u/Purple-lionesss

I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible, but my mom moved into assisted-living at the end of June after a full month of me taking her car keys away at the end of May and then not eating and drinking every day and crying and asking when she would feel normal and begging me for alcohol and finding beer cans in closets, etc. My sister and I had to pack up her whole apartment and move her and do everything for her financially and now she is livid that she’s living there. She can’t walk anywhere and the only place she wants to walk to is a liquor store because she didn’t go anywhere when she lived in her apartment and I offered to sign her up for exercise classes or volunteering or get her an Uber account and she said she just wants to move out so I said fine. You’re not a prisoner. Find a place sign a lease. Pay them pack your stuff and move. None of which she can do. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and can’t remember that, and when I remind her, she says she doesn’t agree with that diagnosis or believe it, even after the neurologist did 1 million test.

My dad (separately) died this week and she doesn’t remember and so when she calls me ranting and raving, I’m like mom dad died this week and I’m trying to deal with everything. I’m the executor of his estate and I know she deserves kindness, but I don’t have anything left in me for her. So I just said if you wanna move then move. I didn’t say I’m not helping, but that was implied I think. I don’t know what I’m asking but has anyone been through this? Am I a terrible person? I was so much closer to my dad, but I am also living the closest to my mom of my siblings and do everything for her including pay her bills.

And have to be separated for any outings. And then the goal seems to be as mean as possible to the other cast members, laughing at their embarrassment. None of them are friends (except maybe Emily and Gina) and they just talk shit about everyone while laughing. The complete opposite of what it’s supposed to be and how it used to be. Was there drama before? Yes. But the meanness is just out of hand - and they all think they are funny and clever for being mean. It’s a bizarre season.

So many housewives there - in costume, so I felt like I could not understand any of the conversations or dynamics or who everyone was, especially without having watched a few of the franchises. It felt so chaotic to me! I liked the UGTs with them just getting to know each other.

Is Nate driving a car or motorcycle with seizures? That’s illegal in every state - not even addressed slightly

Remind me of Lynne Curtain and her daughters. It’s not going to go well for them.

And I don’t know how she got through med school. She doesn’t know words. She doesn’t know how to play tic tac toe. I have a kid in med school and these kids are so smart and hard working - how did she do it??

It is white that has been yellowed over time - it’s old so I am concerned about how delicate it is but would like to try to remove the yellowing/stains. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I have a question about this because with really dirty/smelly clothes I was using hot water and FEBU (along with detergent of course) and then I read that the enzymes work better in warm water and I’m wondering what the cost benefit is.

Like will I get more benefit out of using hot water even if the FEBU doesn’t work as well or should I use warm water to get a better result with the FEBU even though warm water isn’t going to clean as well as hot water?

I know weather was bad but a huge area for like 12 people and no vibes and buffet food - god that looked depressing and no one - except maybe Danny - wanted to be there. Awful “do it for the money” vibe cast event.

Both seem to be slurring their words immediately when they drink. I can’t tell if they are pounding when everyone is sipping or if they just have a very intense immediate reaction to alcohol as soon as they start drinking! But it’s gotten so obvious with both of them.

This is about my mom. Sorry it will be long.

Two weeks ago I got a call from my sister saying my mom was in a parking lot in her car without her keys and I drove over there and found my mom wandering around in the rain. She said her car had been there since the night before, but didn’t know how she had gotten home the day before or how she had gotten back that day. I asked if she had put her name in the store and she said no so we went in and they didn’t have her keys. When I brought her home, we looked at her credit card and saw that there was a charge from a towing company that my mom did not remember calling and said they did not tow her car which I know because it was in the grocery store parking lot. I still don’t know how she got home or back. She got a call that night from the grocery store saying they had found her keys and she had no memory of giving them her name and phone number. When we went to pick up her keys, I found out that they were in the liquor department, which is the only place my mom seems to visit. She’s barely eating.

I took her car keys away that day with the support of my siblings. None of whom who have called her or visited her and I know they live further away than I do, but basically I’m the bad guy. Since then, my mother is in a deep depression and only walks to a liquor store and won’t take phone calls and won’t take up my daily offer to take her to the grocery store or to the mall or just visit. Even though I have a full-time job.

We don’t have an appointment with a neurologist until August, so I made an appointment with her primary care doctor and said that if he agrees she should have her keys back, I will give them to her. But she literally cannot make new memories at this point. She is self-sufficient, lives alone, has a pet, but I don’t feel safe giving her car keys back, and I don’t think the doctor will either. And she has expressed no desire to quit drinking.

I feel like moving her into a memory care facility at this point would really destroy her and think she is safe as long as she’s not driving, but this is such an overwhelming process. Has anyone been through something similar?

I changed my routine to stop using chlorine bleach. I use Tide free and clear liquid, Febu and Oxi powder for my whites now - on hot with citric acid rinse. But they aren’t that white any more - any ideas why or suggestions? Thanks.

They are divorced and have been for 40 years. My dad had a stroke a few years ago and immediately fired the home health aid that we hired for him and lives rambling around in his house and will undoubtedly die a grizzly death because he’ll fall down the stairs and bleed, but he has absolutely no willingness to do the health procedures or take precautions that he needs. My mom on the other hand has dementia and drinks. Every day. She forgets everything but remembers to hide her drinking from me which I can see when I occasionally get her phone and look at her debit purchases every single day at the liquor store. She also drives and lives alone. I’m trying to give them grace and let them age the way they want to, but I have siblings who don’t live near here and everything falls on me and they keep saying nothing to do until something bad happens and I don’t want to get to that point but I also feel like with my life and a full-time job and three young adult children I can’t handle it all. I’m not really asking for advice other than wondering if anyone else is in the same spot and how you’re handling it.

I have top loader speed queen.

For colors I use Tide free and clear liquid to line one with a spoon of Febu and citric acid rinse in fabric softener compartment. For whites I do the same but add a scoop of Oxi powder.

I have washing soda and borax and add some for certain loads - like workout clothes or cleaning rags.

Is that enough? Overkill? Thanks!

Also I don’t use fabric softener or dryer sheets - but am I right that the unstoppable beads are fine in the wash?

Andy made a comment that they are filming now and she’s really going through it. Does anyone know what they are talking about? It was the episode when Lindsay Hubbard and Bailey were on.