u/Pure_Choice_8459

Hi team. I am dad to a teen girl (14.5 yrs old).
Recently she has become friends with a new group of girls in her class, she goes to an all girls public school ( for context : we live in New Zealand so it’s not super fancy or ‘private’ but it IS a decent school and single sex high schools are common here).
Anyways, there is a new group of girls she’s friends with who are maybe a little more rebellious than her previous group of junior high friends. My issue is this:
In a few weeks one of them is having a party at her house, my kid is being a bit cagey about it as to whether there will be any drinking or guys there or anything like that. Her mum and I (we share custody and have been broken up since daughter was 5) are on the same page that we need some info and whether parents will be there etc etc…
The party is quite far away on her friend’s parents farm (the girl boards at the school… again not as fancy as it sounds.
My gut feeling is that my kid is too young for this as she and a couple of other friends will be staying the night there (I’ll be dropping them off and picking them up).
I haven’t met the parents and want to talk to them beforehand, my kid is quite responsible but also strong willed. Her mum and I aren’t super strict but we are involved parents so she knows not to fuck is over. Daughter is adamant she won’t drink if there is any alcohol snuck in. Anyways; who’s been through this and how do I deal with it.
I don’t want her to not go necessarily but I AM concerned. She’s a smart kid but a bit naive.
HELLLLLP!

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Having a really hard time this week. Been dealing with sick kid, lots of work and haven’t had time to get to the gym.

Fallen off the programme and looking for some support.

So my daughter is 14 now and her mum and I have been co-parenting (sometimes not well but lately MUCH BETTER) since my daughter was 5.

For a long time we had a plan in place that my daughter stayed with me every second weekend Friday til Tuesday. Now that she’s 14 though she is starting to make more decisions for herself, lately she’s expressed that every second weekend isn’t working for her (she has to bring stuff with her when she stays but not a whole lot since she has stuff like hairdryer, makeup all the teen stuff here which I’ve always made sure of)

I guess for other parents and esp the dads out there, how have you dealt with this time of growth and stuff. I don’t wanna be pushy or needy or have her do anything she doesn’t want to, I guess though… I miss her being around.

It should be said that her mum and I live close by 5kms from each other and I do see my daughter quite a bit since I drop her to the school bus and do sports stuff with her each weekend. Okay enough of me… what are your thoughts on the best way to manage these years and issues

Thanks team

Without doxxing myself I will say that I work for an NGO and have had a complaint laid against me by another worker regarding my conduct. Nothing sexual. Nothing workplace bullying related.
General clash of work style and some poor communication which led to my coworker feeling uncomfortable working with me.

I will be having a meeting with HR in the coming days which will hopefully work out okay as it is a relatively minor matter which could perhaps have been sorted out with a mediated conversation however it is what it is now.

What should I expect and what should I prepare for? Never been in this situation in my life. Generally worked in non office environments where disputes were settled informally.

Thanks in advance for advice.

Okay let me have it for real…

This is a request to the women out there that have lived through the teenage years themselves.

I’m a dad to a 14 almost 15 year old daughter. Her mum and I aren’t together and I have been having her every second weekend and see her during the week when I do school runs or practices or stuff like that. She’s recently communicated to her mum that she doesn’t want to be on a strict schedule for days she stays etc. She used to live with me full time, but that changed 18 months ago and she stays with her mum most of the time now. I got sick and needed her mums help.

Lately I’ve noticed the pulling away and individuating is starting to really kick in. I’m okay with it and know it’s right and appropriate and natural but part of me also feels like it’s a dagger into the heart and also lost as to how to address it as I’ve not lived the life of a teenaged girl- obviously. So a question to the women of the sub.

What was it like for YOU being that age?

What was happening in your mind and what were the things you needed from your dad?

What did you think and feel about stuff?

I’d love to know how best to support my kid in these times so I’m asking what was it actually like for you all as young women?

Thanks and be well.

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