i feel as if god himself intervened to save me
so ive had this addiction for a while and ive tried a couple of times to quit only making a few days before relapsing
this time However i made a much more serious decision to quit than ever before previously i always decided to quit when i was already done and was level headed this time i was already dealing with the urge when i decided to quit
learned an important lesson it might have been sexual urges that starts the pattern but its always anxiety/hopelessness that triggers the relapse
so today after a much longer streak than ever before without even looking at any illicit stuff and day starting with stress and depression. compulsion was there from the beginning couldn't focus on anything my mind kept going back i broke down got my screen got into the position and even then tried to distract myself as long as i possibly by watching pointless shit but i was eventually about to lose so i started looking up stuff
and the moment i was about to my internet crashed only for a couple of minutes but it was long enough to get up do some streaches and minimum workout by the time it started working again i got outside and went for a hike
and there it is can focus on work again and no more urges for a while