u/Organic-Calendar-827

Maryland, USA.

The company started going through financial hardship and started paying us through Zelle from the owner’s personal bank account or with a company check.

They’re paying me my net pay (after taxes) so they should be paying my taxes to the IRS. How can I ask for proof of that? A coworker had to pay thousands last year for his taxes because supposedly they didn’t pay for his taxes. I don’t want to go through the same issue.

My boss yells at my coworkers pretty regularly, especially the male employees. He has yelled at me a handful of times too, although not nearly as much as he does at them. Either way, I feel like there shouldn’t be screaming or cursing at employees in a professional workplace.

He gets extremely upset over things that don’t seem like a big deal and will start cursing/yelling.

Today, he was talking to the accountant about payroll and complaining that we couldn’t “wait until next week” to get paid. I’m one of the employees waiting to get paid. He saw me and said “bitches” while talking about us, like it was a joke. I honestly didn’t know what to make of it.

The other day I was talking to a coworker, and my boss was standing between us, closer to me. He got upset about something and suddenly slapped his computer extremely hard like we had to take a pause from talking because wtf was that. It startled me. He’s also in his 70s.

Are a lot of architecture firms like this?

I’m a young architect and a mom, and I’m at a crossroads.

My current employer has offered me an opportunity that many architects never get. It’s the kind of experience that could really make me grow professionally. Even my boss joked that I’d have to “give my baby away” because I’d have no free time.

The opportunity is exciting, but I don’t think it’s worth it when I have a 1 year old at home, and I would have to be traveling.

I’ve already been considering moving to a company that offers more flexibility, ideally with the option to work remotely a couple of days a week. I love architecture and I’m passionate about growing in my career, but I also want to be a present mom even if that means have to sacrifice my career. I miss my daughter during the day, and I don’t want to look back years from now wishing I’d spent more time with her.

At the end of the day, I choose my baby every single time. That part isn’t even a question for me.
But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt to walk away from such an incredible opportunity. It’s hard knowing that something so valuable for my career may not come around again.

I’d love to hear from parents that have been in a similar situation…

EDIT: Thank you everyone for giving me the courage to leave 😭 like I said- I choose my daughter every single time. The title of this post was written that way to catch people’s attention. I just needed courage. THANK YOU!!!

What’s the hardest and easiest age to work from home with a child?

I regret getting such an expensive camara and having the shittiest overall experience. I’m doing the paid version and it’s still so shitty.

We have a 4 year old Doberman who was living with my parents for the past year. He is now living with us (again) and out almost one year old.

I feel like I have developed some postpartum pet aversion… and I don’t know if that’s the reason but I don’t feel comfortable with our baby crawling on the same floors that our Doberman walks on…

Have you had this issue? Does your dog and baby share spaces? Does your baby get sick? New mom here…

We have a 4 year old Doberman who was living with my parents for the past year. He is now living with us (again) and out almost one year old.

I feel like I have developed some postpartum pet aversion… and I don’t know if that’s the reason but I don’t feel comfortable with our baby crawling on the same floors that our Doberman walks on…

Have you had this issue? Does your dog and baby share spaces? Does your baby get sick? New mom here…

EDIT:

I do have to add, my Doberman licks until his skin gets raw, he’s currently on medicine en getting better, the vet said we shouldn’t worry about it as the fungus is under the skin, and his bacteria has gotten down tremendously since he started taking the medicine, but I worry that my baby could develop skin issues because of this 😭 like I said he’s getting better but not fully healed yet

When I was 7 months pregnant I got this huge urge to get rid of our dog… he licks to the point he bleeds and you can see his raw skin… we’ve tried EVERYTHING- please don’t try to give suggestions, as we probably already tried it. We’ve spent so much money in vets and he always ends up licking and getting infections/fungus. I didn’t want a dog like that near my newborn so I was going to give him away but my mom decided to take him in.

A year later (now), my husband and I buy a house and my mom asked me to pick up our dog asap. He destroyed so much stuff in her house, (he’s 4) so she wanted him out. He still licks, my husband took him to the vet twice this month. I want to get rid of him again, I get the ick by just walking on the floor… he’s so needy and the infectious paws are what send me.

I don’t want for our daughter to get sick because of that, she will soon start walking and will want to touch him and I can’t let her do that with our dog’s raw paws.

Is this normal? I don’t hate him, but I also don’t want him with us. I feel like our life would be so much easier without him. I feel bad but at the same time I would have much more mental peace if he’s gone.

My mom watches our daughter during the week, I stay at her house because I don’t wanna come home and see our dog. I was so happy when we got our house but now it’s the place where I’m the most stressed, I feel like everything is dirty… I feel like I’m going crazy.

I just graduated and started working at a firm full time so I can get my hours, but honestly I hate barely seeing my babies during the week. By the time I get home, the day is basically over and it’s been hitting me hard emotionally that I barely saw my babies.

I just wish I could at least see my kids for a few more hours throughout the day instead of feeling completely disconnected from them Monday-Friday.

For moms in architecture: how are you balancing this career with motherhood? Are there alternatives that still let you get your hours? Is it realistic to find WFH or hybrid jobs in architecture, especially early in your career?

My long-term goal is maybe working independently for more flexibility once I’m licensed, but right now I’m trying to survive this stage without feeling like I’m missing my babies grow up.

Would really appreciate honest advice from people who’ve been through this.

Location: Virginia

That’s it. That’s the question. I want to know is someone is being cheated on. Thanks.