So impressed with Teresa's look for the gilded age party. I think she was the best dressed of the night. Her hair and jewels and dress. She just did it right! Kudos to her stylist because I don't think she had a clue. But she's not usually the one I think is among the best dressed at any event so I wanted to give her props for this one!
I have a very firm base and grammar and syntax because I've been exposed to Hebrew and studying it on and off since I was in preschool. I actually went to preschool briefly in israel. I also spent a year abroad there and visited grandparents there and spent about 6 months 30 years ago living and working in israel.
But my vocabulary is extraordinarily Rusty and basic.
I'm probably going to go back in the next couple of months to visit some family and I would really like to refresh my vocabulary beyond the basics.
I actually would like to do some kind of online course but I need something to start at a much higher level than like Duolingo.
I can already read Hebrew without vowels.
I need to review verb construction for some forms and a huge vocabulary review.
Any suggestions of resources that would help me get up to speed fast?
(I have watched Israeli movies and TV shows with the subtitles on but purposes of really catching what I want to learn I think I need to study some.)
Just very bad tonight. Worse than it's been in a long time.
No trigger that I can find.
Just the alter that holds these awful feelings is very forward.
I'm not concerned we'll act on it. We never have before. She never has control of the body.
But she absolutely floods us with the most painful feelings, and awful thoughts.
I just needed to tell someone tonight and not feel so alone.
I just want to say how much I'm enjoying seeing Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell ALL over all my social media feeds.
Between joint interviews, cross promotion of their work, and great new photoshoots.
I am hoping they completely replace the it couple energy of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively who we are all SO over.
Rhys and Russell are so much more classy, intelligent, entertaining, and talented!
Edited to add: highly amused at all the people who are are getting so disgruntled about a passing observation I'm making having to do with which celebrities are getting what kind of attention in the media.
People taking it all kinds of personally and reading so much into it.
The reality is that Reynolds and Lively years of media attention as a gorgeous and popular celebrity couple. And then Lively chose to pursue legal action against Justin baldoni and she is yet to be vindicated about it. But the ensuing attention has really taken the luster off the bloom.
I was simply sharing my delight that I thought a much more worthy and talented pair of human beings to our actors and married to one another we're getting their share of media attention. And I thought this Sub in particular would share the joy they were getting the attention they deserved.
Passing observation of a random stranger on the internet seems to have really gotten a bunch of people's panties in a wad such that some of them feel the need to leave this sub.
Whatever!
I just love it when warm loving talented people get their moment in the spotlight
People kept saying avoid swimming in murky water. I would love a definition of what murky water is. Because aside from places in the Caribbean, and along the Indian Ocean / Kenyan coast, I've never been in waters you could actually see through. I've been to the beach in Northern Cali, the mid Atlantic, and both coasts Florida and the water has always seemed murky to me by default.
It is so hard to find a competent therapist who can handle cptsd and structural dissociation.
I know everyone has poured over the psychology today listings in the US and the ISSTD listings.
I am a member of another health community online in different forums for parents of kids with PANS/PANDAS. Which is another crazily controversial condition. You have experts at Johns Hopkins saying there's no such thing, and that you have universities like Stanford which have whole clinics devoted to diagnosis and research.
In the pans / pandas community there is a lot of sharing of information about the handful of doctors around the country in different specialties that can diagnose and treat these kids for different conditions.
What you think about starting an informal directory of mental health professionals that people have had *positive* experiences with. People could enter the information anonymously. I could create a Google doc that just gathered the most basic information about the clinician but everyone on that list would be someone that somebody hadn't actually helpful positive experience with.
Doesn't matter where in the world.
What do you think?
Yes I know you can still go into a 7-Eleven and get a slurpee. And they actually recently brought back the original Coke flavor which was always my favorite.
HOWEVER I have yet to find a slurpee machine in the last 20 years that delivers an actually Frozen slurpee.
You actually used to need to use the little spoon on the end of the straw until it started to melt.
Now every time I go into a 7-Eleven for a little nostalgic sweetness I start to pour it out and end up dumping it because it's way too thin. Never holds it shape for that nice little swirl on top.
I'm Gen x, cis mom to a young adult trans daughter ( as well as a couple of young adults cis) daughters. I worry everyday about the s*** hole world we're leaving young people.
And every time I see a post from this Reddit my heart just swells with joy and pride and love and hope.
It makes me so happy that each and every one of you exists.
I'm so proud of you all. I think you all are so courageous and so beautiful and true heroes.
You make the world a better place by just existing.
I love you all.
Sad and lonely today. Wish I had some local friends that I could unmask with and just sit with. Spouse is overwhelmed with work 7 days a week right now. I hardly eat unless he's around to cook, but I just made myself a smoothie, so that a small win.
Wishing everyone an ok day and some small wins of your own.
Starting to work through this book
I realized that even though I've been in talk therapy for decades for major depression and trauma I've actually had very little support or therapy around stage 1 did healing: grounding and stabilizing.
So I did a bunch of research on resources and I decided to try this one.
I'm very impressed with it and the authors are the top did clinicians and researchers in the United States.
The authors are very clear that people can work through this book alone without a therapist, but that it is of course best if you are working through the book while at the same time working with a trauma therapist. Though your therapist doesn't have to be using the book with you.
I just wanted to share the resource because I took the risk and spent the $35 on it and I think it's exactly what I need and will be worth some money.
But also: if there's anyone else interested in working through the book as well, I would be willing to set up a format where we could touch base once a week as accountability partners and peer support.
Feel free to reach out.
Cross posting this with one other did sub.
"The finding solid ground program workbook; Overcoming obstacles in trauma recovery"
I realized that even though I've been in talk therapy for decades for major depression and trauma I've actually had very little support or therapy around stage 1 did healing: grounding and stabilizing.
So I did a bunch of research on resources and I decided to try this one.
I'm very impressed with it and the authors are the top did clinicians and researchers in the United States.
The authors are very clear that people can work through this book alone without a therapist, but that it is of course best if you are working through the book while at the same time working with a trauma therapist. Though your therapist doesn't have to be using the book with you.
I just wanted to share the resource because I took the risk and spent the $35 on it and I think it's exactly what I need and will be worth some money.
But also: if there's anyone else interested in working through the book as well, I would be willing to set up a format where we could touch base once a week as accountability partners and peer support.
Feel free to reach out.
Cross posting this with one other did sub.
BACKGROUND:
25 yrs of therapy for major depression; one hospitalization 15 yrs ago changed my diagnosis to DDNOS, then saw a specialist in DID for 5 yrs. After a terrible therapeutic rupture with her, took a break from therapy for a few years. Last 7 years worked with a somatic therapist with a specialization in trauma and parts work. 3 years ago, DID became evident and I worked with a DID specialist for 6 months then return to my previous somatic/trauma therapist because my system did not trust the DID specialist enough to make any progress.
The last 3 years I've been entirely non-functional as I've been going through this therapy. My most competent altars that ran my life for 50 plus years have stepped back to allow a lot of healing and growth to happen elsewhere in the system.
I'm extraordinary lucky that I have spouse of 30 years who has been patient and committed and non judgmental and willing to learn and grow with me.
THE ISSUE NOW
We are finally empty nesters essentially. Working on our marriage together and wonderful ways, making huge progress and understanding myself. And he's being very very supportive in making life changes that the deepest parts of my system have wanted my whole life.
I finally have a loving partner who wants to help me build my best life.
He's loving, my therapist is wonderful, I'm starting to feel actual needs and wants for the first time in my life
AND NOW IM JUST FROZEN. for weeks and weeks.
All I can do is sleep and play mindless phone games and binge watch stupid TV and horror movies.
The only thing that's in my way to creating a life of my dreams is myself.
I simply cannot figure out which parts of my system are resisting being happy and why they would.
I've gotten flashes of some very angry parts showing up in therapy that I'm not familiar with. Parts that seem to want to do harm to other parts in the system.
Do any of you all have any insights as to why parts of my system would be so stuck? So obviously committed to me not having the life I want that they just keep me completely shut down in frozen?
I just don't understand it.
I was doing a deep scroll on Amazon prime tonight and came across the most delicious enjoyable movie featuring Matthew Rhys called Scapegoat.
Trust me, you will LOVE it.
That's it really. After several difficult weeks of deep conversations with therapist, partner, and within our system, conversations that marked real progress and opened a path to some possibility of greater peace and happiness suddenly everything .... Stopped....
Woke up in freeze state again, with our placeholder altar. Didn't get out of bed for second day in row, all i want to do is sleep and when we open the floor for real communication inside there is such a pulse of pain and self loathing.... The the kind we don't remember feeling in decades and decades since our teens and early twenties....
When will this stop feeling like one step forward, 2 steps back?
And why would my system self-sabotage now?
I keep seeing people's theories about PJ and I had a conversation with a friend who loves her yesterday and we talked about all the Easter eggs and references in the show to other horror and horror adjacent media and she said PJ was just shaggy from Scooby-Doo and now I can't stop seeing it.
Well acted, very enjoyable period piece. Properly haunting and an unexpected ending.
It's very rare that I watch a movie and want to rewatch immediately but this one is like that.
My last memory was a horrific wail as house trembled and blood bubbled back up.
Foxes and fawns and baby skunks and possums etc...
Social media has helped fuel this trend where everyone thinks they're a freaking Disney Princess or Jungle Boy.
Creating generations of corvids and racoons (both of which are rather intelligent) to expect food and interaction from humans is a recipe for disaster for them.
Handing juvenile animals simply because they're cute and approachable is dangerous for them and you.
If you truly love animals, respect your distance.
Admire from afar. Plant native flora. Preserve and protect our undeveloped lands and our parks.
But stop trying to live a cartoon fantasy.
Re watched (for the umpteenth time) tonight to show it to my 19 yo daughter
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SUCH a great script.
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Surprised (and disappointed) to learn it really was the only script by the lead writer.
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One of the writers also worked on High Fidelity and Cusack has a writing credit on both of them too.
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Anyway. Just wondered what the folks here think about the script and what other movies you'd recommend with a similar written vibe.