u/Slight_Test3161

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One of my bridesmaids has been one of my closest friends for years.

The problem is that over the last few months, her boyfriend has made several jokes about my wedding being " too expensive" and how my fiancé and I are wasting for "one day". I ignored it because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I didn't want unnecessary drama.
Last weekend we were all together and he started again. This time he joked that he was mostly for the free food and alcohol and said he'd probably leave early because weddings are boring anyway.

I laughed awkwardly at first, but then he kept going and asked how much we were spending. When I refused to tell him, he said something like, " Whatever it is, you'll probably regret it when you could've used that money for something useful."

That one actually hurt.

My fiancé and I have been saving for this ourselves. We haven't asked anyone to pay for our wedding and we've spent months planning something that means a lot to us.

Later, I told my friend privately that I didn't really feel comfortable having him there anymore. I said I still absolutely wanted her there, but I didn't want to spend our wedding day wondering if someone sitting there was secretly mocking everything we had worked.

She got really upset and said I was basically forcing her to choose between being my bridesmaid and her boyfriend. She said his comments were just jokes and that I was taking them personally because I'm stressed about the wedding.

Now she's considering dropping out completely.

That honestly devastated me. I never wanted to lose a close friend over this, and part of me wonder if I should just tolerate him for one day to keep the peace.

But another part of me feels like I've spent months ignoring disrespect just because I didn't want to be seen as difficult bride.

AITA for taking away his invitation ?

TL;DR: My bridesmaid's boyfriend repeatedly mocks our wedding and how much we're spending on it. After he said we'd probably regret wasting the money, I told my friend I no longer felt comfortable having him there. She now says she may drop out of the wedding.

I need a reality check because my husband (31m) and I (30f) clearly have VERY different expectations here.

I’m having surgery on my hand soon, and I assumed my husband would come with me to the hospital. When I brought it up, he basically asked why he would need to come and why he would take a day off work for it.

I was honestly kind of stunned. I asked him, “When your lung collapsed, did you go to the hospital alone?” and he said no, but that was different because his was an emergency.

And like… yes, obviously a collapsed lung is much more serious than hand surgery 😂 I’m not comparing the severity. My point was that I can’t really imagine my spouse having an operation and thinking, “Why would I need to be there?”

For context, I moved from the US to Switzerland to be with him. We got married a year ago after being long distance for about 3 years. My German is still not very good, I don’t have the same support system here that I had back home, and I’m genuinely scared about having surgery in another country where I don’t fully speak the language.

I’m not expecting him to sit next to me during the actual operation or magically make it less scary. I just thought your spouse coming with you to the hospital for surgery was… normal? Especially when you’re scared and don’t speak the local language well.

He seems to genuinely see it as unnecessary for him to miss work because it’s a planned procedure and not an emergency.

So now I’m curious: am I expecting too much here? Do your partners normally come with you when you have outpatient surgery? Would you take the day off work if your spouse was having surgery, even if it wasn’t a major/emergency operation?

P.S. I don't have a car here yet. Am I supposed to take the train for my surgery? To fellow European Redditors, how do you get to your scheduled procedures? 😅

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My wife (38F) and I (41M) have been married for 11 years and have 2 kids (9 & 7). I work full-time and she works part-time while also doing online classes to finish her degree (she dropped out of college after 2 years and wants to finish). She has ADHD and anxiety and, if I'm being honest, sometimes it feels like our entire lives revolve around her symptoms.

Last Friday my wife didn't have to work and decided to go visit her sister who lives in a small town about 45-minutes away. She didn't tell me she was going so I was very surprised when she called me shortly after noon. She was obviously upset when I answered and between sobs I was able to make out that there was an issue with the car. Eventually, she calmed down and told me that she ran out of gas "in the middle of nowhere" and didn't know what to do.

Because she hadn't told me she was visiting her sister, I was very confused and had a lot of questions which only made her more upset. I was getting frustrated too so I finally just asked her what she wanted me to do. She told me she needed me to come help her. I told her I was at work and had meetings in the afternoon that I couldn't skip.

I suggested she call her sister, but she went to work after my wife visited and my wife didn't want to bother her. I suggested she call AAA to come help but she said she didn't know how to do that. I suggested she call an Uber but she was in the middle of nowhere and didn't show any cars available. I suggested she call a friend or someone else that might be able to help and she yelled at me to "Just come fu&$ing help her."

I tried to remain calm and reiterated that I am sorry she's in this position but at this moment I am unable to help her. I told her I had offered numerous suggestions that she could try to help herself but I can't leave work.

She then hung up on me. My first meeting of the afternoon was starting in 5 minutes so I tried calling her back and she didn't answer. I kept trying to text her during my meeting too but she never responded. I tried calling again between my meeting and still no answer. Which I admit pissed me off because even if I was trying to come help at that point I couldn't reach her.

She is the one who picks up our kids from school so I was kind of freaking out at this point because I was completely in the dark about whether I would need to get them or if my wife was OK. So, I called the school and asked them to please let me know if my wife comes to get the kids because I can't reach her. I didn't include any details about why. The school called me back at pick-up time and told me that my wife was there for pickup.

When I got home at the end of the day, my wife refused to talk to me. She gave me the cold shoulder the entire weekend. I apologized for not being able to help multiple times. Finally, this morning she spoke to me but all she said was "I can't count on you anymore."

Did I really mess up that bad? Am I the jerk for this?