u/Schrodingers_dad1403

I have a tendency to be misunderstood so I will be careful. I have no intention to bodyshame anyone. I want to know what you guys think.

I hear things like "Not being able to gain weight is as bad as not being able to lose weight" and "Skinny shaming is worse than fatshaming" a lot. Any kind of bodyshaming is terrible yes, skinny shaming is also terrible but is it really worse than fatshaming? People who said these kind of things have never experienced an eating disorder in my case (not all cases but in my case) and I don't know if they think that way because they've never experienced ed or am I thinking they're wrong because I have ed.

I don't know if I am not being objective bcs of my life with ed, but as far as I know, not being able to lose weight and getting fatshamed is far more dangerous, it's simply the one of the most common ways to develop an eating disorder. Isn't not having enough calories always worse and more dangerous than having more than enough calories? The beauty standarts also say "skinny is better than fat"

I don't want to offend or upset anyone and I am sorry if I did

All the proana tweets, all the fatphobia... I used to be triggered by it, now I'm not even triggered, just kinda felt sad. It's probably the unhealthiest thing I've seen. Like, I would never ever encourage people to >!starve!< and I've never encountered anyone in Reddit does this, it's probably against the rules. I don't know, I feel a little shaken. I've never had an edtwt account but I used to actively read threads and tweets and it suprised me how unhealthy I was.

What are your untrue facts?

1. Altitude affects your speed, I swear I am faster when I'm going from Robin to Pierre than Pierre to Robin

2. There are some types of rocks that will never give you stairs and some rocks (brown ones) that have stairs

3. There is no way you can harvest flowers at once without seeing "Inventory Full" sign, doesn't matter how many flowers you're taking

4. When you are in your farm, time is faster. Like I can get from anywhere to my farm in 10 minutes but never managed to get inside my house when I see 1:50 am and I'm in my farm

5. Your coop animals lowkey hate you, but not your barn animals.

6. If you are doing something near water (like trout derby) you will %100 drop some items in water because your inventory will be magically full

This may sounds dumb but I recently watched S1E7 where Angel said he has a soul and that's why he cares etc. but in that very episode we saw Darla cares about Angel, Master cares about Darla. So do vampires love/care?

I'm new so please no spoilers.

NOTE: I am not going to share numbers but I'll still use spoilers for some things that might be triggering

Okay I wasn't going to post this in here but honestly I don't know what to do and I genuinely need someone say something to me, any advice or anything.

I have some kind of restrictive bulimia, where I am stuck in a cycle of restriction-binge for almost 7 years. My partner knows about it, he also doesn't have a healthy relationship with food and he is afraid of gaining weight where his BMI is kinda >!low!< . I, on the other hand share a similar BMI, and recently trying to somehow recover/evolve my ed to a healthier version.

We are living together and I thought this is a great opportunity for me to get better, get rid of binge (cause you know, i feel ashamed) and starvation, cook regularly and make every food my safe food with the right amount. My plan was to consume >! right amount of calories to lose weight slowly and healthy !< but he is triggering me like, a lot. He doesn't count cals or doesn't restrict himself etc. but he just eat less. I'm pretty sure he is losing weight even though he don't know cause he doesn't count. And I feel like this is the right way to eat, like I am in some kind of weird, childish contest. He makes me want to >!starve!< .I don't think I have energy to be in a contest and I have no idea how and what should I tell him? I also have a theory that everyone near me eventually develop an ed so I want to be careful while talking to him. I thought and failed to find a single non-toxic way to express myself. Anyone experienced anything similar or am I just completely alone in this universe?

I am 23F. I have ADHD (Using 54 mg Concerta), OCD, ED (restrictive bulimia without purge). I have some sh scars, some intrusive thoughts as well and I am afraid to go to a psychiatrist except for prescribing Concerta because I think if I be blunt, they will insist to admit me. My eating disorder takes its power from my ocd and I refused every medications that may help ED because I can't deal with the mentality of gaining weight right now. I've been told by different psychiatrists that without medication and therapy, I cannot cure that combo of OCD&ED. It's been 6 years and in 6 years, all I did was to learn to live with this. Are they right? Is it possible to somehow help myself?

TW; SH

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I've been clean-ish for 6 months now but there are some scars in my arm that probably never fade away. Tbh, they're not even parallel, it looks like I had a "Shining" moment and I did this.

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I'm staying in college and wear fishnet oversleeve every single day. That doesn't look weird because of my style but I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. I feel like someone is squeezing my arm and I really want to don't give a fck about what my classmates or everyone thinks. But then I just can't. I always say "I don't care what people think about me, I want to live my life in my way." then afraid of people learn that I cut myself

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I tried henna tattoos but they fade away within a day. I just really wanted to be as careless as I claimed to be but I can't. Now, I'm going to get a shower and put my sleeve on :D

12 is my favourite doctor and today i was in the mood for Peter Capaldi (let's be honest, I always am) so I rewatched some episodes. Now, I love every Doctor but I can say something about all of them that I would do differently. Except 12th Doctor. So I was wondering, what is something about 12 (especially his personality, not the stories itself) that you dislike/change/prefer something else?

//TW FOR OCD AND ED (OBVIOUSLY)

Confession: I feel like my eating disorder is not valid because I don't purge, I restrict and it's mainly driven by OCD. I binge, then feel contaminated and dirty, clean myself and fast for 1 day. Then I try to recover with low calories (not always deadly low, sometimes it's just kinda low for someone trying to lose weight). Then, I binge. Since I don't purge, and my restrictions are not on deadly calories, I feel like my ed is not valid. This makes me angry because if it's not valid, why I suffer that much? Without an ed or OCD, I could've lost weight SO MUCH MORE

I'm just that angry because I binged last night and I have no idea how can someone eat without counting calories.

Before my previous binge, I spent almost 1 hour in market trying to convince myself to buy oat meal. I couldn't because I cannot calculate the exact calories of each meal and this is a deal breaker

I know I can't self diagnose and I need to go see a psychiatrist but tbh I'm sick of constant drug experiments on me, like "Oh hey, try this... No? What about that? Or, those together..." I just need to know does this sounds somehow understandable or familiar to you.

I think I'm going to vent a little

Right now, I'm lying in the bed and I want to yell, cry and idk, throw myself from a bridge just because I am ignored by him. Like, I know he is possibly sleeping and I'm really being unreasonable but I cannot stop this feeling. The worst part is, and I am ashamed to write it that, even if something bad was happened, I think I would still felt like it's personal. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why am I trying to ruin every good thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know why the fuck do I push people and than feel miserable because no one can stand me. He can. He can stand me, but he didn't answer and I want to yell at him because he doesn't love me as much as I love him. I really know I am being unreasonable, and I feel the urge to sabotage the only good thing in my life. I hate people for not having this black hole inside them. I would love to blow myself up just so everyone can see how dark and empty someone's inside can be. I am sick of hurting people I love, I swear I didn't mean to. I want to be a better person but somehow end up hurting everyone I care, like I know I do it but can't stop myself.

I'm sick of being happy too. They say "It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop." Not really.

It's not the fall that kills you, it's the height