u/Resident_Celery_6687

I didn’t censor his username because this is Dr Yasir Qadhi, he is already a public figure with millions of followers on social media. So mods please don't remove my post.

He came to reddit last year with this account on r/MuslimAcademics 's AMA with Dr. Yasir Qadhi event and wrote this comment in response to a question regarding the khimar/headscarf.

How would you respond to this argument?

Doesn’t make any sense to me

My question itself may not be an academic question, but it's based on the other academic posts on this subreddit. I've read the other academic posts in this subreddit on hijab and the general understanding here regarding the khimar verse (24:31) seems to be that the verse does not instruct women to cover their heads, it only tells them to cover their bosoms.

So the question is, if the verse does not instruct women to cover their bosoms, then how do you understand the hadith that says a woman's prayer is not accepted unless she wears the khimar?

>Aishah narrated that: Allah's Messenger said: "The Salat of a women who has reached the age of menstruation is not accepted without a Khimar"

• [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 377](https://sunnah.com/tirmidhi:377)

The hadith also uses the term khimar and the scholars who believe that covering the hair isn't mandatory for women still accept that a woman should cover her head during salah because of this hadith, and interpret the khimar in this hadith as head covering (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWPmJVdbl0&t=384s).

>:Ya Shaykh, is it haram for me to text a friend that's an opposite gender?

>:Firstly, having a friendship of the opposite gender is problematic because it's a stepping stone to something that's gonna be haram. Secondly, our Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam told us to cut off the doors of temptation, not just the actual temptation. So Allah says in the Quran, don't approach zina, don't come close to zina. And when you start texting, inevitably it's gonna lead to a stronger friendship, which inevitably is gonna lead to flirtation. I would say if there is a need for a brother to come in with his sister, then create a WhatsApp group. An MSA might have an event, something has to be done. So bring in other people so that it's never private. This is the default. You don't wanna open the door to things that are gonna bring you regret. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, those who avoid the doubtful matters, they're gonna be the ones that remain safe. Let's remain safe, inshallah.

Seeing how his views are comparatively more lenient than the Salafi Wahhabis, I expected to see more of an open minded take on befriending and texting the opposite sex from him. So seeing him problematize friendship between men and women like this was disappointing.

Search anything about male-female friendship in Islam on the internet and you will be buried under a mountain of “Haram” rulings. The same answer dominates the internet: “Haram, Haram, Haram”. The loudest voices online often present one strict interpretation as if it is the only Islamic position. But the reality is that Islamic thought has always contained diversity. There are scholars who argue that respectful friendships and interactions between men and women are not haram.

So I decided to compile a list of scholars who argue that friendship between men and women can be permissible with proper boundaries. These are the scholars I came across as of now (July 13, 2026) who explicitly used the terms “friend”, “friendship”. There might be more whom I could not find.

---

🔳🔳 Sheikh Ali Gomaa 🔳🔳

He served as the 18th “Grand Mufti” of Egypt from 2003-2013.

>In 2024, on his TV program he explicitly stated that friendship with opposite gender is absolutely permissible and there's nothing wrong with going out together, joking and playing with friends of opposite gender. Video links:

• Friendship with opposite gender is not Haram | Sheikh Ali Gomaa (Former Grand Mufti of Egypt)

• Is friendship with the opposite gender allowed in Islam? The answer is yes | Sheikh Ali Gomaa

• Dating & Maintaining Relationship in a halal way in Islam? - Sheikh Ali Gomaa | ❝English Subtitles❞ [this video is mainly on dating & relationships but still relevant to this topic]

• Friendship & Love between guys & girls is Halal in Islam if you follow these rules -Sheikh Ali Gomaa

🔳🔳Dr Shawki Allam🔳🔳

He served as the 19th Grand Mufti of Egypt from 2013-2024.

>At a seminar in Suez University where he was asked about friendship between guys and girls. He said that: *“A relationship of friendship and brotherhood between a young man and a young woman can be permissible, as long as it is without ulterior motives and within the limits of good manners and respectful speech”

• [Source], [Source 2]

◽◾ Answer on Dar Al Ifta Egypt written by him: ◾◽

In 2024, Dr Shawki Allam answered a question regarding friendship with opposite gender on Dar Al Ifta official website:

• Dar Al Ifta: حدود التعامل بين الرجل والمرأة وضوابطه

[the article is in Arabic, English translation is given below]

(Some other relevant articles on Dar Al Ifta English: Chatting between males and females, Can I chat online with a girl?, Mixing with men for work purposes, Eating out at mixed gender restaurants, Mixed gatherings in community centers, Gender mixing, Males and females mingling in educational institutions)

🔲🔲 Dr. Magdy Muhammad Muhammad Ashour 🔲🔲

He served as the Fatwa Secretary of Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyyah and adviser to Egypt’s Grand Mufti

>In 2021 he made a statement that friendship between men and women is permissible as long as it is respectful and certain rules & boundaries are observed. Video link:

• Friendship with opposite gender is not haram in Islam, boys & girls can be friends - Dr Magdy Ashour

🔳🔳 Dr Muhammad Abdel Samie 🔳🔳

Dr. Muhammad Abdel Samie is the Secretary of Fatwa at Dar al-Ifta, a senior fatwa official who answers public religious questions.

>On a Facebook Live Q&A (timestamp 00:39:47 – 00:41:16) on Dar Al Ifta Egypt's official Facebook page he was asked about friendship between men and women. He explained that the ruling depends on the actions within friendship: if the friendship involves only lawful conduct, it is halal; if it involves unlawful conduct, it is haram. The video clip with English subtitles:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhWyPz16Tso

• News & Article: [Source] [Source 2]

🔲🔲 Maulana Umar Faruque 🔲🔲

He is a Bangladeshi Scholar who studied at Darul Uloom Deobandi Madrassa in Kanaighat, Sylhet and currently is associated with Al-Manar Institute.

>In a video addressing Co-education and friendship between boys and girls, he said that Islam does not prohibit boys and girls from studying together, and that friendships between them is permissible. However, such interactions must follow Islamic guidelines, including lowering the gaze, maintaining modesty, avoiding inappropriate behaviour, and protecting personal boundaries. Video link:

• সহশিক্ষা ও ছেলে-মেয়ের মধ্যে বন্ধুত্ব - ইসলাম কী বলে? | (Alternative Facebook links: Link 1, Link 2, Link 3) | [the video is in Bengali, English translation is given below]

🔳🔳Dr Mohsen Hardey🔳🔳

He graduated from Al-Azhar University and earned his MA in Hadith literature from Leiden University, obtained PhD in Hadith literature from Leiden University. He is the former Executive Manager and Editor-in-Chief of E-Da`wah Committee in Kuwait, and a contributing writer and counselor of Reading Islam.

>He says friendship between men and women is permissible with respect and boundaries. And they should avoid physical contact according to him.

• Physical Contact Between Friends of Opposite Sex: Why Not?

🔲🔲Dr Shabir Ally🔲🔲

He is a Guyanese-Canadian Islamic scholar, President of the Islamic Information & Dawah Centre International in Toronto.

>He stated explicitly that friendship with opposite gender is not prohibited. Video link:

• Can boys and girls, men and women just be friends in Islam? The answer is Yes | Dr. Shabir Ally Source 2

🔳🔳Dr Khaled Abou El Fadl🔳🔳

He is a Kuwaiti-American Islamic scholar and jurist, and the founder of the Usuli Institute.

>In a discussion with his son over dating, marriage and friendship with opposite gender, he stated that you can even have a best friend who is from the opposite gender, someone you can talk to, write etc. Video link:

• Real Talk with Mido and Baba, Episode 3: On Dating, Marriage, Friends and Much More!

🔲🔲Javed Ahmed Ghamidi🔲🔲

He is a Pakistani Islamic scholar and the founder of Al-Mawrid Institute of Islamic Sciences.

>He was asked about friendship, relationship & dating. His response was friendship and development of feelings between boys and girls can naturally develop through studying, meeting, and normal social interaction, which is not forbidden. Video link:

• Opposite Gender Friendships | Dating, GF/BF, Relationships | Javed Ahmad Ghamidi [Source 2] [the video is in Urdu, English translation is given below]

🔳🔳Dr Khalid Zaheer🔳🔳

He is an Islamic scholar and academic. He had an intensive formal religious education in Islam. He studied Quran from Dr. Israr Ahmed, Mawlana Amin Ahsan Islahi, and Javed Ahmed Ghamdi. He also went through a formal two years course on Arabic and Islamic learning from Al-Mawrid, in 1983-84. He has a Ph.D. from the University of Wales on Islamic Banking.

>In his March 2019 article, he said friendship between men and women should not be ruled out if it remains within Islamic moral limits and is based on pure intentions. But in November 2019 he seemed to have become more cautious and said that he doesn’t think a man & woman can become friends. However, by February 2025 he takes a more practical approach, acknowledging that healthy friendships between boys and girls can exist. Link to his latest 2025 article:

• Friendships between Boys and Girls

🔲🔲[Dr Zeinab Al-`Alawani](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zainab_Alwani)🔲🔲

She studied at Imam Mohammad Ibn Saud Islamic University. She received her PhD in Islamic jurisprudence (Usul al-Fiqh) from the International Islamic University in Malaysia. She is also the first female jurist to sit on the board of the Fiqh Council of North America.

>Her view is that interaction and friendship between men and women are not inherently forbidden in Islam, but they must follow Islamic ethical guidelines. She allows the possibility of a respectful, “pure” friendship based on study, work, community, or shared interests, while warning against private, emotionally intense relationships that may lead to inappropriate attachment or crossing boundaries. Her position is therefore that opposite-gender friendship can exist, but it should be guided by modesty, respect, and self-restraint.

• Is It Haram to Have Female Friends?

🔳🔳Mufti Abu Layth Al-Maliki🔳🔳

He studied Islamic theology first at the Damascus University and then at Jamia Darul Uloom, Karachi where he completed his Mufti course.

>He only briefly said in a Q&A livestream that men and women can be friends (didn’t get into too much detail). Video link with timestamp:

• Monday Nights with Mufti Abu Layth | Session 44 [around 01:40:40 mark, the link is timestamped]

🔲🔲The Centre for Islamic Decrees and Doctrines🔲🔲

>The Centre for Islamic Decrees and Doctrines holds the stance that friendships between people of opposite genders are permitted under Sharia, provided that Islamic boundaries, modesty, and decorum are maintained

• Does Islam permit friendships with members of the opposite gender?

---

Honorable Mentions

◽◾ Other counsellors on AboutIslam.net ◾◽

Answers given by two scholars (Dr Mohsen Hardey and Dr Zeinab Al-`Alawani) on this website has been shared above. However there are some other counsellors on this website who aren’t necessarily scholars (some of them have their bios available, some others don't) but I thought their answers would be worth sharing since these articles are posted on the same website:

Heba Rauf Ezzat

• Real Talk: Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?

Linda "iLham" Barto

• Muslim College Student: My Best Friends are Boys!

Amani Aboul Fadl Farag

• Friendship Between a Man and a Woman?

• Making Friends Through Online Chatting?

Altaf Husain

• Premarital Relationships: Why Not? Clear Islamic Guide

◾◽ Ikram Hawramani ◽◾

He is an independent Islamic researcher/writer with extensive self-directed study of classical sources, rather than a formally trained traditional scholar.

Even though he isn't a scholar and yet has developed his own, somewhat questionable mathematical hadith verification method despite having no scholarship, he also has a number of excellently written article where he quoted traditionalist scholars and resources, such as his articles on Traditionalist critique of prohibition of drawings and Statues of Humans and Animals, Celebrating National Holidays (such as New Year's day), Celebrating Valentine's day and Halloween. And since his article on Friendship with the opposite gender is also in line with the scholars mentioned above, I thought would be worth sharing.

>He basically argues that friendship between men and women is not inherently prohibited because there is no explicit Qur’anic verse or authentic hadith that bans it. He believes a man and a woman can even become best friends, however close emotional bonds can become dangerous because attraction and attachment may naturally develop. He emphasizes that such friendships should maintain Islamic boundaries, avoid situations like private seclusion, and require honesty and self-control.

• Can a Muslim woman have male friends? The Islamic view of having friends of the opposite sex

---

🔷🔶 Translations of the non English Articles and Videos: 🔶🔷

🔹🔸 Dar Al Ifta Egypt: 🔸🔹

>Limits and Guidelines for Interaction Between Men and Women

>Fatwa Date: 28 May 2024

>Fatwa No.: 8393

>From the Fatwas of: Professor Dr. Shawki Ibrahim Allam

>Category: Gender Mixing (Ikhtilāṭ)

>Question:

>>What are the limits of interaction between men and women? What is the ruling on relationships between boys and girls, whether friendship or otherwise? What are the guidelines for mixing between men and women so that we neither tempt others nor become tempted ourselves?

>Answer:

>>Islamic law has taken a middle path in defining the interaction between women and unrelated men. It did not completely prohibit such interaction in a way that would isolate women from society, nor did it leave the door completely open in their dealings with men. Rather, Islamic law permits women to interact with unrelated men while maintaining guidelines that preserve Islamic values and morals.

>>Therefore, mixing between the sexes in schools, universities, workplaces, and other public gatherings and occasions is permissible and there is no religious objection to it, as long as it remains within the limits of public manners, Islamic rulings, and ethical conduct.

>>The Prophetic Sunnah indicates this. Among the evidence is what the two authentic hadith collections (Bukhari and Muslim) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa‘d al-Sa‘idi (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:

>>“When Abu Usayd al-Sa‘idi got married, he invited the Prophet ﷺ and his companions. His wife, Umm Usayd, prepared the food for them and served it to them.”

>>Al-Bukhari included this under the chapter: “A woman serving men at a wedding and serving them herself.”

>>The scholar Ibn Battal said in his commentary on Sahih al-Bukhari:

>>“This indicates that hijab (meaning the separation of women from men in place and direct interaction) is not obligatory upon believing women in general; rather, it was specific to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ. This is also what Allah mentioned in His Book: ‘And when you ask them (the wives of the Prophet) for something, ask them from behind a partition.’ (Qur’an 33:53).”

>>It is also narrated in the two authentic hadith collections from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) regarding the story of Abu Talhah al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him) when he hosted a guest. It states:

>>“They made it appear to him that they were eating, while they spent the night hungry.”

>>In another narration by Ibn Abi al-Dunya in Hospitality to Guests, from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), it says:

>>“The man said to his wife: ‘Prepare this bread and add butter to it, then bring it near, and tell the servant to put out the lamp.’ She and he pretended to chew until the guest thought they were eating.”

>>The apparent meaning is that they sat together around the same dish. The Prophet ﷺ said about them:

>>“Allah was amazed by what you both did with your guest tonight.”

>>And the verse was revealed about them:

>>“They give preference over themselves, even though they are in need.” (Qur’an 59:9)

>>As for the guidelines of mixing between men and women, they include: observing Allah’s limits regarding the gaze, hearing, and emotions, and avoiding khalwah (private seclusion) which is not permissible except between close relatives (mahrams). Allah says:

>>“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.” (Qur’an 24:30)

>>And Allah says:

>>“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and not to reveal their adornment except that which normally appears.” (Qur’an 24:31)

>>From the above, the answer to the question becomes clear.

>>And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

🔹🔸 Umar Faruque: 🔸🔹

[Video title translated into English: "Co-education and Friendship Between Boys and Girls — What Does Islam Say?"]

>Peace and mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you. Dear viewers and listeners, brothers and sisters, in schools, colleges, and universities, boys and girls study together. Many times, it is seen that a friendship develops between a boy and a girl. So how does Islam view this matter? Today, I will discuss this topic.

>First, let us see how Islam views boys and girls studying together.

>There is fundamentally no problem with boys and girls studying together. Islam does not declare it haram. Rather, boys and girls can study together. However, Islam has given some guidelines that must be followed. When men and women meet and interact with each other, Allah has mentioned certain rules in the Qur’an, specifically in verses 30 and 31 of Surah An-Nur.

>In verse 30, Allah instructs men to lower their gaze. They should not look at women with an inappropriate or lustful gaze. Secondly, they should protect their private parts and properly cover the areas that need to be covered.

>In verse 31, Allah instructs women to also lower their gaze. They should not look at non-mahram men with an inappropriate or lustful gaze. They should protect their private parts. For women, this includes covering their private areas as well as their chest and the surrounding areas so that they are not exposed.

>Another instruction given to women is that they should conceal their adornment and jewellery. If they wear adornments on any part of their body, they should cover them and not display them openly. However, if there are parts that are normally visible, such as the face, wrists, or feet, there is no problem if they remain visible. If they have adornment around their chest or neck area, they should cover it with their scarf and place their scarf over their chest. These instructions have been given for women.

>Therefore, when boys and girls study together, these guidelines must be followed. If they are studying together, they must observe these instructions.

>Now we come to whether friendship between boys and girls is allowed.

>There is no problem or sin if a friendship develops between a boy and a girl. However, one must be careful that the matter does not turn into something else.

>Because Satan is always present with human beings, and the human self (nafs) can also deceive a person. Therefore, one must remain cautious.

>The Prophet ﷺ said — as narrated in Sahih al-Bukhari (Hadith 6243) and Sahih Muslim (Hadith 2657), from Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) — that Allah has naturally placed certain desires within every child of Adam.

>The Prophet ﷺ explained that Allah has created human beings with sexual desire, and everyone will experience it. Attraction toward the opposite gender is something natural and will exist.

>Now, if someone has a friendship with a person of the opposite gender, they will talk with them and meet with them. In such a situation, one must be careful because of the zina of the eyes — which is looking. If someone looks with an inappropriate gaze, this is considered the zina of the eyes.

>Then there is the zina of the tongue — which is speaking. If conversations become attractive, flirtatious, sexually suggestive, or are the type of conversations that can lead toward sexual desire, then this is considered the zina of the tongue.

>The Prophet ﷺ then said that after these stages, the self begins to desire and becomes attracted. Eventually, what happens?

>The private parts either carry it out or reject it. The actual act of zina is either committed or avoided.

>Therefore, before reaching that final stage, a person must avoid the earlier steps. They must avoid inappropriate looks, inappropriate conversations, and allowing attraction and desire to reach that level. These matters must be kept in mind.

>May Allah Almighty grant all of us the ability to understand the religion correctly.

>And all praise belongs to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

🔹🔸 Javed Ahmed Ghamidi 🔸🔹

>Question:

>>My question is: Can Muslim young people have boyfriends and girlfriends and date? If not, then how will they find suitable partners for marriage?

>Answer:

>>Yes, because two words have become especially significant, and when they are spoken, they create a certain image in people’s minds. So we should move beyond just these words.

>>Our children today go outside. When they grow up, they go to educational institutions. They go to colleges and universities. Obviously, there are girls there as well; they study together and sit together. Therefore, a connection can develop, or a connection can develop through work. This is not something forbidden, and it has not been prohibited.

>>When they meet each other in this way, liking can develop, and sometimes a person even makes a decision based on that liking: “I will marry this person.” All of this is completely permissible.

>>The thing about which Islam is very sensitive is this: do not go near immoral sexual behavior (zina).

>>Because, as a doctor was explaining earlier, people fight against addiction. Addiction is not only caused by things like tea, caffeine, or intoxicants; immoral sexual behavior and sexual desires can also become an addiction.

>>So just as Islam established the principle regarding intoxicants that even a drop of it was prohibited, similarly it has instructed people not to even go near zina.

>>Therefore, every man, every woman, every boy, and every girl must avoid going near zina. They must protect their honor, because they have to build a home in the future, and that home must be built on love, connection, trust, and loyalty.

>>For the preparation of such a great institution (marriage), Allah Almighty is not willing to accept or tolerate zina in any form.

>>Three major sins have been identified: 1. Shirk (associating partners with Allah), 2. Murder, 3. Zina (adultery/fornication).

>>So we have to educate our children because they are going to carry a very great responsibility. That responsibility will be based on love and trust. To prepare for it, protect your honor and your chastity — this applies to both girls and boys.

>>For this, there are certain precautionary measures that people are taught:

>>Do not sit alone together in private.

>>Do not put yourself in danger.

>>Maintain some distance.

>>Observe proper manners.

>>Be careful regarding your clothing.

>>This education should be given to children. We should teach them that in our religion there is no room for establishing any sexual relationship before marriage, in any form.

>>They must stay away from that.

>>Of course, our children go outside, so just as we tell them about people who sell drugs and intoxicants, we should also warn them about these things. These matters can eventually corrupt a person’s entire moral life.

>>Therefore, people should be educated about these issues from the beginning.

>>The point is this: giving a fatwa that merely says the use of the words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” is forbidden is not the correct approach, because feelings of friendship develop — they develop while studying and while meeting people. What every child should understand is that this path is dangerous and requires the highest level of caution.

---

Nouman Ali Khan says that every scholar he has gone to told him that music is halal. Even the ones who publicly say music is prohibited told him in private meeting that music isn't unanimously haram.

I am genuinely furious when I think about how much damage contemporary mainstream conservative clerics have done to an entire generation of Muslims with their obsession over turning normal human interaction into something terrifying.

So many young Muslims are taught that simply talking to the opposite gender is dangerous. Having a female friend is haram. Being part of a mixed friend group is haram. Laughing, joking, studying together, hanging out in a public place — all of these normal parts of human life is deemed sinful. Instead of teaching young people maturity, self-control, respect, and how to treat others with dignity, the message is basically: "Stay away. Fear it. Avoid it. The opposite gender is a source of temptation."

I also used to believe these in my teenage years. Now looking back at that mentality, it sounds completely irrational.

The contemporary mainstream sheikhs treat millions of young men and women as if they have no ability to control themselves. They create a worldview where a boy and girl sitting together in a café, talking, laughing, or being friends is automatically viewed through the lens of temptation and sin. It creates a culture of fear instead of a culture of responsibility.

---

And then I discovered something that honestly made me relieved: there are respected, high-ranking Islamic scholars who do not think this way.

• Sheikh Ali Gomaa, the former Grand Mufti of Egypt (2003–2013) and a member of Al-Azhar’s Council of Senior Scholars, was asked directly whether boys and girls being friends, going out together, joking, and spending time together is haram. His response was basically: no. He asked what exactly is forbidden about normal interaction. He explained that men and women have always interacted throughout human history and that interaction itself is not the problem. The problem is immoral behavior, lack of dignity, or crossing ethical boundaries.

• And then there is Dr. Magdi Ashour, former Secretary of Fatwa at Dar al-Ifta Egypt and advisor to the Grand Mufti. His answer was also completely different from the fear-based approach. He explained that friendship or companionship between a boy and a girl is not prohibited. Sitting together in a café, being in a public place, and interacting respectfully is not the issue. Only isolating yourself in a secluded place where temptation or harm may occur is prohibited

These are Egyptian scholars who held some of the highest religious positions in the country. The former Grand Mufti of Egypt. Scholars connected to Dar al-Ifta and Al-Azhar.

---

• And honestly, I wish these videos existed when I was a teenager. I wish I had heard these answers back then. I wish I knew that there were respected scholars who did not believe I had to be afraid of normal friendships. Maybe I would have felt more comfortable socially. Maybe I would have been able to build more friendships. Maybe I would not have looked at interactions with girls as something dangerous that had to be avoided.

When you grow up constantly hearing that boys and girls cannot just be friends, you start seeing half of humanity differently. You become awkward. You become anxious. You miss out on normal experiences that other people take for granted. Meanwhile, people from cultures with healthier approaches learn how to communicate, respect boundaries, and build normal relationships from a young age.

And what is ironic is that many of these contemporary conservative voices claim they are protecting young people. But the result is the opposite. Instead of creating emotionally mature adults who know how to treat each other respectfully, they create people who are uncomfortable, inexperienced, and afraid.

The solution was never pretending men and women do not exist around each other. The solution is teaching character. Teach boys not to harass women. Teach boys to respect women as human beings. Teach girls the same. Teach everyone responsibility. Teach people how to handle emotions. Teach people dignity. But stop acting like a boy and a girl sitting in a public place drinking coffee is the collapse of civilization.

---

What makes me hopeful is that the internet is allowing Muslims to finally see these different voices. For decades, many people only heard one narrow interpretation presented as if it was the only Islamic position. Now people can listen to rational scholars like them who approach these issues differently. Hopefully future Muslim children including mine will grow up with more balance than my generation did. I hope they grow up knowing that Islam does not require them to fear normal human friendships. I hope they learn faith with wisdom, not fear.

I am genuinely furious when I think about how much damage contemporary mainstream conservative clerics have done to an entire generation of Muslims with their obsession over turning normal human interaction into something terrifying.

So many young Muslims are taught that simply talking to the opposite gender is dangerous. Having a female friend is haram. Being part of a mixed friend group is haram. Laughing, joking, studying together, hanging out in a public place — all of these normal parts of human life is deemed sinful. Instead of teaching young people maturity, self-control, respect, and how to treat others with dignity, the message is basically: "Stay away. Fear it. Avoid it. The opposite gender is a source of temptation."

I also used to believe these in my teenage years. Now looking back at that mentality, it sounds completely irrational.

The contemporary mainstream sheikhs treat millions of young men and women as if they have no ability to control themselves. They create a worldview where a boy and girl sitting together in a café, talking, laughing, or being friends is automatically viewed through the lens of temptation and sin. It creates a culture of fear instead of a culture of responsibility.

---

And then I discovered something that honestly made me relieved: there are respected, high-ranking Islamic scholars who do not think this way.

• Sheikh Ali Gomaa, the former Grand Mufti of Egypt (2003–2013) and a member of Al-Azhar’s Council of Senior Scholars, was asked directly whether boys and girls being friends, going out together, joking, and spending time together is haram. His response was basically: no. He asked what exactly is forbidden about normal interaction. He explained that men and women have always interacted throughout human history and that interaction itself is not the problem. The problem is immoral behavior, lack of dignity, or crossing ethical boundaries.

• And then there is Dr. Magdi Ashour, former Secretary of Fatwa at Dar al-Ifta Egypt and advisor to the Grand Mufti. His answer was also completely different from the fear-based approach. He explained that friendship or companionship between a boy and a girl is not prohibited. Sitting together in a café, being in a public place, and interacting respectfully is not the issue. Only isolating yourself in a secluded place where temptation or harm may occur is prohibited

These are Egyptian scholars who held some of the highest religious positions in the country. The former Grand Mufti of Egypt. Scholars connected to Dar al-Ifta and Al-Azhar.

---

• And honestly, I wish these videos existed when I was a teenager. I wish I had heard these answers back then. I wish I knew that there were respected scholars who did not believe I had to be afraid of normal friendships. Maybe I would have felt more comfortable socially. Maybe I would have been able to build more friendships. Maybe I would not have looked at interactions with girls as something dangerous that had to be avoided.

When you grow up constantly hearing that boys and girls cannot just be friends, you start seeing half of humanity differently. You become awkward. You become anxious. You miss out on normal experiences that other people take for granted. Meanwhile, people from cultures with healthier approaches learn how to communicate, respect boundaries, and build normal relationships from a young age.

And what is ironic is that many of these contemporary conservative voices claim they are protecting young people. But the result is the opposite. Instead of creating emotionally mature adults who know how to treat each other respectfully, they create people who are uncomfortable, inexperienced, and afraid.

The solution was never pretending men and women do not exist around each other. The solution is teaching character. Teach boys not to harass women. Teach boys to respect women as human beings. Teach girls the same. Teach everyone responsibility. Teach people how to handle emotions. Teach people dignity. But stop acting like a boy and a girl sitting in a public place drinking coffee is the collapse of civilization.

---

What makes me hopeful is that the internet is allowing Muslims to finally see these different voices. For decades, many people only heard one narrow interpretation presented as if it was the only Islamic position. Now people can listen to rational scholars like them who approach these issues differently. Hopefully future Muslim children including mine will grow up with more balance than my generation did. I hope they grow up knowing that Islam does not require them to fear normal human friendships. I hope they learn faith with wisdom, not fear.

মূল ভিডিওর লিংক: https://www.youtube.com/live/uFAdstXem8s

মূল ভিডিওর ৩৭ মিনিটের দিকে এই বিষয়টা নিয়ে আলোচনা শুরু হয়।

আমি আগে ভাবতাম যে বটবাহিনী সবাই গণহারে রিপোর্ট মেরে আইডি পেইজ নষ্ট করে দেয়, কিন্তু এখন দেখছি কাহিনী অন্যরকম। যারা ফেসবুকে নিয়মিত লেখালেখি করেন এবং বটবাহিনীর আক্রোশের মুখে পড়ে প্রায়শই আপনাদের পোস্ট রিমুভ হয়ে যায়, আইডি/পেইজ ডিজেবল হয়ে যায় আপনারা এই আলোচনাটা শুনতে পারেন। ফেসবুকের ছাপড়ি হ্যাকার স্প্যামার টাইপের পেইজগুলো খুব গর্বের সাথে মানুষজনের একাউন্ট পেইজ নষ্ট করে দিয়ে সেটার ক্রিনশট নিয়ে ভাব মারে, এদের কাজের পদ্ধতি সম্পর্কে আলোচনা করা হয়েছে এখানে। এই বিষয়ে সতর্ক হলে আপনাদের মূল্যবান আইডি/পেইজ হয়তো রক্ষা করতে পারবেন।