u/Serious_Bluebird_613

I started a fitness journey in earnest in Oct 2025 and was going on average 4-5 days a week. Mostly weights, not too much cardio and started seeing progress physique and strength-wise. I was also pretty strict about diet, close attention to protein intact, didn't deny myself a treat once in awhile (e.g. a pastry once a week or a half pint on a Friday) but I kept to my calories and macros pretty religiously.

Went on holiday for a destination wedding and ended up taking 2 weeks off weight lifting altogether. I had a lovely time and honestly didn't deny myself anything. I was in Europe and I ate pastry everyday and had a glass of wine sometimes two) every night. I also walked more than 20k steps/day easily and went up and down a lot of stairs. My physique didn't change and I was feeling pretty satisfied that I'd gotten away with my 2 weeks without much impact. But when I got back in the gym yesterday, I was shocked. I went down on all my weights, couldn't finish some sets and was so much more easily fatigued than I expected. And the DOMS the next day were BAD. Yesterday was upper body and today was lower - same problem today except that it was even more fatiguing bc it was lower body day.

I was honestly surprised by how much strength I've lost. I've seen multiple threads where people discuss how having a break has benefited their lifts and some of them took longer breaks than I did. It did make me wonder if breaks impact men differently than women, like if we lose strength more quickly. It was more than a bit discouraging to come back to such a difference, and even though I'm determined to keep going, I'm a bit worried about how long it will take me to get it back to my baseline pre-holiday.

I am an RN of 10yrs with majority of background in medical, cardiology and vascular surgery. I also spent the first 18 months of my career in psych nursing before I decided it wasn't for me. This year I started working as a relief pool nurse in a very large public hospital with a ton of different surgical specialities and inpatient areas.

I haven't found it very difficult to adapt to each ward, I enjoy the variety and since I worked agency/travel contract for years I am very comfortable adapting to new environments and have well rounded skills.

BUT one of the only wards I find impossible to adapt to and dread going to is the neuro unit. I have done stroke care in the past and don't mind it. But this unit has lots of TBI/ABIs and brain bleeds. The issue isn't my assessment level or skills, I'm comfortable with neuro assessments and NGT tube insertions and the ward doesn't make pool nurses take patients with EVDs or lumbar drains. My issue is the safety concerns. The patients are usually male, usually bigger than me and the confusion is like something I've never seen before. It's worse than dementia behaviours, worse than delirium and (to me) worse than even psychosis because at least then we can give antipsychotics and expect some improvement. Sometimes I truly feel like I can see nothing behind their eyes.

The other aspect I find really, really challenging is the families, especially of the younger men. A lot of them have no real idea of how likely the impulsivity and confusion is to be permanent. They come in every day looking hopeful/waiting for changes that in many cases will not come or will not be significant enough to change that person's outcomes.

Because I am pool, I can tolerate it for a shift here or there and fortunately the hospital is big enough that I get sent to other wards a lot. For those nurses who work in neuro can you please tell me what has kept you there? I don't want to write-off an entire ward, I think it will burn me out if I cannot find some aspect of this unit that I can appreciate/enjoy.

I'm an RN with 10 years experience. I work casually at a large hospital which at the moment has no shortage of shifts or OT to pick up and I almost never say no to a shift or OT.

Recently I was working a shift and one of the CNs asked me how much the casual rate is an hour. I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her since the state public hospital wages are easily accessible online.

She and another senior nurse got immediately upset because they realised that as an RN 1.8 my casual wage is higher than the senior CN regular wage.

Later in the shift someone asked the CN to do something and she said "I mean, [my name] can do it, she's getting paid more an hour than me". She said it in a light-hearted tone and I played along as if it was a joke but she mentioned my wage a few more times in the shift and I don't think she was happy about it.

The thing is...a lot of people who feel this way are ignoring the lack of job security, lack of guaranteed hours and loss of other benefits. They cohld also go casual but they don't because to them the loss of those benefits outweighs the extra cash.

I understand their frustration, the main reason I am casual right now is because I'm only 31 and in excellent health and am willing to take the risk in order to maximise my income/investments when I'm younger. When I am her age I will probably also take a pay cut and work regular part-time in a CN role. I don't know how to address it the next time someone asks casual wages now...I'm a bit concerned it will change the way the ward nurses react to me and I genuinely want to get along with them.

The title sums it up, my back hurts and I feel stupid that I still can't get my form right after months of trying 🙃

Do I have to do RDLs? Is there another exercise I can substitute for now that is a bit easier to grasp form-wise? I'm just feeling discouraged at this point and I'm getting so frustrated by the RDLs I feel like I need a break from them

Any suggestions?

31F, single, I've been on probably 6 or 7 dinner dates in the last few months and I've noticed something weird.

3 or 4 times now I've had men ask me to dinner and then claim they "aren't very hungry" and suggest we order a few appetisers or split one main. One date I had a guy as me to dinner and then say "I actually ate before I came, let's just get some onion rings or calamari". I had another guys suggest we split a main and then when it arrived said "I had a huge lunch so you can dig in, I'll just wait for you". Like he didn't know we were coming to dinner ahead of time and also it's a bit weird/uncomfortable eating solo while someone you don't know very well sits there and watches you.

I'm assuming they want to keep the bill low because they assume they're expected to pay, but I don't really care about who pays on a first date and am happy to pay separately. I tried saying this to one of them and was like "I'm happy to split the bill and we can both order whatever we'd like that way" and he got annoyed immediately and told me he is "very old fashioned" and doesn't consider it a date if he isn't paying.

The other thing is that NONE of these dates were my idea, they were all suggested by the guys. Why suggest a dinner date and then eat beforehand? I don't think I can do dinner dates in the early stages anymore, I'm leaving them too hungry 😫

I find it really interesting when people say this as if it's an ultimatum to all the daters out there. A lot of the time people who describe wanting a pretty average partner get told this. As if saying that you want to be with someone who is kind, emotionally mature and a responsible adult is asking for the earth.

It's not a crime to date and HOPE for a good relationship while also being completely okay with being single. It is possible for both things to be true.

"If you don't lower your standards, you're going to end up alone!" - Okay? A partner would be nice but only if it's a GOOD partner, otherwise what's the point? I would much rather end up alone than be with someone who isn't right for me or makes my life less satisfying.

For all the single people out there who can support themselves, don't want kids (or already have their kids) and live fulfilled lives with good friends and/or family...I don't think many people realise the "you'll die alone!" threat doesn't really ring true to us anymore.

And for the record, plenty of people who settled for shitty relationships their whole life still wind up alone in the end anyways - ask any palliative care nurse.

Started back at the gym in earnest in October 2025, at that time I was exercising 4-5 days a week, plus working 50+ h/week at my job as a nurse (on my feet/moving for most of the shift) but I was only eating 1600 calories.

Outcome? Muscles didn't grow, I was getting sick EVERY month and I was so. freaking. tired. All of the time!

Did some research, upped intake to 2000 calories but didn't pay close attention to macros. Stopped getting sick so much but still no visible "gains".

Posted on this thread bemoaning my lack of muscle growth and my ongoing fatigue and got lots of helpful input from everyone here and more than a few suggested I might still be undereating considering my weight/height and how active my job is on top of exercising.

Upped it to 2200 calories, focused on whole foods and paid closer attention to macros (extra carbs before a workout, extra protein after, plenty of water and leafy greens).

In the last 4 weeks not only have I slept better, had more energy, and NOT gotten sick (despite it being flu season in Australia) - I am FINALLY seeing muscle gains!

So a message to all the girls on here who are maybe still subconsciously afraid to increase the calories - you're self-sabotaging and don't even know it! It's such a relief to be eating as much as I should be.

I received an invite for 189 and am completing my application. RN medical

My ANMAC assessment has reviewed all of my work experience and all of my work history falls into the same ANSZCO group or a "closely related" (same first 4 digits) ANZSCO group.

BUT when I submitted my EOI I intentionally marked some of my work experience as not "closely related" to avoid overclaiming points (some of my work was part-time, casual, etc and would not have fulfilled the 20h/week).

Now when I'm applying for 189 the Employment History section asks if each work experience is "related to nominated profession" and then asks if I am claiming for points. Should I change my answer for the work that has been assessed as related by ANMAC and say yes to "closely related" and then no to "claiming points"? or should I just say it's not closely related (even though it is) because I should keep my answers as consistent as possible with my EOI?

Looking to buy my first vehicle since moving to Aus, budget up to $17500. I live in the city but I would like to be able to use the car for weekend camping trips and every several months I would be driving long distances for work trips (upwards of 300km each way).

I have been looking at a Mazda CX-3 for $17000 with about 70000km on it. Only 1 previous owner. Does this seem like a good deal or should I try to negotiate down a bit more? I've also never driven this vehicle before, mostly drove Toyota's in the past so not sure how it drives. I don't need anything fancy just something reliable and good value. I like a mid size vehicle because it's decent for road trips and camping but not a nightmare to park in the city. Thoughts?

My employment dates overlap on my 189 EOI and I mistakenly claimed points for both. If I only claim points for the primary employer and choose not to claim points for the casual employer on the formal application will this be okay as long as it doesn't change my overall points from my EOI?

I am planning on including a letter of explanation stating why I did not include the secondary work for points (it was not full time work).

Registered Nurse (medical) invited June this year for 189.

I started a new job in April but didn't have time to get it included on my ANMAC letter before 189 so I didn't claim points for it.

It won't change my points anyways but the application asks if I'm currently employed in a role relevant to my position. Even though it wasn't included on my ANMAC it absolutely is relevant and I have reference letters, employment letters and payslips to prove this.

My two uestions are:

1. Can I mark this as relevant to the job and include my reference documents as evidence but not claim it for points?

OR

2. Do I list it in my employment history and not claim for points and say it isn't relevant to the nominated position (even though it would be).

31F recently getting back into dating after a pretty long hiatus. I moved to a bigger city, mostly haven't had any choice other than to use dating apps because I don't have many friends here yet.

The dates I have been on have been either downright bad (e.g. the guy turned out to have a girlfriend OR there was the guy who spent the whole date negging me for no apparent reason) or if the date isn't exactly bad there just isn't a lot of connection or much in common.

All of my close friends are in relationships and insist that I just need to try harder. They make it sound easy except when I look at their partners I can't help but wonder if the secret to being a woman in a heterosexual relationship is just to compromise a lot more than you ever wanted to. I can honestly say I don't have a single friend that I envy for their relationship.

Because I am a woman and my friends are mostly women I know a LOT about their partners. And the men they date seem like lessons in humiliation. I have friends with controlling partners, a friend whose husband has a gambling addiction, a friend whose partner is lazy to a fault, another's boyfriend regularly embarrasses her at social outings. And all these women when I complain about the men I've been on dates with will start their next sentence with "Well when I met MY husband/boyfriend..." and then sing the praises of a man who seems to me to be at best neutral and at worst mediocre.

Is the secret to a relationship as a woman finding a man that everyone calls "good" because he has a job, doesn't hit you and does the dishes sometimes? Even if we don't have much in common or don't align morally? I get lonely sometimes, I miss intimacy at times too, but I feel like there might not be hope if all the examples of "good" relationships around me don't actually seem all that good to me...

Tried the hack squat for the first time today and did 3 sets of 8 reps at 50kg. It was tough but I definitely wasn't to failure, but I'm surprised I didn't find it harder which makes me suspicious of my form 🤔 Like maybe it felt too easy because I'm doing something wrong? I was targeting quads so my feet were lower on the platform and I believe I kept my back flat the whole time. I do forget to engage my abs sometimes but I didn't feel like my back was doing the work.

My comparative weights:

Seated leg press I can do 3x 5-6 reps at 75kg

Incline press 3x 6-8 at 90kg, and can do a few reps at 100kg

Is it possible I'm going way too light? I was planning on pushing a bit next time to see if that's the issue but since it's my first time using it I want to make sure I've got form down before I start stacking on the weight.

The title really speaks for itself, I've always preferred to have my own patient assignment without a second nurse. Don't get me wrong, I understand nurses still work as a team overall and I am happy to provide assistance to my co-workers but I personally prefer taking handover on 4-5 patients and just being responsible for them myself. I'm fine with "break buddies" but I don't want a shift partner for my whole assignment. I've worked in many hospitals around the country and always preferred it this way.

Since I've moved back to the city I've done agency in a lot of privates and casual pool in a large public hospital and every ward I've been on seems to do team-nursing. Can anyone recommend any hospitals or wards where each nurse just takes their own assignment?

I am so exhausted by the men in my life who will rant about how "annoying" they find a particular woman in and yet remain silent when the men around them are creepy, harmful or downright dangerous.

Let's start with the myriad of reasons why men like to label women as "annoying" - because in truth a lot of the time it's an overarching term weaponised against any behaviour that makes them the least uncomfortable. Speak to them with emotion? She's shrill. Dress your best for an event but reject their advances? She's attention-seeking. Point out that they've contradicted themselves? Nitpicky. Remind them they promised to do something? Nagging. Hold them or their friends accountable for unsafe behaviour? She's man-hating.

Meanwhile they align themselves with men who spend each and every day ensuring that women live in some varying degree of discomfort. They will befriend themselves with men who openly leer at women in public. I mean, he was only looking. They will have drinks with men who approach a table of women and get angry when they don't want to talk. He was a bit drunk, so what? They will play sports with men who hit on barely legal girls. I mean I don't date that young but hey it's legal right? They will turn a blind eye to the hatred of women disguised (only just barely) under the guise of humour. Relax, Michael always jokes like that. They will even maintain friendships with men who they KNOW are unsafe around women. I mean I wouldn't let him be alone with MY sister, but he's a great poker player!

They act as if it is a worse crime to irritate them than it is for their friends to harrass women. And why wouldn't they? Because when push comes to shove a lot of them actually don't care about a woman's discomfort- they only care about their own discomfort. It is more comfortable for them to turn a blind eye to their friend's bad behaviour, challenging them risks awkwardness or embarrassment which, of course, is far too high a price to pay for a woman's safety.

The other side of this coin is, of course, the underlying knowledge that a man who does not behave badly towards women but still tolerates all of these behaviours in his friends is not actually that good of a man. So many men (and women) will proclaim a man is a "good one" simply because he chooses not to engage in intentional harassment of women. As if his silence towards his friends' actions is not just as damaging.

A woman being "annoying" does not do a man any harm.

A "good" man who silently condones his friends' harmful behaviour towards women is not a good man.

I've been an RN for over 9 years (6 years in Canada, 3+ in Aus). Areas worked were mostly med/surge, cardiology + vascular sx, cardiac step down in Canada. Since coming to Australia I worked as a travel nurse inpatient medical and surgical.

I'm wondering how hard it is in Australia to pivot to a new area, for example PACU. In Canada if you were already hired into an organisation and you had the seniority and interviewed well, you could get hired there and they would train you into it and you could work on getting your formal certification while there. Is it similar in Australia? I've had some people say that without a post-grad or previous experience in an area it's very very hard to pivot to a totally new specialty.

Does anyone have any insights they can share? I'm currently employed in the public system in QLD if that makes any difference.

Lower body split

Does this seem like a good way to split lower body?

Day 1)

Leg press 8-10x3

Single leg press 8-10 x3

Leg extension 8 x3

Bulgarian split squats 6-8 per leg x3-4

Calf raises 15-20 x 4

Day 2)

Squats 6 x3 barbell

Hip thrusts 6-8 x3

RDLs 10 x3

Hamstring curls 8-10 x 3

Abduction/adduction 12-15 x3

Calf raises 15-20 x4

Update: Thank you for all the encouragement and the helpful suggestions! I think I will focus on going to failure and having a more specific exercise plan. I'll also try increasing my calories/protein a bit more and see if it helps. Also thanks to everyone reminding my 8 months is not really very long in the grand scheme of things

I am a 31F, have been going to the gym 3-4 days a week for about 8 months. I lift weights on machines and cables mostly as a beginner and do some exercises with freeweights as well (e.g. bicep curls, Lateral raises shoulder press, squats, weighted lunges). I don't do a ton of cardio as my job is very active so I mostly do 20 min treadmill or stairmaster at the end of my sessions if I have time. I spend about 1h -1.5h each session depending on if I do cardio that day.

I eat about 2000 calories a day, about 90g of protein a day (having trouble eating enough if I'm being honest).

If I flex I can see more definition in my shoulders, biceps and back but overall I'm a bit disappointed I haven't put on more visible muscle at all.

I am 5'5 and have always weighed around 54kg. I think I was maaaaybe a little skinny fat before as I have noticed my waist is a bit slimmer but there really wasn't much there to begin with. I've also noticed I'm very tired. I'm loving my gym sessions but working full time on top of it there is definitely fatigue that I didn't have before.

What am I doing wrong? Do I need to lift heavier? Am I not resting enough? Do I need to increase my calories? Any advice would be appreciated!

Posted originally in r/coastfire but not a lot of Aussie-oriented advice there

31F previously lived in Canada, now relocating to Australia. Been investing pretty aggressively for the last 5 years. Current breakdown of assets:

$130,000 in TFSA (will have to cash this out or move some into my Australian super when I relocate)

$144,000 in RRSP (Canadian retirement account, this I can keep while living in Aus)

$14,000 HYSA

$20,000 emergency fund

$30, 000 in super

Total invested assets: approx $304,000

Currently earning just under 10k/month after taxes.

I'm trying to decide if it's worth it for me to purchase a property in Australia. I am considering using up to $75,000 of my TFSA as a down payment and looking for either a 2 bedroom unit or a townhouse. I don't like the lack of control renting gives me and I hate having to subject myself to inspections. Plus the added anxiety that the owner could always sell the property I'm living in. That being said, I'm already very well set up with over $300k in investments and part of me is worried that taking money out to purchase a property is going to seriously dent my coastfire plans. Just looking to hear what others think?

31F previously lived in Canada, now relocating to Australia. Been investing pretty aggressively for the last 5 years. Current breakdown of assets:

$130,000 in TFSA (will have to cash this out or move some into my Australian super when I relocate)

$144,000 in RRSP

$14,000 HYSA

$20,000 emergency fund

$30, 000 in Australia super retirement account

Total invested assets: approx $304,000

Currently earning just under 10k/month after taxes.

I'm trying to decide if it's worth it for me to purchase a property in Australia. I am considering using up to $75,000 of my TFSA as a down payment and looking for either a 2 bedroom unit or a townhouse. I don't like the lack of control renting gives me and I hate having to subject myself to inspections. Plus the added anxiety that the owner could always sell the property I'm living in. That being said, I'm already very well set up with over $300k in investments and part of me is worried that taking money out to purchase a property is going to seriously dent my coastfi plans. Just looking to hear what others think?