u/SamCam9992

You don’t need to forgive someone to move on from what they did to you. People always say “forgiveness is for you, not them,” but sometimes that pressure to forgive just makes the whole thing worse. It can start feeling like the hurt person has to wrap everything up neatly so everyone else can feel better. Some people heal through forgiveness, and good for them, but some people heal by accepting what happened, knowing it was wrong, and moving on without giving that person a clean slate they didn’t earn. You can heal and still be angry.

I get why they have rules. But I’m confused about how the subreddit still functions when so many posts seem to get removed for being too controversial, too personal, too common, too broad, too political, too low-effort, or better suited for another subreddit.At a certain point, what actually counts as an unpopular opinion there? I’ve seen the most benign opinions get removed by the mods immediately. I’m not even talking about iffy topics like race, politics or gender, but literally the most random ones get removed.

I’m 34F, no kids yet, but I’d likely want to try in the next couple of years. I’ve been dealing with gallbladder issues and was in the hospital yesterday. They did a full abdominal and pelvic ultrasound, mostly to get a clearer picture of everything, and I was surprised to find out I likely have multiple uterine fibroids. The gallbladder situation has been stressful enough since I’m likely looking at surgery soon, so this kind of threw me. Fibroids weren’t even on my radar before yesterday, and hearing “masses on your uterus” was scary, even though I know they’re usually benign. I haven’t really noticed obvious symptoms, at least not that I connected to this. My periods are regular and, if anything, shorter than average, usually about two days of bleeding. I do get pretty severe cramps, though. I don’t know the size, type, or location yet, so I know I need to follow up. But I’m curious how others found out and what the process was like afterward. Did your doctors mostly monitor them, or did you need treatment? And for anyone who found out before having kids, did it affect pregnancy planning or change how your doctors approached things?

I’m 34F, no kids yet, and this is all very new to me.
I’ve been dealing with gallbladder issues and was in the hospital yesterday. They did a full abdominal and pelvic ultrasound, mostly to get a clearer picture, and I was surprised to find out I likely have multiple uterine fibroids.
The gallbladder stuff has been stressful enough since I’m likely looking at surgery soon, so this kind of threw me. I’d barely heard of fibroids before yesterday, and hearing “masses on your uterus” was scary, even though I know they’re usually benign. They don’t know the size, type, or location yet, so I know I need to follow up. But I’m curious if anyone else found out they had fibroids in their 30s. What was the process like after they were discovered? Did your doctors mostly monitor them, or did you need treatment?

I’m a server in Canada, and every time I travel to the States or talk to American servers, they make it sound like splitting a bill is a huge pain, or that some restaurants just won’t do it. Is it a POS thing? Here it’s literally just a couple taps, even if people are splitting appetizers or shared items. Then we bring the debit machine over and everyone passes it around. It doesn’t really take extra time, and it’s totally normal culturally. I’d say nine times out of 10, if a group is dining together it’s gonna be split bills here. And any time it is all on one bill it’s because somebody’s actually covering it and paying for the group not because they expect to be paid back.

I also find the Venmo culture kind of strange. We have e-transfer here, which seems simpler to me, but we mostly use it for bigger things like hotels, flights, group gifts, etc. We don’t really expect people to pay us back for every coffee or drink.

Mods, feel free to remove this if it’s not the right place.
I’m not American and got super invested in DCC through the Netflix show, so I’ve gone back and started watching the old CMT show. I’m realizing I’m probably missing a lot of cultural context around American football, Texas football, Southern culture, religion, etc.

The show makes football in Texas seem absolutely massive. Is it really that big culturally? Is DCC considered a huge status thing there?

I’m also curious if the women on the show are reflective of Southern women more broadly, or if it’s more specific to dancers/pageant-type women already in that world.
Also, based only on watching the show, it kind of seems like the Cowboys don’t actually win that much, lol. Is that true, or am I just missing context?

Would love any recommendations for articles, books, docs, podcasts, or even just general background so I can understand the show better.

I had never watched the original Making the Team, but I liked the Netflix show so I started watching the old seasons before the new one. It’s wild how different the beauty standards were in the early 2000s. Obviously the way they talked about weight/body image back then was awful, but the girls also just looked more like real people. Distinct faces, different smiles, normal skin, little wrinkles, blemishes, etc. They looked like individuals. Now with the Netflix version, everyone is obviously gorgeous, but it’s very Instagram face/perfect hair/perfect skin/same smile, and they kind of start to blend together.

Also the dancing difference is so funny. Some of the early auditions are so rough. No aerials, no crazy tricks. Now they’re basically world-class athletes.

I’m doing an SVU rewatch and I’m currently on season 12, and I forgot how much I miss these ridiculous propaganda-style episodes where they try to pigeonhole a social issue into every plot.I just finished the one about video game addiction, and now I’m on the random episode that’s basically trying to say soda addiction is leading to children’s suicide.

God, I love this stupid show.

Does anyone know what happened around Angrignon Park/Angrignon metro in LaSalle tonight?
There’s nothing on the news yet, but when I drove by earlier there were dozens and dozens of police cars, SWAT-style vans, command posts, and a few ambulances. Local community groups are all over the place right now. The most common rumours are that there may have been a shooting during a community festival and/or that someone tried to run over a cop and the cops opened fire. A few people are saying two people are dead, but I haven’t seen any confirmation at all.

Maybe I'm getting old, but the reaction to Phoebe's phone policy is genuinely breaking my brain.

Yondr has been around for years. Plenty of artists, comedians, and even Paul McCartney have used it. If you have a medical need like a Dexcom, accommodations exist and are pretty straightforward. What I don't understand is why so many people are acting like being separated from their phone for a couple of hours is some impossible hardship. And before anyone accuses me of being anti-phone, I have embarrassingly high screen time myself. The only reason I ever put my phone away is because something forces me to. If you really need to check your phone every five minutes, it’ll take you less than a minute to walk through the nearest yonder employee who can unlock it with a magnet

That's actually why I love movies and live theatre. For a few hours, you're fully present and experiencing something as it happens. Nobody is asking people to go a week without a phone. It's a concert. I'm only in my 30s, and my earliest concerts were basically phone-free because smartphones weren't everywhere yet. This isn't ancient history. I've never really bought into the whole "iPad baby" discourse, but some of the reactions to Phoebe's phone policy have been making me reconsider.

Has anyone struggled with deciding when it's actually worth going back to the ER? Please note where I am in Canada we do not have urgent care, and the emergency room is usually the only option.

I've already been to the ER twice for gallbladder attacks that reached about 9/10 pain. Both times they kept me for around 12 hours, gave me IV fluids and pain medication, ran bloodwork, and monitored me for signs of infection before sending me home.

I have a surgical consult in about a week, but for the last 3-4 days I've had a constant mild-to-moderate pain/burning sensation in my gallbladder area. It's nothing like the full attacks I've had before, but it's also not completely going away. It fluctuates between about a 2/10 (just an uncomfortable twinge) and a 6/10 (more of a burning pain where my gallbladder is).

The ER told me to come back if I had pain lasting more than six hours, but I'm not sure if they meant severe attack-level pain or any persistent gallbladder pain.

I've been keeping an eye on warning signs like fever, jaundice/yellow eyes, vomiting, etc., and so far I don't have any of those.

For those of you who have been through this, what was your threshold for deciding to go back to the ER while waiting for surgery?

Officially 8 days away from my pre-op consult, and about a week and a half out from my last major attack.

I've basically been living on soup, oatmeal, and coffee because I'm terrified of triggering another attack, but I'm still dealing with daily soreness and tenderness in my gallbladder area. Not severe pain, just that constant reminder that it's there.

I am absolutely terrified of surgery, but at this point I can't wait to have this thing out. Living in fear of the next attack and feeling uncomfortable every day is getting old fast.

I wrote to my MNA today asking Quebec to consider legislation similar to Ontario’s to limit excessive ticket resale markups and crack down on scalping bots.

What really triggered me was seeing the amount of Bell Centre watch party tickets immediately up for resale, even though they were only $12 and the proceeds were going to charity. Feels like every major concert, Habs game or festival sells out instantly now just to show up online at 3x the price five minutes later.

Sharing the letter in French and English in case anyone else wants to contact their own MNA and wants a template to work from:

English

Dear [MNA Name],

I am writing to ask that Quebec consider introducing legislation similar to Ontario’s Ticket Sales Act to better regulate ticket resale and protect consumers from excessive markups and scalping bots.

Over the past few years, it has become increasingly difficult for ordinary people and families to access concerts, sporting events and cultural activities at reasonable prices. Tickets are often purchased in bulk within minutes and immediately relisted online at several times their original value, making many events financially inaccessible.

I believe stronger consumer protections are needed to:
limit abusive resale markups;

-restrict the use of automated purchasing bots;

-improve transparency around ticket inventory and hidden fees;

-reduce fraudulent or speculative listings.

Live events are an important part of our cultural and community life, and consumers should have a fair opportunity to purchase tickets at reasonable prices instead of competing against professional resellers.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Français

Bonjour [Nom du député/de la députée],

Je vous écris afin de demander au Québec d’envisager une loi semblable à la Ticket Sales Act de l’Ontario afin de mieux encadrer la revente de billets et protéger les consommateurs contre les prix abusifs et les robots d’achat.

Depuis quelques années, il devient de plus en plus difficile pour les familles et les citoyens ordinaires d’avoir accès à des concerts, événements sportifs et activités culturelles à des prix raisonnables. Les billets sont souvent achetés en masse en quelques minutes puis remis en vente immédiatement à des prix largement supérieurs à leur valeur initiale.

Je crois que des protections supplémentaires sont nécessaires afin de :

-limiter les marges de revente abusives;

-mieux encadrer les robots d’achat;

-améliorer la transparence concernant les billets disponibles et les frais;

-réduire les fraudes et les ventes spéculatives.

Les événements culturels et sportifs font partie de notre vie collective, et les consommateurs devraient avoir une chance équitable d’acheter des billets à des prix raisonnables sans compétitionner contre des revendeurs professionnels.

Merci de votre attention.

Maybe unpopular opinion, but I don’t know if I can keep watching season 2 if they go through with all the girls getting married off and having to do “wifely duties.” I just don’t know if I wanna watch child rape victims every week.

I understand the actors are adults. I get that. But the characters are still teenagers, and I think it’s going to be really uncomfortable to watch. It was already hard enough watching the adult women go through that in The Handmaid’s Tale. And before anyone tells me that’s the point of the Handmaid’s Tale itself, I get that. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t portray it. I just don’t know if I personally can watch it.

And with Agnes/Hannah specifically, after everything she’s already been through, I just don’t know if I can sit through watching that happen to her too. Especially knowing how much June went through to try to avoid having her meet the same fate. I really hope they manage to find a way to avoid marrying them off like they did in the books, but I can’t see them doing it for all the characters.

Whoever cast this show deserves an award. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I saw a young ensemble cast with this much chemistry. There is not a single weak spot in the cast at all. Aside from Chase Infiniti, who’s obviously blown up since then, most of them are fresh faces and I had to keep checking IMDb because I couldn’t believe this was a first major role for so many of them.

The actress playing Becka is especially fantastic and I was shocked to learn she’s been doing Broadway since she was little and is still in university. Also really love seeing Rowan Blanchard back on TV. There’s something especially poignant about this being her first major television role in years after she was basically blacklisted for speaking up about sexual harassment on set.

Has anyone else found the waiting period before gallbladder surgery mentally exhausting?

I’ve been having gallbladder attacks for months, got diagnosed with gallstones, and ended up in the ER twice in the past week because the pain got so severe I could barely breathe or think straight. The doctors have been great, but the ER wait times where I am in Canada are so unpredictable. Earlier this week I was seen within 15 minutes and given pain medication, but yesterday I waited almost 12 hours.

I just got the surgery referral from my family doctor, but I was told the wait could still be weeks or even months.

What’s frustrating is that even the ER doctors seem annoyed that surgery will not be done emergently unless I develop an infection or something more dangerous. During my first visit the overnight ER doctor kept me so I could meet with general surgery the next morning, but both visits ended the same way: come back every time the attacks get severe because they’re worried it could eventually turn into an infection or sepsis.

Now I’m stuck in this limbo where I’m scared to eat because I never know what will trigger another attack. I also work a normal 9 to 5 office job, and while my boss and coworkers have been incredibly patient, it’s hard explaining that I can’t predict when I’ll suddenly need to go back to the hospital or when the surgeon’s office will finally call.
At this point it feels like I’m just waiting for either a surgery date or another attack bad enough to land me back in emergency. How did you all manage the anxiety and unpredictability while waiting for surgery? Did anyone else get scared to eat almost anything by the end?

Hello. wondering if anyone in Montreal, Quebec, Canada has experience getting referred for symptomatic gallbladder issues/gallstones recently. I ended up in the ER this week after several months of increasing pain attack in my upper right side, had an ultrasound confirming gallstones, and my family doctor has now sent a referral for a surgical consult. I know nobody can predict exact timelines, but I’m curious what people’s experiences were like lately in terms of how long it took to get the consult, how long after consult surgery happened, etc.

30F — Has anyone else dealt with urgent loose stool/diarrhea before gallbladder surgery? I’ve noticed a lot of post op stories mention it being a major issue (dumping syndrome, etc), but I’m curious how common it is beforehand.

I’ve apparently been having gallbladder attacks for around six months. I only recently realized that’s what they were after an ER visit and ultrasound confirmed gallstones. I’ll be having surgery sooner rather than later.

For the past several months I’ve also been having diarrhea a few times a week minimum, sometimes basically pure liquid (sorry for the TMI lol), often almost immediately after eating or even after drinking coffee. I’ve also been dealing with really bad heartburn/GERD around the same time.

Just wondering if anyone else had similar symptoms before getting their gallbladder removed, and if surgery helped at all.