u/Pretty_Smoke6145

Anyone know of which performing artists are reputed to be good gurus? I know they vary in terms of teaching quality, with many performing artists phoning it in teaching and focusing primarily on their performing career.

I'm in my early 20s, NRI, looking for a new guru online. I'm manodarmam level, just starting to do longer (1.5-2 hr) concerts. I've enjoyed learning from performing artists in the past as their perspectives on approaching concerts, what sounds good to audiences, etc. was helpful. My last guru was a performing artist and it worked really well for me generally- but we just didn't gel stylistically. So I'm looking for a new guru.

In all honestly though , I know a lot of Chennai performing artists see NRI students as cash cows. I'd like someone who is willing to invest in and get to know me, even though carnatic music is my hobby and I'll never be a full time musician. also someone who will teach me directly (even if only quasi-regularly), and not through their senior students. Also helpful if they are nice/low ego.

TW: death, abuse]

I have played the sitar since I was 6 years old. I started learning from my second teacher when I was 15 for the last 7 years- she's a pretty accomplished musician in india, and a bit intimidating.

in hindustani music, teachers are often revered & elevated to almost family - traditionally, advanced students would even live full time with their teacher as part of their family- called a Gurukul. needless to say, professional boundaries are not quite there the way they would be in western music (there's no boundaries lol). living in the US as an indian american, I learned online, with frequent visits to india to learn in person when I could.

Over the last year after graduating college, my life felt like it was falling apart- my best friend committed suicide, a guy I dated for a short period of time stalked and threatened to murder me, I work until 3am for my finance job, and my anxiety (naturally) spiked up to levels so bad I stopped eating and sleeping.

around the same time, music became even more important to me- I wanted to perform seriously, and I wanted the music part of my life to "work," even if nothing else was working. I've always been really high achieving, and when everything fell apart, achievement in work and music is all I know how to do.

At the same time, I felt like my teacher had given up on me entirely. I had a bad concert, and she started suggesting that I didn't need to perform all the time. she dropped the material difficulty & expectations so low, I felt like I was pushed more when I first started with her at 15. she'd often remind me that this just a side thing for me, that I had a real job and that not every music student needs to perform. I felt like she had given up on me and decided to quit her class.

I called to discontinue classes, and when she asked me why, in an embarrassing moment, ended up sobbing as I told her that I felt like she didn't see me as a performer or see a path in me, and that a musician of her caliber should teach students that she sees a future for. She told me she thought I would know her better than that to think she didn't believe in me, and that I'm being way too hard on myself. She tried to convince me to stay, telling me its such a shame I'm quitting, but stopped herself in the middle, saying that she didn't want me to upset me more or force me to stay. I quit, and that was it. She ended the call telling me to stay in touch and that this isn't a closed door, but I haven't talked to her since.

It's been 9 months since I quit her class, and I just landed in the ER after my stress & eating got so bad, I got severe gastritis. And it reminded me that she told me a year ago, that her brother, who worked in finance, landed in the ER for not eating properly. I realize that despite her being this big musician- she was just worried about me. I didn't think much about her asking about my sleep or eating, or suggesting I meditate, at the time, but I don't think I did a good job hiding that my life was falling apart. When I quit, she told me she was waiting for me to tell her what I was going through. I think she didn't know what to do, but was just trying to lower the pressure so music didn't become an additional source of stress.

I feel really bad. I wasn't a child, and should have held it together better than that and communicated better than that. Although she was kind to me when I quit, I know I hurt her feelings. I don't think I should learn from her again, but I just want to apologize for how I handled it . I don't know if she wants to hear from me though. At the end of the day, she is a teacher, not family, and maybe reaching out would make her really uncomfortable. And I don't even know what to say, it's so awkward and I don't want to put the burden on her to deal with me again or to have to 'manage' my emotions- I just want her to know that I valued her teaching tremendously, and am sorry for how I handled things. Any advice on approaching it in a way that actually is considerate of her, not just a way for me to handle my guilt?

I got a bilateral vocal cord steroid injections for lesions, and in my 2 week check up- my left vocal cords is extremely stiff and swollen. my laryngologist said this is extremely rare, and that they often resolve themselves after a month- but that sometimes, they are permanent. he says there's no sign of vocal cord atrophy.

has anyone had this complication? I'm freaking out, as I chose steroid injections precisely as a lower risk alternative to surgery :(

Has anyone had challenging experiences with gurus- either bad/bittersweet experiences, a difficult time leaving/switching teachers, or just missing your last guru?

I had a really difficult experience quitting lessons from my first guru, who was really hurt and was angry for years that I quit. She said some really harsh words, that still ring in the back my head today several years later- I still feel guilty, even though I can't really even pinpoint what I did wrong, especially as a child.

I just recently stopped learning from my second guru- whom I loved as a person and am grateful to, but over time, it just stopped being the right fit musically. I miss my second guru a lot as a person, I miss talking to them. They said to stay in touch, but I don't know what the relationship is like now that we don't have classes or structured time, especially since it was largely online. And I know I hurt their feelings quitting too.

In both cases, my relationship with my gurus felt almost familial- in good ways and bad.

Being an NRI born outside India- it's hard to explain to others what these experiences are like. It seems wildly overblown to be this sad about a loss or rupture of a relationship with a music teacher. But they shaped so much of who I am today, especially having learned from them as a child and teenager for several years. I often joke that these experiences are 'guru breakups' - like a friend or romantic breakup- but with its own complexities and power dynamics.

I often envy friends who found the right fit guru early on, and developed long-lasting, meaningful relationships with their gurus- whom they consider a mentor, both musically and for life. As a young adult, I still hope to have that with a guru oneday.

I sing indian classical music, and often sing in small venues with microphones but no floor monitors. In ear monitors are also not common at all in indian classical music, and the stages I sing in often don't accommodate them.

The issue is- when I don't have floor monitors, I find it really hard to hear myself, and I go off pitch. Any tips to address this? I'm working on feeling the vibrations when I sing but- in the meantime, anyone have tips on the best earplugs to hear myself better? Should I get foam earplugs, loop earplugs, custom made earplugs, etc?

Got steroid injections on both my vocal cords for bilateral pseudocysts- 5 days later, my voice is extremely hoarse and I still can't talk.
Doctor said that's normal and it should come back around the 2 week period but it seems really extreme to me- is this normal?

Getting vocal cord steroid injections for pseudocysts. My doctor said 2 weeks total voice rest. I'm fine with it, given flexibility in my job, but that seems surprisingly long? Is that sometimes prescribed?

I (24F) have had nodules for ~ 9 months. the doctor says they are small but they won't go away and they make my speaking voice tired & my singing voice hoarse, breathy, and unpredictiable. I sing semi-professionally and work a day job online- they've made it really hard to sing and perform.

The nodules initially got smaller the first 3 months (when I took a break from singing a few weeks), but have since not resolved any further.

I've done speech therapy (15+ sessions) and I feel like my technique is much better- I've totally changed my speaking and singing; doing SOVTs; posture; breath control; everything... But my nodules won't go away. My doctors are suggesting surgery. I'm also trying speech therapy with someone new.

I asked my doctors if just not singing for a while would help but they said it wouldn't help at all.

But I don't see why relative not singing for few weeks would not help? Isn't the issue that when I sing, the nodules are hitting against each other, and therefore not able to resolve? I understand the concern about going back to my old habits, but that's why I went/go to speech therapy.

I'm not able to go on total voice rest because of my job, but would relative voice rest (not singing/reducing speaking) help? Just avoiding singing? I'll do anything to avoid surgery- I just want to be able to sing well again :( .

I've sung for 10+ years since I was a kid, and never had pitch problems (though I don't have perfect pitch- I took lessons, performed, and generally had good pitch).

I was diagnosed with a hemorrhage, acid reflux, and vocal cord polyps and went through speech therapy. The hemorrhage went away, the polyps did not go away entirely but are much smaller, such that they are manageable and I have largely gained my range back.

Since then, I've had serious pitch problem. Pitch used to be something I didn't even think about, and now I'm going off all the time- both in practice, but especially when I perform. I often go too high. If I focus, I can usually sing on pitch, but if I ever stop focusing on pitch (e.g., to try to do some improv, when my instrumental accompanists does something cool...), I lose pitch. It's almost like I've lost the "singing on pitch" muscle memory...I definitely have the ear, and can tell immediately when I'm off pitch or when someone else is.

is this a normal symptom of vocal cord issues?

For those of you who did surgery for vocal cord lesions, are you glad you did it?
I have bilateral pseudocysts that haven't responded to therapy the last 6 months. My speaking voice is largely fine but my singing voice is really hoarse.

For those who did surgery, did your voice improve? How long did it take to sing normally again? Was it worth it?

I've been told there's a 5% risk of scaring. Did anyone experience scaring, and if so, did that kill your ability to sing or speak entirely?

I'm singer. I had large bilateral vocal cord polyps and a hemmorage last July, and they healed really well. I do have very small vocal cord polyps now, but my laryngologist and SLP now say these are really small (to the point where they think many singers might have these small vocal cord polyps anyway), to the point where I can fully sing around them without surgery.

But the issue is my singing voice is still gone and worse than ever, even worse than it was when I was first diagnosed. It's extremely hoarse and my range is completely gone, I can barely sing a few notes.

I've had 15+ speech therapy sessions- I now do SOVTs every day 3x times a day, warm up much more, started releasing tongue and jaw tension, take vocal rest & speak less when I can. My speaking technique is also better.

I just don't understand why my singing voice is nearly gone- my physical polyps are nearly gone, but my voice is worse than it has ever been. Could this all just be tension/anxiety based?

I just wanted to come rant. Singing is a huge part of my life, and not being able to sing has been horrible. I have gigs the next couple months I'll have to cancel. I worked so hard the last year to get my voice back and it's worse than ever.

Edit: did not get surgery, the polyps and hemmorage healed naturally from voice rest and therapy..

I'm singer. I had large bilateral vocal cord polyps and a hemmorage last July, and they healed pretty well.

I do have small bilateral vocal cord polyps now, but my otolaryngologist and SLP now say these are pretty small (to the point where they think many singers might have these small vocal cord polyps naturally anyway).
They say I can sing around them and shouldn't get surgery because it's not worth the risk of scarring.

My cords do look *much* better & my cords are closing- but the issue is my singing voice is really worse than ever, probably even worse than it was when I was first diagnosed. It's constantly hoarse, air is escaping, and my upper range is completely gone.

I've had 15+ speech therapy sessions- I now do SOVTs every day 3x times a day, warm up much more, started releasing tongue and jaw tension, take vocal rest & speak less when I can. My speaking technique is also better.

I just don't understand why my voice is so bad- my physical polyps are much better, my speaking & singing technique is much better- but my voice is worse than it has ever been.

Would surgery still help? Have people tried other things- like steroid shots, prednisone, etc?
Singing is a huge part of my life and identity and I'm so frustrated.

I (24F) started the acid watchers diet recently and have suddenly had much worse symptoms. My symptoms used to just be hoarseness (im a singer) and post nasal drip. now my hoarseness has gotten worse and I have really bad throat pain too, and even some ear pain.

Is this normal in the first few days? or is this indicative that I have low acid and I should be doing something else?

I got a large 1-bedroom apartment for $2500 near broadway and 46th street. Has anyone lived around there and have thoughts on what it's like?

I'm 24F, I like to host house dinners, read, go to cafes & restaurants, largely an introvert.

25F living in UES, but got priced out. found a 1-bedroom apartment (no laundry nor dishwasher nor elevator, 2nd floor) around 44th st and 28th ave. Around 700 ft.

Is $2300/month, rent stabilized, a decent deal? I work remotely, so it's nice to have a large space, but the area seems a bit quiet.

also how do people like the ditmars neighborhood? im a bit sad to leave the UES, I like the density/how convenient everything is...