u/PrettyLyttlePsycho

31M in a relationship for 3 months.

I last spoke to my girlfriend on Friday night, and she just got back to me on Monday morning.

It's not uncommon that we go a day or two without texting, but that's different than someone not responding.

I tried contacting her multiple times and got no answer.

I started getting pretty worried as she has supraventricular tachycardia and had a bad episode last weekend.

So I contacted her best friend this morning, and now I feel stupid.

Turns out she misplaced her phone at her workplace (which is on the other side of town) and had to go get it today.

It's a plausible explanation, but I feel like she could have let me know via messenger or something — she has a tablet.

Am I stupid for worrying?

TL;DR: Girlfriend din't contact me for almost 3 days because she lost her phone.

First of all, sorry for the long post.
My family and I have always been very close. We talk on the phone 2–3 times a week and see each other about twice a month. They live around 2 hours away from us.
I (30F) and my husband (31M) have been together for 15 years. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. My parents were extremely strict when we were teenagers and put a lot of rules on our relationship. Because of that, my husband developed a lot of resentment toward them. I was angry too at the time, but as I got older, I understood that they were trying to protect me, even if they didn’t always go about it the right way. I eventually forgave them.
When I turned 18, I moved to the United States with my husband and we got married. My family would visit us every year and stay for about a month at a time, and everything was always fine.
About four years ago, they moved closer to us, about two hours away, and that’s when my husband seemed to completely change. He stopped wanting to spend time with them, said my family was annoying, and claimed that I acted like a child whenever I was around them.
We had our son almost two years ago, and things have gotten even worse since then. There were some disagreements here and there, but nothing major. Then one day, my husband decided to completely cut off contact with my family. He said he couldn’t do it anymore and didn’t want any involvement with them.
I accepted his decision. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and for the sake of our son, I chose to stay married and focus on raising our child together. It’s been over a year and a half since my husband has seen my parents. Occasionally he’ll see one of my siblings if they spend a weekend with me, but that’s it.
I don’t talk about my parents anymore. I don’t bring them up. They’ve basically become a taboo subject in our house.
The problem is that everything related to them turns into a fight.
For example, today was Father’s Day. I posted an Instagram story wishing my husband a Happy Father’s Day. Right after that, I posted a photo of my son with my dad wishing my dad a Happy Father’s Day too. My husband became furious. We were at the park having a picnic, and the moment he saw it, he packed everything up and left.
What’s frustrating is that on Mother’s Day, he did the exact same thing. He posted a picture of me and then posted one of his own mother. I had absolutely no problem with that.
At this point, I’m exhausted. We drove home in silence and haven’t spoken since. These situations are happening more and more often.
For the past two months, he’s been sleeping in the guest room. We only talk about practical things or things that interest him.
Other than the hatred he seems to have toward my parents, he’s honestly a great husband. He’s financially responsible, has always taken very good care of me, and is a wonderful provider.
I don’t know what to do. Our son is about to turn two. I’m not working, and I’m terrified of getting divorced and not being able to support myself. My husband has always been the provider, and even when I worked, the difference between our incomes was huge.
On top of that, we genuinely enjoy the same things and our personalities are very compatible. But sometimes I feel like his anger toward my parents is stronger than his love for me.
I know my parents aren’t perfect, but I thought that accepting his decision to cut them out of his life would be enough for our marriage to improve. Instead, it seems like it isn’t enough. It feels like no matter how much space I give him, the resentment keeps growing.
Part of me feels that getting divorced would be throwing away 15 years of our lives. I still see potential in our relationship, but potential alone isn’t enough.
What do you think?

EDIT: Everyone is saying that something is missing. It’s too long of a story, but I’ll try to fill in some gaps.
Back in 2021, we went through a hard phase in our marriage. I wasn’t happy in our relationship because of the way he treated me. I remember saying I was emotionally drained. I was the only one trying to make amends, trying to talk. He’s the quiet and silent type, and I felt crazy for wanting more—for wanting to live and experience things. He’s loyal, good-looking, responsible, and really wanted to have a family, but I was unhappy.
He changed. He treated me better, tried to communicate, and was putting in effort for the first time. I wasn’t really buying it, but I was scared of divorcing without a reason other than being unhappy and emotionally drained.
Then my dad got a work opportunity that would allow him to live close to us, about two hours away from where we live. I was so happy to have my family around that I gave my relationship another chance.
My husband didn’t like that at all. He didn’t want my family to be here and asked me to tell them to wait longer until we figured out our marriage. I talked to my family about us going through a hard phase, but if my dad didn’t accept the job, they would choose someone else. So they came—my mom, dad, brother, and sister—and stayed in our house for about three weeks in 2022 until they found a place to live and moved to their city.
My husband hated the idea of them being here and was indifferent toward them most of the time. I was walking on eggshells, trying to give my family attention and be happy they were here, while also trying to stay close to my husband and meet his needs.
Those three weeks were hell. And mind you, I had wanted to divorce not long before that, but I went through all of it trying to make everyone happy.
My parents moved, and they were really busy trying to adapt, learn the language, start a new job, and build a life here. My husband’s relationship with my parents changed. He said they were disrespectful for coming to live here, that we were happy by ourselves, and that we didn’t need them.
One important fact is that back home, both of my parents had amazing careers as lawyers, while my husband grew up with his single mother, who is a teacher. He always felt “less than” or not as wealthy as my family, but I was never materialistic and never cared about that. He’s a hard worker and completely changed his life for the better. We bought our house at a young age, became financially independent, and I think he placed a lot of his self-worth in work and money.
After my parents moved here, they struggled financially and, like I said, were trying to adapt. I noticed my husband making comments about my parents finally seeing what America is really like, that people have to work harder here, and that my siblings would never make a life here because they’re lazy. He even said my parents were jealous of our life and that was why they moved here.
During 2022 and 2023, my husband and I traveled a lot. We went to Europe multiple times, visited home, and were just trying to live a happy life. My siblings would come stay with me on weekends, and my parents would visit for holidays and birthdays.
I noticed here and there that my husband would become quieter than usual and have that terrible resting bitch face. Maybe my dad made a comment or joke that my husband didn’t like and I didn’t notice. Like I said in the comments, that was probably my fault, but I’m not a very observant person.
We also visited my parents at their house and stayed for weekends. To me, everything seemed fine. During that time, my husband was also really pushing to have a child. I was hesitant, to be honest. I was scared of how my life would change, but we had been married for a long time, I was getting older, and we decided to try.
The first time we tried, I got pregnant.
Then things got worse. He started bringing up things from when we were teenagers and my parents wouldn’t let us see each other as often. He said he would do the same thing to them with our child. He would get upset over things he projected my parents might do, like coming every week or staying too long with the baby, and I would tell him we could talk about those things when they happened because we didn’t know what it would actually be like.
This post is already too long, but if you’re still here, the point when he completely cut my family out of his life was when my baby was two months old.
My parents came to spend the day with us. They arrived around 9 a.m., and when my husband got home from work around 3 p.m., my parents were still there. He got furious, took a shower, left the house, and completely ignored them.
My parents told me they were leaving and apologized. I was shocked and heartbroken. I was freshly postpartum. Since then, my parents have never seen or spoken to my husband again.
I’ve only visited my parents once. Usually, they come here and we spend the day at the park or walking around stores.
When my husband and I talk about it, he says my parents don’t respect him, that they’re destroying our marriage, that I don’t have boundaries, that they aren’t as good of people as everyone thinks, and that they’re intruders.
When I ask for examples, he can never really give me anything specific. He gets emotional, and I end up confused.
I don’t know if my parents are really that bad and I just don’t see it, if I’m a “golden child,” or if my husband is being controlling and emotionally abusive like some of you have suggested.
I’ve thought about that before. I’ve told him that respect is different from control. I’ve even read him the definition. He stays quiet when I talk. I don’t know if he’s listening or if he’s so angry that he can’t hear what I’m saying.
I’m sorry I can’t reply to everyone, but I am reading all of the comments. - I also used ai to help correct my grammar in case you’re wondering.
I might add he comes from divorced parents, his father moved to USA when he was 2, he grow up with his single mom and older sister. He said multiple times that our son would be just like him, from divorced parents without a father because I’d choose my family over him.

Hello ladies!

I’ve posted on here several times in the past about my now ex SO and I should’ve trusted my instinct and the advice I’ve received from many of you on here.

I’m 32, dated my now ex for 5 years. He’s 35 years old. He comes from a super enmeshed family. He is the middle child and has an older sister who dictates and controls everything that goes on in the family, and a younger sister who follows her around like a puppy.

It finally happened—I was ghosted, after 5 years of dating.

Back in March, we went to the pool one weekend and I found pills on him in his wallet. I was super upset because he told me he stopped taking them months ago. Which led to me being upset, him gaslighting me and telling me I was being overdramatized, and I told him I wanted to leave and go home. That was the last time I saw him. I went back to my apartment, and he stopped texting me. That same night, he texted me he totaled his car on the way home (I suspect he was on drugs) and that he decided that he was going to take his sister’s offer to go on a family trip to Japan in 2 days. I had a feeling the trip was already booked, he just didn’t tell me.

I’ve posted in this group before about his super controlling sister and mom who never liked me. His older sister calls all the shots and his family literally dictates the siblings lives.

He barely texted me throughout the trip, in 10 days he sent me about 3 pictures and videos. After the Japan trip, him and his family went to Hawaii to stay with his older sister and nieces. The trip turned out to be 2 weeks. Then 2 weeks turned into a month. Whenever he’s with his family, it was as if I never existed. In our 5 years of dating, he visited Hawaii 4x but never took me once.

Anyway, once he came back home end of April, he never once called me to meet. Never replied to my texts, nothing. My birthday was on May 17th, he texted me on the 18th saying his dad took his phone, blah blah (he’s a 35 year old man) and that he’s not allowed to do anything or go anywhere without them because he’s been in trouble about the totaled car and his arrest back in December (that I bailed him out of).

I’ve seen him online on Facebook and stuff so I know he has his phone back. I still haven’t seen or heard from him in 3 months. I know it’s a reflection on him at the end of the day, but I still can’t believe that he couldn’t even find the courage to just talk to me and break up with me via text or call atleast. I uprooted my life, left my friends and family behind to move to his city 5 years ago to be with him.

It appalls me that a man raised in a household of women, with 2 sisters would be taught that it’s okay to treat other women like this. His sisters were nasty, conniving, always had the “you’re taking our brother away” mentality from us. His younger sister’s engagement broke for the same reason, because their family influenced her life and at the end of the day, she chose her family.

My cousins invited him to weddings, birthday parties, he spent a week with me and my family over Christmas, my grandma would invite him over every time we were in town. His family knew. They knew how he was treated by my family, but they never cared or appreciated any of it. They never invited me over for dinner. His mom used to, but then his sisters got into her ears.

Anyway, men suck. I came to find out most of our mutual friends do not like him. Idk what he does now, but nobody has heard from him. I’ve always asked him to stand up for me and our relationship to his family but he never grew a spine. He always told me he wouldn’t be with me if he wasn’t defending us, but I knew it was never enough.

My wife ‘25F’ and I ‘25M’just passed our 2 year anniversary. We’ve been together going on 10 years total. Everything had been extremely smooth our entire relationship until just a couple days ago.
A little context, we recently switched phone providers because our service had been terrible. And in doing that, we got new phones in the process. That being said, the night we got our new phones, after we transferred everything over, my wife asked me to factory reset both phones. I go to do hers, and right before I do, she gets a text from a coworker that I’ve heard of, but never met. All I know is this coworker is on the wild side. Curiosity got the best of me and I snooped. (I never go through her phone because I trust her, or did atleast.)
I proceeded to find 3 weeks of constant text threads of the two of them talking about how “unbelievably sexy” and “hot asf” 2 of their male coworkers are. At first, I felt like it was whatever. But then I found it. The night of our anniversary, my wife apparently had a sex dream with this male coworker. First thing the next morning, she goes and texts her female coworker all the details of how it was, how horny she was when she woke up, and how that’s all she’s thinking about now. They talked about this in a text thread for roughly 3-4 hours straight. My wife then explains how everytime she sees him at work that she instantly thinks about that dream and gets super turned on and “aroused”.
At this point, I felt like this was kind of uncalled for, but I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Until not even a day after this text thread, she then text her coworker again saying “I was bent over picking something up and he walked behind me trying to squeeze past me and I felt him and immediately got super wet. I just looked at him and smiled. I had to go to the bathroom to compose myself before I jumped on him in the store.” After reading this, I kind of just felt like crap.
Now comes the real crap that has my head all messed up. Around 2 weeks ago, my wife’s OBGYN called her saying that her blood test came back positive for syphillis. My wife claims her OBGYN is telling her it’s a false positive and she has no other signs of it what so ever. That being said, we both had to go to the health department and get tested hours before I found these text threads. At first, I believed her. But now, I’m starting to think she’s acted on some of these thoughts she’s been having and she’s trying to cover it up. Our text results come back this coming Wednesday. If I test positive, I feel like that gives me my answer to be honest, but I don’t know.
Anyways, I don’t really know how to move on from this. I feel lost. And I also feel like I’m overreacting. I don’t want divorce, especially over text threads. But my mind is spiraling. How do I move past this?