u/PathlessFool

i may be interested in learning this instrument! i have no idea what a decent one would cost.

i know from other instruments that it'd probably be good to invest in a decent one, as the joy of playing on a good instrument will help me stick to it.

what would a good starting point be? and is it advisable to buy 2nd hand?

EDIT: i live in europe, holland.

so i've been troubleshooting with claude the AI for 3 hours total. still isn't working. ready to throw in the towel on this function.

anyone else had this issue before and if so what did you do to fix it?

the thing is: the notification comes through it just doesnt wake up the screen. like, if i turn on the screen then there it is.

this is actually a really important function for me. manually setting actual alarms for every appointment is not something i want to do. and i dont want a phone on me all the time.

i turn on bluetooth and connect to my phone to sync new events in added on my phones calendar, then i turn off the connection and turn on airplane mode. i dont want any notifications on my wrist, other than appointments, alarms and timers.

am i the captain of this ship

or does she conceive me

am i the child, birthed from the womb of the hull?

perhaps i am both

\

i cannot effort and will this ship into movement, change, harmony

oh how i’ve tried

i’ve armwrestled with unruly crewmembers

tried to tame some of us

rushed those in darkness out into the light

tyrants and slaves, architects and rebels, thieves and smugglers, jesters and bards, cooks and cripples. wise elders and younguns. wolves black and white, some grey too. all of us, members. some dont know yet how thoroughly we all belong here. how sorely our unique contributions, perspectives, roles, were and are needed, for our continued survival, protection, and thriving.

\

i can be receptive

get to know my crew, these members

they leave a trail, some proof of their existence

some i havent seen yet, in full daylight

some i am not meant to see yet, in full daylight

their shadows i catch glimpses of in the corner of my eyes

\

i like to think that my maps show the way

thats how i act, at least

but when i look back through my logs

maps changed, were lost, were remade, have shown me the wrong way

\

north stars, compasses and lighthouses

inherited

some are false

some are true

through the art of subtraction i have found the true north

not this, not that, not this, not that.

yet

even my true north

may be held lightly

only a foolish man believes his guides won’t ever change

\

as we sail on, the sun shines patiently

so must i learn the art of patience, if im ever worthy of the title ‘’captain’’

as the sun teaches me,

i hold this vigil, this hearth, steady.

i keep it fed

as it shines forth and warms

for whomever of me, comes,

long lost sons of the soul,

on their own time

their own rhythm

of their own volition and sovereign self-will

\

and so it is.

spirits of freedom and love are we

\

as we sing

the steady drum drones

fire and ice

steel and rose

rise sons rise, gather amongst yourselves

let go, let in, go through, amongst brothers

be guided, guide

informed by soma and shadow

lead from receptive attunement

call forth

call forth

be beckoned

be beckoned

hold no agenda

agendas are up the stargods

hold your agenda, lightly

may it be in relationship to the evershifting flux of reality

open your hands, child

sway

sway

sway.

sing in the otherworldy tongues of music youve always known

your voice

your true voice

let her conceive you

she always already does, is it not so?

be birthed, allow

be newborn, allow

forms and manifestations

death and life

the Tao is here

sway in wu-wei

in waves of selves

\\\

Thank you for reading. i hope my work resonates and spreads some joy, love or understanding. much love, happy healing

hello friends. hoping to get some suggestions.

my phone is on its last breath. was a galaxy s10+ that's served me well.

im now in the market for a new phone.

i have around 200 euro to spend.

i'm by no means a power user. would like something reliable however. will get an otterbox or a UAG case, or something durable like that. was looking at the samsung Note 20, around 200 euro second hand where i am. i like samsung, but not particularly attached to that brand.

do you have any suggestions?

hello friends. hoping to get some suggestions.

my phone is on its last breath. was a galaxy s10+ that's served me well.

im now in the market for a new phone.

i have around 200 euro to spend.

i'm by no means a power user. would like something reliable however. will get an otterbox or a UAG case, or something durable like that. was looking at the samsung Note 20, around 200 euro second hand where i am. i like samsung, but not particularly attached to that brand.

do you have any suggestions?

(im from the netherlands)

I’ve been doing IFS with a therapist for around 2,5 years now. In the beginning i felt a lot of urgency. i felt like i had to understand all my parts and how they worked. give them names, make a mindmap, identify everyone, etcetera. i binged on IFS podcasts, reading reddit, trying to figure out how to unburden.

what i didnt realize, is that i was completely blended with self-like parts and intellectual manager parts. my inner critic had learned IFS language. so not being in Self was a reason for feeling shame, or inferiority, that i wasn’t doing it right. then self-like parts stepped in, trying to be very self-y. hahah. how i look at it now: a teenager with a superman cape or a buddha costume, trying very hard to be loving. a parentified child, needing to save the world…

i dont know if ive unburdened anyone, let alone exiles. what i have been cultivating, is the spaciouss willingness, to sit with my protectors. not asking them to change their ways, but offering them recognition, understanding, gratitude, love. and the interesting thing is, that helps them already relax a bit. lower their guard. for me to see in how much pain and scarcity they are.

i still have self-like parts step in here, managers trying to DO love, haha. what i can now do, is see that. and thank them, for they’re trying so hard to be of service. its beautiful and tragic, bittersweet, and often brings me to tears. when i thank them, truly, not as a strategy, then they do relax, and i have contact once more with the more tender, younger part, a core exile i think. i then ask inwardly, would you like to be held? a sad yes bubbles up. i place a hand on my heart and belly, and what happens next is so wholesome: i feel as if i am 3 years old, resting my head on the lap of a parent figure (me). i feel held, met, recognized. then i start crying, but then: my protectors freak out. their perception still is that the grief and deprevation is a bottomless well. what helps, is to set a timer of 5 minutes for this. then my protectors know, that this isnt endless, its boundaried, its temporary.

there’s a curious thing that can happen in the name of love: a subtle violence, a subtle coercion. unconditional love, doesnt ask anything to be different than it is. it just wants to be with it, and wishes it peace (without expecting it to be peaceful!)

my buddhist practice has been of immense value to me. offering metta, or loving-kindness and allowing, to my parts. ‘’may you be at ease’’. but that only works if its said from a true place, that doesnt want any part to be different than it is. if i have an agenda, like ‘’im gonna wish you well, so that i can meet what youre protecting’’ then again, theres a subtle expectation, aka, a non-acceptance.

so, thank you for reading, hope some of this was useful. much love, much metta, happy healing <3

-jari

PS: yes, there are manager parts active while writing this post, performing recovery, hoping to get kudos and be told ‘’good boy’’: ‘’you succeed at the project of healing’’. haha. i like to think those needs for recognition are human, and that its okay to be where i am at. still performing, still needy for recognition. my inner child does not yet fully trust self as the source of safety, so i look for outside sources to affirm my worth. we are relational beings after all, i dont think that will ever change. maybe in a few years, ill be okay with getting no single upvote, no single ‘’this touched me, thank you’’. i think id still, even in a few years, would really like to hear my words resonate, but maybe the question ‘’am i worthy’’ wont fully hinge on receiving recognition, resonance.. will keep you posted.

PPS: the ego is inventive. i do notice it can even have the agenda to have no agenda. LOL, and make that into a new standard it needs to live up to.

PPPS: a friend shared this poem with me, when i shared about the ego hijacking the state of love and making it into an optimazition project:

“The roses under my window make no reference to former roses or better ones; they are what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence.”