u/Sad_Camel_476

i’m transmasc and nonbinary, and i currently live in europe, but whenever i go back i always get more gender dysphoria. during my last years living in morocco i was super masc and i often got “mistaken” for a boy (which always made me sooo happy) and was convinced i would fully medically transition as soon as i could. but when i moved to france i slowly became more comfortable with being a little more feminine.

when i go visit my parents, i often start feeling the way i used to when i was more masc, and i start really wishing i could just pass as a man

i got a suncatcher and i absolutely love it. when it’s sunny it makes little rainbows and specks of colored light all over my room

but the problem is that this is only when it’s sunny, and even then, i only get about 2 hours where my suncatcher can catch the sun. it does make it more special, but sometimes i’d just really like to look at little rainbows on my walls T-T

i can’t seem to find any products that would achieve a similar effect without requiring sunlight. i’d love any suggestions!

IM BORN AND RAISED IN MOROCCO AND IM TRANSGENDER NONBINARY WITH PRONOUNS AND BLUE HAIR AND I KISS BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS !!!!!

I HAD LOUBIYA WITH BREAD FOR LUNCH AND DINNER 5 TIMES IN A ROW THIS WEEK AND I HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND SO KINKY THAT IT WOULD GIVE YOUR GRANDMA A HEART ATTACK AND A HUGE BONER!!!!!

I GREW UP PLAYING 7ABA AND 7ADIDA AND IM GOING TO PRIDE THIS MONTH LOOKING LIKE A FREAK THEY SHOULD PUT IN ZOOS!!!!!

WE EXIST!!!!! AND IM AUTISTIC!!!! EVERYONE GET WOKER N O W !!!!!!!

i feel like i’ve been lacking in oxytocin and i generally feel a little lonely. i don’t really have any friends or family near where i live, so i can’t just go hang out with someone

i thought getting a haircut might be a good way to get a little bit of human touch, but ive been cutting my own hair and i need my bangs to be a very specific length and ive had too many experiences with hairdressers that didnt know how to deal with my curly wavy bangs 😭

any similar ideas that don’t involve someone messing with my bangs?

hello, ive been diagnosed with moderate asthma a few days ago, and got prescribed a daily inhaler and ventolin for asthma attacks, but i didn’t get the chance to ask my doctor what exactly that entails.

the way i’ve seen people describe their asthma attacks sounds way worse than anything i’ve ever had. i’m always able to breathe, and if i do start coughing after exercise or after i get exposed to something that triggers it, it goes away on its own after a few minutes at most.

should i still be using ventolin in that case? or is it better to avoid it?

i specifically mean words ending in 虫. i’m curious because i was very delighted to find out that the むし in those words was in fact, the kanji for bug!

searching on online dictionaries was fruitless, i couldn’t even get 泣き虫 and 弱虫 to show up without directly searching for them

i was recently diagnosed with asthma in my adulthood. i don’t think asthma is the source of all my mental health problems, but i think it might have been an exacerbating factor.

i’ve tried various medications to try and manage my depressive symptoms, but the only one that worked is mirtazapine, a drug that makes you SLEEP. it knocks me the fuck out every night, and it’s known to increase sleep quality.

now, i’ve always thought i slept pretty well. i never had much trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, and generally felt well-rested in the morning. but i wonder if that’s just because i was used to how things were for me. i think there’s a chance that my asthma has been making my sleep quality worse all along, but i never noticed it.

interestingly, i also have summer SAD, and from what i understand, it’s mostly linked to lower sleep quality due to higher temperatures. so i wonder if it’s really been all about sleep for me, and asthma was lowering my quality of sleep, therefore making me more depressed.

i’d love to hear any thoughts on this, or if anyone has had similar experiences!

like yeah, no wonder i developed severe social anxiety as a teen if all i’m being taught is to cower :/ that and verbal abuse

does anyone else relate? in my case, this happened for multiple reasons:

1- i’m autistic, and if you don’t know, autism is something you have from birth. i struggle with a lot of things including communication, so i always felt disconnected from my peers

2- my parents decided to not teach me darija until that came back to bite them on the ass 😭 they just taught me french and when i couldn’t speak with my grandma and couldn’t go to a french school bc of my dads work they were like huh this isn’t good actually. and i lived most of my life in tetouan, ppl don’t freaking speak french there, and that worsened my communication issues

3- i’m queer, and not even the easy and simple kind of queer that western societies accept and understand. idc if this makes someone mad, i’m not changing that part of myself. but yeah that’s pretty isolating and especially when you’re autistic and don’t have the social capabilities to find other queer ppl and community in a place where it’s unacceptable

4- when i was 15 and had REALLY poor mental health, suicidal, didn’t go to school, hated myself, my mom didn’t know what to do about me so she just sent me to france, which was definitely good for my general well being but it did mean i was an immigrant at a different country from a young age, and when you already have so many difficulties that make it impossible to connect to your own culture, that was the nail in the coffin

i know i have a lot of privilege for being able to “escape” and live in better conditions, but it just sucks that i don’t feel like i belong to any culture. i’ll never be french yet moroccans look at me and they’re like “nah you’re not moroccan” because they can’t fathom the idea of someone from their ethnicity being weird and strange. at least if i had the kind of autism that made you have intellectual disabilities, i would just be l7ma9 and have a place in the culture

why do i have to endure a WHOLE WEEK of 30°C weather IN MAY in a place that’s supposed to be COLDER!!!!! why can’t the weather be NORMAL!!!!! i need to go out and touch grass for my mental health but i’d need to go out at 6 am to not suffer greatly

she’s applying to work with children with learning disabilities and it pisses me off that she gets to say she’s the mother of an autistic child when i got diagnosed in adulthood in a different country and she wasn’t around… i get that everyone lies a little and embellishes things in order to get jobs. like yes, technically, i am her child and i am autistic. but who figured that out? who helped me apply for disability? not her at all!

i guess its worse when she’s asking me to make her resume and her cover letter. she also asked me to replace “autistic child” by “daughter with ASD” (i am nonbinary) 🫠🫠

edit: i should mention that i’m not out to her, so she’s not actively choosing to misgender me, but it’s still unpleasant to me

i’ve had issues with my voice for as long as i can remember. i was always able to talk, but i was the kid being told to speak up. i’m going to try to explain my issues but it’s pretty hard to explain.

if you offered to give me 100 dollars if i screamed for 2 seconds, i’d want to do it because free money, but i genuinely don’t think i’d be able to. i’ve screamed on roller coasters and stuff, so i’m capable of it in certain scenarios, but i just can’t do it on command, even if i really want to.

this isn’t the case with just screaming. i attended a japanese class for a year, and this one time, i said a sentence, and my teacher wanted me to say it with more intonation, a little more emotion, and she would repeat the phrase the way she wanted me to say it, and tell me to repeat it, but the 3 times i tried it was just impossible for me to not say it very flatly. i can’t do things like that with my voice unless it comes from a genuine place. same with like, trying to be funny and doing a voice. i can sometimes do it if i’m very very comfortable with the person with me and im feeling brave, but other times i just can’t, even if i try. i’m home alone rn, and i still don’t think i could do it. i also have a similar problem with saying things i don’t mean. in the past, a therapist tried to give me pointers on how to have conversations, but it’s really hard for me to say something that i don’t spontaneously come up with, and is instead something that i feel like i “should” say. idk, it makes me feel like a monkey who’s being made to dance.

so i’m very quiet, too quiet sometimes. i also was OBSESSED with singing in my early teens. i never was particularly good at it, but i wanted to be a singer, and was singing every opportunity i got, practicing certain songs. of course though, my parents didn’t want to put me in any kind of vocal lessons, and also were like “you’re not talented enough to be a singer” (i was literally 12 😭) so that was shut down, but i still dream of learning singing, and being able to control my voice. but the issue is that would require me to do vocal exercises, and that feels literally impossible to me in every scenario i try to imagine. but i really really wish i could! i don’t know what it would take for me to be able to.

so uhhh… can anyone relate? any advice?