u/Southern_Repair_4416

I'm totally fed up with this life why is the world so cruel to me why do I have to suffer from this for long I'm totally fed up with this world that is cruel to me no matter how hard I tried to be a good person is working hard and being a good person really worth it?

Should I end myself so that I won't be a huge burden to my parents and everyone else around me?

The world feels like it's pissing and shitting into my face constantly should I stop living so that the world won't treat me like a trash can or a public toilet to be abused?

I really really hate myself. Is it really my fault that I behave badly and piss everybody around off? Did I deserve to be permanently banned from this sub and get horrible replies from horrible people? I'm completely tired of myself. I think I'm a loser no matter what.

please punish me

Me, 23 (male), working and studying hard, still moving on despite going through the most terrible days in my life. I'm surviving a major car accident that changed me forever, and I'm doing everything I could to stay healthy. But I live in a developing country and the city that I'm living and working in don't have enough clean and safe toilets. I don't consume anything that irritates my bladder like coffee, cigarettes or sugary drinks, and only drink water. I had to hydrate myself frequently to survive the hot summer days while working for hours and because there weren't enough clean toilets around and the existing ones are dirty with the worst unsanitary conditions you can imagine (like trash bins filled with used toilet papers, pads as well as floors and seats filled with stains of piss and unflushed waste), I had to pee in secluded corners, bushes or somewhere discreet. Unfortunately, it seems like most people view taking a piss outdoors with lack of discipline and intoxication (which I DON'T have!) and tell me to use proper facilities like a civilized person. But are the facilities in my city really civilized? I hate using dirty and broken public restrooms because I have a compromised immune system after partial splenectomy. Also, I'm afraid of getting hit by a car again and my parents are always telling me to come home early. I work day and night and need to stay hydrated and healthy. Is pissing outdoors really gross and unacceptable? Should I stay home, wear diapers or dehydrate myself so that I won't have to carry the huge burden of embarrassment alone? I couldn't piss whenever I wanted to. To the people who accuse me of being gross: no, I'm not lazy. I'm not pissing in the streets. I always try to find a truly discreet spot and always try to be mindful of others. Unfortunately, Reddit is a very toxic place and I've taken a break for months, and now I'm coming back to post about this because I'm completely fed up.

Age: 22
Sex:M
Nationality: Mongolia

The story
I wrote this hours ago and no one seems to respond to me. Are there really people seeing my post? This is NOT a low-effort troll post. This is about a real medical situation and no one seems to understand it.

I have strong fear of using public restrooms after car accident and splenectomy. Because many public restrooms in my city are poorly maintained and ventilated. As I’ve already said, they mostly have stains of piss from men who failed to aim correctly. But it feels like I’m being shadowbanned and the post failed to reach the people who were willing to help.

I have strong fear of using dirty and broken public restrooms for #1 most of the time and entirely avoid them for #2. Unfortunately, there were people telling me to just accept it and move on. I can’t. And I won’t. I won’t let these nasty germs invade my body. I’m at a much higher risk of OPSI and sepsis. I’ve already visited the doctor beforehand, took all the necessary medications and vaccinations.

I’m drinking plenty of water (slowly) to keep myself healthy. Because of that, I often have to pee. I work outdoors every day and because of the urgent medical need, I had to find a discreet spot, like a dark corner or bushes. And it really PISSES me off when people make fun of me and make insulting or harmful comments.

Is it really my fault? Did I do something wrong? Have I done something that ruined my life forever? It feels like everyone refuses to listen to me. I’m not bitching or moaning about small things, I’m just looking for a person to listen to me and say it’s not embarrassing or wrong. That’s all I wanted. And nothing else!

Are there real people in this sub? Or are they just bots and trolls?

I need real people to listen to me. Not trolls or bots.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, I always answer back with kindness!

It's been nearly ten hours since I've posted for the first time and I need to let everyone know that it's rude to accuse a male survivor of his past childhood misery. Unfortunately, there are still jokes and memes making fun of people wetting their pants as a result of incontinence.

Life during the pandemic was so hard, especially in the harsh Mongolian winter where temperatures drop tens of degrees below freezing. I remember that sometimes I used to not pee/feeling the urge to pee for hours and sometimes feeling the painful urge to pee and holding it for very long until I found an outhouse to release all the pressure. I think that emergency happened to me twice when I was between 17 and 18. Pre-adulthood days. I was nearly pissing my pants and was desperate for relief. Thankfully, I didn't piss my pants. My undies were spared from the nasty humiliation of wetting.

I think that painful urge was because I used to not care much about hydration. The concentrated urine probably led to the irritation of bladder and PF, leading to the painful urge/burning sensation when peeing. But that's not all! I also remember enduring (when I was 20) the extremely painful, UTI-like experience. Itching in the anus, pissing small drops of blood and extreme physical discomfort that made it almost impossible for me to rest. Thankfully, these painful days have gone away completely and now my pee color is as healthy as it should be (PALE YELLOW) and I'm staying regularly hydrated every day, not consuming excessive alcohol, soft drinks, cigs and vapes.

The painful post-pandemic days were completely gone, but I still need to fight the constant pain of getting humiliated or harassed for addressing an urgent medical necessity in a toilet desert while working outdoors. Many people associate peeing outdoors (even when I'm doing it discreetly and responsibly) with lack of discipline and planning. I'm not being reckless or have lost control entirely. In fact, quite the opposite. I already know where clean, safe toilets are available and where they aren't. When I piss in a secluded, quiet spot, it feels so soothing and less stressful than using the nasty public restrooms that are poorly maintained and ventilated. The body after loss of a very important organ responsible for filtering toxins needs clean air constantly and many public restrooms in enclosed spaces don't provide that.

hi. I'm from Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. One of the coldest capitals in the world. I am an electrical engineering student, part-time worker. I always study/work hard and never done anything wrong that leads to issues. I always stay hydrated and never drank anything that irritates my bladder and PF. I'm not a heavy drinker, only drank one or two beers a week. Never have drank anything sugary like energy drinks. Yet, it feels like everyone is accusing me of having weak pelvic floor and bladder. I remember wetting my pants after holding it for very long after school. I also remember holding my pee during long trips (didn't bother telling others that I really need to go because I was so embarrassed and afraid) and it was really painful. Now, I'm surviving a car accident, without spleen (which makes the immune system much more vulnerable to infections from nasty public restrooms) and I really hate the modern society and the attitude of people who make jokes of such traumatic experiences. One person told me to wear diapers or find a proper facility when they fail to address the root issue (the lack of public restrooms) and are environmentally destructive. The person failed to recognize that I've already planned ahead and hydrated myself carefully. Also, people shamed me for peeing outdoors out of desperation (I always work outdoors) as if I'm being lazy and reckless. Please tell me it's not my fault. Please tell me it's not embarrassing. Thank you, any reply would be greatly appreciated!

I’m still going forward and working hard, despite facing these harsh moments and rude behavior from people in real life and online. I haven’t lost the battle yet! The trolls thought they won by making false accusations against me, but that didn’t prevent me from doing what I think is better for my mental and physical health.

It took a lot of courage and determination to post these previous notes and many people in this sub don’t fully understand this. That’s understandable, considering that the global literacy and knowledge rates are declining and people are becoming more and more narrow minded.

Why is Reddit so toxic? Why it keeps giving me unsolicited, out-of-touch advice when I tell the truth about peeing outside? Why is it so stigmatized and shamed when in reality many men do it after being intoxicated and lost control, not even bothering to find a clean restroom? I’ve said many, many times that I have splenectomy (which is a life-threatening health condition after spleen removal) after an unexpected car accident and it seems like very few people fully understand that. Don’t people realize that many public restrooms in my city are poorly ventilated and heavily used, leading to nasty infection risks, which the very vulnerable immune system couldn’t afford to deal with? Don’t people realize that peeing outdoors while breathing clean air is actually healthier than using a nasty public restroom?

Also, this sub is full of trolls, incels and crooks who made fun of my suffering and were always waiting for the perfect moment (the moment at which my life is the lowest) to bully me. One person accused me of being lazy and told me to “wear diapers” and there are public restrooms very few walks away from me. This is FALSE! How dare you accuse me of being lazy and reckless when you don’t even know how it feels to live in a city with almost nonexistent public restrooms?

The “advice” telling me to wear diapers probably failed to realize that they’re for incontinence patients and aren’t designed to solve the root causes. Also, it’s not environmentally friendly (diapers take hundreds of years to decompose) and I don’t need them. I don’t have a weak bladder. I’m not pissing my pants every day. I’m a well-disciplined, educated person who already knows when and where clean public restrooms are available and where they aren’t. I always stay hydrated as per medical requirements, and won’t accept any advice telling me to drink less or hold it for long.

I don’t drink anything that irritates my bladder like alcohol, soft drinks and coffee. I’m not shamelessly “whipping it out” and pissing into fences and walls while others were walking. No, I always spend an extra effort to find a truly discreet spot and be mindful of others. Many people don’t even understand that using natural materials like dry leaves and straws help absorb the liquid and reduce odors (that led to the nasty piss-stinking alleys and corners) due to their rich carbon content.

Thank you for your patience reading this thread. Hopefully people will understand and begin responding with empathy instead of rudeness!

I’m still going forward and working hard, despite facing these harsh moments and rude behavior from people in real life and online. I haven’t lost the battle yet! The trolls thought they won by making false accusations against me, but that didn’t prevent me from doing what I think is better for my mental and physical health.

It took a lot of courage and determination to post these previous notes and many people in this sub don’t fully understand this. That’s understandable, considering that the global literacy and knowledge rates are declining and people are becoming more and more narrow minded.

Why is Reddit so toxic? Why it keeps giving me unsolicited, out-of-touch advice when I tell the truth about peeing outside? Why is it so stigmatized and shamed when in reality many men do it after being intoxicated and lost control, not even bothering to find a clean restroom? I’ve said many, many times that I have splenectomy (which is a life-threatening health condition after spleen removal) after an unexpected car accident and it seems like very few people fully understand that. Don’t people realize that many public restrooms in my city are poorly ventilated and heavily used, leading to nasty infection risks, which the very vulnerable immune system couldn’t afford to deal with? Don’t people realize that peeing outdoors while breathing clean air is actually healthier than using a nasty public restroom?

Also, this sub is full of trolls, incels and crooks who made fun of my suffering and were always waiting for the perfect moment (the moment at which my life is the lowest) to bully me. One person accused me of being lazy and told me to “wear diapers” and there are public restrooms very few walks away from me. This is FALSE! How dare you accuse me of being lazy and reckless when you don’t even know how it feels to live in a city with almost nonexistent public restrooms?

The “advice” telling me to wear diapers probably failed to realize that they’re for incontinence patients and aren’t designed to solve the root causes. Also, it’s not environmentally friendly (diapers take hundreds of years to decompose) and I don’t need them. I don’t have a weak bladder. I’m not pissing my pants every day. I’m a well-disciplined, educated person who already knows when and where clean public restrooms are available and where they aren’t. I always stay hydrated as per medical requirements, and won’t accept any advice telling me to drink less or hold it for long.

I don’t drink anything that irritates my bladder like alcohol, soft drinks and coffee. I’m not shamelessly “whipping it out” and pissing into fences and walls while others were walking. No, I always spend an extra effort to find a truly discreet spot and be mindful of others. Many people don’t even understand that using natural materials like dry leaves and straws help absorb the liquid and reduce odors (that led to the nasty piss-stinking alleys and corners) due to their rich carbon content.

Thank you for your patience reading this thread. Hopefully people will understand and begin responding with empathy instead of rudeness!

I think I’ve lost everything. No matter how hard I tried to be a good person, bad things keep happening to me and it feels like the life is nothing but bad luck. Today, it’s raining so heavily and I couldn’t go outside. I don’t have money, I owe the bank hundreds of dollars. I feel like I owe everyone everything and it feels like everyone hates me. Even the weather is so upset and angry at me. The society has demanded too much from me and expected me to be flawless all the time. I’ve worked so hard without any bathroom breaks for hours and now I wanted to let all the pressure out in a space I always trust as safe and quiet. I don’t want to hold it. I wanted to let my piss flow like a river in a secluded corner or alley while it’s raining and enjoy the rainy smell. I’ve had splenectomy in the last year and I think it’s not worth risking infection or sensory trauma from using these filthy, broken facilities. Now I wanted to breathe some fresh air while pissing in a secluded corner or an empty, dark alley. I always make sure that I’m staying hydrated to not contribute to the nasty piss-stinking alleyway odor. Unfortunately, many people falsely assume that I’m being lazy and reckless. The world has demanded way too much and now it’s my turn to not answer back.

I’ve been writing everything down the notebook but it seems like it does very little to help me calm down after all these bullying and false accusation incidents that I’ve experienced over the years. It seems like I’ve done something bad enough to justify this kind of bullying and I deserve to be bullied because I’m not doing good enough.
Is it a sign of a delayed response to trauma after experiencing intense bullying, both in real life and online?
Does bullying affect normal bathroom functions? After suffering from the recent online sexual harassment (it happened on January), my body decided to suppress its urge to use the bathroom, and I wasn’t able to pee and poop normally like I used to before. Even after drinking a lot of water and eating plenty of fiber, I couldn’t poop, and the urge comes only when I’m calm. When I hear something harsh that portrays them as disgusting and gross, my body goes into defense mode and I couldn’t feel any urge to go. Only when I find a secluded spot without noises and any sensory triggers like unflushed waste and stains of piss/shit did I manage to get relief. I feel so better in a secluded spot than in a crowded and noisy public restroom.
Also, I wasn’t able to sleep because I’ve been blaming myself for what happened recently. It feels like they’re accusing me of being uncivic and unhygienic when in reality, I’m always taking care of my personal hygiene, I always wash my hands before eating and after relieving myself and working, I take a shower no less than 2-3 times a week and always brush my teeth. I always use natural materials to cover up my waste in a secluded spot to not leave a nuisance for others and always use a proper facility beforehand. Yet, it feels like people are still accusing me of being lazy and reckless when in reality I’m working so hard to be honest and clean.