u/Olive-jar1173

My sister has been dating her current bf for THREE months and is already talking about getting engaged within the year. A year isn’t crazy but whats crazy to me is that she seems to think that she knows this man well enough to make him her husband already. I am incredibly jealous of the situation. She found someone and i am STRUGGLING in the dating world. So am i crazy to think that this is too much and too fast? Also im not the biggest fan of the guy. It would make me feel better if i thought i wasnt totally crazy. I feel terrible that im so bitter and jealous about the situation. Or is my concern valid?

Also is it weird that she describes him as “perfect”. She says he is perfect all the time. Apparently he is flawless.

30 f. I am going out of town for work in august for two weeks. When i go on these trips i tend to get very bored and lonely during my down time. There is a lot of it. These trips are stressful so i would like to spend my time relaxing but sometimes if i just sit around i get sad and alone or bored and anxious. I do this at home as well but with all of my things snd comforts around me it’s not nearly as bad. Does anyone have some relaxing tips and tricks to combat this ? :/

Here is some more info

I like to read. But i am very picky. A good book would actually be a fantastic cure but honestly there are so many books out there now a days its nearly impossible to find one to ike. The options are overwhelming. Not looking for anything super romantic or emotional. Something exciting maybe a little scary or a good story. My fav books of all time are gone with the wind, the outsiders, harry potter/hunger games, etc

I love tv shows and movies. Fav shows: 1883/yellowstone, the good place, what we do in the shadows, tuca and bertie, south park. Movies: pirates of the Caribbean, the hobbit, national velvet, 21 jumpstreet

Ill be in ocala florida. Yes i will go to the crystal rivers. Love that place.

Ill be in an air bnb

I don’t really have any friends going. Just my boss and some aqua i talked. My dog will he with me luckily so i won’t be totally alone!

I could bring my nintendo switch lite. I have hogwarts legacy and animal crossing. Didnt really enjoy animal crossing that much but maybe i should try and get back into it since thats very relaxing. Any other game suggestions would be appreciated!

Id love any advice ☺️

I was misdiagnosed with herpes. Should i ‘go after’ my obgyn?

I will tell this VERY long story in chronological order.

About a month ago i developed what i thought was a terrible case of eczema. A week goes by and my typical VERY STRONG steroid cream is not working. And the rash is now on my leg butt crack butt
Cheek and outer labia. I didnot want to put steroid cream on my labia so i scheduled an appt with my gyno.

For context this gyno is very…commercial. Think the olive garden of gynos. Not gross or bad by any means but BUSY popular and huge. They get people in and out fast!

I get to the gyno she looks at it. (i want to be as truthful as i can because i feel it’s important but this part is a little fuzzy because i kind of blacked out. She says something along these lines “ooh yeah this looks like herpes.”

I was in complete disbelief and shock. I think i mumbled something like what. She looked at all the rashes and confirmed it was herpes. She was very confident with her answer. So i sit up in disbelief and tell her this.

“I haven’t had sex in 13 years.” this is true. I haven’t had any sexual interaction in 13 years. Im 28 the last time was right before college.

She says something like“mmmmm mhm.” At this point im at a loss for words and blinking at her in shock. I don’t remember what other things were said but i kmow i was visibly disbelieving and shocked. Theres no way i wasnt. Anyway she didn’t seem to care or notice. She prescribes me antivirals and cream (not enough cream which was super annoying but not the point.)

I race out of there because im about to explode into tears and because i honestly don’t believe her at all. It’s impossible that i could have herpes if i literally haven’t had sex in a decade. And the TWO men that i did have sex with that weren’t virgins didn’t have herpes.

Anyway i get to my car and ask chat gbt if this is possible. (Please don’t hound me about the use of chat gbt. I know its bad for the environment but i was panicking and this was a good time to use it.) it essentially says yes it is possible although unlikely. Herpes can lay dormant in your system for many years. It is possible.

At this point i am in pessimism land and completely believe i have it BUT i was not going to accept it fully or disclose that to any future partner unless i have scientific medical evidence. So i call my dermatologist (who i love) crying snd they agree to squeeze me in right away. I go to the derm and have my lady bits looked at for the second time that day. And they took pictures. 😒 Not a fun day.

My dermatologist is not convinced. She takes blood and even takes a biopsy of one of the sites. She believes its shingles or maybe even an allergic reaction to a bug bite. I nod sadly. Im Still in pessimism land and i simply she is trying to make me feel better.

So i get my medication, go home with stitches in my ass, lock my door, and bawl my eyes out for four days. I was devastated. I was already previously struggling hard with the fact that i may never end up finding someone. I just went through a breakup with someone, and my sister got a new boyfriend recently. I was already in the trenches. Devastated is not even an adequate word. The sounds that were coming out of me were mourning. I truly thought my life was over.

After a lot of wallowing i pulled myself together. But while i was in hiding i also began to notice i was actually really sick. I was sleeping for 16+ hours a day. 12 hour nights and 4 hour naps. I was exhausted and just felt not great. My body hurt especially my rashes and the stitches. Also coincidentally i was on my period! SO FUN!

Anyway a week or so goes by. Im starting to feel a bi better. I have an appointment with my primary care physician who is THE BEST PERSON EVER. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. She cares about me, she listens to me. She literally sots there and talks to me like a friend. I can tell she loves her job. She’s the kind of doctor that will order every test under the sun because we should cover it just in case. I am so grateful i found this doctor she is amazing.

Anyway so i get there in. Better frame of mind and still very sure i have herpes. After a lot of time on google i was SURE i had it. The symptoms were uncanny. My rash looked like a text book photo. I must have just been unlucky. Anyway i was really there just because i was A due for a wellness check, B wanted someone to listen to me and care, and C because i was struggling with a hemorrhoid. and let me tell you there was NO WAY INWAS GOING TO HAVE HERPES AND HEMORRHOIDS. NOT. ALLOWED.

So anyway. I arrive at my appointment and the nurse takes my temperature. I have a fever??? I wasn’t surprised. Just another stupid herpes symptom. My primary comes in and does her usual thing. She asks me many questions and actually listens to my answers…

At thr end of it she is also not convinced. She doesn’t even look at the rash yest she is very much not convinced. She even said, and i remember this vividly, “yeah im not convinced this is herpes.” I was like whaaaaaa.

She also mentions shingles. Okay so the possibility of shingles is crazy. I googled it. It is another herpes form but its not an std. YOU HAVE TO HAVE CHICKEN POX WHEN YOU WERE A KID TO GET SHINGLES. I did not have chicken pox. I had the vaccine. I told her all of this. But she encourages me to check out my immunization records.

i was kind of getting a flicker of hope but i still didn’t really believe her. She tells me to keep her updated on the blood and biopsy results. I call my parents from the care and hound them about my past illnesses and immunizations. My mom says i had both chicken pox vaccines. But she does bring up a weird story where ome time me and my sister got eaten alive my mosquitos in okalahoma while we were visiting her sister. We were feverish and sick for a week with spots. I remember this even vividly. I was very sick. According to the Google mosquito bites, even many, don’t usually make one sick unless they get a virus. And that would have made us hospital sick. Also i checked my immunization records. I did have the second vaccine later than normal. Maybe this matters maybe not. Im not sure. Also a friend of mine tells me her sister got shingles even though she had the vaccine as well. So i was like okay maybeeeee.

So i get home and my blood results come back. Not. A. Trace. Of. HSV. Not 1 or 2. Not even a slight indication. My blood test said ZERO. I was dumbfounded. But again not getting my hopes up. I decided to wait for the biopsy.

Biopsy is negative.

I go back to the gyno see a different doctor and DEMAND a full STD STI work up.

EVERYTHING is negative.

Now im pissed.

I was treated so inconsiderately. Herpes is not a death sentence. Not even close. But it does greatly affect a person’s social and sex life. She should NOT have diagnosed me with herpes so easily. She didn’t even look at me for more than a minute. She didn’t ask me questions. She didn’t ask for a follow up. She didn’t do a swab. She didn’t ask me if i wanted to do a swab or blood work. She didn’t even offer me any kindness or reassurance. She didn’t even tell me anything about the virus at all!!! I hadn’t heard or thought about herpes since i was in high school learning about it in health class. For a split second i thought i was dying. I even asked something like that. I don’t remember what she said but it wasn’t with any sort of empathy. Those first few days were some of the worst of my entire life. I will never forget them.

The bed side manner in this situation was atrocious.

Now: i am not asking for medical advice, i am not asking or accepting judgement of my situation, i am not asking whether or not i should be upset. I am
Upset. I have w right to be upset.

I am only asking this:

What should i do to prevent future malpractice and from a situation like this from happening to another girl?

I am angry enough to go after them legally. I have the financial backing and know very good lawyers. Do i have enough evidence to go after them legally? I don’t believe i do. If i cant. What else can be done?

P. S. In case anyone with herpes or was recently diagnosed is reading this, i was mourning but soon, with lots of online support and help from my friends and my mom i realized everything was going to be okay. Herpes is actually not the end of the world. And news flash it’s just a rash. Im sorry if this story upset you but i was in shock. After a week i did soon settle and was very positive with my (mis) diagnosis. It wasn’t the end of the world and after the initial shock period i knew everything was going to be okay. When
I founf out i didn’t have it. I actually wasn’t flooded with relief or even overly happy or excited because it really didn’t matter all that much. Now im just angry at how i was treated by my gyno and how i was put through so much stress and emotional turmoil for no reason at all. All it would have taken was a simple swab or blood test and all of this could have been avoided.

TLRL: i was misdiagnosed by a nurse practitioner with herpes. She didn’t test me at all. She told me i have herpes and that was it. This caused me extreme emotional stress before i found out i was negative for herpes and all STDS.

Hi all.
Two weeks ago, I went to my gynecologist because I thought I had eczema around my genitalia. My gyno took one look at me and told me i had herpes even though i haven’t had sex in ten years. She didn’t swab or do anything to confirm. She prescribed me some antivirals and sent me on my way. I was devastated. I immediately called my dermatologist crying my eyes out and they agreed to see me that day. She looked said she wasn’t convinced, took my blood and did a biopsy. I assumed she was just trying to make me feel better since i was crying in her exam room.

For four days i sat around and came to terms with my situation. After a lot of crying, research, and spending a lot of time on this forum i realized everything was going to be okay. Yes it sucks. Yes i would have to tell potential sexual partners. But at the end of the day after tearing down all the stigma i realized its only a rash.

A few days go by and my blood work comes back. I test negative for both forms of HSV. I was unconvinced. The symptoms were identical to genital herpes. So i wait another week for the biopsy results. Those also came back negative.

At this point im 90% sure its a low form outbreak of shingles that just so happened to appear on my leg buttocks and vulva. I got salmonella earlier in the year then the flu rigt after. I lost thirty pounds and half my hair from the stress my body was under from those illnesses. To say the least my immune system was gassed. After telling my Primary all of this and the fact that i am not sexually active she also believes its shingles. Shingles attacks a single nerve band and can technically appear anywhere. The biopsy came back inconclusive of shingles but did not detect herpes. That along with the blood work i can now safely say i dont have HSV. I will be doing more testing to find out exactly what it is for sure.

When i got another negative back i assumed i would be elated. But to be honest i just kind of shrugged. Because i have come to completely understand that HSV was not the end of my world and it was not a big deal at all. I would have been completely okay if it did turn out to be HSV.

this post is a story, a lesson, and a thank you. Make sure you push your doctors to test you so you can be 100% sure. I am so glad i went to my dermatologist to get blood work done. Dont stand for terrible bed side manner. I will be talking to the gyno practice and contacting them with a lawyer for sever emotional distress. I doubt ill sue but i need them to know that what they did was not okay.

Thank you all! I have never been so supported and cared for by from people i don’t even know. The love and support was overwhelming. It helped me get through those first few distressing days. I cannot thank you all enough.

This forum is so important because HSV is a hard topic for a lot of people to discuss. I will be leaving this group but i just want to encourage you all to continue to support and reassure one another. I never would have been okay if it wasn’t for this group. Each of you is a blessing.

For those that don’t know this yet. HSV is not the end of the world. Everything will be okay. You re not gross or dirty. You are not unworthy or unlovable. You deserve happiness and you can and will find it just like everyone else.

You are all so wonderful and beautiful. God bless you all. I know that you all have amazing futures ahead of you. ❤️

I hate the demiguise moons. Oml. That is the most boring mission ever for a very desired spell. The second i receive the quest I look up every Demi guys’s moon, location and power through the entire quest.

It’s so annoying that you can only find them at night. It’s so annoying that you need to find so many to get Alohomora three. It’s so annoying that if you like go to a village and go through it loot and then run into a level three lock. You have to go back to that village to unlock the level three lock after you get level three. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ its the worst thing ever. 😂😂😂

And on top of that mr. Moon is so ANNOYING!

I’ve heard people say that it can predict the flu and a cold, so I was wondering if it’s possible that it can predict an outbreak before it happens. Then you can start antivirals before you even have any symptoms. Has anyone given it a try or have one? I have been wanting to get one anyway so I’ll try it out and report back to you guys if it helps!

This is just kind of like a laugh at ones misery and also look at how insane life can be story.

So when i was a kid there was a large group of my parents friends whose kids i knew at the country club in our neighborhood. We all took sports together and swam at the pool and had summer bbqs.

Anyway there was this one kid who was always kind if an ass to me. Like classic annoying little boy who had way to much energy and just like pushed me around snd pestered me.

Fast forward 20 years later and we are both living in a totally different state snd close by. He hits me up and asks me out. We ended up dating for a couple months but i broke it off because i wasn’t attracted to him enough. Nothing actually wrong with him i just wasn’t into it :/

Anyway break up fast forward a week or so later… i get diagnosed with genital herpes. Now for context we didn’t have sex. I actually haven’t had sex for 10+ years. The guy that gave it to me gave it to me likely through a cold sore when we were both young and dumb. It laid dormant for OVER TEN YEARS!!! never had a symptom once. What finally brought it on was when i got salmonella then started vaping. That combo caused me to loose hair and finally have an outbreak.

Anyway. Tonight he texts me he misses me. While i am laying i my bed with cream all over my ass and lady bits trying to dry out while also free bleeding on a towel from my period…. 🙃

Its just like so surreal. Im was dating this kid that i knew from my childhood who i was convinced hated me. Now he misses me and two days ago i got diagnosed with herpes.

I saw a meme the other day that said. Of you told your Younger self what your life is like right now they would call you a lair.

Yes. Yes i would.

I posted in r/women when i first found out yesterday. The amount of positivity was overwhelming. I am very grateful to everyone that commented. They really made me feel like it was going to be okay.

But the positivity was so overwhelming i felt like maybe they were just trying to cheer me up. Is it true? Can people really find people that are okay with the person they’re dating having herpes? Please PLEASE share some experiences if you have some. Its so hard to believe. Honestly after learning so much about it i wouldn’t care if it was the other way around. But i cant imagine it for me. Maybe its because i hate myself so much right now. Maybe it’s because i don’t completely trust men to be so understanding.

I have a lot of anxiety. And right now my anxiety is telling me you are gross no one will possibly love you or he okay with this. And i hate myself for believing myself but i cant help it.

Obviously I’m still grieving. Im 24 hrs post news.

For those that don’t know thats genital herpes. I have no idea how this happened. They haven’t had sex for 10 years. I guess it can lay door in your body, but this is still insane to me. I’m already struggling with the fact that I might not find anybody ever and now this is just another thing I have to add to that. It really scares me. I feel super disgusting and horrible. I literally just found out like 20 minutes ago. I’m sitting in my car crying. Does anybody have any advice? Or words of wisdom? I dont know what to do. I’m scared no one will ever want to be with me again. Im scared to tell people about it but i know i have to. Im really sad and scared. I dont know what im doing.

I (f29) am dating a guy (29). Who i know with 100% certainty is all around a good guy. Good husband and father material. He’s honestly perfect for me… but I’m just… not that into him. We’ve only been dating a couple months.

Should i keep trying? Has anyone stuck it out and it worked out in the long run?

I feel like if i break up with him i am blowing my chance at happiness. I dont want to be alone and dating is nearly impossible these days. I feel like if i let him go i will fail and be alone forever.

Edit: you’re*

Edit: please please be kind. I am trying my best. I have a lot of anxiety in general and about this situation in particular. I want to give him a fair chance but at the same time i dont want to waste either of our time. Please be kinder with your comments. You don’t know how words can affect someone. Also we have only been dating for TWO MONTHS!