I've started I've not had my head in the game. I just went through the motions and impulsively joined classes, without considering structure. It's kinda how I handled stuff for a while, until recently where I smartened up a little and realized it was making things worse.

That and had trouble focusing/engaging, dealing with depression, keeping up practice with art (I feel more confidence in creating, but my skill is lacking), finding a job for a year(and being denied unemployment because I valued school time), and other personel issues that are a bit too sensitive.

But I've managed to pass so far. I just feel I haven't got any clue what I want to do.

I have one more class to complete, a CWE, which I intend to do this summer, and I did impuslively apply at a four year college for transfer for Fall. But now I'm wondering maybe I should get my life sorted with a gap year, maybe even consider other education options more critically.

I probably will, but I figure I need to weight my options and not be impulsive.

I was talking about suggestions for reading after finishing When Women were Dragons. I seem attached to the vibes of this, Wolfwalkers, and del Toro's Pinocchio.

One commenter said "...historical backdrop where the magical realism just sits quietly in background while real human emotions drive everything forward." to describe what I was looking for, and that fit the vibe perfectly.

I found out about it and went to check it out from my library.

I loved it. It's was like Wolfwalkers and del Toro's Pinocchio: historical setting with fantasy elements as support rather then a setting, with a story that I feel was pretty close to home for me.

But I read through it too fast, because I was so enthralled with it. I don't want to re-read so soon, because I feel it would ruin it for me.

So I need to read something else that is similar in either writing or feeling.

Here's a short mood list to get some idea of what I'm looking for:

Ciao Papa from del Toro's Pinocchio

Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow

Amhran Na Farraige and The Mother's Potrait from Song of the Sea

Hej Sokoloy (vocals only)

It's truly a odd list, as these song so different from one another.

Whenever I take my external hard drive toedit at school, lots of media (particularly audio) are missing and are red. Yet this doesn't happen when at home.

I have no problem having to sign in everytime I tunr my PC back.

I have 3 college classes that I need to finish up for my 2 year degree. I like them to a extent.

My issue is I'm having difficulty learning art because I had major gaps of not doing it. My basic understandingis there, but my lines look crummy; my anatomy is barely there, etc.

And I have no way to learn art again. No instructor or peer to critique my work. Ive tried posting it on here, but barely recieved any critiques.

I also have anxiety, and a poor attention span.

I just don't know what to do, and I feel I'm going to get this degree without actually learning anything, and am jsut not cut out to be a artist because I handicapped myself.