Where are you all getting CO2???
I wanted to get a 5 lbs tank filled.
I went to the local Airgas place and they told me $150! That’s outrageous. Where do I go to get it filled cheap?
Mind you this was just to fill the tank - not to buy the tank. I see people quoting $15-20. Where?
What’s the life expectancy of a pair of ventilated Merrell Moab’s? How many miles? What conditions?
My teen got a pair last year in advance of a trip to Northern Tier. He was on the water for I think five days. So they got wet as he got in and out of the canoe.
Since then he has worn them in a handful more hikes putting maybe 150 miles on them in total.
Is that a normal life expectancy for these boots? I ask because the metal tabs for the laces have fallen off both boots. I’m a little disappointed. I want to be fair. Maybe this was enough wear and tear. However my older son had identical boots. His lasted for years. They finally gave out about eight years after I bought them. That pair went in an identical trip to Northern tier, philmont and hundreds of miles on backpacking trips in between.
I need perspective.
I also need suggestions for an affordable replacement. This kid is going to philmont in three weeks and I am cash strapped as I am finishing paying for the trip. I didn’t budget for more pricy boots because I thought he was covered.
I know I’m preaching to the choir here but never tell your family that you’re never going to a nursing home. It’s just so many levels of a crappy thing to do to them. Particularly if you haven’t done the advanced financial and legal planning to provide for yourself.
First of all: Your precipitating event for a nursing home is going to preclude your ability to object to a nursing home for starters. If you have a massive stroke, dementia, Alzheimer’s, or a fall that you don’t recover well from, you’re going to be in no position to object. If you haven’t prepared for that moment legally and financially then you are just dumping a huge burden on your family. Is that what you really want to do to them?
Did you really raise your kids so they can spend 5-10 years wiping your arse after your stroke? Is this the future you want for them?
Do you want them to care for you at such a high level after your food and lifestyle choices incapacitate you?
Just no. I am informing my kids that if I am not willing / unable to bathe myself or toilet myself and there is no hope of recovery, then put me in a nursing home already. They do not need to feel guilty.
I just want to report that I got a new match after waiting SIX YEARS!
Long story short: incredibly challenging search. Grandparent was an immigrant with very unusual family history. Was twice my grandmother’s age, used an alias and didn’t discuss his family. In short I knew only a couple of bits of info. There were very few matches. I could only link three to the family and they were all low matches. They had very limited trees to work with.
Well this week we got a new match and she is my mother’s HIGHEST match on MH. She’s from the grandparent line I’m searching. She knows a lot of family history and wants to help!
She’s already validated what I know, is sending me records and has much insight. I will still have some struggles ahead of me but she’s validated all the work I’ve already done and has much to share. Six years. It took six years.
Can someone please explain the income limits for Medicaid in the state of Oklahoma for an aged person who needs to be moved to a nursing home immediately.
My mother can no longer walk unassisted, use the restroom, bathe, dress, cut up or food or literally do anything by herself.
She is currently in the hospital with multiple broken ribs after her last fall. They are releasing her Tuesday. Her elderly husband can no longer handle the level of care she needs. They are alone in their rural home. I live out of state and can’t move back.
Since they are a couple (but only one needs care) I need numbers that pertain to couples.
We have an immediate need for info and I can’t make heads or tails of all the stuff on the internet. They own a home worth less than $125,000. They have social security and a very nominal amount of other income / assets.
I would like to get back into real estate photography but do not want to start my own company. What companies are hiring photographers?
I am looking for suggestions for wedding photography companies to work with? I know I’ve heard they don’t pay great. That’s ok right now. I am in transition and just want some work.
I used to do weddings and left the field about number of years go but would like to get back in.
My mother is mid 70s. I will never get over the trauma of her abuse. I think I understand the depth of her mental illness. I’ve been grappling with it my entire life. Then I get another gut punch and I realize exactly how sick and twisted this woman is. I never stood a chance. Nor did my siblings. As she ages now I rarely go back when I am called back. I’ve tried to heal more so I look at her from a less emotional standpoint. And it’s shocking to me when I see the levels of self absorption.
I am expected to have compassion for her as she ages. Her husband expects me to have compassion. Her medical team at the hospital expects me to have compassion. I just feel nothing and sometimes anger. The one thing I do not feel is compassion. Just shock sometimes as the adult version of me realizes exactly how hard it was for the child version of me to survive.
Edit to clarify: I am trying to figure out how to get her into assisted living or a Medicaid funded nursing home. That’s what I mean about LTC. Sorry for confusion.
For context: My mother has had multiple strokes, bladder cancer and melanoma. She has back issues as well. She’s also got medical issues: she’s had an colostomy decades ago and off the charts out of control type 2 diabetes. She’s got extreme mobility issues now. She’s in pain. Mild dementia - on its own the dementia is so mild it wouldn’t be a factor here.
She’s also not a nice person, but I digress. I need info now about long term care.
She recovered ok-ish from the strokes and cancer but absolutely refused to do any physical therapy. Instead she basically went to bed and expected people to wait on her hand and foot. This made the mobility issues worse. Her husband then waited on her hand and foot.
She’s fallen several times and he can’t get her up anymore. They will soon be living completely alone in a very rural area. I live cross country. Another sibling was in the home helping but is moving away and not interested in helping now.
The last fall caused five broken ribs. She’s in the hospital now. I’m flying in hoping to press hard for long term care.
Her husband has so far refused because he says they make not enough for assisted living too much for a nursing home.
He has so far refused to provide me with any financial details. I am assuming she’s bringing in about $3000 with her social security and pension. Then he has social security too and maybe a pension but likely not much.
As of now he is planning to take her home when she is released from the hospital.
I know a lot is happening in this scenario. I just need to understand the financial side of things. How can I get her financially into long term care. I am going to do everything in my power to get her into long term care. However I don’t have any experience with the financial side of things.
This situation is utterly out of control. I need it settled so I can focus on my family and work (2500 miles away from her)
My a/c died a couple of years ago. I've heard this is a known issue for the Honda Fit.
We were quoted a too high cost to repair. Most of the year temperature is moderate where I live but a few weeks in the summer it is miserable. For that reason we opted not to repair it. However the few weeks are getting more and more miserable every year.
I was in the auto parts store the other day and they had a kit to repair a/c that was very affordable and looked simple. Would it be foolish to give it a shot? I really don't want to pay a fortune to fix my a/c. Has anyone tried this?
I don't know what loop of absurdity I have been thrust into, but I urge all of you, do not download the instawork app. The red flags are waving all over the place.
I only wanted to pick up work for two weeks and I wanted to keep it simple. I wasn't picky. I am happy to do these general labor jobs for a few weeks or on the weekends to get extra cash. However the number of AI generated hoops is ridiculous and the fact that they are clearly using us for data mining is disturbing.
If you need work, go with a different app. Instawork is a huge red flag. I am now using other apps and have had none of this ridiculous hoops -- for exactly the same companies that I was working for on Instawork. Let me repeat that: I am successfully working for the same companies that Instawork deleted off my potentials list. Minus the obnoxious AI interviews every time I book a shift and weird AI hell I have been thrust into.
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At the risk of breaking the vow or something, where can I get nice printable spreads each month? I just don't want to draw. I don't want it to be plain either. I want something to look at. I would prefer not too cutesy. I've looked at etsy and didn't see anything I like. Does anyone do this?
Hi I'm kind of at a breaking point financially and emotionally with my teeth. My teeth aren't the worst. In fact, I could get two more root canals and get a previous root canal pulled and replaced and I would probably be ok for a few years. But the cost of doing all that plus a deep clean and gum disease treatment is over $10,000 - WITH dental insurance applied.
In the last year I've already spent over $20,000 on my teeth between dental work, root canals, crowns, extractions (I've had an extraction in the back already), jaw surgery and orthodontics required to do the medically needed jaw surgery. In truth it's probably closer to $25,000 - and that doesn't even include the cost of the jaw surgery.
Issue 2: I have pretty severe dental anxiety and ptsd. Every trip to the dentist is a nightmare for me because...
Issue 3: They have a very hard time getting me numb. I don't know why. But I do know that not every dentist is super patient. I've been sent home feeling like a failure because I wasn't numb. I've had so much work done while not numb. I've been treated kind of poorly by impatient dentist and it made me want to crawl into a hole.
Issue 4: Due to lack of funds I've had to wait months in extreme pain until I could afford to get a root canal.
I don't want to pay for two more root canals and crowns at the same time that I have to get a root canal that I had to scrimp and suffer and save to get? I am just so done. I do not want to spend the money that I am planning to spend on my son to go to camp on my teeth. I am overwhelmed by all of this.
Dentists always tell me it is a terrible idea to get dentures. But I have family members who got dentures and they were just fine. I would like the opinion of people who have dentures. Would you continue to spend thousands that you don't have, go through the stress of dental anxiety or would you pull them and be done with this horrible mess?
When is it ok to give up and get dentures? I find myself again at a breaking point and I don't want to keep doing this.
For information: Female, 50s, I have dental insurance but it isn't worth the paper they used to make the policy. Maxes out at $1500. History: Extreme dental anxiety, earned the hard way: I have a hard time getting numb. No offense to the dentists but not all of you handle that scenario very well. I've been sent home from appointments with no work done because I wasn't numb after multiple attempts. I've had work done when I wasn't numb (many many times). Not all of you are so happy to spend extra time trying to get people numb. I am really sorry about that. I don't know why I do not get numb easily.
I've also had other struggles in the dental arena. Once I had a toothache and I couldn't afford a root canal, so I had to wait four months with excruciating pain. Many times I've struggled to afford dental care and the stress has been so intense.
I also had a significant overbite and needed jaw surgery due to the overbite and the fact that it caused really bad sleep apnea. I wasn't able to get the surgery until just four years ago. The journey to get surgery was not easy. I did come through surgery with flying colors though. It's been the only good experience related to my teeth.
All of it has resulted in a walloping case of ptsd and dental anxiety. I start hyperventilating when I pick up the phone to call your office. I am in pure panic mode when I sit in that chair. I am praying you won't notice because it's so embarrassing.
Now I was just quoted about $10k for two more root canals plus crowns, a deep cleaning, gum disease treatment, and extraction of a tooth with a previous root canal with a failing crown. They want to replace it with a surgical implant for replacement.
That failed crown needing extraction kind of broke me. I've presently got one tooth hurting and in need of yet another root canal.
But at the same time the old root canal that I had to scrimp and save to afford now needs to be pulled. I paid well over $3500 for the root canal and crown that now needs to be pulled out just a few years later. All told, between dental work, orthodontics, root canals, crowns and all of it, I have spent over $20,000 in the last decade. Maybe that's not a lot for some people but it is a lot for me.
I just do not want to do this anymore but anytime I bring up pulling my teeth and getting dentures I get immediately dismissed. I am told it is a terrible idea, keep my teeth, everything is just fine.
But everything is not just fine if I am in pain again, I need to pull a tooth that I already spent a small fortune on. I've got insurance. I get by but I can't afford these costs. To even get another root canal and crown will take the money I set aside for my son to go to camp this summer.
I just want to be done with this. When is it ok to give up and get dentures? I do not want to do this anymore. What are the consequences if I do?
I need help. I can't say it more plainly than that. I will try to be brief but if it ends up too long please forgive.
My mother was abusive. Physical and emotional abuse all my life. I live cross country. I went low contact many years ago. She remarried some years back. To her husband she was very submissive and fawning. I was not very welcome in their life and given that I didn't want to be around my mother that was fine by me. We would visit maybe once a year. I would have my kids make obligatory phone calls on holidays. All visits were intentionally very brief. As for my relationship with my mother, not one thing has ever been good enough for my mother. Her complaints, mockery, meanness and demands have always been endless - particularly to me.
I have a sister who is very mildly on the spectrum. She is genius level smart and other than not picking up on some social cues, she is fully capable of functioning on her own. However my mother insisted that my sister live with her. My sister is now in her mid 40s. She's never held a job or lived on her own and survives off of social security income. My mother made ZERO provisions for my sister. No money has been allocated. No plans for my sister to move out on her own. NOTHING. In the meantime my mother has fully renovated her house multiple times over (nothing is ever good enough so as soon as she was done putting in new flooring or whatever, that upgrade would come right back out and be replaced with something else). They have purchased multiple lots in their tiny rural area. They installed a $60,000 shop building to hold all the junk my mother has amassed over the years. But no provisions for my sister.
Fast forward. My mother is declining. She's had two strokes and two types of cancer. The only people caring for her has been her husband and my sister. My sister has been basically turned into an on demand servant, fully cooking cleaning and doing every single thing my mother wants done for many years now.
My mother actually recovered from her strokes pretty well. She has some mild forgetfulness but that's it. She can get around with the aid of a walker. But the thing the strokes did do was lift the veil for her horrible behavior. That used to just be saved for me. After the stroke she became relentlessly demanding of her husband, my sister, medical team. She just can't mask it anymore.
Now her husband is confiding in me. He now despises my mother. He wants my sister out of his house... IMMEDIATELY. He's got to much honor to leave my mother at this point but all the work is on him and my mother is not being very nice about it. My mother also acts like she can't do as much as she actually can. So this man is cutting up her food for her two years after the last stroke. Meanwhile, she can manage to chain smoke, open the cigarettes, lite it and handle that with great ease.
My stepfather thinks he doesn't have enough money to put her in assisted living. I am quite certain they would kick her out of assisted living really fast due to her behavior. And he thinks they make too much to qualify for medicaid to put her in a nursing home. If it were not for her behavior she wouldn't actually need a nursing home. He's made comments that make it clear his depression over the situation is deep and he is just resigned to dealing with her all by himself forever. He told me that had she not had the last stroke he was going to leave her.
Now here I am. I call no shots. I can't force him to put her in a nursing home. I don't know how to help him. I do not have the resources to swoop in and get my sister out of that house. I have a small home fully of my own family and no where to put her. The waiting lists for housing assistance aren't just long... they are closed.
I am livid that no provisions have been made for her-- I am apparently the backup plan. That's the only plan they made: me. I am livid that my mother is treating this man so badly. I am livid at him for failing to tell her no and get boundaries. I am livid that I can't get him to even sit down and talk to a social worker about options. I am livid that I overheard a zoom call with my mother's doctor where he literally lied through his teeth and said everything is great.
I can't report him to adult protective services - she IS being cared for. He is just miserable. Locally he is beloved by all and a community leader. Trying to get outside resources to intervene would absolutely fail. I really really really do not know what else to do.