u/Several-Relation-265

Hey guys -buckle up cause there's no TLDR

I recently met a man who's in his mid 30s (36, turning 37 in November) and I'm 25 (turning 26 in September).

Im sure this question gets asked here so often. I was planning on marrying someone around my age, but it does not seem that a lot of men in my age range have initiative. Originally, I loved the idea of marrying someone who wasn't all there yet financially, but we still had so much in common - I loved the idea of us creating a life together and navigating adulthood, but so far the men of my age range in the churches that I go to (I'm an eastern Orthodox catechuman) are pretty directionless and lost in life. They love the idea of having a stay at home wife, but they do not have the drive to actually work towards a future where that's plausible. It's not the lack of money that bothers me, it's the lack of initiative and a hard work ethic.

My most recent ex was 6 months younger than me, and he told me in the beginning of our relationship that he was working towards becoming an electrician. 3 months past, and I discovered he was struggling with drug abuse (weed and alcoholism) and anger issues. He also started slacking off in his consistency with going to church. He even made a "joke" about how it seems like I earn more money than him at my job, and that I weighed more than him. (I was 5'3 and 130 at the time; he is 5'4 and 126. I'm now 123 and still working towards my goal weight of 118.. also, I work in education, so I do NOT make good money to begin with) The final straw for me was discovering that he had an interview/orientation with IEC and skipped out on it.

Anyways, my priest has told me since the moment I started going to church to "go for someone already established" and at first I thought this was shallow advice - he's very traditional himself and lived in a historically Orthodox Christian country for years to study theology. He didn't say the guy had to be necessarily older, but he's seen the tragedy of my love life and was excited to hear that I was talking to an older guy who seems to be financially established - he also told me there would be a strong likely hood that my husband would be older.

I don't mind the age gap too much. The guy is very handsome. But, it does feel kind of slightly weird to be with someone who's already making good money. I feel like a kid kind of, but I would be lying if I said I don't enjoy not having to be the "mother" of the relationship for once. He's also got really really hot hobbies like grilling and riding motorcycles, not just anime and video games which seems to be the norm for my generation.

Mind you, I used to be a new age witch and "gyno sexual" (meaning that I was attracted to women and feminine looking people) with extreme hatred for men and masculinity. I'm wondering if something inside of me is just uncomfortable with being in a dynamic where you're actually with a competent man. Back then, I used to date bisexual men, women, androgynous men because I disdained that relational dynamic, that "power struggle" and struggling with Eve's curse that God warned us about (the desire to rule over our men) I also just wanted to feel safe and in control of the relationship dynamic.

Anyways, is 11 year age gap okay?

Hey guys,

I am trying to keep as much stainless steel, and ceramic dishware around the house as possible to avoid non-stick pans. I plan on making a ceramic muffin pan, I want to glaze the pan though. I just realized that the glaze may contain heavy metals/toxins. Is ceramic dishware safe and/or less toxic than non-stick pans?

Hey guys, I already know I'm going to get down voted out the butt for this post lol.

I'm a 25 year old female. Ex-occultist, ex RADICAL feminist, etc. my journey with Christ has shaped a lot of My current views. I have not always wanted to be a wife - nonetheless a trad wife, but I believe God has softened my heart to this lifestyle.

I struggled for the longest time with finding meaning in my life. I thought that meaning would be granted to me via a career. My dad was a woman hating atheist, so I grew up hating my feminine side and thought motherhood was stupid. I had a child out of wedlock a few years ago. I really wish I had made better choices because I do not get to spend as much time with my son since I am so busy focused on finishing school, working, etc. but every day without him, is a day in hell, and Everytime I have to give him back to his grandparents is an anchor in my heart. I really believe taking care of my son will be the greatest thing I do in my life - and I would love to have some more babies in the future.

The support system that I have with my son is amazing. I couldn't complain. Finances are not as much of a struggle as you would think - since I have financial support from my parents in raising my son.

I currently work in education. The pay is not that great - but I have paid Summers off which has allowed me to spend more time at church, with my son, and meeting new men - all of which have been wonderful so far.

My job does not leave me extremely burned out as many people have painted a job in education to be. But, long term I do not know if this will be a sustainable way to raise my son in case I never get married. I don't know if it's plausible or smart to pick a low paying, low(er) stress career that allows me time to socialize and meet people/men on the preconceived notion that I will get married. I also don't know if it's smart to go for a job with higher earning potential and stress on the preconceived notion that I WON'T get married.

What do you guys think/suggest? Going for the career with higher earning potential because there's no guarantee of marriage, or going for a career with less stress/more flexibility so I can put myself out there to meet potential husbands?

Dae experience this? I noticed it's worse a day after drinking diet soda or something. Ironically enough, my reflux issues got significantly worse after I lost weight.

I miss fall and winter. I'm actually happier in fall and winter - and more motivated. Summer time makes me want to die

I know this is a really stupid question. But please answer anyways lol. I'm a 25 YO female and ex-feminist/witch and single mother. I genuinely never imagined that I would end up on this side of the fence in this lifetime, but I had a genuine experience that lead me to Christ, and naturally, as I follow the church and his teachings, I inevitably dismantled a lot of my radical leftists views over the years. This is a sincere conversion, not brought on by my journey as a single mother at all - because I have the means to take care of myself and my son and an AMAZING support system with my parents that allows me to work, travel, buy him toys, clothes, etc and take him on vacation. I work in education, but do aesthetics on the side. I'm about to start nursing school this year (only 1 year to complete schooling) and I can start doing injectables/Botox for a derm clinic and make even more money than I have no and only show up 3 days a week.

Anyways, a few months ago a man asked me out - he seemed to be genuine about his goals of becoming an electrician and telling me that he wanted me to be a stay at home wife around our third date and I was absolutely sold on this man. Over time, he showed himself to be a clown. He's on probation, smokes weed, has some questionable sexual fantasies that make me believe he might be a little bit homo or bisexual - and he is not proactive at all in his mission of becoming an electrician. He's actually worse than the leftist men I experienced in the past, because he's "red pilled" yet he can't follow any of his conservative beliefs consistently.

I thought I was safe. He asked me out around the time that I had lost 20 pounds, toned my hair from an "unnatural" color to honey blonde/light brown - you know, I really really started putting effort into my looks, so here I'm thinking that I'm finally getting to attract a serious, provider man.

Anyways, just like many single mothers or women that come to this sub, I was raised to be independent as possible, masculine as possible, etc. My mother is upset about my choice to go to nursing school to be able to work 3 days a week to spend the rest of my time with my son instead of focusing on building up my aesthetics business. My dad was a leftist man who hated hated hated women (he also abandoned his sons in a previous marriage) which lead him to dump a lot of masculine ideals onto me - he wanted me to be a corporate girly or engineer and I EXCEEDINGLY failed at everything he imagined I would be. For the longest time, his expectations turned me into a performative person - and super competative as well. I can't be those things because of my spiritual journey, and I have a feeling it is unconsciously attracting dead beats and lazy men in my life who grossly overestimate my "strength"

My priest tells me to find someone who provides. Whenever I come to him about ANY problems in my life, especially pertaining to motherhood, he tells me "it will get better once you find your husband" I can't tell you how many times I almost left the church because he would bring that up. I was still in my feminist mindset of "a man would be a burden on top of the ones I already have" - and I was also triggered by this statement because in all honesty, I've NEVER been cherished like that before. Even my dad told me no one would ever want me. Even my dad would beat me, so how am I to expect a man to value me?

I don't truly ever plan on giving up working, but it still feels "off" knowing I can't seem to attract the kind of man that would take care of me if I wanted that instead. I just want someone who looks at me and falls in love with me for my SOFTNESS - not my strength. I wouldn't even say I'm particularly "strong" in my character - and I don't know why people at CHURCH have this impression of me because I'm CONSTANTLY talking about my neuroticism and anxiety, which to me, shows that I'm not stable - yet people still see my strength and for some reason want to build with me or whatever.

I do believe I have a good work ethic, values, I take my health seriously, I love love love being a mom and want more kids in the future.

It could just be the people I talk to? What I talk about? Who I give the most energy to? I also do unfortunately value attraction and chemistry. I also don't really want to Mary someone too much older than me. I also don't really care if he makes 40k a year or even 300k, I just want someone who WANTS to take care of me. i don't believe that's asking for too much. - there's this bigger/heavier set woman at my church married a smoke show (not necessarily Ryan gossling level, he was just someone who's my type on paper) he had a "metal head" look to him And she was a single mom to 3 kids by 2 different baby daddies. He works as an EMT, and he's new so he's not making LOTS of money, but it's just the fact that she found a man that was willing to take care of her like that that makes me wonder.

Anyways yeah help me. Tips, tricks, countenance counseling, etc.?

For a bit of context - we're Orthodox Christian catechumens - and I'm an Esthetician and nursing school student - he's blue collar.

This is a rant for a separate subreddit honestly - but everyone in my church - especially here in the south - is obviously in that crunchy, conspiracy theorist mentally ill mindset unfortunately. My fiance thinks sunscreen causes cancer. He came home yesterday looking like a hot link (his job is outdoors and he works around a lot of reflective metals in a car wash) and I told him I'd buy him some sun block - to which he replied that I just "buy him some aloe vera gel" - which is okay. I do think that will help him heal his current blisters but he refuses to wear sunscreen - which will prevent any of that blistering from happening in the first place. I tried explaining to him how direct sun exposure was more likely to cause cancer - but he's just your average blue collar dude that thinks the government and medical system are out to get him.

Should I just let him continue to go outside for 6+ hours a day in the raging heat and no sunblock? If there's any other White people who used to think this way, did you eventually break out of it? How?

Following up on my post from 8 hours ago - I just got my period tonight. Thank you guys and sorry for the panic

Hey guys,

My boyfriend came in me during ovulation - we were drunk and he got caught up in the heat of the moment. Anyways and we went to Walgreens and got an emergency contraceptive within an hour of having sex. Reading this sub subdued some of my anxieties but I still want to be sure.

I get my period around the 25th/26th of each month. It's 4 days late right now. I'm also going through Zoloft withdrawals so I know that could also be affecting my cycle.

I got the cramping and uterus bloating around the 24th, wore a pad the past few days anticipating the bleed to no avail.

I did experience minor fluid retention/weight gain and I see puffiness in my face that I usually get before my period too.

Help. Has anyone ever taken this while ovulating?

Hey guys - for a bit of context, I am actually a licensed esthetician, but I do have an associates of applied science. I am also a single mother - unfortunately I have not been able to land a job at a spa for almost 2 years now. Since I need money, I picked up a job at a school as a special education paraprofessional. I am working on building my portfolio for esthetics and have started a super super part-time business giving facials. In the meantime, I need to do future planning for taking care of my son and I need a job that will provide me a consistent source of income and benefits for my baby boy. I want something that will allow me to have a bit of time to spend with him - teaching does not pay well, but I get my Summers off and paid - so I can spend my Summers on vacation with him. Nursing seems to pay well, and if I become a home aide, or work 3 - 12 hour shifts a week, I could potentially have more time with him on the weekdays, but I do tend to get burned out easily and can see myself spending at least 1 or 2 days out of the week rotting in bed for recovery lol.

I only considered nursing for two reasons: 1. because I'm an esthetician, becoming an RN / LVN could be very beneficial to my Aesthetics career - as far as giving injectables. 2. Through my experience as a paraprofessional for special needs kids I learned that I love having a job where I can be a caretaker. I don't consider myself much of a disciplinary, but I can do diaper changes and feeding - I don't get grossed out by spit, poop or urine (vomit is a different story)

I guess I just wanted to hear from some other pink collar women about the best course of action - or experiences in either field. If you could give me a list of pros and cons I appreciate it.

Hey guys here's the 1000th post about this topic on this thread - but I'm thinking of going to nursing school.

I'm losing hope of ever getting hired by a spa - it seems like even landing a FRONT DESK positions mighty difficult. I've been applying since last year with no luck. I work at a school now in SPED. I discovered through my job that I do like taking care of people - I do like medical stuff - so why not look into nursing? I have my associates degree so I can substitute teach while I go to nursing school. I thought about just going into teaching at public school, but I hate public school systems, and the burn out in education is mighty high. It's also so so far removed from what I ACTUALLY want to do ( which is Esthetics) at least this way I can still have a slither of hope of getting hired in a med spa or teaching injectables.

I'm a little disheartened - because esthetics IS my passion but the industry is unstable, it's hard to find a job, and running a business only works when you already have money. I still hold on to delusional hope that I can get a job or some more experience in this industry - but I guess when I have times like these it's best to have a well paying and stable source of income. I'm also a single mom - so I have to think about providing for my son. I'm just going in for my first year to become an LVN.

Hi - I'm a single mom thinking of leaving Orthodoxy. It's conflicting. I'm only a catechumen and I love Christ - but the people of Orthodoxy are just a little coocoo and diluted.

Everyone who's here left for political/social reasons - I am politically independent for the time being - a little more conservative leaning in my values overall but very feminist and a big fan of women's autonomy. I just don't think the church is for me.

I believe the services are amazing - the saints are wonderful. But, since coming to this church, I just don't think my priest or anyone in my parish understands what I actually need. It's a bunch of Trad LARPERs, and orthobros. My priest keeps emphasizing "finding a husband" but he'll get mad when I'm talking to someone outside the church - and I was recently talking to someone who was inquiring and trying to get catechized but my priest still seemed to be a little rude and chauvinistic towards the poor fella. He really wants me to mary an Orthodox man, but there's no men in the church - just a bunch of angry little boys with Mommy issues.

I also have to be real about my ability to tithe - and it's basically non-existent. I am a single mom, who works in education. I live and breathe lint and chump change. I just can't make the commitment the church needs. (My priest has not asked me for tithings he's very understanding of such cases - but I still feel like being in the church and not being able to contribute is just another subconscious feeling and weight of failure for me to carry. )

I'm all ears to anyone who wants to stop me, or tell me if they've been in a similar boat and if they did or didn't overcome.

I still desire a feeling of closeness and protection with God but I'm not sure if this is the place for me.