u/Professional_Job846

I'm filling out the LECOM (Bradenton FL) secondary/supplemental and it asks me to choose one of the following:

• LECOM's my #1 choice, I would accept an offer for the matriculating class.
• I would strongly consider an offer for the matriculating class.
• I would consider an offer to the matriculating class, but LECOM is not my top choice.

If I select the first option, is that considered binding? In other words, if I'm accepted, would I be fully required to attend LECOM and withdraw applications from other programs I'm hypothetically waiting to hear back from, or is it simply a way to indicate very strong interest? (I am def strongly interested in attending LECOM-Bradenton, I could see myself being open to many different locations and I need to do more research + tour the campus to know 100%)

I'm trying to understand how admissions views the question - is it the same as "early-decision" pathway?

This is a long-standing issue that recently escalated, and I’m trying to understand whether I’m unreasonable for overthinking it, whether this is just a normal sibling dynamic I should accept (i’ll accept it either way cause I have no choice), or whether there’s a deeper pattern I should take seriously & just “protect” my feelings and distance myself as well…

My sister and I are adults and live far apart, so most of our communication (if at all) is through calls and texts. Over the years, I’ve felt a growing emotional distance & huge imbalance in trying to reconnect (Id reach out and get ghosted or 1 word replies often) in the relationship.

It’s not black and white; she has been supportive, kind, and thoughtful at times, and we’ve had meaningful conversations. She \\\*can\\\* be warm and engaged when in the mood or when I catch her at opportune moments I suppose

But overall, those moments feel inconsistent. More often, I feel I experience very short replies, disengaged conversations, or situations where I try to connect and don’t feel much effort returned. When she talks about her life or stressors, I am very engaged and supportive, but when I do the same, I sometimes feel impatience, shutting the convo down, interrupting me, or disinterest.

Over time, this has left me feeling like I care more emotionally about the relationship than she does.

There are also smaller moments over the years that felt dismissive or emotionally unsupportive, especially during stressful/toxic/abusive situations. Individually, none of these are extreme, but collectively they’ve built up.

Recently, I tried to bring this up during an argument. I used specific examples (sent in a text message) to explain why I felt hurt and why I was reacting emotionally in the moment. My intention was not to attack her, but to explain the pattern I was experiencing. (I’m aware of the mistake in timing of bringing it up)

(An example I brought up was calling her in a time I needed support about to break off my first multiple year long relationship and she handed the phone to a stranger cuz she wasn’t in the mood)

The conversation I opened escalated. She became extremely angry, cussed me out over and over, insulted me, and yelled at me. I was called overly sensitive and dramatic, and the conversation ended without resolution.

Afterward, I tried to repair things. I clarified my intent, apologized for how I brought it up, took back any generalizations, and made sure to express all the ways why I love, and appreciate her, see the good in her, and don’t want to lose the relationship.

However, she did not apologize or revisit the how unkindly she spoke to me, ignored all the examples and dismissed them (she can’t disprove the occurrences I didn’t lie but she said she could explain and it’s not worth her time) and the conversation remained unresolved. I was left feeling worse after trying to be honest and vulnerable.

Now I’m left confused. I can see that bringing up past examples during conflict was unwise and I spoke on the fly while upset and hurt, but I also feel like I’ve been experiencing a long-term pattern of feeling emotionally unheard and invalidated, and now again when I try to express it.

…

TL;DR: My sister is sometimes caring but emotionally inconsistent. I get why she’s mad at me. She has the right to be and I’ve put myself in her shoes and attempted everything to be loving and repair. When I tried to explain how our past/present has affected me, it escalated into insults/mean labels, and no conversation afterward/being ignored other than basically her agreeing for us to drop it be peaceful, and I’m left unsure whether this is a pattern I should accept since we are diff personalities w diff POVs or a relationship I should just let go of (in other words engage when she wants which might be rare or never).

While she said, let’s be peaceful, I believe she’s holding onto resentment (suppose I am too) but she’s ghosted me since I sent her genuinely kind and thoughtful words

Advice for how to feel resolve? Open to any wisdom or insights

This is a long-standing issue that recently escalated, and I’m trying to understand whether I’m unreasonable for overthinking it, whether this is just a normal sibling dynamic I should accept (i’ll accept it either way cause I have no choice), or whether there’s a deeper pattern I should take seriously & just “protect” my feelings and distance myself as well…

My sister and I are adults and live far apart, so most of our communication (if at all) is through calls and texts. Over the years, I’ve felt a growing emotional distance & huge imbalance in trying to reconnect (Id reach out and get ghosted or 1 word replies often) in the relationship.

It’s not black and white; she has been supportive, kind, and thoughtful at times, and we’ve had meaningful conversations. She *can* be warm and engaged when in the mood or when I catch her at opportune moments I suppose

But overall, those moments feel inconsistent. More often, I feel I experience very short replies, disengaged conversations, or situations where I try to connect and don’t feel much effort returned. When she talks about her life or stressors, I am very engaged and supportive, but when I do the same, I sometimes feel impatience, shutting the convo down, interrupting me, or disinterest.

Over time, this has left me feeling like I care more emotionally about the relationship than she does.

There are also smaller moments over the years that felt dismissive or emotionally unsupportive, especially during stressful/toxic/abusive situations. Individually, none of these are extreme, but collectively they’ve built up.

Recently, I tried to bring this up during an argument. I used specific examples (sent in a text message) to explain why I felt hurt and why I was reacting emotionally in the moment. My intention was not to attack her, but to explain the pattern I was experiencing. (I’m aware of the mistake in timing of bringing it up)

(An ex I brought up was calling her in a time I needed support about to break off my first multiple year long relationship and she handed the phone to a stranger cuz she wasn’t in the mood)

The conversation I opened escalated. She became extremely angry, cussed me out over and over, insulted me, and yelled at me. I was called overly sensitive and dramatic, and the conversation ended without resolution.

Afterward, I tried to repair things. I clarified my intent, apologized for how I brought it up, took back any generalizations, and made sure to express all the ways why I love, and appreciate her, see the good in her, and don’t want to lose the relationship.

However, she did not apologize or revisit the how unkindly she spoke to me, ignored all the examples and dismissed them (she can’t disprove the occurrences I didn’t lie but she said she could explain and it’s not worth her time) and the conversation remained unresolved. I was left feeling worse after trying to be honest and vulnerable.

Now I’m left confused. I can see that bringing up past examples during conflict was unwise and I spoke on the fly while upset and hurt, but I also feel like I’ve been experiencing a long-term pattern of feeling emotionally unheard and invalidated, and now again when I try to express it.

…

TL;DR: My sister is sometimes caring but emotionally inconsistent. I get why she’s mad at me. She has the right to be and I’ve put myself in her shoes and attempted everything to be loving and repair. When I tried to explain how our past/present has affected me, it escalated into insults/mean labels, and no conversation afterward/being ignored other than basically her agreeing for us to drop it be peaceful, and I’m left unsure whether this is a pattern I should accept since we are diff personalities w diff POVs or a relationship I should just let go of (in other words engage when she wants which might be rare or never).

While she said, let’s be peaceful, I believe she’s holding onto resentment (suppose I am too) but she’s ghosted me since I sent her genuinely kind and thoughtful words

Advice for how to feel resolve?

…

{Following rules on this sub: F26 + F24 sisters and duration of relationship = technically 24 years but this experience began w/ teenagehood}

This is a long-standing issue that came to a head recently. I’m trying to understand if I’m overreacting or if this is a pattern that’s worth taking seriously, or if I should just let it go & just expect things to not change, or all the above(?)

(At this current point, I’ve already truly adjusted my expectations and practiced radical acceptance, and tried to take accountability for my own “unreasonable” sensitivity/emotions as well…)

My sibling (sister) and I are adults, and for years (after childhood & moving away esp) I’ve felt a growing emotional distance in our relationship. It’s not that she is always uncaring; there are times she has been supportive, thoughtful, and kind- it’s not black and white. We’ve had meaningful conversations, and she def can be warm and affectionate at times.

But overall, those moments feel inconsistent and relatively infrequent. More often, I experience brief (1 word, if at all) replies on text and calls, full disengagement, or situations where I try to connect and don’t really feel met halfway, my attempts to talk are occasionally shut down/interrupted & im given dry replies or just ghosted (we live many hours flight away), so the only way to stay in touch and know what’s going on in each other‘s lives is to communicate somewhat verbally. When I share things about my life or try to give detail, I sometimes feel like there’s impatience or a lack of interest compared to how I show up for them very interested and invested and caring- when they choose to (rarely) open up about their stress, school, or personal issues.

Over time, that imbalance has built up into a sad/hurt/confused feeling that I care more about the relationship emotionally “deeper” than they do. I guess it’s a feeling, not saying it’s the “truth”, I know humans are subjective …I don’t know, theoretically only God/a higher power might know what’s in our hearts…

There are also smaller moments that have stuck with me over the years (things said jokingly that felt dismissive/pointed/inconsiderate in hindsight, or times during really toxic/abusive family situations where I felt emotionally unsupported or alone/not at all stood up for when I could’ve really used some support). Individually, none of these are “huge”, but collectively they’ve added up.

Recently, I tried to explain this during an argument (total mistake to bring it up that moment of tension, I know, but I’m doing my best). I brought up specific examples of past moments to my sister because I was trying to show why I was hurt and why I was reacting emotionally in the present. My intention was not to attack, but to explain the pattern I’ve been feeling w/ examples to be more concrete about: her behavior —-> my feelings, (rather than just say abstractly only; “it hurts ur cold and dismissive sometimes/too often for myself to feel emotionally close” yknow)

(If I could redo it, I would say “constructive” things like I wanna call More and I wanna connect more deeply, but I feel like that never changes anything anyway… at this point, I’m convinced the best thing to do is let her be, and just accept that our relationship dynamic won’t be the way I long/wish for)

Anyways, the conversation escalated. I was told I was “too dramatic” and “too sensitive,” and she became very angry and cursed at me screaming, and cussing me out, then ghosted me for a bit before finally giving me a dry bare minimum agreement that we could be peaceful, and she still never apologized nor even pretended to take any accountability for or attempt to put herself in my shoes after what I shared about why im hurt by her. She was so angry, which kind of shocked me, and I couldn’t eat or sleep well, because of the anxiety (on me, I know)

At one point, they repeatedly screamed things like “F*** U” & “ur a B*tch” & so it rlly feels like they “hate” me. I understand from her point of view, the things I shared came “out of nowhere” and from her point of view I don’t see the positive things (not true imo), and I choose to focus on the negative in our relationship, so I understand that I hurt her of course, and that’s part of the anger/indignance... I felt bad for hurting her, and I tried to empathize, which is why I tried to immediately clarify my genuine intent & apologize, since I got things off my chest *on the fly* and didn’t pause/think about how to frame it in a more *nuanced* or “Fair manner”, so I apologized for that/for how I was hurtful… and really tried to empathize with how I caused hurt feelings and why she is so angry with me, by pretending im her…

again I tried take certain more “generalizing”, character-level, things back, and prove to her how much I appreciate and love her, by being as kind as possible, and allowing her to explode on me without apologizing, I still don’t think that my text message getting things off my chest abt my feelings w examples was so “monstrous”, but anyway, frankly the extreme *wrath and hostility* I received from her was shocking and scary- and it made me RLLY regret being vulnerable and sharing my feelings and experiences/POV :(

After that, she did not apologize or revisit what was said, and everything I tried to explain about my feelings was dismissed, (although she can’t disprove the occurrences I shared that hurt me, since I didn’t fabricate/make any examples up, which other family members agreed I was not lying about anything, and of course, the perspective on the situation can be *nuanced*… I fully understand why she’s angry and upset with me, which is why I tried to humble myself and “kill her with kindness” and being as loving and self-accountable too, (in response to her cussing out and ghosting me))

Again, I tried to repair things. I took back any generalizations I made about how much she cares, clarified that I was speaking from hurt and not trying to define her “as a person/sister”, and I apologized multiple times. I also made sure to express how much I really do love and appreciate her and don’t want to lose the sibling relationship that we do have.

Despite that, she remained cold and still did not acknowledge (or apologize) for at least how she exploded/reacted to me (I did *not at all* ask her to apologize abt the *previous grievances*, but I did expect some apology after she exploded on me(?)).

In sum I was left feeling WAY worse instead of better, after *trying* to be honest and open (according to my POV about my feelings based on her behaviors towards me).

I’m now sitting with a lot of confusion and hurt- because I know with retrospect that indeed I handled this badly by bringing up specific past examples during conflict…, but still, after all that’s said and done, after I tried to contextualize my grievances text, and I tried to call, and got ghosted, after I apologized, and acknowledged the ways that I could be a better person ),, it feels like maybe the bigger issue is that I still *feel* consistently unheard and then invalidated when I try to express it. And ironically, I was attempting to become closer by sharing, and share things that hurt me, to be more transparent, which I RLLY wish I could undo, but it’s too late…

TL;DR: My sibling is sometimes caring and supportive, but overall I’ve felt emotionally distanced by them for years, sure this is normal for many people but there were times when they did multiple hurtful things that feel disrespectful and very cold repeatedly. When I finally tried to explain this using examples, the conversation escalated badly- they insulted me and said hurtful things, and afterward didn’t apologize or engage in repair, while I tried to apologize, be accountable, be better, and clarify my intent. I’m left feeling invalidated and unsure if I’m “unreasonable” or if this is a deeper pattern, (and I should wake up and take off the rose colored glasses and remove all expectations and hopes I used to have, in order to protect myself)

If anyone has advice, or wisdom, I would appreciate it, (and also I do realize that I’m ruminating and I should accept the status quo fundamentally) I guess I’m looking for “resolve”

If I did an activity every year during the school year, but not during the summers when I left campus and returned to my hometown, should I list that activity as a "repeated activity" with it happening the school year long (august to may, for 4 years)? Or should I just list one time from august 2021-may 2025 and list it non-repeating?

tldr: did an activity every school year but not summers; should I list it as one continuous activity or repeated yearly entries?

If I did an activity every year during the school year, but not during the summers when I left campus and returned to my hometown, should I list that activity as a "repeated activity" with it happening the school year long (august to may, for 4 years)? Or should I just list one time from august 2021-may 2025 and list it non-repeating?

tldr: did an activity every school year but not summers; should I list it as one continuous activity or repeated yearly entries?

Time remaining	Questions finished
1 hr	Q20
45 min	Q30
30 min	Q40
15 min	Q50

is this an ideal pace/plan for C/P, B/B, P/S sections?

(for CARS I plan to aim ~10 mins per passage)

thank you!

I'm not fully clear on the secondaries timeline and verification process; I was wondering...

If I submit my primary ~ June 2 (for example, the earliest is may 28th right?), how fast do secondaries usually come in after submission/verification, and what’s the expected turnaround timeline for receiving them?

I know the general guideline is to submit secondaries within <14 days after receiving them, but I’m more confused about how soon secondaries are typically sent out to us relative to the timing of submitting the primary application and how long it takes for that to be verified/how soon after the secondaries come in?

Basically: after you submit your primary, how long does it usually take to start getting secondaries back, and is it immediate once verified or more staggered over time?

Also what difference would it make in the verification-duration if one submits primary on June 1st versus on June 7th for example?

Lastly I know people recommend prewriting secondaries; in light of that, would taking a week break from working on everything after submitting primary app be harmful to finishing things in a timely manner given the rolling admissions nature of interview slots?

Thank you all in advance for the help and guidance!!

I am taking my MCAT in ~21 days from today and I’m seriously cramming because I’m behind in studying. (I really don’t want to move my exam again, so I’m trying to finish as much of AAMC as possible and encode stuff)

At the same time, I’m still working on my personal statement (I have a few rough drafts) and my work and activities essays (I’m lagging on those, but I’ve written solid rough drafts for my 3 most meaningful experiences.) I also have LOR writers who confirmed/agreed to write my letters a while back, but I haven’t actually secured any of those letters yet (I still need to set up Interfolio?).

I’m also not fully clear on the secondaries timeline and verification process. My family is planning a major trip for my older sister’s graduation/bday during the 1st week of June, and I’m wondering: would it be possible for me to join and take that week off from prepping my application/essays, or will that significantly hinder my application timeline?

in sum:
Currently dedicating energies on MCAT in 21 days (besides working) so I am cramming while still working on app essays and have to fully acquire LORs.

Wanting clarity on when I'll receive secondaries/the verification timeline...if I submit my primary ~ June 2nd (for ex), how fast do secondaries usually come/what’s the expected turnaround timeline of receiving them?

^[I know 14 days upon receiving secondaries one should turn them in, but I'm wondering how soon the secondaries will be sent to me relative to my primary app submission date]?

advice on the family trip planned during first week of June; can I afford to take that week off or will it hurt my app timeline?