u/SlaveKnight20100

i am someone who worries a lot, as many do, and like the many that do, i'm told to not worry about it or not overthink it too much. problem is, so far, across my life, every single big thing i've been really paranoid about has come true and at this point, how am i supposed to treat my instincts like paranoia if it always ends up correct?

there's many examples of this but the main one that's killing me right now is that, while i was with my ex, i was worried that she wasnt actually bisexual but actually just a lesbian because she showed little attraction to me near the end of our relationship.
we've been broken up for a bit of a month now, something that i was also paranoid about even after she reassured me several times for months until the very day it happened, and me like the idiot that i am decided to open twitter (first mistake) and saw one of her posts right at the top of my feed. in that post, she said something along the lines of being disgusted about doing certain things with men but feeling flustered at the thought of doing it with women. so, clearly i was right on that too. i want to clarify as well, i dont care that she's a lesbian, yes it hurts because now i'm left to wonder if she was always just gaslighting herself into thinking she was attracted to me for the two and a half years we were together, but i want her to be happy, i have absolutely no ill will towards her

when i started college, people told me that i'll make friends for life there, that i'll surely find like-minded people since we'll be studying stuff we all like. 3 years and i havent made a single friend, and i fucking tried, but my inability to make friends is another matter entirely. point is, everyone around me assured me i'd be able to make friends, and i was paranoid that maybe nobody would actually be compatible with me even if we're all in the arts program and all have that shared passion, but i was right.

now im gonna start university in january hopefully, and everyone is yet again telling me i'll make friends and find people with similar interests, but again, i feel like that wont happen. and why should i believe the people telling me not to worry about these thoughts when they're always correct?

there's a lot more examples but you get the picture. i dont want to believe it because it feels downright insane but i have a hard time thinking im not cursed or something, my luck is almost an observable phenomenon to the point that everyone around me has become acquainted with it without me even needing to point it out.

im just lonely, and i want friends i can see in real life, i havent left the house for any kind of actual activity in over a year. and yet, i have a feeling that's not gonna change, despite what everyone tells me and all my best efforts. i know i'm 20 and that's young and all, i get that, but so far this pattern hasnt stopped and what's to tell me it never will? maybe it's some kind of self fullfiling prophecy, who tf knows

one-pot spaghetti with frozen vegetables, it was dogshit in case you were wondering

if you have any other memes you'd want me to king in yellow-ify, put them in the comments

im not an actual digital artist at all, i quite suck at drawing, but i liked the concept too much to not bring it to life to the best of my abilities

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19m08M_kdHFRar38HccxGoskNE2rhhvxFQbmqTHGVcds/edit?usp=sharing
I would love to get some feedback on this, personally I quite like how it turned out!