u/Pure-Lab8830

I've been in a 3.5-year relationship, and while my boyfriend and I love each other deeply, our relationship has always had one recurring issue: he isn't very verbally affectionate. He's naturally very nonchalant, doesn't compliment me often, rarely calls first, and over the past few months, we've become somewhat distant. We were also getting into a lot of petty arguments and unnecessary fights.

The timing made it even harder because I'm moving to another country next week to start graduate school, and I was terrified of taking all that negative energy into a long-distance relationship.

A few months ago, I started listening to subliminals regularly. Most of them were focused on positive energy, everything working out in my favour, everyone favouring me, self-concept, confidence, beauty, and relationship improvements like my boyfriend being clingy and obsessed with me, him worshiping the floor I walk on, me being the centre of his world, and similar subs. I spent a lot of time affirming that I was loved, prioritised, admired, appreciated, and that my relationship was free from misunderstandings.

This Friday, my boyfriend and I planned a date, and I can honestly say it wasn't just the best date of my life; it was one of the best DAYS I've ever had.

Before leaving the house, I wore a cute yellow cardigan with dark blue shorts, did my makeup, and actually felt beautiful. I also bought some chocolates for him because they're his favourite.

Earlier that day, he had called me and told me he had already left home for the date. At the time, I had literally just gotten out of the shower and told him it would take me at least an hour to reach our meeting spot. Normally, he gets impatient if I'm even five minutes late. But that day, instead of being upset, he calmly told me not to worry and to take my time.

That was the first thing that felt different.

When I finally arrived and saw him, he was standing there holding a bouquet of sunflowers.

I was completely shocked.

In our entire 3.5 years together, he has only bought me flowers once before, on our anniversary. Usually, if he gives me flowers, they're hand-picked ones he finds somewhere. Not that they are any less valuable, but the point is, they're free. He isn't the type of person to spend his money on buying flowers, so seeing him standing there with a bouquet of sunflowers, which are my favourite flowers and also expensive, shocked me.

On top of the flowers, he was also wearing a crisp white button-down shirt with jeans and a tie. He said he wanted to look good for me. He is usually someone who just walks around in a loose T-shirt and shorts. He'd never before put in such effort in his own appearance.

As we walked toward each other, he had the biggest smile on his face. Then he hugged me in public.

This might not sound like a big deal to some people, but for us it was huge. We never hug each other in public. We usually wait until we're somewhere private before being physically affectionate.

Then he looked at me and immediately said, "Wow, you look so pretty."

I laughed because I genuinely thought he was joking.

But he kept going.

He told me I looked beautiful. He kept staring at me and smiling. Usually, if I want a compliment, I have to practically drag one out of him by asking, "How do I look?" or "Do you think this outfit is nice?" This time, the compliments came without me asking.

The entire time we were walking, I could literally feel him looking at me.

After giving me the flowers, he told me he had another gift for me in his bag that he would give me later.

As we continued walking, he kept asking me to hold his hand and hold onto his arm. At one point, another couple was walking in front of us, and the girl kept turning around and looking at me. I was feeling a bit paranoid because I honestly thought she was judging me for something.

Then she smiled and said, "You look really pretty."

I was completely stunned.

A random stranger had never complimented me like that before.

At that point, I remember thinking, "What is actually happening today?"

It genuinely felt like everyone was being unusually kind to me. People were looking at me, smiling at me, and my boyfriend even joked that everyone kept staring at me and that he needed to protect me from all the attention and any potential evil eye.

The entire date felt different from our usual dynamic.

Instead of being distant or distracted by his phone, he was completely present.

He asked to take photos of me. Not just one or two pictures; he spent a ridiculous amount of time making sure he got good photos. He changed angles, adjusted positions, and genuinely put effort into it. Usually, he's camera-shy and doesn't like taking photos, especially of himself.

But that day he wanted pictures.

He wanted couple photos and even suggested songs to post them on.

He even searched up cute couple trends and poses he had seen on Instagram and wanted to recreate them with me.

When it came to deciding where to go and what to eat, he kept saying, "Whatever you want."

Normally we would discuss things together, but that day he genuinely seemed happy just following my lead.

He kept telling me he loved me.

He kept smiling.

He kept touching my hand.

He kept looking at me like he couldn't believe I was there.

Then later he gave me the second gift he had brought for me.

Everything felt so easy.

There was no tension.

No arguments.

No misunderstandings.

Just happiness.

Toward the end of the date, it started raining.

Luckily, he had brought an umbrella.

So, we walked together under one umbrella while he held me by the waist. It felt like something straight out of a romance movie.

When we finally had to say goodbye, and I got on my way home, I thought the perfect day was over.

But it wasn't. He called me.

Then he called again to make sure I was safe.

Then he called again after I got home.

This is someone who rarely calls first unless there's an emergency.

That night we stayed on the phone for hours. We talked until I eventually fell asleep.

The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about how different everything had felt. Not just with him, but it felt like everyone around me was mesmerized by me for some reason.

And with him, it felt like a complete 180 from the version of him I'd been frustrated with for months.

Whether it was the subliminals, the self-concept work, the positive energy, or simply me changing internally and seeing that reflected into my reality, I don't know.

What I do know is that I felt beautiful, appreciated, adored, prioritised, and loved.

And right before leaving my country to start a completely new chapter of my life, I received one of the happiest memories I've ever made.

I'll never forget that day. 🌻

I am flying out in a month to study abroad on a fully funded master's program with a really good stipend. As I’m packing my bags, everything that happened over the last four years of college here in my home country is finally hitting me, and I just need to get it off my chest.

Back in our freshman year, I had a group of friends in college; two of them were very close since they were friends since high school (Reese and Shyla), and the group also included Martha, me, and Bea.

In our third year, I started dating my boyfriend, and we'd initially decided to keep it private, but I had told my group of friends about us because of how much I trusted them. He was from our college too, and was good friends with my friends, as we used to frequently go on group outings, and that's how he and I got close before falling for each other.

That year, we went on a college trip where we had to hike up a steep hill. The group decided to put everyone’s stuff into one single bag and take turns carrying it. They picked my bag. While they rushed to the top, I suddenly got severe altitude sickness. I couldn’t breathe, my head was spinning, and I had to walk incredibly slowly. So, I ended up having the bag with me throughout the journey as they had already left. My boyfriend and a professor stayed back to help me, and my boyfriend stepped up and carried their heavy group bag the whole way so their things wouldn't get left behind.

When we finally made it to the top and back, and met up with them, my boyfriend made a lighthearted joke, saying, "You guys should pay me, because since she couldn't carry it, I had to carry your entire group's stuff up the hill." Instead of saying thank you or laughing it off, Reese completely snapped at him, saying, "Don't you dare talk to me like that," and stormed off to the hotel room. It completely surprised me because they were actually friends.

I went into the hotel room after her to quietly ask what was wrong and calm things down. At the time, she knew we were keeping our relationship a secret and didn't want other classmates finding out. Instead of respecting my trust, she used it to humiliate me. When I asked her what was wrong, she suddenly screamed at me at the top of her lungs in front of the entire room: "Don't talk to me or joke with me like that! Go and tell this to your so-called boyfriend!" She loudly outed my secret relationship to everyone just to cause me pain. Everyone from college stared at me; some were whispering and giving me pity looks. I quietly packed my things, walked out, and while telling my boyfriend what had happened, I completely broke down in tears. He was the only one who was there for me.

A few hours later, on the bus ride back, my boyfriend hadn't arrived yet, and I was sitting there all alone, feeling extremely humiliated, judged, and lonely. My group of "friends" sat right across the aisle from me. They passed around snacks and chocolates, laughing and talking, intentionally ignoring my tears. Only Bea checked on me and asked if I was okay, shared a piece of her own share of chocolate with me, and everyone else ignored me like I didn't exist. And until a day ago, we were "best friends"

To make the situation even more sickening, Reese's hypocrisy was unreal. We needed sleeping bags and gear for the trip, and Reese didn’t have anything. She had literally borrowed a scarf from me on the trip to hide the hickeys she had gotten from her situationship a day ago on her neck, and my boyfriend had kindly offered to lend her his personal spare sleeping bag so she wouldn't freeze, which she shamelessly slept in all night.

We somehow eventually made up, and I still cared a lot about them. But maybe because my boyfriend was the only one there for me, they spent the next two years trying to sabotage us. They bitched about us to other classmates, snapped at him whenever he was nice to them, and tried to plant doubts in my head, asking me questions like, "Do you really think he loves you?" or "I don't think he is as invested as you."

For some more context, in the first year, Shayla would occasionally talk about how she thought my boyfriend was cute, how beautiful his eyes were (a year before we started dating, but she did have a boyfriend of her own outside of college at the time, though), so I don't know if she was jealous that he was with ME.

The absolute peak of their jealousy happened when I was the only one chosen from my entire department to present my research orally in front of hundreds of people. It was a big deal. Parents were invited, and I was formally rewarded with a research award. Another girl in our group, Martha, had a poster presentation.

A week before this, Shyla had to travel to her hometown. She asked to borrow my power bank for her long journey, and I gladly handed it over. But the moment she came back, everything changed. I hadn't done a single thing to anyone, but her best friend Reese clearly filled her ears with poison.

The day before my huge oral presentation, when my stress levels were through the roof, we all sat down for lunch at college. They (except for Bea) completely boycotted me. They talked exclusively amongst themselves and didn't glance my way even once while I was sitting right there at the same table. It was so suffocating that I made a quiet promise to myself to never put myself through that agony again. I just stopped showing up at their table and started having lunch in peace with my boyfriend without giving them an explanation.

The next day was the presentation. I was completely terrified, but the entire group treated me like a ghost. They stood by Martha's poster the whole day but didn't even glance at mine. They didn't wish me luck, didn't watch me speak in front of hundreds of people, and didn't say a single word to me afterward, even though my parents were standing right there with me. A day later, Shyla casually walked up to me while I was sitting alone, handed me my power bank with a flat "thanks," and just walked away. I was just a convenient tool to them.

By our final year, we did talk nicely again, but the bond was gone.

Recently, since Shyla and I were both applying to study abroad, we bonded a bit, and she helped me with the visa steps. We had a "going-away" outing at an expensive restaurant a week ago, where Reese and Bea brought a cake, but it felt entirely fake. Shyla suddenly announced it was a going-away treat from her and me and forced me to pay half for absolutely everything as a "treat." Martha, Bea, and Reese didn't spend a single dime. I sat at that table feeling so uncomfortable and out of place that I couldn't wait to run home. I realized that if Shyla wasn't the one going abroad too, they wouldn't have even bothered to buy a single crumb of cake for me, especially since they didn't even wish me a happy birthday last year.

Now that my visa is approved and my stipend is locked in, their sudden entitlement is disgusting.

Reese, the girl who screamed at me on the trip, sent me a text a day ago asking me to send over my hard-earned Statement of Purpose (SOP) and CV so she can copy them and apply for study abroad too. Shyla had also called, aggressively demanding that I carry 3kg of her clothes in my luggage because she messed up her own weight limits and is flying out a week before me. She has been continuously calling my phone, my WhatsApp, and my Instagram.

During the outing, they even tried to force a "self-invited" dinner at my house, explicitly telling me to bring in beer and drinks so they could enjoy them at my home. When I said I'll have to confirm if my parents are okay with it, they demanded I lie to my parents and just sneak in the drinks because they want to enjoy. Which is an absolute no, my parents know everything they have done to me and can't even stand them, and I'll never disrespect my parents by lying to them like that. For the dinner at my home, they kept mentioning it again and again, saying, "Do not disappoint us, okay? I am already so excited."

They are currently sending random reels into our old group chat to maybe "test" if I am active since I haven't replied to any of their messages or returned their calls. They probably think I’m a doormat who doesn't see through their manipulation, or they will call me "arrogant" and "proud" because I am leaving and ignoring them.

I’m debating sending an angry text to hold up the mirror for them or just leaving them ignored forever. Last week's treat outing was my final goodbye. I have muted and archived their chats for now. WIBTAH if I never open their texts again? Will they think I have gotten arrogant now that I have better opportunities? It isn't that I care about their opinion, but I want them to know I am cutting them off because of THEIR behavior towards me, not because I suddenly started thinking I am above them for moving to a new country.

I am flying out in a month to study abroad on a fully funded master's program with a really good stipend. As I’m packing my bags, everything that happened over the last four years of college here in my home country is finally hitting me, and I just need to get it off my chest.

Back in our freshman year, I had a group of friends in college; two of them were very close since they were friends since high school (Reese and Shyla), and the group also included Martha, me, and Bea.

In our third year, I started dating my boyfriend, and we'd initially decided to keep it private, but I had told my group of friends about us because of how much I trusted them. He was from our college too, and was good friends with my friends, as we used to frequently go on group outings, and that's how he and I got close before falling for each other.

That year, we went on a college trip where we had to hike up a steep hill. The group decided to put everyone’s stuff into one single bag and take turns carrying it. They picked my bag. While they rushed to the top, I suddenly got severe altitude sickness. I couldn’t breathe, my head was spinning, and I had to walk incredibly slowly. So, I ended up having the bag with me throughout the journey as they had already left. My boyfriend and a professor stayed back to help me, and my boyfriend stepped up and carried their heavy group bag the whole way so their things wouldn't get left behind.

When we finally made it to the top and back, and met up with them, my boyfriend made a lighthearted joke, saying, "You guys should pay me, because since she couldn't carry it, I had to carry your entire group's stuff up the hill." Instead of saying thank you or laughing it off, Reese completely snapped at him, saying, "Don't you dare talk to me like that," and stormed off to the hotel room. It completely surprised me because they were actually friends.

I went into the hotel room after her to quietly ask what was wrong and calm things down. At the time, she knew we were keeping our relationship a secret and didn't want other classmates finding out. Instead of respecting my trust, she used it to humiliate me. When I asked her what was wrong, she suddenly screamed at me at the top of her lungs in front of the entire room: "Don't talk to me or joke with me like that! Go and tell this to your so-called boyfriend!" She loudly outed my secret relationship to everyone just to cause me pain. Everyone from college stared at me; some were whispering and giving me pity looks. I quietly packed my things, walked out, and while telling my boyfriend what had happened, I completely broke down in tears. He was the only one who was there for me.

A few hours later, on the bus ride back, my boyfriend hadn't arrived yet, and I was sitting there all alone, feeling extremely humiliated, judged, and lonely. My group of "friends" sat right across the aisle from me. They passed around snacks and chocolates, laughing and talking, intentionally ignoring my tears. Only Bea checked on me and asked if I was okay, shared a piece of her own share of chocolate with me, and everyone else ignored me like I didn't exist. And until a day ago, we were "best friends"

To make the situation even more sickening, Reese's hypocrisy was unreal. We needed sleeping bags and gear for the trip, and Reese didn’t have anything. She had literally borrowed a scarf from me on the trip to hide the hickeys she had gotten from her situationship a day ago on her neck, and my boyfriend had kindly offered to lend her his personal spare sleeping bag so she wouldn't freeze, which she shamelessly slept in all night.

We somehow eventually made up, and I still cared a lot about them. But maybe because my boyfriend was the only one there for me, they spent the next two years trying to sabotage us. They bitched about us to other classmates, snapped at him whenever he was nice to them, and tried to plant doubts in my head, asking me questions like, "Do you really think he loves you?" or "I don't think he is as invested as you."

For some more context, in the first year, Shayla would occasionally talk about how she thought my boyfriend was cute, how beautiful his eyes were (a year before we started dating, but she did have a boyfriend of her own outside of college at the time, though), so I don't know if she was jealous that he was with ME.

The absolute peak of their jealousy happened when I was the only one chosen from my entire department to present my research orally in front of hundreds of people. It was a big deal. Parents were invited, and I was formally rewarded with a research award. Another girl in our group, Martha, had a poster presentation.

A week before this, Shyla had to travel to her hometown. She asked to borrow my power bank for her long journey, and I gladly handed it over. But the moment she came back, everything changed. I hadn't done a single thing to anyone, but her best friend Reese clearly filled her ears with poison.

The day before my huge oral presentation, when my stress levels were through the roof, we all sat down for lunch at college. They (except for Bea) completely boycotted me. They talked exclusively amongst themselves and didn't glance my way even once while I was sitting right there at the same table. It was so suffocating that I made a quiet promise to myself to never put myself through that agony again. I just stopped showing up at their table and started having lunch in peace with my boyfriend without giving them an explanation.

The next day was the presentation. I was completely terrified, but the entire group treated me like a ghost. They stood by Martha's poster the whole day but didn't even glance at mine. They didn't wish me luck, didn't watch me speak in front of hundreds of people, and didn't say a single word to me afterward, even though my parents were standing right there with me. A day later, Shyla casually walked up to me while I was sitting alone, handed me my power bank with a flat "thanks," and just walked away. I was just a convenient tool to them.

By our final year, we did talk nicely again, but the bond was gone.

Recently, since Shyla and I were both applying to study abroad, we bonded a bit, and she helped me with the visa steps. We had a "going-away" outing at an expensive restaurant a week ago, where Reese and Bea brought a cake, but it felt entirely fake. Shyla suddenly announced it was a going-away treat from her and me and forced me to pay half for absolutely everything as a "treat." Martha, Bea, and Reese didn't spend a single dime. I sat at that table feeling so uncomfortable and out of place that I couldn't wait to run home. I realized that if Shyla wasn't the one going abroad too, they wouldn't have even bothered to buy a single crumb of cake for me, especially since they didn't even wish me a happy birthday last year.

Now that my visa is approved and my stipend is locked in, their sudden entitlement is disgusting.

Reese, the girl who screamed at me on the trip, sent me a text a day ago asking me to send over my hard-earned Statement of Purpose (SOP) and CV so she can copy them and apply for study abroad too. Shyla had also called, aggressively demanding that I carry 3kg of her clothes in my luggage because she messed up her own weight limits and is flying out a week before me. She has been continuously calling my phone, my WhatsApp, and my Instagram.

During the outing, they even tried to force a "self-invited" dinner at my house, explicitly telling me to bring in beer and drinks so they could enjoy them at my home. When I said I'll have to confirm if my parents are okay with it, they demanded I lie to my parents and just sneak in the drinks because they want to enjoy. Which is an absolute no, my parents know everything they have done to me and can't even stand them, and I'll never disrespect my parents by lying to them like that. For the dinner at my home, they kept mentioning it again and again, saying, "Do not disappoint us, okay? I am already so excited."

They are currently sending random reels into our old group chat to maybe "test" if I am active since I haven't replied to any of their messages or returned their calls. They probably think I’m a doormat who doesn't see through their manipulation, or they will call me "arrogant" and "proud" because I am leaving and ignoring them.

I’m debating sending an angry text to hold up the mirror for them or just leaving them ignored forever. Last week's treat outing was my final goodbye. I have muted and archived their chats for now.

I really need some outside perspectives on this because my anxiety is through the roof and my brain won't stop overthinking.

Context: We are Asian, so cultural norms and strict family dynamics play a huge role here.

My BF and I recently graduated from the same college a few months ago. College is where we met, and we have been together for more than 3 years.

Ever since I’ve known him, he has been a very strict, passionate non-smoker. He actually loathed it. If we ever went to a cafe with a smoking zone, he’d get upset, say it suffocated him, and worry about his health (he has a specific medical condition that makes being around smoke genuinely risky). He even used to avoid hanging out with certain friends because they smoked, and if someone lit up near him, he’d visibly turn away. He told me he found the habit disgusting.

He also doesn't drink due to his health issues, even though his culture heavily encourages it. At our graduation get-together a few months ago, our friends and I ordered drinks, and he happily stayed sober, took a tiny sip of mine just to taste it, and took amazing care of me when I got drunk. He never judged me.

But lately, things have gotten weird. He’s currently in a career gap, staying at home all day with his strict parents, and I am moving abroad very soon. Because we are Asian, he still lives under his parents' roof, and the pressure on him right now is immense.

A few nights ago, on the phone, out of nowhere, he asked me: "What if I were addicted to smoking or alcohol? Would that bother you?" I told him a smoking addiction would definitely bother me, but casual drinking at parties wouldn't, given they happened like once a few months on special occasions. When I asked why he was asking, he brushed it off vaguely, saying he just read an article related to addiction. He also started asking if I wished he drank with me so I didn't feel left out, and said things like "it might bother you in the future." I reassured him right then that I respected his choice and loved that he’s sober and that it makes me feel safe instead of left out. He seemed relieved by my answer, so I assumed it was just a hypothetical insecurity check.

But today we met up after a month. He was attending a wedding with his family at a venue that happened to be very close to my home. Since he was in my neighborhood, he asked if we could meet for a bit, and I went out to see him. When I arrived, he looked visibly miserable, sweating in a tight suit, and immediately told me he was extremely stressed because he had just gotten into a fight with his parents at the venue and walked out without telling anyone. He also mentioned his cousins hadn't yet arrived, and that they left his text "on seen" and he felt completely alone.

I tried to console him and suggested a nearby cafe in my area where we could spend some time and talk. He instantly asked, "Do people smoke there?" I said hopefully not, thinking he wanted to avoid it. He laughed a bit and said, "Why are you saying hopefully? I'm asking because I want to smoke right now. I'm really stressed."

I was completely stunned. I asked him what the hell he was talking about since he literally hates smoking. He just chuckled and brushed it aside, refusing to answer. While we were sitting at the cafe, he said it again: "I really want to have a smoke." I pushed him on it, asking if someone pressured him into smoking or what was wrong, and told him he could talk to me if he was stressed, but he just laughed it off and said he was "just saying it for no reason." But crucially, he never denied that he smokes.

When we were there, though, I didn't smell any smoke on him. He was his usual self, kind, caring, and attentive towards me. Nothing in our dynamic has changed.

While we were leaving, he randomly brought up hookah, saying since I tried it once, I must not mind it, so maybe we should go to a hookah lounge together sometime. (Again, totally, extremely unlike him). I asked, "What is up with you? Why have you suddenly changed?" to which he just laughed again and said, "I haven't changed."

When we left the cafe, I insisted on walking with him till the bus stop so I could get him on the bus, but he didn't let me. He insisted I go home early so I wouldn't have to walk back alone. I pushed him a bit, but didn't want to cause any more stress for him. He had come to me to feel better when he was having a bad day, so I stayed quiet.

After we said goodbye, I watched him cross the street twice and walk in the opposite direction of his actual bus stop. My overthinking brain immediately went to: Is he walking away to go buy cigarettes and smoke alone? I called him a few minutes later, and he claimed he was just standing waiting for the bus, and I didn't call him out on the wrong direction because he was already having a horrible day. He texted me a few minutes later, saying his bus had just arrived late, and now he was heading back to the wedding.

Part of me wonders if he's pulling a weird, prolonged "test" or prank on me because he's insecure about his career gap and me moving abroad soon. Since he lives with strict Asian parents, there's no way he could easily or safely smoke at home without getting caught. But his demand to smoke today felt so real, not like a joke.

I am not judging him for smoking, if he really is, but this is like I don't even know this person. The sudden personality change is weirding and stressing me out.

Is it possible for someone to completely flip on a massive health boundary and core values just from extreme stress? Could he be hiding a secret habit he picked up recently, or did he just hit a breaking point today? How do I even bring this up to him without making him shut down?

We are both 24-year-olds and have been together for more than 3 years.

Yesterday I found out that my U.S. student visa was approved. I've been working toward this for a long time, and he was one of the only people who knew everything that was happening throughout the application process. I trusted him with something I hadn't even told my friends yet.

Last night, around 10 PM, I texted him and said I had something important to tell him and asked if I could call. He said he was with his family, so I told him to let me know when he was free.

After that, I went to talk to my mom. When I came back about 30 minutes later, I saw he had texted asking where I had disappeared to. I replied and asked if I could call now.

Instead of calling, he asked what I wanted to talk about. I said I wanted to tell him on a call but asked if I should just text it instead. He said yes, so I texted him, "My visa got approved."

And guess what? His response wasn't congratulations, excitement, or even acknowledgment. He completely ignored it and said, "Is that why you've been busy?"

I explained that I wasn't busy; I was just talking to my mom. Then he started complaining that I took too long to reply and told me to look at the timestamps.

I asked what was wrong, and he said "nothing" and went offline.

I called him because I was confused. He declined my calls multiple times. When he finally answered, he immediately started yelling at me, saying, "Why are you calling me now? Stop calling me on your terms."

The thing is, I call him every day. He's usually the one who's busy or disappears for hours, and I never make a big deal out of it. I disappear for 30 minutes one time, and suddenly it's a huge issue.

When I tried asking why he was acting like this, he literally told me to "shut up" and hung up on me.

I ended up crying. I felt completely heartbroken because all I wanted was to share one of the biggest achievements of my life with someone I love.

I sent him a long message explaining my side and how hurt I was. He responded, saying that I didn't care that he was waiting for me after I said I had something important to tell him.

I told him I did care and tried to explain, but he cut me off and said, "Don't call or text me anymore."

I couldn't sleep all night after that.

I ended up crying all night, feeling alone and unloved when I should have been celebrating with my partner. Any healthy partner would be happy for me, right? He had already gone to sleep, but I stayed up till 4 am and sent him texts on how I felt, which he hasn't seen yet, but I know, when he does, he won't even acknowledge how he made me feel. In his eyes, I am always the one at fault, no matter what the situation is.

There was not even a moment of acknowledgement from him. If it were the other way around, I would have been over the moon happy for him. I have always supported him, but when I am the one who needs support, this is exactly what happens. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm starting to realize a pattern where important moments in my life somehow become centered around him instead. Earlier this year, we had an argument and fought a day before my birthday, and the next day, he didn't even wish me. When I'd called him myself, he'd yelled at me that he didn't want to talk. We moved past it, though, and resolved everything. But for how long?

Am I overreacting here by thinking this isn't solvable anymore?

We are both 24-year-olds and have been together for more than 3 years.

Yesterday I found out that my U.S. student visa was approved. I've been working toward this for a long time, and he was one of the only people who knew everything that was happening throughout the application process. I trusted him with something I hadn't even told my friends yet.

Last night, around 10 PM, I texted him and said I had something important to tell him and asked if I could call. He said he was with his family, so I told him to let me know when he was free.

After that, I went to talk to my mom. When I came back about 30 minutes later, I saw he had texted asking where I had disappeared to. I replied and asked if I could call now.

Instead of calling, he asked what I wanted to talk about. I said I wanted to tell him on a call but asked if I should just text it instead. He said yes, so I texted him, "My visa got approved."

And guess what? His response wasn't congratulations, excitement, or even acknowledgment. He completely ignored it and said, "Is that why you've been busy?"

I explained that I wasn't busy; I was just talking to my mom. Then he started complaining that I took too long to reply and told me to look at the timestamps.

I asked what was wrong, and he said "nothing" and went offline.

I called him because I was confused. He declined my calls multiple times. When he finally answered, he immediately started yelling at me, saying, "Why are you calling me now? Stop calling me on your terms."

The thing is, I call him every day. He's usually the one who's busy or disappears for hours, and I never make a big deal out of it. I disappear for 30 minutes one time, and suddenly it's a huge issue.

When I tried asking why he was acting like this, he literally told me to "shut up" and hung up on me.

I ended up crying. I felt completely heartbroken because all I wanted was to share one of the biggest achievements of my life with someone I love.

I sent him a long message explaining my side and how hurt I was. He responded, saying that I didn't care that he was waiting for me after I said I had something important to tell him.

I told him I did care and tried to explain, but he cut me off and said, "Don't call or text me anymore."

I couldn't sleep all night after that.

I ended up crying all night, feeling alone and unloved when I should have been celebrating with my partner. Any healthy partner would be happy for me, right? He had already gone to sleep, but I stayed up till 4 am and sent him texts on how I felt, which he hasn't seen yet, but I know, when he does, he won't even acknowledge how he made me feel. In his eyes, I am always the one at fault, no matter what the situation is.

There was not even a moment of acknowledgement from him. If it were the other way around, I would have been over the moon happy for him. I have always supported him, but when I am the one who needs support, this is exactly what happens. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm starting to realize a pattern where important moments in my life somehow become centered around him instead. Earlier this year, we had an argument and fought a day before my birthday, and the next day, he didn't even wish me. When I'd called him myself, he'd yelled at me that he didn't want to talk. We moved past it, though, and resolved everything. But for how long?

I am tired of always being understanding and supportive but never receiving the same. I am beginning to resent him right now.

We are both 24-year-olds and have been together for more than 3 years.

Yesterday I found out that my U.S. student visa was approved. I've been working toward this for a long time, and he was one of the only people who knew everything that was happening throughout the application process. I trusted him with something I hadn't even told my friends yet.

Last night, around 10 PM, I texted him and said I had something important to tell him and asked if I could call. He said he was with his family, so I told him to let me know when he was free.

After that, I went to talk to my mom. When I came back about 30 minutes later, I saw he had texted asking where I had disappeared to. I replied and asked if I could call now.

Instead of calling, he asked what I wanted to talk about. I said I wanted to tell him on a call but asked if I should just text it instead. He said yes, so I texted him, "My visa got approved."

And guess what? His response wasn't congratulations, excitement, or even acknowledgment. He completely ignored it and said, "Is that why you've been busy?"

I explained that I wasn't busy; I was just talking to my mom. Then he started complaining that I took too long to reply and told me to look at the timestamps.

I asked what was wrong, and he said "nothing" and went offline.

I called him because I was confused. He declined my calls multiple times. When he finally answered, he immediately started yelling at me, saying, "Why are you calling me now? Stop calling me on your terms."

The thing is, I call him every day. He's usually the one who's busy or disappears for hours, and I never make a big deal out of it. I disappear for 30 minutes one time, and suddenly it's a huge issue.

When I tried asking why he was acting like this, he literally told me to "shut up" and hung up on me.

I ended up crying. I felt completely heartbroken because all I wanted was to share one of the biggest achievements of my life with someone I love.

I sent him a long message explaining my side and how hurt I was. He responded, saying that I didn't care that he was waiting for me after I said I had something important to tell him.

I told him I did care and tried to explain, but he cut me off and said, "Don't call or text me anymore."

I couldn't sleep all night after that.

I ended up crying all night, feeling alone and unloved when I should have been celebrating with my partner. Any healthy partner would be happy for me, right? He had already gone to sleep, but I stayed up till 4 am and sent him texts on how I felt, which he hasn't seen yet, but I know, when he does, he won't even acknowledge how he made me feel. In his eyes, I am always the one at fault, no matter what the situation is.

There was not even a moment of acknowledgement from him. If it were the other way around, I would have been over the moon happy for him. I have always supported him, but when I am the one who needs support, this is exactly what happens. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm starting to realize a pattern where important moments in my life somehow become centered around him instead. Earlier this year, we had an argument and fought a day before my birthday, and the next day, he didn't even wish me. When I'd called him myself, he'd yelled at me that he didn't want to talk. We moved past it, though, and resolved everything. But for how long?

I am tired of always being understanding and supportive but never receiving the same. I am beginning to resent him right now.

We are both 24-year-olds and have been together for more than 3 years.

Yesterday I found out that my U.S. student visa was approved. I've been working toward this for a long time, and he was one of the only people who knew everything that was happening throughout the application process. I trusted him with something I hadn't even told my friends yet.

Last night, around 10 PM, I texted him and said I had something important to tell him and asked if I could call. He said he was with his family, so I told him to let me know when he was free.

After that, I went to talk to my mom. When I came back about 30 minutes later, I saw he had texted asking where I had disappeared to. I replied and asked if I could call now.

Instead of calling, he asked what I wanted to talk about. I said I wanted to tell him on a call but asked if I should just text it instead. He said yes, so I texted him, "My visa got approved."

And guess what? His response wasn't congratulations, excitement, or even acknowledgment. He completely ignored it and said, "Is that why you've been busy?"

I explained that I wasn't busy; I was just talking to my mom. Then he started complaining that I took too long to reply and told me to look at the timestamps.

I asked what was wrong, and he said "nothing" and went offline.

I called him because I was confused. He declined my calls multiple times. When he finally answered, he immediately started yelling at me, saying, "Why are you calling me now? Stop calling me on your terms."

The thing is, I call him every day. He's usually the one who's busy or disappears for hours, and I never make a big deal out of it. I disappear for 30 minutes one time, and suddenly it's a huge issue.

When I tried asking why he was acting like this, he literally said “chup” and hung up on me.

I ended up crying. I felt completely heartbroken because all I wanted was to share one of the biggest achievements of my life with someone I love.

I sent him a long message explaining my side and how hurt I was. He responded, saying “ma parkhirako thiye ke kura raicha bhanera tara timlai matlab chaina maile wait gareko”

I told him “matlab cha” and tried to explain, but he cut me off and said, "aba call/text nagara 🙏🏼"

I couldn't sleep all night after that.

I ended up crying all night, feeling alone and unloved when I should have been celebrating with my partner. Any healthy partner would be happy for me, right? He had already gone to sleep, but I stayed up till 4 am and sent him texts on how I felt, which he hasn't seen yet, but I know, when he does, he won't even acknowledge how he made me feel. In his eyes, I am always the one at fault, no matter what the situation is.

There was not even a moment of acknowledgement from him. If it were the other way around, I would have been over the moon happy for him. I have always supported him, but when I am the one who needs support, this is exactly what happens. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm starting to realize a pattern where important moments in my life somehow become centered around him instead. Earlier this year, we had an argument and fought a day before my birthday, and the next day, he didn't even wish me. When I'd called him myself, he'd yelled at me that he didn't want to talk. We moved past it, though, and resolved everything. But for how long? Maile jati adjust garepani ma nai wrong hunchu, maile gareko nai kaile pugdaina and he doesn’t even do 5% of it for me.

I am tired of always being understanding and supportive but never receiving the same. I am beginning to resent him right now.