u/Puzzleheaded-Mall748

I dont have a wifi router anymore, only mobile hotspot. Whats the cheapest replacement for my Nintento switch to accept my internet and what would be a genuine good recommendation or investment? No use if my internet becomes crappy.

I dont have a wifi router anymore, only mobile hotspot. Whats the cheapest replacement for my Nintento switch to accept my internet and what would be a genuine good recommendation or investment? No use if my internet becomes crappy.

How should i establish boundaries prior to marriage?

I told my friend of mine that i preferred to be honest about things my heart cant take. For example not wearing proper hijab, men or women, as i was raised very modest myself. I also respect and wouldn’t complain if women would reject me, i simply would at least like to be honest by saying that if this boundary should be crossed i would prefer divorce than to accept this as my marriage.

Taking off hijab is not a small thing so i obviously imply a general change of heart and being determined in it, not just a small disagreement or argument.

He however took it as an offense and said he would never tell that any possible wali, as this could make them angry at me and make them reject me. It making ne look weak and rather resort to divorce than solution seeking. In fact, he now felt that way himself towards me.

Especially that last sentence hurt me because i never intended on marrying from his family yet it seemed like he was extremely disappointed of me.

Reflecting on it, it seems like he sees me as a preferred partner for his own sister while i just spoke to him about this in confidence as a knowledgeable brother.

Btw just for context, im known as a moderate person, regularly humbling friends who are extremely anti feminism who even generalize all in it AND i didnt ask on his opinion to terrorize my future wife or anything, i even explained my thought exactly like this;

There are sins between you and Allah. If those hurt me somehow it would be unfair of me to get angry at her while Allah forgives her. So instead of provoking too harsh fights or debates i want to make clear prior to marriage that if she determines such thing that hurts me, we shoukd rather divorce than fight.

Genuinely, i felt so hurt by his open disappointment in me because i try so hard to be modest and gentle in my opinions, especially in topics regarding women.

It really feels as if he only feels this way because of his high hopes in me and simple emotionality.

If theres another reason please be honest, i cant bear disappointing someone i like this much by accident.

I told my friend of mine that i preferred to be honest about things my heart cant take. For example not wearing proper hijab, men or women, as i was raised very modest myself. I also respect and wouldn’t complain if women would reject me, i simply would at least like to be honest by saying that if this boundary should be crossed i would prefer divorce than to accept this as my marriage.

Taking off hijab is not a small thing so i obviously imply a general change of heart and being determined in it, not just a small disagreement or argument.

He however took it as an offense and said he would never tell that any possible wali, as this could make them angry at me and make them reject me. It making ne look weak and rather resort to divorce than solution seeking. In fact, he now felt that way himself towards me.

Especially that last sentence hurt me because i never intended on marrying from his family yet it seemed like he was extremely disappointed of me.

Reflecting on it, it seems like he sees me as a preferred partner for his own sister while i just spoke to him about this in confidence as a knowledgeable brother.

Btw just for context, im known as a moderate person, regularly humbling friends who are extremely anti feminism who even generalize all in it AND i didnt ask on his opinion to terrorize my future wife or anything, i even explained my thought exactly like this;

There are sins between you and Allah. If those hurt me somehow it would be unfair of me to get angry at her while Allah forgives her. So instead of provoking too harsh fights or debates i want to make clear prior to marriage that if she determines such thing that hurts me, we shoukd rather divorce than fight.

Genuinely, i felt so hurt by his open disappointment in me because i try so hard to be modest and gentle in my opinions, especially in topics regarding women.

It really feels as if he only feels this way because of his high hopes in me and simple emotionality.

If theres another reason please be honest, i cant bear disappointing someone i like this much by accident.

If it were up to ideals i would of course avoid divorce as well but it simply shouldn’t be a taboo topic considering societal circumstances.

For context, im considered a good person in character and not known for causing problems, rather reserved when it comes to fights and extremely communicative, often called for mediation between parties even.

The issue is people are frequently becoming more unreliable and i in fact do fight for parties to improve and work on issues together but since im small i was taught to be pessimistic about humans and to rely rather on yourself. Now i was rebellious to that idea till i turned adult and so did my friends which opened the door to many sins which influenced the quality and relations between us and others, like bringing in Zina as a normal subject or consumption of normalized drugs like alcohol.

Otherwise poor behavior is also always simply either accepted or crashed out about. I am being genuine when i say that even my family rather fights and screams and abuses verbally than discusses issues and sadly that goes for many friends as well, despite me being the outlier for refusing ignorance or abuse as the only options.

Now im at a point where i live alone and dont have the time to put up such fights and i accept that most people are like that.

Friends ive had for 20 years randomly decide to fall into sins and sometime try to normalize it to the point we fall apart to the point that anytime i make new friends i clarify to them that i in fact will simply distance myself or clearly break contact if they start to abuse themselves or me, simply because i dont see the value in being around people that cannot even be loyal to themselves.

Why would i either be a Teacher or beggar? Id rather only befriend and live with people who are and stay mostly humble to a principle and teachers to improve themselves and their lives.

So my question now would be, why would i enslave myself to my partner just because we are supposed to love each other?

The same logic for my friends should apply at least the same if not harsher for my wife.

Ive received attention from particularly religious sisters, wether through direct contact or very clear signs by their friends.

Now mind you, in my country im considered short for a guy at barely 5‘8 next to an average of 6‘0 and not standing out facially as well. Im a bit overweight, not extremely, but i have a belly and visible facial fat and otherwise im facially quite alright.

If i had to assess reasons it would obviously be because of my confidence in religion, where i live men, even if they wear a beard, trim it to not seem suspicious and if religious, often go to extremes in their interactions with women.

They either completely distance themselves and seem actually nervous when approached by women or are completely unhinged and treat them just like friends.

I do whats in the middle, i avoid talking to them or being physically close at all but if im approached, i speak confidently and direct.

TLDR; Sisters seem to be desperate in marriage and look out specifically for balanced confident religious men, that is because whenever i was approached or shown interest in, it was by specifically highlighting their own respect for boundaries, and aside from my character i dont stick out too much.

Correct me if im wrong but im about 5‘7-5‘8, 20yo, average looking and i dont struggle at all with women.

Im not married yet but i get approached or very clear signs of interest without trying.

The only people struggling with women seem to be friends that arent around them at all, for example those who study computer science

Im very strict to myself regarding marriage requirements but i have 4 different Muslim women which have approached me regarding marriage in my Semester and some non muslim women.

I said that i needed to lay some groundwork to decide clearly, manage my time etc and would decide then.

If i reject all and dont get married at all i fear fitna

If i marry i fear responsibility, as im not independent financially and i fear that my lack of ability would show on my wives character

I also fear that these women may just be attracted to me but have higher standards that they make out to have.

My Stats:

Studying medicine, living alone, struggling to work part time while studying, 20/M

Interests:

Fitness, Religious education, Good grades

My plan would be to directly approach women that interest me and to first ask to speak to the father snd bond with them to have a good understanding of their character roots and how they imagine the dynamics, only then i would clear my doubts.

Unless women sincerely do not struggle regarding Zina at all, why isnt there a prominent desire to marry even without expecting much?

If you look at my posts history you’ll see that i do not personally advocate for very restrictive marriage requirements, i at least would want to provide a house and decent life and some free time together

But looking at how much people struggle i just wonder, are we straight up backwards?

Also, i know for a fact that women desire marriage as much, i live in a semi rich environment where women do in fact have enough to have high standards, yet i still get unrequited attention from sisters, so how will sisters feel among less fortunate areas where the men have it much harder supporting a marriage?

It genuinely isnt wrong to want to get married while studying with no job, or maybe only a small part time thing to prove responsibility amongst the family.

And i know for a fact women desire the same, what good is a old bitter man, frustrated from being semi isolated socially?

Unless women sincerely do not struggle regarding Zina at all, why isnt there a prominent desire to marry even without expecting much?

If you look at my posts history you’ll see that i do not personally advocate for very restrictive marriage requirements, i at least would want to provide a house and decent life and some free time together

But looking at how much people struggle i just wonder, are we straight up retarded?

Also, i know for a fact that women desire marriage as much, i live in a semi rich environment where women do in fact have enough to have high standards, yet i still get unrequited attention from sisters, so how will sisters feel among less fortunate areas where the men have it much harder supporting a marriage?

It genuinely doesnt seem dumb to want to get married while studying with no job, or maybe only a small part time thing to prove responsibility amongst the family.

And i know for a fact women desire the same, what good is a old bitter man, frustrated from being semi isolated socially?

I am being supported by family financially and so are my colleagues in university.

Ive now made a Timetable to genuinely max out my time to work while studying to be able to get married.

I already have trust in Allah so regardless of your advices, worst case i will seek out muslim communities in my surroundings and try to prove my character to them so that at least a trusting smart Man will trust his daughter to me.

The issue is i will have genuinely almost no time in my day at all to be social but aside from that, i will hardly be able to attend any classes.

At the best case, may Allah bless me and ease me and forgive me and make me of the thankful slaves of him and of the righteous ones, i will have enough time to Study and Work and about 4-5 rushed Hours, including showering/eating, of free time, possibly used for fitness as well. So excluding fitness, maybe 2.30h.

And aside from all that, maybe 6h of sleep, if i dont combine prayers. Im Hanafi and my parents, may Allah bless them, have trained me to pray always on time and as early as possible, so i havent tried that yet.

I will possibly make a post here asking for potential spouses, simply to discuss what sisters think of this and maybe find someone fitting.

Ich hab Top leistungen, war aber was Schule/Uni angeht immer Privat, nicht wirklich viel mit den Kollegen interagiert.

Jetzt wo ich einen Job suche wird mir empfohlen doch Nachhilfe zu geben, da ich so gut in den Fächern bin aber ich frage mich nur wie?

Ich bespreche das grade mit ChatGPT aber eine menschliche aktuelle Meinung wäre sehr hilfreich.

Possible relevant context; living in Big German City.

Ive made a prior post, asking if i should marry in my situation at all(, which got crazy in the comments).

I keep complete distance to sisters, i genuinely dont even have random conversations, unless i get approached or colleagues are in conversations to which i get invited in casually, in which case i still end it quickly.

Consequentially i dont have any particular preference, aside from perceived modesty/haya. Not because im stuck up like that but because being joking in male surrounded environments to which im jealous and therefore repulsed by.

However there are several women that actively show interest or are realistic options.

If relevant i would explain how they show interest.

Since i intend to keep the conversations formal i find it somehow shameful to only talk to one option at a time, since the social proximity could cause fitnah, as if im in a „talking stage“. And given that they already show clear interest im afraid this could enhance or cause approval of any suspicion, if fitnah should happen.

If i kept it formal and were open with the sisters about speaking to others, this fitnah wouldnt be possible, since i essentially would be playing with open cards.

The best approach though in my opinion would be to find trustworthy Men and to ask for possible relatives to marry, as their character could be a clear indication instead of having to base it off personal experience directly.

I myself would say no, simply because of my financial situation.

Im studying medicine, so ive got some years till i have time and money to be independent, though i get financial support and live in my own small apartment and work a part time job.

I essentially would have enough money but i dont see myself independent enough to feel safe promising a woman ease and care without risking my career, say if something happened to my financial support, i probably would have to stop studying.

Aside from that nothing speaks against it, i study well, top of my semester, actively improving in religion/social life.

This is only a minor point but i also get approached regularly and feel a bit humiliated by rejecting offers regularly or also not approaching clearly interested women.

As far as ive read and heard this fragrance is a beast mode fragrance, so much so that it takes extreme confidence to wear it, let alone in summer.

The Projection, longevity and heavy complex notes are the apparent reason.

I got my 100ml but i dont smell it as strong after a few minutes already.

Maybe i get noseblinded quick or maybe my nose isnt sensitive towards it at all?

Maybe in summer it sweats of way faster, combined with the AC blowing?

Ive been in a room at 37 degrees celcius but not even one person commented or complained about it, despite one of them frequently complains about strong scents.

Any ideas/thoughts?

When i started getting into expensive Fragrances my first favorites were a typical jasmine scent by Dior, Lilac love&Existence by Amouage but by far the best to me was Overture man by amouage.

After deciding to buy it i was told by the „specialis“ in the shop that it is a complicated fragrance which most wouldnt prefer and later on youtube i saw that this is a major opinion.

Not only this but i find many fresh or mainstream fragrances to smell generic/too alcohol like and wondered how i aquired such weird taste.

Now i wonder, should i try to get into contact with someone deeply into fragrances and try to figure more out or is my taste/nose somehow useful in a fragrance oriented career?

So i dont think about marriage actually because im studying something that will take lots of years and i generally avoid contact to women, but theres this girl in my class which also places lots of effort into modesty yet seems to try to get my attention.

She is syrian, so simply culturally based i wanted an opinion.

-She and her friends generally avoid men completely but if she has a question she prefers to ask me, despite being shy. You can literally hear her being nervous asking.

-ive noticed her looking at me often, which is weird, since i dont look too good nor too bad, pretty normal id say

-and often sits „close“ to where i am, for example if no seats are available she of all her friends ends up next to me, or if the groups have no space for her she ends up with mine.

The looking is what I’ve noticed mostly, since i saw a tiktok randomly, saying that this is an arab girl thing, but idk rly.

This is the first „off my chest“ point, next to the second;

My friends in class are far less modest than i am, and i am afraid of it making me seem weird to them.

For example i obviously avoid unnecessary conversation or contact with women and in the worst case i sit with one seat between us, so that i dont directly sit next to them.

My friends dont care and will just fill that space.

Im of course not responsible, but something like that happening makes me prefer sitting extremely unfavorable instead of causing some type of immodesty.

What do yall think?

Btw, of course i prefer to have more careful friends, but if id distance myself from him i had no friend in that class, and i would basically be an outlier.

Possible but not sure if thats good.

Ich hab länger an der Rezeption in einer Praxis gearbeitet und meine Erfahrung im Medizinstudium heute geteilt.

Die Frage war, wie man denn mit älteren respektlosen Patienten umgehen sollte.

Ich meinte dass, solange niemand sich verletzt fühlt und man es auf die leichte schulter als team nehmen kann, man einfach einen Sündenbock nehmen sollte und den Patienten sich auskotzen lassen sollte.

Weiter habe ich ausgeführt damit, das es Patienten gibt die den Arzt wie ihren besten freund behandeln und sich unnötig über Mitarbeiter beschweren. Darauf mit „ja, das klären wir schon, jaja“ zu antworten ist doch viel einfacher als einen gefühlt halbsenilen menschen in den letzten Jahren zu belehren?

Nach der aussage wurde ich so behandelt als ob ich absolut verrückt wäre, „sie können ja machen was sie wollen in der Zukunft, es gibt aber definitiv andere Möglichkeiten.“.