u/Sad_Camel_476

she’s applying to work with children with learning disabilities and it pisses me off that she gets to say she’s the mother of an autistic child when i got diagnosed in adulthood in a different country and she wasn’t around… i get that everyone lies a little and embellishes things in order to get jobs. like yes, technically, i am her child and i am autistic. but who figured that out? who helped me apply for disability? not her at all!

i guess its worse when she’s asking me to make her resume and her cover letter. she also asked me to replace “autistic child” by “daughter with ASD” (i am nonbinary) 🫠🫠

edit: i should mention that i’m not out to her, so she’s not actively choosing to misgender me, but it’s still unpleasant to me

i’ve had issues with my voice for as long as i can remember. i was always able to talk, but i was the kid being told to speak up. i’m going to try to explain my issues but it’s pretty hard to explain.

if you offered to give me 100 dollars if i screamed for 2 seconds, i’d want to do it because free money, but i genuinely don’t think i’d be able to. i’ve screamed on roller coasters and stuff, so i’m capable of it in certain scenarios, but i just can’t do it on command, even if i really want to.

this isn’t the case with just screaming. i attended a japanese class for a year, and this one time, i said a sentence, and my teacher wanted me to say it with more intonation, a little more emotion, and she would repeat the phrase the way she wanted me to say it, and tell me to repeat it, but the 3 times i tried it was just impossible for me to not say it very flatly. i can’t do things like that with my voice unless it comes from a genuine place. same with like, trying to be funny and doing a voice. i can sometimes do it if i’m very very comfortable with the person with me and im feeling brave, but other times i just can’t, even if i try. i’m home alone rn, and i still don’t think i could do it. i also have a similar problem with saying things i don’t mean. in the past, a therapist tried to give me pointers on how to have conversations, but it’s really hard for me to say something that i don’t spontaneously come up with, and is instead something that i feel like i “should” say. idk, it makes me feel like a monkey who’s being made to dance.

so i’m very quiet, too quiet sometimes. i also was OBSESSED with singing in my early teens. i never was particularly good at it, but i wanted to be a singer, and was singing every opportunity i got, practicing certain songs. of course though, my parents didn’t want to put me in any kind of vocal lessons, and also were like “you’re not talented enough to be a singer” (i was literally 12 😭) so that was shut down, but i still dream of learning singing, and being able to control my voice. but the issue is that would require me to do vocal exercises, and that feels literally impossible to me in every scenario i try to imagine. but i really really wish i could! i don’t know what it would take for me to be able to.

so uhhh… can anyone relate? any advice?