that I wish I were one and married to one. So being treated as someone who despises women wounds me at the deepest level of my soul.

I have severe arachnophobia. I use texture packs and mods to remove spiders from Minecraft. I couldn't finish Terraria and barely managed to finish Hollow Knight because of them. When my brother was much younger, he had a rubber spider that he liked throwing at me, and I'd scream like a little girl, and my parents hated that.

I live in Amazonas, and there are spiders here. My parents have a rural property in the countryside, and there were always lots of them there. My mother once told me about a time when I woke up terrified because there was a huge spider on the wall extremely close to me, and I was completely frozen. I don't remember any of that, thankfully. But being at that property was a constant source of fear, and my father always looked down on me for it because he loved being there. He would kill the spiders and set them on fire. He mocked my fear and said it was stupid.

The thing about screaming is interesting too. My voice has always been high-pitched. I'm almost completely certain that I have some degree of testosterone deficiency (and honestly, I'm not complaining) because I'm 17 years old and don't have a single facial hair, among other things.

And throughout my life I've been misgendered, and for some reason, before I understood why, it never bothered me. It still happens. Three days ago I shouted the name of a friend during an award ceremony, and a guy in front of me turned around and said he "thought it had been a girl."

Want me to name three good qualities about myself?

I. Have. Absolutely. No. Idea.

But if you asked any of my friends, they'd definitely know.

Maybe it's because I'm an INTP hahahahaha.

Just kidding, I'm not going to treat MBTI like it's astrology.

I, uh, I guess I care about justice. I wanted to study law, but my parents told me not to because they said it's too dangerous and that every lawyer puts their entire family at risk.

Uh... I'm good at video games?

It's really difficult for me to say anything interesting about myself and MY GOD IT'S 6 IN THE MORNING I SPENT 2 FREAKING HOURS WRITING THIS.

Oh, and I don't swear around anyone. When I'm alone I'm a little more liberal about it, but never in front of other people.

Wow, I wrote A TON.

I'm going to try to sleep now.

Honestly, having the sun outside really does seem to make a difference in my thoughts.

When puberty started for me, I wished and I think I even prayed to God to become a boy. I thought if I acted enough like a boy my body would get the idea and switch by itself though I didn't fully understand the difference between boys and girls, having a "girl" puberty didn't feel right. Unfortunately that physical switch didn't quite happen.

Now I'm a young trans adult (22yo) and I'm wondering about something. This may sound super childish, but if I prayed consistently and faithfully, couldn't God transform my body to be like that of a cis man's? Would fasting and prayer work?

I've got to do something about being trans bc it's not going away and dragging myself through the day trying to distract myself from my dysphoria and poor mental health isn't cutting it, not when pretty much everything reminds me of it all and/or makes it worse.

Maybe this is one of those things I just have to wait for. Kid me prayed and wished "for my body to change" so if I ever go on T (and I hope that can happen ASAP) and get top surgery, technically my prayers will have been answered. If not, then there's the promise of getting a new body in Heaven, though with how terrible I've been lately I unfortunately doubt I'll be getting one and the implication there terrifies me.

Anyway, is it possible? Faith can move mountains. Maybe that's purely figurative, but anything is possible with God.

Hello all! I may not have posted/commented here too often, but this subreddit was a great help for me when I was trying to reconcile who I am with what I believe. I will always have a warm spot in my heart for you all because of that.

However, due to my own personal experiences and realizations, I cannot call my self a Christian anymore. My beliefs have shifted wildly since I started this journey, but the religious trauma is still there. Unfortunately too many of the posts on here trigger said trauma, and I just can't keep subjecting myself to that and I will be leaving this subreddit.

So, farewell all! I sincerely hope you all find a place where your beliefs and who you are can reach a level of symbiosis so that you may be who you are in peace. Thank you all, and goodbye!

I'm not looking to convince my family that being trans isn't a sin at all, because that's a way bigger load to carry. Right now I just want to help them realize that affirming someone's gender identity isn't sinful, even if they think it would be wrong to be trans themselves. It would be a much gentler start than just immediately trying to convince them that being trans is objectively not a sin, someone's religious beliefs aren't up to me to change.

I told my aunt that I'm not Christian, and she's still holding me to Christian standards regarding my gender identity. She told me she's not going to affirm my identity because she thinks being trans is wrong. She also used my deceased mom as another reason, acting like it's a fact that my mom continues to live in the afterlife (I think an afterlife could be possible, but I don't think someone's soul should dictate a living person's identity) and insinuating that it would be disrespectful to her to transition by telling me that I need to think about how my mom would feel about this if she was still here.

She also thinks transitioning is an impulsive act of rebellion because I just left a high control Christian cult 3 months ago. I told her I have been considering being trans for 15 years now, and I only made the decision so quick because I've had this desire for many years, and all leaving the cult did was get rid of my fear of shunning and eternal punishment for being trans, making me stop shutting down that "what if I'm trans?" mindset whenever it would come up. She still says I need to slow down and think more carefully about this.

My parents always told me that jesus does not support trans or trans people or they will go to hell

Let me know what you all think

I dived back into my faith hardcore over the last three months, I’m getting baptized soon as well. I’ve completely stopped all hormones and have been living as a straight male since I started giving my life back to God. The dysphoria is still there, it hasn’t gone away and it’s started to show itself in more demonic ways than how it used to which kinda scares me. I wonder if my identity issues is what God has used to bring me back to Him, but why haven’t they gone away. I’ve done my research and came to the conclusion that my reasons for being trans may not allow me to fully transition and I really don’t know if I’m okay with that or not. As of right now I’m just gonna keep waiting. I can still shave my body hair wear the clothes I want at home it’s what I’ve been doing for years. Of course I want more I want breasts, hips, I don’t want to see a masculine body in the mirror, maybe it’s just not in my cards this life time. Idk. Sorry for ranting yall just needed a space to get out of my head

Sign?

How is dresses and skirts and leggings stockings .makeup gay if it was literally originally made for men to me it looks extremely masculine and powerful