u/Rehan_sidhu

Hey, I'm 16 and from India (I know Punjabi, Hindi and English). I am a huge fan of FC Barcelona. A very major reason for my desire to learn Catalan. But I am also very fascinated by the city of Barcelona and their deep and really intriguing culture (the 5% of which I know currently). I want to learn Catalan out of passion. How do I start? Where do I start? My Catalan scale at the point of typing this is in negatives lol.

So, I'm 16M and I had gotten a small cut on my index finger which healed quickly. The cut was from an indoor almirah which is clean and polished but I end up searching if I had a chance to acquire Tetanus on google. And Dr. Google, despite me seeing all the memes around it, ended up getting the better of my unconscious. I also have not gotten any tetanus vaccination except my intial set of doses as an infant before I gained consciousness. And then after 5 days of the wound, I start getting twitches and I started to immediately notice the twitches. It still feels like a symptom. All this time, my jaw was totally fine and stuff goes out like this for the next 3 days. During those 3 days, my neck just becomes really tight, it isn't stiff or anything but it just feels someone is gripping my neck. It did calm down later but I always got a stiff neck whenever I thought of "nightmare" scenarios like me or someone close to me dying. I don't have trouble breathing or swallowing. And today, I had almost no sleep in the night despite trying to sleep and when I finally decided to step out of bed after a very late 2 hour nap, I yawned and got a spasm in the V area behind my chin(FYI - I have put up a few kilos and I'm the fattest I've ever been). That spasm has been echoing throughout the day as of writing this. My jaw still feels fully functional and there is no severe pain/spasm anywhere but the neck once again gets very heavy when I think about nightmare scenarios. I then watch my phone for the next 2 hours and suddenly my neck also hurts and my head feels heavy. I now have a pain in my calf, a heavy neck and I am feeling quite heavy from the head myself. I really want to get rid of this feeling of dread.

Tl;dr - I got to know a girl, we confessed our love, loved each other a lot, had differing future plans and she broke up witb me saying I was "too perfect". But we still chat but the chats are "gloomy" and quite sad but romantic.

So, basically I(16M) was texting with a girl(16F)(Let = V) who was my former classmate and I told her my political thoughts and stuff and my hobbies and she had a friend(16F)(Let = S) who I had never met or heard of before and she thought me and her friend would make great friends. So, we make a GC on insta (I live in Punjab and they both live in Delhi and our distance is like 300ish kms) to talk about politics and stuff but then we decide to have a call and discuss about what stuff we gonna post on our new insta page but V opts out and it's me and S on the call and we both talk for over an hour and talk about lots of stuffs like we didn't even stay on a topic for 10 minutes before switching it up. It was such a fun and exciting call. A few days go by, and I randomly text her about some random person trying to fight w/ me but that thing dies off quite quickly and then we start chatting with each other regularly and she's(S) really into writing and reading books and I consider myself rather creative so I just give her my inputs and apparently they were soo good she wanted to get on call with me to discuss her upcoming book's storyline. Our call once again goes over an hour and we discuss about a lot of other stuff like Indian politics and football (she's into football cause of her brother) and then hours turn into days. We get on call everyday for about a week. All those conversations with her feel just like yesterday. They were just soo amazing. It was almost as if I was talking to a mirror so something, we just had soo much in common!!! but then my phone breaks and I can't get her on call so we resort to text. Days turn into weeks and we both are spending hours and hours texting each other everyday. From good mornings to good nights, the whole shabang. We then switch to voice notes whenever we could send them. And then, we started to confess our love for each other. I don't exactly remember when our chats turned romantic but they became SUPER romantic (romance like a piece of literature). We both just couldn't stop confessing our love and care for each other. We had some banter as well in between but it was such a positive and lovely time... She used to text me good morning before I even woke up and always sent me a voice note saying how much she cared and valued me every time she came back from her school and so did I. I also sent her voice notes and texts like that. And we discussed sexual stuff with each other and what our kinks were and stuff like that as well. She also confessed to thinking about fucking me all the time (and so did I). We even confessed to the fact that if we were together for 24 hours, all we do is have sex and breaks in between and nothing else. And since we have a large height difference (she's 5'2 and I'm 6'1) she said she'd climb on top of me and kiss me till choked to death. We even confessed our urges to cuddle and kiss each other. She even told me about her menstural cycle and what not. We also discussed our futures; she said she wanted to go to UK after 12th and practice law over there meanwhile I wanted to practice law here in India.

But in the middle of all this, she says that I was apparently a bit "too perfect". She said she loved me and that I was very caring and always listened to her and gave her space but she said our convos felt very formal to her and that there was no rawness in them. So I just decided to mutually break up with her and it was a very tough 2 days before I just texted her back and told her that I was really really missing her and she said the same and we had our usual romantic convo but it seemed "gloomy". She said that we both are gonna be at totally different places. She was going to UK and I was staying at India and we had never met irl as well. And I just imagined scenarios where we both were neighbours and she also told me she desperately wanted it to be reality but there's nothing we both could do. She said she really really loved me but it was just impossible for us be together. We also agreed it was better to keep chats dry and minimal to prevent affection cause it would only hurt us more but it is oh so difficult to do so. Even today, sometimes I chat with her and we both just end up romanticizing our chat even when we are not supposed to. She is genuinely the first and only woman(outside of my family) for whom I have cared for with my heart and soul. One night she had a mood swing and she got angry with me and went to sleep pissed off and I just couldn't sleep that night. I just couldn't and nobody knows the relief I felt when she saw my apology text the next morning and told me it was all fine and that she was just having a mood swing. I could go to war just to win her and I feel she would do the same for me.

But I am lowkey feeling like Kaka at this moment (Elite ball knowledge required).

Let's get the Aussies out of the way - Cooper and Bartlett will most probably be unavailable for IPL 2027 due to national team commitments so I'm not considering them anywhere but I'm retaining both of them. Bartlett is just for 80 lakh and he is a good rotation all rounder and a backup to Jansen/Azmat. And it would be dumb to release your best overseas batsmen cause of unavailability for a season. I mean who would do it *cough cough*? .

Here are my retentions and releases -

Retain (in ₹cr)-

Shreyas Iyer (26.75) - No brainer

Arshdeep Singh (18) - No brainer

Marcus Stoinis (11) - Not washed yet and provides muscle strength to the team and great against pace.

Marco Jansen (7) - Last season was tough due to his fatigue but he still is just 24 and one of the best overseas fast bowlers out there and he will definitely perform.

Azmatullah Omarzai (2.4) - One of the only few positives from the 2nd half of 26 and a really improved batsman and a bowler.

Prabhsimran Singh (4) - No Brainer

Priyansh Arya (3.8) - No Brainer

Harpreet Brar (1.5) - No Brainer

Yash Thakur (1.6) - Great powerplay bowler and is going through aa really good patch of form in domestic.

Shashank Singh (5.5) - Really shocked most of us with the ball and he is still a really good finisher.

Suryansh Shedge (0.30) - No Brainer

Vishnu Vinod (0.95) - Great middle order batsman and our 2nd wicket keeping option.

Harnoor Pannu (0.30) - Promising talent

Musheer Khan (0.30) - Cheap and a quality all rounder

Mitchell Owen (3) - A possible X Factor in most batting lineups due to his explosive batting.

Vijaykumar Vyshak (1.8) - Great post powerplay bowler and he was performing well before he was dropped and his momentum was fucked.

Vishal Nishad (0.30) - Promising talent and a mysterious mystery spinner.

Releases ( in ₹cr)-

Yuzvendra Chahal (18) - 35, doesn't play domestic, seriously underutilized but I think he is not at all worth 18 cr.

Ben Dwarshuis (4.4) - Seriously overpriced and super underwhelming. BTW Ben was in Punjab for only 2 seasons: 2018 and 2026. Coincidence?

Nehal Wadhera (4.2) - His time is up at PBKS and he is also over-priced.

Pyla Avinash (0.30) - Basic squad cleaning

Lockie Ferguson (2) - Washed and mostly injured

Pravin Dubey (0.30) - He was a bit of a panic buy at the auction and he was never in our plans.

The Total Budget for IPL 2027 - ₹37.7 cr.

Targets (in ₹cr)-

Ravi Bishnoi (~14) - He is my primary leg spin target and Yuzi's replacement. He should be our top priority in this auction/trade window and I honestly think he will excel in Mullanpur. Moreover, he has been relegated to the bench at RR so he should be availaible for us to pick up.

Rahul Chahar (~3) - He will be my primary backup to Ravi Bishnoi. Quality player and under Ponting I think he will definitely improve.

Will O Rourke (~2) - Test bowler, constantly bowls at 145+, great wicket taking ability but slightly on the expensive side of things but a great purchase for the future.

Kamindu Mendis (~3) - Quality middle order leftie batsman and an ambidextrous bowler which means he bowls right arm off spin as well which can be very handy for us since we struggled a lot against lefties in 2026.

Gurnoor Brar (~3) - Indian express fast bowler, powerplay wicket taking skills and he is gonna be outstanding in Dharamshala's seam friendly conditions.

These picks leave a budget flexibility of about ₹12 cr to buy youngsters or my proposed targets if their prices shoot up.

Here is my playing xi+ for IPL 2027 (Batting first)-

Prabhsimran Singh(WK)

Priyansh Arya

Mitchell Owen

Shreyas Iyer(C)

Marcus Stoinis

Suryansh Shedge

Shashank Singh

Azmatullah Omarzai

Marco Jansen

Harpreet Brar /Vijaykumar Vyshak/Gurnoor Brar

Ravi Bishnoi

IMP - Arshdeep Singh.

Some changes if needed -

Brar out for Vyshak on tracks which help out the seamers and Gurnoor in place of Vyshak at Dharamshala and overcast conditions.

If our bowling(especially powerplay bowling) still struggles, then we can give a spot to Vyshak/Gurnoor by dropping Shashank or any other batsman who is going through a rough patch.

We struggled A LOT against lefties throughout the season (Axar, Miller, N. Rana, Tilak, Venky, QDK, Ishan, Sai and Jaiswal: all scored 50+ against us). We really need an off spinner to tackle this weakness. Any suggestions y'all have? I would like to have a young Indian offie but the thing is, off spinners are not very popular in India. We can most probably just get a part time off spinner/off spin all rounder and idk if it's worth sacrificing an overseas spot for.

Apps - 34, Clean Sheets - 15

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