consequences of my own actions
i was never someone who enjoyed posting alot on instragram or even pretend to be someone i was def not, back in my high school due to constant pressure from my frnds i made an acc and by the end of my high school ( 2023 jan ) i found my childhood frnd there ( he was my neighbour and we would go to the same schl but during covid he moved out to diff location ) i initiated the convo and luckily it was his bday so i posted a story and thats how we started talking and infact started dating like ok we were kids i was 15 at that time he was 14 and it was our first rs like for both of us. but in jan 2024 i broke up w him because he used to be sooo freaking busy idk why and stopped talking to him and got to know 3 months later he started dating someone else and i was ok w it but feb 2025 he contacted me to wish all the best for my exam we started talking and agreed to be frnds
the whole march and april we didnt much but during may and half of june he was in saudi for hajj ( hes a muslim and am hindu ) and he treated me soooo nice etc but idk what happened a few days back he said talking to girls is haram etc so he will contact me once in a while. i feel like deleting instragram again bcz he was the reason i made my acc, i keep getting the nostalgia of may and the time when he wasnt w me and i used to be so carefree and happy like rn whenever i open insta am anxious if he texted or not and yea his last text was so fucking rude. im so lost atp no matter what i do hes on my mind and i cant stop crying meanwhile looks like he doesnt give a fuck.
im unable to enjoy the creators i once loved, the food, the hobbies, the games etc everything. i dont even feel like laughing
