My bf (27M) suddenly changed completely , sl@t shamed me(24F) without any reason
I never dated before , my family was all set to marry me with a guy but he.... I went into deep depression, didn't know what to do. Was talking normally to people on Instagram (mind y'all no flirting nothing) . This guy has messaged me one year ago and was following me , in may I replied. Then after two days of talking I blocked him when he asked to meet as we're in same hometown. I know I did immature thing.
Then after 20 days , I got request from another guy (named B ) of same field (both are doing PhD in same subject from same Central University), he reminded me of him , I felt guilty what if he hasn't forgotten me I unblocked him and he immediately started messaging. I was surprised that he hasn't forgotten me yet . Both these guys were talking to me parallely.
This first guy we started talking so much , 2nd guy B send me a vulgar meme I didn't respond he blocked me. I didn't react as my nervous system was already shutdown bcs of all the things that for this much small thing I had no strength..
This first guy came to meet me I expected a friendly visit but he came with flowers chocolates, I refused but gave me anyhow. We started meeting talking so much. Went to places in our hometown. Then came another side , he initiated kissing hugging and used to kiss very aggressively but while making out he used to start having deep breaths and then back to normal whereas I am still aroused and .... This happened many times and I understood he has PE or ED issues, asked him but he straight up refused and was kinda embarrassed so I didn't ask again.
Bringing me flowers chocolates etc so once I asked for my usual skincare products which would come within the range of chocolates he give to me , started giving lame excuses etc etc but brought the skincare products but I felt so ashamed that never asked for anything again.
Had so much problem for my online male friends not even friend they did same online coaching and we used to talk once in months for exam form etc info .. but even that was bothering him.
He was against marriage from starting. Making remarks like come on my room on first date even before I love you, I got shocked and said I won't do anything before marriage he went silent and showed passive aggressive traits . And next day , he started talking about marriage, saying on third date that I will marry you by putting feet on ur father's chest and laughed I yelled strongly and opposed him , he said sorry and said this is how I joke , don't get angry please etc .
In talking stage, he said things like u don't have moral values just out of blue, I asked for explanation he said I just say random things without context. I send him photos in once view he took their photos from another phone (I got to know this later ) . He send his friend who send me a vulgar meme I got to know this too later . He pretended having a bullet but it was his professor's and he brought on every date just to impress me and even told me that his father gifted him that when I asked he said u're mixing up things. When no one in my relatives friends owns a bullet. After first friendly meeting of 10 mins , I was on my scooty he was on bullet and he was following me like crazy I told him to go away and let me go but no response nothing just plain following, I stopped and took a u turn , saw him going ahead with a smirk on face . After just one month of dating, he was asking me to move in with him . I was always surprised with his new new demands. And always wondered is this how people do in dating. After two weeks , he was pressuring for my exact home address, I told him a wrong area just to get rid of that .
After kissing which he initiated, I started getting requests from vulgar accounts on insta which I never ever got in 4-5 years , they were so many, so many were newly made . I confronted him he got silent embarassed and then defensive and I didn't get any such requests after that means he must be behind all that to check my loyalty.
Last month I found an extremely injured kitten , rescued him , my family opposed a lot but I did, brought food medicines took him to vet etc and was unable to give this guy time and he got angry. On last date , I bought many expensive gifts for this guy for his bday and ran out of cash . Wet chicken gravy food was unavailable in my area so I asked him to order , it was just 300 worth rupees. He had brought expensive chocolates for me again but was refusing to buy cat food . I said I already refused to bring chocolates yet you , and asked for cat food and he said I wish ur kitten had died that day . I was shocked. Kitten literally died after one week and I was heartbroken felt like dy@ing . He then left to Rajasthan for his fieldwork and was insisting me to come with him ... My family is traditional and orthodox how come that's possible still he was insisting. Then he went , I was angry and hurt for the kitten comment, and in anger I said fuck you, he got so so angry , .... And things went downhill from there . Recently he abused me a lot , asked for my family's phone numbers , I refused and asked why he said for my safety I asked why tell me , he said if you have trust u will give otherwise don't talk to me and when I refused he sl*t shamed me , asked why don't I trust him , I brought his friend thing who send me a vulgar meme he said things like do you talk to every guy , do you sleep.... Saying things like tumahre jaisi ladki ... and so many other things .. I am so hurt literally. I am 24 yrs old but never ever dated not even kissed a guy , he was my first but ..... I guess I have been heavily love bombed then whole manipulation tricks or whatever was played on me ... can anybody please tell why did he do al that , he used to say he is addicted to me , can't live without me etc etc ... will keep you like my queen, u're my everything just love bombed me a lot and then ......
Why did he do all this ???? Had he ever loved me or was that only???
Edit - he used to leave his academic work to meet me and used to spend 4-5 hours with me , I was kind of exhausted with that much meetings. even after those many hours , I had to force him to let me go , he was adamant for live in , wanted to live 24×7 with me saying things like I'm addicted to you etc etc . I feel like going on fieldwork and being away from 10 days has fucked up his mind . For every date he used to travel 40 kms just to meet me .. !! I just had to drop a message that come anytime literally anytime of a day and he used to just run his vehicle like racer and meet me.. don't know what happened in 10 days ....
Edit 2 - he comes from a rural background and still trying to fit in my tier 2 hometown. saying things like no one talks to him etc etc may be it was loneliness. I told him everything about how I think he is manipulating me (as I have read psychology a bit once ) he was silent , paused and then got nervous in defending himself.... also making comments on my sleeveless kurtis , asking me not to wear anything else other than salwar suit or kurtis, so many oth r small things which I was ignoring again and again as I didn't want to loose him.
Edit 3- He hates academics and work . Complaint to me many times that his father forced him for this PhD thing and forcing him to do job after which he doesn't want. Was also complaining after reaching Rajasthan that u're living in ur house comfortably and here I'm suffering etc etc