This is not an Excuse or apology.
Im. A. "J"
Im the telling the other "J" a story
i wonder if its relatable.
For weeks at a time, even months when I was really going hard on the steel reserves and the old English,
Before I cut out liquor all together.
For protracted lengths of time I was as wasted as I could stay, as drunk as long as my money would last, and then stole to keep going.
It was abyssal and it's a goddamn shame that I didn't comprehend looking back at me were largely confused and rightfully hurt people.
They tried.
And I see glimpses of them in my memories different moments for alot of people who had to deal with me .
I can't imagine the heart it took.
I don't remember alot but I remember being
Evil.
That's the part where self medication and substance abuse become a quiet battle
Far better than the bloodied, screaming , confused creature stumbling around.
Do you understand?
The measures I took to minimize and then all but eliminate that part of me.
Y'all couldn't have done anything more at the time.
And y'all did plenty.
Im gonna have a tattoo artist put everyone's names on my neck, face and the tramp stamp area.
It's gonna be real classy