u/Simpleflower999

Hey,

I need actual help with my son bc I have no fkg clue how to go about this anymore.

And if you’re going to comment ‘’ your child needs you to be regulated in order for him to be regulated ‘’ please move tf along bc we are past this point thank you.

I have seen the pediatrist, the psycho educator, therapist for my 9 year old autistic / adhd son with strong avoidant and opposition tendencies. (Pda profile)

I have him with me during the summer and it’s been HARD,

I thought it would get better with school being over but it’s not.

He is constantly mad for absolutely nothing (literally) he has started insulting me when expressing frustration which is all the time and I am starting to really struggle with being insulted all day (i have NO idea where he has found those words from)

He never wants to shower, never wants to brush his teeth, never wants to do anything he has to do.

He is very aggressive, irritated, on edge and just overall seems miserable.

He is sleeping enough, and eating well.

I have SO much guilt seeing him cry and have meltdowns and navigating it all alone and just i’m just so over it bc I know regardless of what I do it’s not going to do anything.

I can’t approach him during meltdowns he just gets worse and throws and hits and insults me.

He isn’t half as bad with my boyfriend when they are alone,

It always worse with me,

I can see he is profoundly disregulated but i seriously don’t have the bandwidth for this anymore, it’s from morning to night,

Yes we do have a routine, yes screen is limited, yes he moves his body we go outside every day we play board games, he reads,

I feel like all the basics are covered and i just feel completely alone and overwhelmed by this bc all the professionals just tell me ‘’ it will pass ‘’.

Can you please give me some input or help me pin point by asking me questions ?

Hey,

I need actual help with my son bc I have no fkg clue how to go about this anymore.

And if you’re going to comment ‘’ your child needs you to be regulated in order for him to be regulated ‘’ please move tf along bc we are past this point thank you.

I have seen the pediatrist, the psycho educator, therapist for my 9 year old autistic / adhd son with strong avoidant and opposition tendencies.

I have him with me during the summer and it’s been HARD,

I thought it would get better with school being over but it’s not.

He is constantly mad for absolutely nothing (literally) he has started insulting me when expressing frustration which is all the time and I am starting to really struggle with being insulted all day (i have NO idea where he has found those words from)

He never wants to shower, never wants to brush his teeth, never wants to do anything he has to do.

He is very aggressive, irritated, on edge and just overall seems miserable.

He is sleeping enough, and eating well.

I have SO much guilt seeing him cry and have meltdowns and navigating it all alone and just i’m just so over it bc I know regardless of what I do it’s not going to do anything.

I can’t approach him during meltdowns he just gets worse and throws and hits and insults me.

He isn’t half as bad with my boyfriend when they are alone,

It always worse with me,

I can see he is profoundly disregulated but i seriously don’t have the bandwidth for this anymore, it’s from morning to night,

Yes we do have a routine, yes screen is limited, yes he moves his body we go outside every day we play board games, he reads,

I feel like all the basics are covered and i just feel completely alone and overwhelmed by this bc all the professionals just tell me ‘’ it will pass ‘’.

Can you please give me some input or help me pin point by asking me questions ?

Hey…i’m a level one autistic white woman.

Recently on online spaces in regards to autism and please correct me nicely if i am out of touch,

But I feel like a lot of MSN and HSN, black and brown creators seem devoted to demonizing a lot of other autism creators,

At first i understood and I even understood and supported their positions,

But the same creators over and over again seem to only be bashing other lsn white creators when they are doing literally nothing wrong?

It’s like they are devoted to misinterpretating them and their words.

I understand opression, racism, disparity, lack of access, all the others challenges…

But i feel like some creators have internalized rage and it’s like their life mission to put them in the wrong.

I live in Quebec and am considering moving into my boyfriend’s home. We previously separated and I had to move out and rebuild financially from scratch.

He earns about $100k/year, owns his home, and has significant assets. I earn about $35k/year, am a single mother to an autistic child, and receive no support from his father.

If I move in, I will lose approximately $900/month in child benefits because our household income will be combined, even though my boyfriend does not pay my son’s expenses.
I am looking for information on legal protections available before moving in together.

Specifically:
Can a cohabitation agreement protect the lower-earning partner in Quebec?
Can an agreement address compensation if one partner loses benefits because of cohabitation?
If we later have a child together and I stay home for a period of time, can financial protections be included in an agreement?
Are there other legal documents I should consider before moving in?

I am not looking for relationship advice, only information about legal and financial protections available in Quebec.

I would love some perspective from women who have been in long-term relationships where there was a significant income difference.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years. We lived together previously, but after a separation last summer I had to move out, find a new place, and essentially start over financially. We are now discussing moving back in together and potentially having a child in the future.

For context:
He earns about $100k/year.
He owns his home and has significant equity in it.
He also owns a hunting camp and land.
He has an 11-year-old child part-time.
I am a single mother to an autistic son who lives with me full-time and receives no support from his father.
I earn about $35k/year.

If I move in with my boyfriend, I will lose approximately $900/month in child benefits because the government will consider his income as part of the household income, even though he does not currently pay for my son’s expenses.

One of my biggest concerns is that if we separated again, I would once again be the person who has to rebuild from scratch while he remains financially secure.

I do not feel comfortable contributing toward a mortgage or house expenses on a property that I have no ownership interest in. At the same time, I want to be fair and realistic about shared living expenses.

We are also discussing the possibility of having a child together in the future. If that happened, I would want to stay home with the baby for a period of time, which would make me financially dependent on him.

My questions are:
How did you handle finances when one partner earned substantially more than the other?
Did you split expenses 50/50, proportionally to income, or another way?
Would you consider it reasonable for the higher-earning partner to offset the loss of benefits caused by moving in together?
What legal protections did you put in place before moving in together?
Did you sign a cohabitation agreement or any other legal agreement?
If you became financially dependent because of children, what protections did you have in place?
I’m genuinely trying to understand what is fair to both people while also protecting myself from ending up in a vulnerable financial position if things don’t work out.

I’m looking for experiences from other autism/ADHD parents because I’m feeling pretty lost right now.
My son is 9 years old and has both ADHD and autism. He had been taking 1 mg of Intuniv for almost a year. The reason we decided to stop it (with his pediatrician’s recommendation) is because over the last 2–3 months, things had been gradually getting worse despite being on the medication.

He started waking up very early every morning (usually around 5:00–5:30 AM), became increasingly emotionally reactive, had more meltdowns, more oppositional behavior, resisted bedtime, and had more difficulty falling asleep. It felt like he was spending more and more time dysregulated and less time able to cope with everyday frustrations.

Because these issues were developing while he was still taking Intuniv, we wondered whether the medication was no longer helping, whether it could somehow be contributing to the sleep issues, or whether something else was going on entirely. His pediatrician suggested stopping it to see what happened.

We stopped it on Monday, and it’s been almost a week. Since stopping, the early waking has not improved at all. He’s still waking up around 5:00–5:30 AM. If anything, his emotional regulation seems worse. The meltdowns are similar to before but more intense, and there’s more crying and emotional distress whereas before it was often more anger and frustration. He seems constantly on the verge of a meltdown, more oppositional, and more dysregulated overall.

Now I’m struggling to figure out what I’m actually seeing:
Is this a temporary adjustment after stopping Intuniv?

Can it take more than a week for some kids to settle after stopping, even at only 1 mg?

Did anyone see a temporary worsening before things
improved?
I’m not looking for medical advice and will be following up with his pediatrician. I’m just hoping to hear from parents who have gone through something similar and what the outcome was for your child.

I’m looking for experiences from other autism/ADHD parents because I’m feeling pretty lost right now.
My son is 9 years old and has both ADHD and autism. He had been taking 1 mg of Intuniv for almost a year. The reason we decided to stop it (with his pediatrician’s recommendation) is because over the last 2–3 months, things had been gradually getting worse despite being on the medication.

He started waking up very early every morning (usually around 5:00–5:30 AM), became increasingly emotionally reactive, had more meltdowns, more oppositional behavior, resisted bedtime, and had more difficulty falling asleep. It felt like he was spending more and more time dysregulated and less time able to cope with everyday frustrations.
Because these issues were developing while he was still taking Intuniv, we wondered whether the medication was no longer helping, whether it could somehow be contributing to the sleep issues, or whether something else was going on entirely. His pediatrician suggested stopping it to see what happened.

We stopped it on Monday, and it’s been almost a week. Since stopping, the early waking has not improved at all. He’s still waking up around 5:00–5:30 AM. If anything, his emotional regulation seems worse. The meltdowns are similar to before but more intense, and there’s more crying and emotional distress whereas before it was often more anger and frustration. He seems constantly on the verge of a meltdown, more oppositional, and more dysregulated overall.

Now I’m struggling to figure out what I’m actually seeing:

Is this a temporary adjustment after stopping Intuniv?
Can it take more than a week for some kids to settle after stopping, even at only 1 mg?

Did anyone see a temporary worsening before things improved?

I’m not looking for medical advice and will be following up with his pediatrician.

I’m just hoping to hear from parents who have gone through something similar and what the outcome was for your child.