u/Sea_Attorney_802

​I am so deeply exhausted and upset right now, and I just need to get this off my chest. ​Recently, I drove out of town to grab lunch at a place we don't have locally. While driving back, I had a close call because I was distracted/not paying full attention—something scary that I took responsibility for, apologized for over the phone, and assured my mom wouldn't happen again. ​Instead of treating it like a normal driving mistake that any driver can learn from, my parents completely weaponized it to strip away the rest of my freedom:

The Tracker Mandate: They are demanding that I either install a physical GPS tracker on my own car (and make me pay for it) or download Life360 on my phone so they can track my location 24/7. When I told them I don't need constant monitoring and said no, they threatened that I won't be allowed to drive my car at all—even though the vehicle is legally in my name. They even tried telling me I could face arrest if I drive out of town, which is a complete fabrication.

The "Trust" Trap: When I apologized to my mom and gave her my word, her only response was, "How am I supposed to trust you on that?" Nothing I say or do to take accountability is ever enough. They don't want a solution; they want permanent leverage.

Inventing Fake Quotes & Gaslighting: My dad keeps claiming that I say I "can do everything on my own." I have never said that. But he creates these fake scenarios, puts words in my mouth, and then argues against them to make me look delusional or arrogant. Whenever I call out what's actually happening, he flips it on me and accuses me of "making up scenarios."

Standing up for myself and refusing to put a digital ankle monitor on my own car feels like fighting a wall, but I refuse to pay for my own surveillance.

How do you survive when your parents invent fake narratives about you, reject every apology, and try to turn a simple mistake into total house arrest?

This is basically a full story, I'm also a 22-year-old adult who is autistic and my parents keep saying excuses and lies about me, but every time I'm out doing something they demand to know my location or that I need to go to work.

Given today they threatened to call the cops on me for not coming home, and when I didn't show up to their house I put myself in my room and locked the door, my dad thinks that counting to three isn't going to do something, I mean it worked when I was five but I'm not five anymore, given that they bring up that I can't do nothing when yet I live in a small town and when I brought up the whole weekend thing, they said people needed to work on the weekend and then come home to do chores (I mean unless they don't have a job or have to raise kids), their comments don't make any sense.

If I try to stand up for myself, it's creates a problem with my dad.

Because he'll threaten (which says it's not a threat, because he'll do it, I mean that's a threat) institutionalization again because I said limitations, and then mention limitations there, because I had to listen to them for about half an hour talking about how I'm a problem and then basically say that I can't make all my decisions as well as bring the whole thing about autism, and that I need to stop with an attitude or I'll go back in.

Since today, my grandfather had to lay down and go to sleep because of his sore back from falling into a hole yesterday while we were unloading stuff into a burn pit, and that they demanded to know my location and then threatened the cops on me again.

On our way to work, my dad brings up the whole everyone has to work excuse again and then I say that not everyone can work especially since I bring up veterans and students, he asks me if I'm either of those and say no but before I could continue any further he immediately shuts me down from saying anything else.

I'm at my limit here but yet I can't do anything with being shot down or silenced.

​I need to vent about the constant double standards, toxic behavior, and total lack of accountability in my house. ​First, there is the ongoing issue of me trying to get a job. If I look into work that doesn't involve working directly for them—like doing clean-ups for other people—they immediately shoot it down, making up excuses like claiming those places "won't pay in cash" just to discourage me. ​Then there is the daily environment. My dad constantly calls people "stupid" just because something doesn't work for them or they don't understand it.

He makes racist and homophobic comments, and when I calmly try to explain basic concepts to him (like how the suffix "phobia" doesn't strictly mean fear), he completely refuses to listen or reflect on his own ignorance. ​But the biggest issue right now is my car and my ability to actually leave. ​I am supposed to have this car for my own independence, but apparently, I can't leave.

Why? Because my dad has decided he has to use my new car to get around due to the rising prices of diesel for his own vehicle. He is completely hijacking my transportation.

​To make matters worse, the car has a mechanical issue—whoever rebuilt the transmission before it was bought did it wrong. Instead of actually finding the root of the problem and getting it fixed, my mom just makes excuses. She claims "there's nothing we can do about it" and turns it around on me, saying I don't have the money to fix it.

​So I am stuck with a car that has a bad transmission (and can't reverse and given the new one's engine dies if it goes under a certain speed), which my dad is using for himself anyway, and somehow the entire mess is being made out to be my problem. Whenever a situation requires them to think or reflect on their actions, they just shift the blame and create more problems.

Or the fact that on the last day of therapy before going to another office is that my therapist says that they need to come with me outside of town (because they want to keep me safe, when yet not once did I wreck or get into an accident) or more recently that my dad threatened to take me back to a mental institution because I wasn't listening and that I was getting upset because I didn't listen to what he wanted done and then almost puts his hands on me and I say that he can't put his hands on me.

He argues that he can and I tell him, he can't because he's an adult and I am also one and then threatens to call the police on me because I wouldn't get in his truck, when yet I was going to call the cops on him for almost grabbing me by legs and pulling me off a gooseneck trailer, I tell him that I want to work and I was refusing to go back that crisis center.

But wait, there's more. They say they’re doing this so that I don't become a danger to myself, but not once have I ever threatened myself or done anything hurtful to anyone, and just too add the cherry on top is that they say they do it because they love me.

THIS IS NOT LOVE!

Love is not threatening institutional leverage, or taking away a person's belongings. Love is messy, it's not perfect, and it's not pretending that mental health doesn't exist or pushing someone to their absolute limits until they break.

Has anyone else dealt with this level of escalation, physical threats, and institutional abuse from their parents while trying to escape?

I am 22 years old and currently living with my parents. For a long time, I’ve been dealing with a home environment governed by severe control, gaslighting, and escalating physical intimidation, and I'm struggling to make sense of how to handle it.

​The dynamic is built on a foundation of double standards and constant micromanagement. My dad constantly claims that everyone "has to work" and pushes a rigid, outdated worldview, while simultaneously gatekeeping my life. I want to find a low-stress indoor job, but he blocks me by fabricating claims that I’ll instantly get fired or sent to jail, using fictional "public outbursts" as "proof" even though I haven't had an incident in public in the four years I've been an adult. He berates me for minor scheduling mistakes—treating an honest error like a deliberate act of defiance meant to punish him—and dismisses my social anxiety and modern mental health realities as being "soft" or "snowflakes."

​Worse, the situation has crossed the line into physical aggression and threats:

​Physical Restraint: During arguments (such as over a key dispute or working with metal beams), he has physically grabbed me, thrown me around a room, and pinned me to the ground with his knee pressed into my chest or back, making it difficult to breathe while blocking me from reaching my phone to call for help. Afterward, he completely denies that he used physical force or applied pressure.

​Threats: He has a history of severe threats, including threatening to beat me until I couldn't walk when I was a minor, and screaming that I was "worthless" right to my face while pretending the insult wasn't directed at me.

​Holding Essentials Hostage: Basic needs and personal items—like internet access, car keys, and the care of my cat—are treated as "privileges" that can be revoked at any moment to keep me compliant.

​Whenever he is confronted with these actions, he relies on a mix of revisionist history, claiming he "doesn't remember," or offering hollow apologies that come with an expectation of immediate forgiveness. If I set boundaries or try to point out reality, he shuts down the conversation with commands to "shut up" or dismisses logic as "mumbo jumbo."

​I've been working with a therapist because the stress of constantly having my reality rewritten and living under this level of tension is exhausting. If anyone has dealt with authoritarian parents, DARVO tactics, or navigating an exit strategy while managing social anxiety, I could really use some advice or support.

So I've learned about how people are mad at Coca-Cola because they wouldn't include a Christianic message on a custom can, which given that it's what my sister was talking about.

Which given that I've learned that they're atheist and people are mad that they're against God, which doesn't make sense because atheism doesn't even believe in God (which given that I've lived in the South, my whole life and still drink it) but I wish that they didn't complain about it because when a million dollar company tells you no, you move on, not throw a tantrum over it.

Given that this was today and I was sitting in a restaurant when this happen since I was just trying to enjoy my chicken sandwich but then my sister randomly starts talking about the thing I mentioned earlier. I had to get up and go use the bathroom.

I never talk to my parents about God, not because I don't believe in him, but I feel like it's more that he started to let me down more than once.

Since I've learned that there are millions of Christians who don't act like Christians because they suppose to be loving and caring but yet they'll choose to be homophobic, racist, xenophobic, slam other people's beliefs (Nicolas Bowling and DrWitnesser, anyone?), support rape, incest, and slavery, support Donald Trump, even though his name is all over the Epstein Files.

It's like there's no gray area with God, because it's all meant to be black and white, which is extremely hypocritical.

But I wish people would stop complaining about every little minute detail.

So I'm sure everyone knows that I haven't talked about God to my parents or anyone, especially after the forced baptism and the false prayer that my mom and I made in the Sonic drive-in parking lot about my car.

And a while back, my sister started going to church and we were driving back into town after eating dinner and a random conversation starts about religion and I ask if we could talk about something else, my dad asks why.

I don’t give him a response because of how their god was letting me down more than once, alongside getting stabbed in the back by him, keep in mind that we were going down a road at night as I'm being forced to listen to this whole thing when I wanted to be out of that truck.

I just wanted to share about how God has let me down more than once.

With packs like Mid-Century Modern, Art Deco, Modern Japan, Heart of Korea, Countryside, Mountain Village, Shopping Malls, and Iconic Brutalism, I've been thinking about what other Content Creator Packs could fit naturally into Cities: Skylines.

Here's my wishlist:

Historical Era Packs

Streetcar Era Cities (1910s)

• Streetcar suburbs
• Brick rowhouses
• Early apartment buildings
• Trolley infrastructure
• Historic downtown storefronts

Art Deco Boom (1920s)

• Jazz clubs
• Movie palaces
• Art Deco skyscrapers
• Luxury hotels
• Neon signs

WPA & Survival Cities (1930s)

• Public works projects
• Courthouses
• Rail depots
• Modest housing
• New Deal-inspired infrastructure

War & Suburban Shift (1940s)

• Wartime factories
• Military facilities
• Early suburban developments
• Diners and drive-ins
• Veterans halls

Sprawl & Concrete (1970s)

• Brutalist architecture
• Shopping malls
• Split-level homes
• Gas stations
• Massive freeway infrastructure

Neon Corporate City (1980s)

• Corporate headquarters
• Arcades
• Glass office towers
• Strip malls
• Luxury hotels

Big Box & Tech Suburbs (1990s)

• Office parks
• Big-box retail centers
• Multiplex theaters
• Logistics warehouses
• Expanding suburbs

Modern Global City (2000s)

• International business districts
• Airports
• Modern condos
• Convention centers
• Large mixed-use developments

Smart City & Urban Revival (2010s)

• Transit-oriented neighborhoods
• Eco-friendly buildings
• Bike infrastructure
• Smart technology assets
• Mixed-use zoning

---

Regional Packs

Rust Belt Revival

Inspired by Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Milwaukee.

• Converted factories
• Warehouse lofts
• Historic industrial districts
• Freight terminals
• Revitalized downtowns

Desert Cities

Inspired by Phoenix, Las Vegas, Albuquerque, and Tucson.

• Adobe architecture
• Desert landscaping
• Stucco commercial buildings
• Water-conscious parks
• Southwestern housing

Main Street America

A small-town focused pack.

• Historic storefronts
• Town squares
• Courthouses
• Diners
• Independent businesses

Pacific Northwest

Inspired by Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver.

• Timber architecture
• Eco-friendly developments
• Ferry terminals
• Waterfront districts
• Mountain-adjacent housing

Tropical Paradise

Inspired by Hawaii, the Caribbean, and tropical resort towns.

• Beachfront homes
• Surf shops
• Marinas
• Boardwalks
• Tropical landscaping

European Old Town

A companion to European Suburbia.

• Medieval townhouses
• Historic plazas
• Market squares
• Cathedrals
• Narrow pedestrian streets

---

Infrastructure & District Packs

Port Cities

• Container terminals
• Cargo ports
• Dockside warehouses
• Maritime museums
• Ferry infrastructure

Transit-Oriented Development

• Modern transit hubs
• Mixed-use buildings
• Pedestrian plazas
• Bicycle infrastructure
• Dense urban neighborhoods

National Parks

• Visitor centers
• Campgrounds
• Ranger stations
• Scenic overlooks
• Trail systems

Fairgrounds & Attractions

• Ferris wheels
• Exhibition halls
• Food courts
• Fairgrounds
• Tourism-focused assets

Hollywood & Entertainment

• Film studios
• Sound stages
• Production offices
• Landmark theaters
• Entertainment districts

Neon Nights

• Casinos
• Nightclubs
• Music venues
• Entertainment strips
• Large-scale nightlife assets

---

Personally, I'd love to see Main Street America, Rust Belt Revival, Port Cities, National Parks, and Streetcar Era Cities the most. Those feel like some of the biggest gaps in the current CCP lineup and would add entirely new city-building possibilities.

Which of these would you buy first, and what other CCP themes do you think Cities: Skylines is still missing?

So awhile ago, my dad got a call from his aunt asking him about coming to a reunion and he says that he'll try and make it but I was having doubts about it.

I'm not looking forward to going but this is his family from his mom's side (which keep in mind that she died a year after my sister was born), but I hardly ever know these people from his mother's side other than his grandma, uncle and aunt.

But they're extremely weird and act like perfect all around Christian people, even though I don't like to talk about religion due to recent problems with how much their god didn't answer my prayers.

If I try to convince my parents out of anything they'll lecture me for an hour about almost anything related to family.

I've had it with my dad, he has done nothing but acted aggressive towards me for the past five years! As of yesterday my father has officially gone of the rails.

I sent multiple texts to him last night, that I was no longer calling him Dad. Especially on November 13th of this year. I’m 21 and yet he treats me like a child. Adults do not get to assault someone because they feel disrespected. Adults do not get to threaten someone into obedience. Adults do not get to physically force someone to talk, sit, or hand over an object.

He threw a tantrum in the store and then threatened to leave me at the store

Has anyone else had an experience like this?

I just need to vent about how messed up my experience with learning to drive was because of my parents.

I was forced to get my learner’s permit at 14, even though I wasn’t ready. Every time I practiced, my parents acted like backseat drivers. They used flags that weren’t spaced properly as “obstacles” and kept saying I “killed people”, like… what? White flags aren’t used as barriers for driving tracks. Cones are. And here I am, a 14-year-old trying to learn, while they made everything unnecessarily stressful.

Then came the empty parking lot practice. I did a full 180° turn, and my mom yelled at me for “hitting everyone’s vehicles”, all while she told me to pretend the lot was full of cars. How was I supposed to do that? I was a kid with barely any experience operating a vehicle.

The written test? I failed eight times. I had no proper experience, no guidance at first, and barely got the flashcards until much later. My sister, meanwhile, got her license at 14 like it was nothing. I was stuck studying from lost materials, retaking tests, and waiting months between attempts.

Finally, I passed the written part, but my practical test kept failing because I “didn’t go up to 40” or stopped to turn — normal things a beginner might do. At that point, I was so frustrated I said, “I don’t care about driving anymore!”

I ended up finally getting my license at 19. By then, I had practiced on a highway with minimal traffic over and over, used my grandfather’s car, and dealt with insurance restrictions from my parents. Even then, they treated it like I was magically supposed to be perfect immediately.

It wasn’t just tough parenting. It was a pattern of control, inconsistency, and unfair expectations. They prioritized my sister over me, set impossible standards, and blamed me for things I couldn’t control. Learning to drive should have been about gaining experience safely — not years of unnecessary stress, humiliation, and frustration.

I just… I finally have my license, but the process completely destroyed any confidence I had in myself as a driver at first and made me resent my parents.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? I feel like I shouldn’t be the only one who got treated like this.

This happened because I called my dad an ableist prick after he said he wouldn’t let me get a job. He tried to justify it by claiming that the way I act would get me fired on the first day or land me in jail, even though he has never seen how I actually act in public.

I walked away because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

After that, they came barging in and demanded to know what the issue was. I kept trying to explain what the issue was, but they wouldn’t listen.

I locked the door on my dad because I needed space, but I didn’t realize my mom was still in the room.

I unlocked the door, walked out of the house, and went into the game room in the garage. My mom followed me out there, and I told her to leave me alone, but she refused. I then went back inside, and she bothered me again, twice in a row. Each time, I told her to go away and leave me alone.

So I wrote a long message to my dad that I had just sent but I'm afraid of him seeing it and he's forcing me to go to Kentucky with him because "he needs my help" and "I can't sit around doing nothing" and "that I need to interact with people" which is something he clearly doesn't understand because I'm in public.

I interact with people, people barely talk to me because they're just trying to get by and they're extremely busy half of the time and he also makes an excuse about how when I say that's a you problem or that sounds like a you problem, it's me having an attitude which I'm not because it's something that doesn't concern or involve me so therefore it's a you problem and then today he says that I need to understand that people have schedules like I don't already know that, it's clear to me that he doesn't listen to himself in anything he says and wants to believe in what he wants to believe.

Because of what I had wrote I fear he's going to interpret me as having an attitude, he wants to attack me for nothing that I have done and always wants a say in everything and not allow me to talk because he immediately shuts down a conversation by saying we're not going to talk about it or if you don't want this to escalate, stop. It's honestly sickening how he treats me.

So given that I had my mom take me to one of my therapy sessions and also given that she had to talk with the therapist, even though the one I've been seeing is going out of business and I've decided to do over the phone sessions.

But given that I talk to the therapist alongside my mom and talked about the problems he has but my interprets it as getting better since I think she didn't want me telling the truth about how extremely hypocritical, narcissistic, and perfect he acts is that she doesn't see and says that they're trying to teach me something.

Well maybe they could do that if they used more opened communication instead of raising their voice or telling me to pick up the pace and as well as saying that people at other jobs are going to tell me to move quickly as well but I don't see that.

Which given that my dad wants to interact with people instead of sitting around the house doing nothing and that he wants me to be in public but yet I'm in public every other day, as well as giving me a job that literally has me be all alone or with family members picking up trash at construction sites where I can't interact with anyone else.

But I still think that my mom didn't want to hear all of the things that I said while I was in therapy especially with what happened last week with the generator.

Given how that into an absolute shitshow because of he acted today towards me as we came home from an auction.

He then gets mad at me for not doing something right, as we were trying to put a generator on a shelf and it got stuck as I wasn't doing it right as he kept telling me to go to the end and I did but he just gets angrier towards because I wasn't listening, since I was at the side of it.

He then grabs my hand and tries to put them in a certain position and I yell at him to not touch me and he tells me that maybe I should put my hands in the right position and saying that I was going to get myself hurt and he says that it was going to be on him.

I after I walk away while I was putting up a dolly, I repeated what he said earlier and then I say maybe you'll learn and then on the drive home, my mom was showing me raccoon pictures of raccoon kits and how their legs looked weird and I say that they look like spider monkeys and I tell her they have long limbs.

Then my dad says like a spider and I tell him, I'm not talking to you. He then gets angry at me, I say it's not up for discussion because it was over with but my dad says that it was up for discussion all because I wasn't talking to him.

To make matters worse, I say that I want open communication and he says this is open communication and I tell him yelling is not open communication. I tell him we had great weekend and now he had an attitude just because I did something wrong and then moved on from it because he constantly brings things after the minute they pass.

I ask him why do you continue to pressure me, he says I'm not pressuring you when he clearly was and he gets out of the truck and tells me not to leave but I did anyways.

After I get out, my mom tells me to him that I'm sorry and I say to her that I'll apologize when he acts right. I then get my stuff from mom and she asks if I'm going to apologize to him and I ask her on why she kept pressuring me to apologize when I clearly said that I wasn't apologizing until he acted right.

And all my mom could say was:

>"He was just in a bad mood."

I knew that she has seen him act like this and still makes an excuse about he's getting better at not getting angry at me when mess up especially since they escalate things and result in drastic measures if I even mess up.

I feel like every chance I give, he immediately ruins it and it's the same excuse of getting better and yet I have not seen any improvement on that.

I mean, other than what happened a few days ago, I mean, I kind of yelled at him for what I had said since I had walked, like, given how I said that I absolutely refused to ride a scooter, one of these electric scooters that he has.

Like, given that my car is still out and I had to walk to Walmart and then walked all the way to my house and basically had to request a ride from my sister, and then when I got home, I, apparently my dad was nagging me about something, which was the scooter, and I had said to him, if people were to really ride scooters, they would have been born with wheels on their feet, and realizing that my comment sounded stupid, and he said, so they wouldn't be able to drive cars, and then I immediately take back what I said, and he says, so you're gonna ride the scooter? And I'm like, no. And he says, why don't you wanna ride the scooter?

Are you just gonna walk everywhere? I say, until I get my car back, and he says to me that the gas prices are getting outrageous, and I yell at him that I don't care about the gas prices.

Which given that this came from an accident on the scooter that I don't wanna talk about that involved me wrecking it. It didn't damage the scooter or anything, but it did hurt me. And, well, apparently, apparently he can't see past my aversion to bike, in which I also ask him if they have a three-wheeled scooter or a four-wheeled scooter, because, well, he kept pressuring me about this, and I kept saying, like I care about the scooters.

And then, immediately, instead of letting it go, he just keeps pressuring me and pressuring me. And I absolutely refuse to ride the scooter, but yet he keeps wanting me back on it. I mean, I don't care if it's hard, I'm not getting back on that scooter. The more he tries to convince me, the more I'm gonna push back. I mean, because apparently he can't see my aversions against bikes, because I was never properly taught how to ride one when I was, because the last time I really ever rode a bike, I was 11.

No matter what, I am not getting back on that bike. No matter how hard he tries to push me back on it, I'm just gonna keep telling him no.

And if he says something again, it's that I'm just gonna tell him, like I care. Because I don't care about the stupid scooters. I don't care about the gas prices. I don't care about this stupid war going on in Iran right now.

I want my car back, and I want it back right fucking now.

You know, as an autistic 22-year-old adult, I can make my own decisions. I don't need someone forcing me to get back on a scooter just because of an accident that happened. And I don't care if it's hard. You know, if I was properly taught how to ride a bike when I was 11, none of this shit would have happened!

I should have never agreed to riding that stupid scooter in the first place.

Which not to mention that apparently he says that a scooter having four wheels or having three wheels, he says that it's not really a scooter. Oh my gosh, who cares? I mean, yeah, who cares if it's not a scooter? I mean, a car has four wheels and it's not a scooter. A truck has four wheels and it's not a scooter. A skateboard has four wheels and it's not a scooter.

I mean, I mean, I can think of five things that I could learn in less than a month than ride a scooter.

Number one, diorama building.

Number two, soldering.

Number three, modeling.

Number four, learning how to snowboard.

Number five, learning how to ride a skateboard.

All of those things would be much better if you could learn them in a year rather than riding a, rather than me riding an electric scooter.

Well, even if I try to talk normally to them or just respond with a simple okay or anything like that, apparently they think it's me having an attitude, but yet they agree with it because they think that I keep getting away with it, when yet I'm not trying to get away with anything, nor do I claim that I can't do everything, which is another outlandish excuse that I've heard them make.

Given how today turned into an absolute shitshow because of he acted today towards me as we came home from an auction.

He then gets mad at me for not doing something right, as we were trying to put a generator on a shelf and it got stuck as I wasn't doing it right as he kept telling me to go to the end and I did but he just gets angrier towards because I wasn't listening, since I was at the side of it.

He then grabs my hand and tries to put them in a certain position and I yell at him to not touch me and he tells me that maybe I should put my hands in the right position and saying that I was going to get myself hurt and he says that it was going to be on him.

I after I walk away while I was putting up a dolly, I repeated what he said earlier and then I say maybe you'll learn and then on the drive home, my mom was showing me raccoon pictures of raccoon kits and how their legs looked weird and I say that they look like spider monkeys and I tell her they have long limbs.

Then my dad says like a spider and I tell him, I'm not talking to you. He then gets angry at me, I say it's not up for discussion because it was over with but my dad says that it was up for discussion all because I wasn't talking to him.

To make matters worse, I say that I want open communication and he says this is open communication and I tell him yelling is not open communication. I tell him we had great weekend and now he had an attitude just because I did something wrong and then moved on from it because he constantly brings things after the minute they pass.

I ask him why do you continue to pressure me, he says I'm not pressuring you when he clearly was and he gets out of the truck and tells me not to leave but I did anyways.

After I get out, my mom tells me to him that I'm sorry and I say to her that I'll apologize when he acts right. I then get my stuff from mom and she asks if I'm going to apologize to him and I ask her on why she kept pressuring me to apologize when I clearly said that I wasn't apologizing until he acted right.

Given how today turned into an absolute shitshow because of he acted today towards me as we came home from an auction.

He then gets mad at me for not doing something right, as we were trying to put a generator on a shelf and it got stuck as I wasn't doing it right as he kept telling me to go to the end and I did but he just gets angrier towards because I wasn't listening, since I was at the side of it.

He then grabs my hand and tries to put them in a certain position and I yell at him to not touch me and he tells me that maybe I should put my hands in the right position and saying that I was going to get myself hurt and he says that it was going to be on him.

I after I walk away while I was putting up a dolly, I repeated what he said earlier and then I say maybe you'll learn and then on the drive home, my mom was showing me raccoon pictures of raccoon kits and how their legs looked weird and I say that they look like spider monkeys and I tell her they have long limbs.

Then my dad says like a spider and I tell him, I'm not talking to you. He then gets angry at me, I say it's not up for discussion because it was over with but my dad says that it was up for discussion all because I wasn't talking to him.

To make matters worse, I say that I want open communication and he says this is open communication and I tell him yelling is not open communication. I tell him we had great weekend and now he had an attitude just because I did something wrong and then moved on from it because he constantly brings things after the minute they pass.

I ask him why do you continue to pressure me, he says I'm not pressuring you when he clearly was and he gets out of the truck and tells me not to leave but I did anyways.

After I get out, my mom tells me to him that I'm sorry and I say to her that I'll apologize when he acts right. I then get my stuff from mom and she asks if I'm going to apologize to him and I ask her on why she kept pressuring me to apologize when I clearly said that I wasn't apologizing until he acted right.

Last week started just find until it resulted in my dad being hateful because he said that I needed to wipe my butt good and then results in this whole thing in a camper we bought and that he doesn't think I'm an adult because he thinks that I can't properly clean myself and they wanted me to learn how to clean it properly at 22 and then he says that most 4 years old know how to wipe, that's because they have help something that I never had and then I yell and scream because he was escalating the situation and then I go into the bathroom and yell at him to shut up and he says to my mom that she needs to stop babying me and I in no was acting like a baby, I mean yelling at him yes but it wasn't because I wanted my way it was because I'm tired of him treated me like a child and saying that I'm not an adult.

I said that should go to therapy with me next time and I leave the camper to walk to the creek myself and he thinks I'm not listening because I walk off and say I'm done, I'm leaving and then he says walk with your mother, I say no, he tells me again and I say no.

My mom follows me because she wants me to stop walking and I say no, she tells me several times and I just keep walking away from her, and they think I'm still not listening because I want autonomy but she tells me that they're trying to help me become that which I've seen barely of.

Also I decide to stand my ground by not leaving the creek and then my dad tells me that I can't pay for my own house because he says that I can't do everything (I never claim that I do, I don't know why he says that).

As soon as we come back to the camper, they think I'm still not listening because I tell them that they need to stop resulting in drastic measures and I also explain they won't let me get a job because they won't give me a chance and my dad after showing him a paper on level 1 autism spectrum doesn't understand how different it is now, given how I also wanted open communication with him but he claimed that it wasn't working because I wasn't listening.

And the whole job thing is because he's still choosing to be an ableist prick.

I also tried to get them to listen my side of everything so that they would listen they claim that they do but they clearly don't and I said that I got along just fine without them and that I became independent for three years and they try to argue that point back so I say it again. As for not letting me talk either because I get cut off and my dad says that I already said my piece so that it could get me to shut up.

They also don't want me to be embarrassed but they make the situation worse by saying that I embarrass myself. They'll also resort to drastic measures to get me to listen to them.

He's being ableist because he says I can't get a job because of my outbursts which I have yet to see him uncover because he doesn't have any evidence to back up his claim, and I know how to properly clean myself at 22, since I do it all the time after I get out of the shower.

Only around him and nobody else because I can talk to people who I don't get mad at and he sounds extremely hypocritical for saying that I need to talk to people but yet he gives me a job that literally has me not interacting with anyone other than family members and the reason people don't talk to me or barely talk to me is because they're just trying to get by with their lives, I don't think they'll have time to talk to me. And in the olden tales of 2025, my mom and I had gotten to the doctor.

We go for a checkup every so often but this time...this time was different since I told the doctor everything that there was to know exactly how I was doing but after the doctor stepped out the room, I had said that I felt depressed and my mom asks me why I didn't I tell the doctor and then I say I didn't have it.

Just to hide my own pain and then she says that I needed to be put on an antidepressant because she thinks that I didn't have outbursts and I did a lot better, she's making up this story about how when I was younger and on my meds because of how I've been around my dad, she instantaneously thinks it's an issue when I yell at him or call out his bullshit. My medicine didn't help anything, emotionally maturing did and I guess that they can't see that.

It just pisses me off and how it's destroyed my mental health, left me emotionally drained of anything, and gave me more depression and anxiety. My behavior is not what needed me on medicine that I need that's prescribed to me, I never needed it.

November 13th, 2025 He assaulted me after taking away his tire pressure gauge and told him that he wasn't getting it back after how he acted around me refused to believe that he had in attitude and I said that he can have it back when he stops acting like a whiny little brat. He said to put it back in the truck. He then proceeded to grab me and then tried to break my arm.

Later on in the day, He threatened to knock me out because I wouldn't go sit down and talk with my mother and at a later point he says that my mother needs to keep an eye on me if I wander off. I'm 22, I don't need babysitting.

I’m 22 years old. My sister is 17.

And somehow I’m the one who gets treated like I can’t be trusted to function as an adult. I got my driver’s license. I drove to another city almost every other day.

I never had a traffic incident. I handled myself fine. But instead of acknowledging that, my parents frame it as “dangerous” and “unnecessary.” Because apparently driving to a larger town with traffic is too much for me, despite literal evidence that it’s not.

They say it’s about “keeping me safe.” But here’s the difference between keeping someone safe and controlling them:

Keeping someone safe sounds like: “Be careful.” “Text when you get there.” “Let me know if you need anything.”

Controlling sounds like: “You don’t need to be doing that.” “You shouldn’t be going there.” “You need to stay in town.” Those are not the same thing. And when I point that out? I’m “raising my voice.”

Today it was about chores. Floors. Dirt. Shoes. He asked if I cleaned. I said no. I said the floors were cleaned before.

He tells me I need to clean every Sunday because I’m “attracting dirt.” I show him the bottom of my shoes. They’re not dirty. Somehow that becomes me having an attitude. I ask, “What does it hurt?” He avoids the question. I ask again. Still avoids it. Then later, after we’ve moved on, he brings it up again. I try to say we’re past it. He says no, we’re not. Then he calls my mom and tells her he “can’t get a conversation” out of me. This is what drives me insane. They provoke. They needle. They avoid direct answers. Then when I react, I’m the unstable one. And then comes the nuclear option: “Well, maybe you need to go back to the crisis center.” There it is. The threat. The leverage. Not because I’m a danger. Not because I’ve harmed anyone. But because I won’t comply quietly.

That’s when I exploded. Yes, I swore. Yes, I said “fuck that.” Yes, I told them I won’t apologize. Yes, I said extreme things.

I’m not pretending I handled that perfectly. But here’s what no one seems to understand: When you constantly treat someone like they’re one wrong move away from being institutionalized, that does something to them. It creates this constant feeling of: “You don’t trust me.” “You don’t see me as an adult.” “You think I’m defective.” And then they act confused when I react strongly.

My sister bought a car with their help. Hers works fine. Mine breaks down after sitting in the shop for two weeks. We even prayed over it in a parking lot hoping it was just the power steering pump. Turns out it’s the transmission.

They say they’re “looking for another car” for me. And instead of feeling grateful, I feel trapped. Because every time they provide something major, it feels like another tether. Another reminder that my independence runs through them. I don’t want another car handed to me like a lifeline I’m supposed to be grateful for while still being micromanaged. I want autonomy.

I want to not have to defend driving to another town. I want to not have crisis center threats dangled over my head during arguments.

I want to not be compared silently to my sister. I want to not feel like the “difficult” child because I push back. And the golden child dynamic? It’s subtle but it’s there.

She gets trust. I get monitoring. She gets normal teenage autonomy. I get questioned about my tone. And then when I point that out, I’m “making things up” or “being dramatic.”

The most infuriating part is this: They frame everything as protection. They genuinely believe they’re helping. Which makes it worse.

Because how do you argue with someone who says control is love? I have an outpatient therapist now. A female therapist I see once a week. I’m finally able to talk about this in a setting that isn’t about compliance or short-term stabilization.

And I’ve realized something: The real trigger isn’t chores. It isn’t driving. It isn’t even the car. It’s autonomy.

It’s being 22 and still feeling like I need permission to exist. It’s being told I’m overreacting when I respond to repeated invalidation. It’s having my independence questioned, but my emotional reaction used as proof that I’m not independent.

That loop is maddening. I know I escalated today. But I also know this dynamic didn’t start today. When someone keeps poking and avoiding and circling back and threatening institutional leverage, eventually the lid blows off.

And then guess who looks like the unstable one? I don’t hate them. That’s the complicated part. I don’t even think they wake up plotting to trap me. I think they’re anxious. I think they struggle to let go. I think they see me through an outdated lens.

I think they genuinely believe they’re protecting me. But impact matters more than intention. And the impact is: I feel controlled. I feel compared. I feel scrutinized.

I feel like one argument away from losing autonomy. I don’t want to cut them off. I don’t want chaos. I don’t want to scream every time we disagree.

I want to be treated like an adult. And if I react strongly sometimes, maybe it’s because I’m tired of having to fight for that basic recognition. That’s where I’m at.

Let me repeat that. Twenty. Two. But here’s what no one talks about in families like this: When you are constantly cornered, invalidated, and told your reactions are the problem, eventually you stop trying to be polite about it. My dad tells me I don’t talk to my mom that way.

But he can: Threaten institutionalization. Ignore my direct questions. Frame me as unstable. Recycle minor issues until I react. And when I react? I’m the problem. I’m not going to take it anymore. I mean him constantly saying to me that I can't get a job because I have autism is just pure ableism and controlling.

I’m looking for outside perspective and advice on how to handle low contact with parents after a recent escalation. I had a verbal conflict with my father at work. I raised my voice after repeated criticism, but there was no physical contact, and I chose to walk away specifically to de-escalate. Later, my parents accused me of being aggressive and refused to hear my side of the story.

Things escalated to the point where police were involved. I was told I could either agree to a short mental health evaluation or be taken to a cell.

I agreed to the evaluation.

During it, I was calm, cooperative, and made it clear that I was not a danger to myself or anyone else.

What’s been most troubling isn’t the evaluation itself, but my parents’ behavior around it. This isn’t a one-off incident, there’s been a pattern for years where my father escalates situations, doesn’t let me disengage, and interprets walking away as defiance or “getting out of work.” When I try to explain this, my parents dismiss it as “neither here nor there.” They’ve also used financial leverage to control communication.

I previously received messages threatening to take away my phone, housing, and vehicle if I didn’t answer calls immediately, mocking the idea of boundaries and framing compliance as the only acceptable option.

Because of that, I initially decided to go no contact. After thinking it through, I’ve decided low contact is safer and more realistic right now due to shared logistics and resources.

My plan for low contact is: Limited, delayed responses (text only, no on-demand calls) Logistics-only communication Ending conversations immediately if threats or accusations start No re-litigating the past or defending my mental health I’m not trying to punish anyone or “win” an argument. I’m trying to protect my mental health and reduce escalation while I work toward more independence.

If anyone has experience with: enforcing low contact with controlling parents handling threats tied to money, housing, or communication staying grounded when family refuses to acknowledge your perspective I’d really appreciate hearing what worked (or didn’t) for you. During an argument with my father escalated in a way that left me shaken and scared.

We were loading wheels and tires onto a pallet from an auction. He repeatedly told me to work faster and “pick up the pace.” I said I wasn’t a machine and asked him to stop treating me like one. He responded by saying he was “going to stop treating me like a human being.”

From there, he began threatening to take away transportation and asserting control. When I tried to disengage and leave to de-escalate, he followed me around the warehouse, accused me of escalating the situation, and ordered me back to work.

I eventually walked home. After I got home and was trying to calm down, my mother arrived and accused me of pushing my father.

I told her clearly that I did not push him and that I had tried to de-escalate by leaving. She continued pressing the accusation and would not respect my privacy or requests for space. She then gave me an ultimatum: either I voluntarily go to behavioral health, or my father would call the police and press charges. I am not a danger to myself or anyone else, and I was alone in my room at the time, trying to calm down.

Being threatened with hospitalization or police involvement because I wouldn’t accept a false accusation felt coercive and terrifying. What’s been hardest for me is the pattern: when I try to slow things down or remove myself from conflict, it gets reframed as defiance or instability. Any attempt to set boundaries turns into escalation, threats, or punishment.

I’m writing this to reality-check. I’m not claiming to be perfect in conflicts, but being threatened with police or forced mental health intervention for asserting boundaries feels deeply wrong.

I’m an adult, but my nfather still treats me like a child whenever I show independence. Recently, I drove myself to Jonesboro. I checked the road conditions, drove safely, and got home without incident.

Nothing went wrong. Later, while we were driving together, we passed a familiar area and I casually mentioned seeing geese there the day before. My ndad immediately started interrogating me about whether I had gone to Jonesboro on my own. When I confirmed that I had, his response wasn’t relief or curiosity, it was “you don’t need to be driving, there’s ice on the roads.”

What stood out to me is that this wasn’t about safety. The drive had already happened safely. He didn’t ask how the roads were, what precautions I took, or whether I felt comfortable driving.

The moment he realized I acted independently, he jumped straight to discouraging and invalidating it. This is a pattern: any sign of autonomy gets reframed as recklessness, and “concern” becomes a way to reassert control.

It’s exhausting being treated like I’m incapable of making basic adult decisions, especially when those decisions are already proven safe.

I’m not reckless. I’m not irresponsible. I’m just not submissive and that seems to be the real issue.

Afterward, my nmother also found out about the drive. This happened two hours after it was over, while I was just trying to take a shower and have some personal time. She immediately got involved, treating my safe, adult decision as something to question and control. It’s exhausting.

Even simple moments of autonomy get scrutinized and policed. I have been dealing with years of abusive behavior from my parents. Even as an adult, they refuse to respect my boundaries or autonomy.

Whenever I try to set limits like staying at their house only a few days at a time, asking for space in the mornings, or choosing when to answer calls, they escalate instead of respecting me. My father repeatedly threatens my car, my home, and my independence, claiming I owe him compliance because he “provides” for me. My mother insists I apologize for things I don’t need to, and excuses his behavior because he’s sick or injured. They gaslight me constantly. When I called my dad out on abusive behavior, like threatening me in a store, throwing mud on my shoes, or telling me I’m “worthless”, he denied it or claimed he “didn’t remember.” When I try to walk away to de-escalate, they follow me, repeatedly call my name, and treat silence as “attitude.” I’ve learned that asserting my autonomy only triggers more abuse.

I have autism (Asperger’s Syndrome), and they use it as leverage to control me. My father claims I “can’t handle a normal job” or will fail immediately, despite my ability to manage myself, work, and navigate the world independently.

This is a clear example of ableism, using a disability as justification for control. They also weaponize care.

Being given money, a car, or housing is always conditional. If I assert myself or refuse to comply fully, they threaten to take everything away. Their so-called “help” is coercion disguised as concern. This isn’t concern. This isn’t love. It’s control. They want me dependent on them, and every time I assert autonomy, they punish me. I’m tired of being silenced, punished, and treated like I don’t have a right to exist on my own terms.

I don't know if this is a sign of a narcissistic relationship or if it's abusive, because a while back, my mom forced me onto anti-anxiety medication, which I clearly didn't need, because she's trying to get me back on Voclin, which is an antidepressant, because she thinks that me being off of it is what's causing me to have these outbursts and this relationship with my dad, when yet it's my dad that's the problem, because around 2020, he became kind of abusive, because keep in mind that he threatened to beat me until I couldn't walk.

It wasn't because, and while they took me off of it because I had a much better, they thought I had a much better relationship with him when I was 16 years old, when yet really, it was because I emotionally matured, and yet they, and yet my mom is trying to get me back on them so that I can have a, so that I can try again with my own father, which yet isn't working out because, because from 2020 to 2021, I saw the, I saw his dickish behavior and his abusive behavior at the same time, but it didn't really happen in 2022 to 2023, but when 2024 rolled around, that's when his abusive behavior came back, and he blames all of his problems on me because I'm just...

Just because I'm doing something differently and that makes him think that there's problems when yet I'm doing something much differently, I'm working at my own pace, which he thinks that I need to speed things up because he doesn't think that nobody can work at the pace that he does, when yet he believes that everyone can work at the pace that he does, which is extremely stupid of him to say because one, people are not machines.

Two, people cannot work at the speed of light, not to mention that he says that everyone has to work. That is another lie that I've heard because not everyone can work. I mean, look at people who are in school. Look at people who are veterans. I mean, look at anybody in general who cannot work.

TL;DR: I’m an adult with autism, but my parents treat me like a child, refuse to respect my boundaries, punish me for asserting autonomy, and gaslight me constantly. Threats, ableism, and conditional “care” are used to control me, not support me.

I’ve set a goal for myself: I want to save $300,000 and move to Florida. It’s a lot, but I’ve been breaking it down into smaller milestones so it feels achievable: Saving aggressively from my current income Exploring side income opportunities (freelance, digital projects, small ventures) Planning housing and logistics ahead of time A big part of this is setting boundaries and taking control of my life.

I’ve had to learn the hard way that independence isn’t just about money. It’s about managing my time, energy, and mental health too.

I’m also preparing for the transition to living fully on my own: securing accounts, important documents, and making sure I have a solid support system of friends and professionals I can rely on. It feels overwhelming at times, but I know it’s the path to freedom and stability.

I’m sharing this because maybe someone else is in a similar situation and could benefit from breaking big goals into smaller, actionable steps.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? Any tips for managing the finances, logistics, and mental load of moving out and building your independence? So I also sent a text to my ndad telling him that he needs to start respecting my boundaries and he immediately shuts down any respect for them, as he frames them as crap.

The conversation goes: To make visits smoother, here are the boundaries I’ll be following: I’ll stay for three days at a time.

Phone calls will only be on Sundays.

Mornings will be spent separately.

If a conversation escalates, I will walk away to stay calm. These are my boundaries, and I expect them to be respected. He immediately started being disrespectful by saying

>We will be calling you anytime that we need to speak to you. You will be working any day that you are needed to work. You need to stop this crap, before you make yourself upset and create an issue. You have to understand that you are autistic and you are not able to work a regular job to pay for your bills and rent. So if you want a place to live, food to eat, and a vehicle to drive, there will be nothing changing. I immediately try to defuse the situation by calmly talking to him about my boundaries but it becomes disrespectful once more. I say:

>I understand your perspective. These are my boundaries, and I expect them to be respected. If you call or schedule work outside of these boundaries, I will not engage until the boundary is honored.

Once he starts being rude and disrespectful by saying;

>If you do not answer when we call your phone will be taken, your house will be taken, and your vehicle will be taken. We pay for those things to help you out.

If you want continue with this boundaries crap, you will be homeless and have to find somewhere to live and some way to get money to eat. I am not going to discuss this any further. If I here there word boundaries again or you mention this in any way using another word in place of boundaries you will have your vehicle taken away for two weeks. Stop this crap and work on your book or something else to think about other than this craps (his shitty typing).

It's clear that he doesn't understand that I'm trying to go no contact with him but it's also clear he's afraid of me becoming independent. I'm just going to say it: Fuck. My. Dad.

I tried to call him out on his bullshit about his abuse for five years, about how he gaslit me to death, I called him all the things he is (role model, abuser, manipulator, the man I looked up to), about how he threatened to leave at Home Depot and threw a temper tantrum there and he defuses it by saying that I was getting myself worked up.

2025 has physically drained me of anything that isn't related to my dad who has physically drained me for the past five years now, since this abuse has been happening around 2020.

I've had it with my dad, he has done nothing but abused for me for the past five years! And that day, my father has officially gone of the rails. I sent multiple texts to him last night, that I was no longer calling him Dad. Especially on November 13th of this year. I’m 21 and yet he treats me like a child.

Adults do not get to assault someone because they feel disrespected. Adults do not get to threaten someone into obedience. Adults do not get to physically force someone to talk, sit, or hand over an object. He threw a tantrum in the store and then threatened to leave me at the store. Honestly… it’s exhausting. They start arguments, blow things out of proportion, and then blame me for being “difficult” or “crashing out.” Even when I try to stay calm, they twist reality so I look like the problem.

They say I lost a bet I never lost. They claim my normal, calm behavior in public is a “mask.” My dad tries to control how I spend my own money, even for something as simple as going to a movie.

I even had a mock therapy session with my sister, and even after that, they still dismiss my feelings and act like I’m overreacting.

So a while back, I decided to stay with my family for the last few weeks of this month and I've been getting into some trouble with them, I'm likely trying to stay out of trouble and not crashing out (I made a bet with my sister that neither one of us would get mad, I know very childish), and as of today, I was offered a toothbrush from my sister and my mom said that she would give it to me, if I said yes.

I said that I would take it, she asks me if I want or not, because she expects a straight yes or no answer out of anything.

This whole thing turns into a whole meltdown about how I chose to brush my teeth, how I wanted to brush them because they don't want what my grandfather went through (He's in in 60s and they don't realize that teeth can wither over time). He had his teeth removed earlier this year and I chose to go brush my teeth because they think scaring someone makes them brush their teeth.

I do so and then I show my mom my teeth, she says that they didn't look good and she asks if she wants to do it for me and I said I'm 21, I should know how to brush my teeth and my dad responds "You should know when to brush your teeth everyday." And I say that he should know when to mind his own business and he thinks that I'm crashing out, arguing (because he thinks that when I'm speaking in a normal tone is arguing) is crashing out when it's not.

My sister has had enough at this point and she screams at me and I’m just standing there taking it and she says that she doesn't care if I'm autistic when I'm not saying anything to her or was getting worked up prior to it and she tells me to go home of that she would stay at my house (which I feel is just to spite me).

She was the one crashing out, then my mom comes into my room and tells me that I need to apologize to her. I had said that has been eating away at me for so long. Is that I get blamed for arguing when people start the arguments and I get blamed for it and I ask my mom if she knows what the definition of arguing is and she says that she knows exactly what it is and I tell that she doesn't because it's not when people don't listen, it's when two or more people cannot agree on something.

She passes it off saying whatever I want to call it, that I still need to apologize for it and she asks me what if something happens to her and Dad and we're forced to get along with each other and I say I don't know because I don't and then she says that she knows that siblings don't get along but her and I need at least try to get along. I tell her that if her and I needed to get along, she wouldn't have broke my nose and my mom says that she didn't know any better and that she was really young. I go apologize to her and she expects it and then my mom comes saying that it's a lost cause when I just apologize to my sister. I mean what did you want me to do, apologize to her through song?

I don't think my parents understand to this how arguments work because I keep telling them that they're the ones who are arguing and that I need to let things go and act like they never happened, it's like a person who says that they're being embarrassed when yet they're the ones embarrassed themselves.

P.S; It was also because my sister and I made a deal on sodas that once they were all gone, I needed to restock the fridge with them and she gets an attitude with me for not doing a simple task that her and I could do, it was also because her boyfriend didn't get any when yet her boyfriend literally drinks nothing but sweet tea. This was just me venting about how I'm of my family getting away with it.

2025 fucking sucked and I'm glad I wiped my hands clean of it. Honestly… it’s exhausting. They start arguments, blow things out of proportion, and then blame me for being “difficult” or “crashing out.” Even when I try to stay calm, they twist reality so I look like the problem. I don’t even know how to describe the kind of damage someone can cause when they twist every weakness you have into a weapon. I got put on antidepressants when I was younger, and instead of compassion, the person I was with used it as ammo. They acted like the medication made me “unstable,” “overdramatic,” “too emotional,” or “unable to handle real life.”

They built this whole narrative about me. That I was the problem, that I was “difficult,” that everything wrong in the relationship was because I was “mentally messed up.” Not because of their cruelty. Not because of the things they did. Just me. Always me.

They acted like silence was an attack. If I needed space, if I got overwhelmed and went quiet, suddenly I was “punishing” them. Meanwhile their silence was a tool. They used it to control me. Make me beg. Make me apologize for things I didn’t even do. Make me feel worthless.

And the worst part? They convinced me I should be grateful for them. Like I should thank them for “putting up with” me. Like I was some burden they nobly carried on their back. Look at what they turned me into. Look at the anxiety and fear they dug into me. Look at how I flinch at raised voices or sudden silence.

Look at how small they made me feel. Look at how I learned to apologize just for existing.

And they still have the nerve to act like I ruined everything. They love pretending that the version of me they created, the broken, exhausted, emotionally drained version is who I’ve always been. They refuse to acknowledge the damage they caused. They just point at the aftermath and say, “See? This is who you are. This is why no one else will want you.”

No. This is who they made me. And honestly? If they ever wonder why I couldn’t function the way they wanted, maybe try raising a partner properly with empathy, with support, with kindness instead of tearing them down, belittling them, and then claiming innocence.

I’m sick of being blamed for the wounds someone else inflicted. I’m done carrying their guilt on my shoulders. I’m done being their scapegoat.

I’m finally starting to understand I wasn’t the problem. I was the victim. I just need to vent about how messed up my experience with learning to drive was because of my parents.

I was forced to get my learner’s permit at 14, even though I wasn’t ready. Every time I practiced, my parents acted like backseat drivers. They used flags that weren’t spaced properly as “obstacles” and kept saying I “killed people”, like… what? White flags aren’t used as barriers for driving tracks. Cones are.

And here I am, a 14-year-old trying to learn, while they made everything unnecessarily stressful.

Then came the empty parking lot practice. I did a full 180° turn, and my mom yelled at me for “hitting everyone’s vehicles”, all while she told me to pretend the lot was full of cars.

How was I supposed to do that? I was a kid with barely any experience operating a vehicle.

The written test? I failed eight times. I had no proper experience, no guidance at first, and barely got the flashcards until much later.

My sister, meanwhile, got her license at 14 like it was nothing. I was stuck studying from lost materials, retaking tests, and waiting months between attempts.

Finally, I passed the written part, but my practical test kept failing because I “didn’t go up to 40” or stopped to turn, normal things a beginner might do. At that point, I was so frustrated I said, “I don’t care about driving anymore!”

I ended up finally getting my license at 19. By then, I had practiced on a highway with minimal traffic over and over, used my grandfather’s car, and dealt with insurance restrictions from my parents. Even then, they treated it like I was magically supposed to be perfect immediately.

It wasn’t just tough parenting. It was a pattern of control, inconsistency, and unfair expectations. They prioritized my sister over me, set impossible standards, and blamed me for things I couldn’t control. Learning to drive should have been about gaining experience safely, not years of unnecessary stress, humiliation, and frustration.

I just… I finally have my license, but the process completely destroyed any confidence I had in myself as a driver at first and made me resent my parents.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? I feel like I shouldn’t be the only one who got treated like this. I also wrote a long message to my dad that I had just sent but I'm afraid of him seeing it and he's forcing me to go to Kentucky with him because "he needs my help" and "I can't sit around doing nothing" and "that I need to interact with people" which is something he clearly doesn't understand because I'm in public. I interact with people, people barely talk to me because they're just trying to get by and they're extremely busy half of the time and he also makes an excuse about how when I say that's a you problem or that sounds like a you problem, it's me having an attitude which I'm not because it's something that doesn't concern or involve me so therefore it's a you problem and then today he says that I need to understand that people have schedules like I don't already know that, it's clear to me that he doesn't listen to himself in anything he says and wants to believe in what he wants to believe.

Because of what I had wrote I feared he was going to interpret me as having an attitude, he wants to attack me for nothing that I have done and always wants a say in everything and not allow me to talk because he immediately shuts down a conversation by saying we're not going to talk about it or if you don't want this to escalate, stop. It's honestly sickening how he treats me.

I've gotten into some trouble with them, I'm likely trying to stay out of trouble and not crashing out (I made a bet with my sister that neither one of us would get mad, I know very childish), and as of today, I was offered a toothbrush from my sister and my mom said that she would give it to me, if I said yes. I said that I would take it, she asks me if I want or not, because she expects a straight yes or no answer out of anything. This whole thing turns into a whole meltdown about how I chose to brush my teeth, how I wanted to brush them because they don't want what my grandfather went through (He's in in 60s and they don't realize that teeth can wither over time). He had his teeth removed earlier this year and I chose to go brush my teeth because they think scaring someone makes them brush their teeth.

I do so and then I show my mom my teeth, she says that they didn't look good and she asks if she wants to do it for me and I said I'm 21, I should know how to brush my teeth and my dad responds "You should know when to brush your teeth everyday." And I say that he should know when to mind his own business and he thinks that I'm crashing out, arguing (because he thinks that when I'm speaking in a normal tone is arguing) is crashing out when it's not.

My sister has had enough at this point and she screams at me and I’m just standing there taking it and she says that she doesn't care if I'm autistic when I'm not saying anything to her or was getting worked up prior to it and she tells me to go home of that she would stay at my house (which I feel is just to spite me). She was the one crashing out, then my mom comes into my room and tells me that I need to apologize to her. I had said that has been eating away at me for so long. Is that I get blamed for arguing when people start the arguments and I get blamed for it and I ask my mom if she knows what the definition of arguing is and she says that she knows exactly what it is and I tell that she doesn't because it's not when people don't listen, it's when two or more people cannot agree on something.

She passes it off saying whatever I want to call it, that I still need to apologize for it and she asks me what if something happens to her and Dad and we're forced to get along with each other and I say I don't know because I don't and then she says that she knows that siblings don't get along but her and I need at least try to get along. I tell her that if her and I needed to get along, she wouldn't have broke my nose and my mom says that she didn't know any better and that she was really young. I go apologize to her and she expects it and then my mom comes saying that it's a lost cause when I just apologize to my sister. I mean what did you want me to do, apologize to her through song?

I don't think my parents understand to this how arguments work because I keep telling them that they're the ones who are arguing and that I need to let things go and act like they never happened, it's like a person who says that they're being embarrassed when yet they're the ones embarrassed themselves.

P.S; It was also because my sister and I made a deal on sodas that once they were all gone, I needed to restock the fridge with them and she gets an attitude with me for not doing a simple task that her and I could do, it was also because her boyfriend didn't get any when yet her boyfriend literally drinks nothing but sweet tea. This was just me venting about how I'm of my family getting away with it.

Today started just find until it resulted in my dad being hateful because he said that I needed to wipe my butt good and then results in this whole thing in a camper we bought and that he doesn't think I'm an adult because he thinks that I can't properly clean myself and they wanted me to learn how to clean it properly at 22 and then he says that most 4 years old know how to wipe, that's because they have help something that I never had and then I yell and scream because he was escalating the situation and then I go into the bathroom and yell at him to shut up and he says to my mom that she needs to stop babying me and I in no was acting like a baby, I mean yelling at him yes but it wasn't because I wanted my way it was because I'm tired of him treated me like a child and saying that I'm not an adult.

I said that should go to therapy with me next time and I leave the camper to walk to the creek myself and he thinks I'm not listening because I walk off and say I'm done, I'm leaving and then he says walk with your mother, I say no, he tells me again and I say no.

My mom follows me because she wants me to stop walking and I say no, she tells me several times and I just keep walking away from her, and they think I'm still not listening because I want autonomy but she tells me that they're trying to help me become that which I've seen barely of.

Also I decide to stand my ground by not leaving the creek and then my dad tells me that I can't pay for my own house because he says that I can't do everything (I never claim that I do, I don't know why he says that).

As soon as we come back to the camper, they think I'm still not listening because I tell them that they need to stop resulting in drastic measures and I also explain they won't let me get a job because they won't give me a chance and my dad after showing him a paper on level 1 autism spectrum doesn't understand how different it is now, given how I also wanted open communication with him but he claimed that it wasn't working because I wasn't listening.

And the whole job thing is because he's still choosing to be an ableist prick.

I also tried to get them to listen my side of everything so that they would listen they claim that they do but they clearly don't and I said that I got along just fine without them and that I became independent for three years and they try to argue that point back so I say it again. As for not letting me talk either because I get cut off and my dad says that I already said my piece so that it could get me to shut up.