u/Panos55

I was first exposed to it through Tik tok 3-4 years ago and at first I thought it was a cringey trend.

However because I was unemployed and chronically online I ended up spending a lot of time watching Tik tok an about mogging and stuff like that to the point that I started becoming self consistent of my appearance.

It started with me wanting to loose the 30-40 pound I gained during Covid to currently picking apart all my perceived or actual flaws and comparing myself with better looking more successful(romantically) friends

Now I am at a point where I look at my reflection everywhere I can from mirrors to my phone screen to car windows and glass panels.

I have also probably posted my face on appearance related subreddits hundreds of times at this point in the hopes that I will get some validation and advice on how to fix what I see as a hideous face

I guess the point of this post is that this trend can be extremely damaging to people’s self esteem and especially those like me who have been bullied in the past and/or have have close relatives who are diagnosed with ocd/anxiety

So 3 years ago I was exposed to looksmaxxing for the first time through tik tok and since then I have been obsessing over my appearance

It has gotten to the point where I have posted myself hundreds of times on r/amiuglybrutallyhonest and r/lookamaxxing.

My posts usually don’t get any traction but eneb when I do get a slightly positive comment I will completely disregard it and focus on the negative/neutral ones.

I also take pictures of myself daily as well as look at my reflection on anything from mirrors, to windows and glass panels.

I genuinely don’t know how to stop and would really appreciate any advice

So during Covid I gained lots of weight(around 30-35 pounds in 4 months) and because of that I started being treated differently by others namely my friends and some teachers since I was still in high school.

To put it simply I was either invisible to those who I met for the first time or didn’t know very well and/or I was made fun of by strangers with the usual “my friend like you and wants your number etc”

Since then I have lost all that weight and started putting more effort in my appearance specifically clothing and general grooming/hygiene and the difference is pretty drastic

What made me loose the weight was a combination of seeing myself and how bloated I looked in a photo as well as being exposed to looksmaxxing through Tik tok

Through my experiences I realised just how much the halo effect can affect someone’s daily life and in turn this has made more understanding towards those who are deemed unattractive and don’t fit into modern western beauty standards

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I will say though that this has also had a negative e on me as the difference in treatment that I experienced from almost everyone during those years has also made me hyper aware of my appearance and at times very self critical due to flaws I believe I have

Basically I am very harsh on my self but more understanding and I would say compassionate towards others

Preferably not romance and set in Italy Spain Greece and France though I am open to other countries as well

So I am a dude in my early 20’s and have zero romantic experience with women.

The reasons for this are probably multiple but I have convinced myself that it’s because I am hideous.

For a bit of background during Covid I gained 30-40 pounds and didn’t take care of my appearance at all.

This continued for a couple of years until I decided to loose the weight and actually try to look presentable.

The thing is though that during that period I was completely invisible to women and now I am the only dude from my friend group who hasn’t even kissed a girl.

This fact has taken a heavy toll on my mental health as now my appearance and specifically my face,ears and stretch marks is all I can think about.

I take multiple pics of my self daily,look at my reflection on windows,car mirrors and basically any reflective surface I can think of.

I have also posted myself on lots of appearance related subreddits to get feedback and criticism on my appearance to become desirable

The real root of the issue though is that I feel as if I will never have any worth as a romantic partner dues to my ugliness and inexperience because in my mind there always be someone more attractive and experienced