u/SpaceBetweenNL

I work full-time, but the salary comes out of only worked hours. It's not fixed at all (almost a zero-hours contract). It's 2200 (netto) during average months. During better months, it gets as high as 2500, but twice a year ("The Troubles"), I get only 1600. This drop always deeply p\*sses me. My employer always says that there is not enough work for me, and the government, of course, doesn't care.

Somewhere, I read that even on jobs with unfixed hours, the employer can't do that to you? Is it true? Is there really "a 20% rule" or something like that?

Thanks in advance!

I was born in Russia, and I've spent 20 years there. I'm from Eastern Russia. So, apart from my birth state, I've been only to three others in Eastern Russia and to two states in Western Russia (not Moscow). It's six in total.

What's about you people? How many federal subjects have you been to?

I've already spent many years in the Netherlands, and I visited all major cities and lots of small towns. I've been to every province either for work or for a "dagje uit". However, I've never been to Zeeland. I'm visiting Zeeland only this summer because of the new train discount on weekends.

Am I a complete outsider, or is it common for people not to visit this relatively remote province? Please tell me whether you've been to Zeeland (only if you're Dutch or if you live here permanently).

It's a painful topic for me because my current small job in retail is not so stable (sometimes I get only 2000 per month), and apart from that, I always have plenty of dental issues, and the Dutch health insurance covers only a part of it (my plan has a limit of 500 euros).

I consider studying as a dental assistant (Tandartsassistente MBO-4) to be protected from unemployment and to fix my teeth with a discount.

Any experience with that? Do you have enough hours working on this job? Do you get a discount at your dental clinic as a crew member?

P.S. I speak Dutch on B1 level.

Is there a dental insurance without a coverage limit? I couldn’t find it.

My limit is 500 euros per year. It's bad, and the strongest insurance from De Friesland can cover up to 1000. Last year, my quota for all necessary dental treatments was almost 2000, so I fixed only two biggest issues (500 from the insurance, 500 out-of-pocket). I had to let the rest go. This year, again, I plan to fix only what's really hurting. For the next year, I would've wanted to change my insurance to something like "dental unlimited"

Ik spaar voor de toekomst, en ik hou de helft van alles op de spaarrekening van mijn moeder in mijn geboorteland. Ik probeer niet meer dan 10 000-15 000 euro op mijn Nederlande rekening houden. Mijn moeder zegt dat ik paranoid ben, en dat het onmogelijk is om spaargeld te belasten, en dat ik alles moet nalezen. Klopt dat?

Hey!

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I've been working in the same place for a few years (a physical job). The salary is tolerable, but still below average, even though I work more than 38 hours a week.

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One week ago, I tried to apply for something else to explore my possibilities. On the job interview, the employer asked me to HIDE my nationality and my country of birth, in case I got accepted. Of course, I said no. For clarity, I'm not Dutch, I'm an immigrant (white non-European, born far away from here). I got Dutch citizenship a couple of years ago, so I'm a dual national now, but I'm still who I am.

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The employer asked me more about my citizenship/nationality. I told him that I identify myself by my country of origin only. I also mentioned that my country of origin has birthright citizenship. It's very strong because you get it by the fact that you're born on their territory, so it directly defines who you are. The employer got slightly irritated and mentioned that it's not gonna work.

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Did it fall under the legal meaning of discrimination? I bet there are places where I can report it.

I (29, MtF/MtNB) only partially succeeded in my transition. I've been on HRT for over 8 years, and I did many surgeries. My goal has always been passing as a cis girl. I don't pass because of my height (5'11) and my body shape. Frequent exercises didn't increase my hip size. I get clocked even in fully feminine clothes with makeup. Locals in my current country use an offensive phrase, which can be roughly translated as "A man who feels like a woman" to describe a non-passing trans woman. So, I get called "A man who feels like a woman" multiple times on a daily basis. So, life is not easy.

I always feel like because I don't really pass, I have a right to date straight cis women. It could never work with local lesbians because most of them are trans-exclusive (btw, I got called "A man who feels like a woman" by lesbians, too). Apart from that, I'm kinda not into them. I never met a lesbian girl, who was my taste. I never really liked any of them. In this country, most of them have masculine styles, and I'm only into very feminine and conventionally attractive women. My taste in women is stable (the same as it used to be 10 years ago), and I'm not into men.

I fell in love with straight women three times in this life. The third time happened one year ago, and it's still ongoing. She's a VERY beautiful immigrant girl in her late 20s. Many other immigrant straight girls seem to have some interest in me despite me being transgender. Is it appropriate for me to date them?

I decided to cancel the free trial the same day it started. The AI bot told me that if my subscription was not in the system, it might be on a different email. I checked all three emails I have. None of the accounts had an activated free trial...

I sent them an email. They didn't reply, but I got 1 cent (a fee for the activation of the free trial) back, and I thought the problem was solved. Today (seven days after my multiple cancelation attempts), they stole 25 euros from my bank account...

I just don't understand. What should be done next?

I'm 29M. I never understood people who marry too early, but I never imagined myself being married even later in life. When I fall in love with a girl, I imagine our distant future (when we're 40+) in an apartment as a couple, but not as a married couple. I can't even imagine any kind of wedding ceremony. For me, it seems silly and unnecessary. The funniest, I also can't legally get married because in my current country, the government needs your birth certificate for that. I don't have a birth certificate. I was born in a place I never lived in, and my birth documents were lost. I have only a passport of a country where I grew up (I identify as someone from there) and a passport + a national ID of a country where I live now.

When I fall in love (it happened three times), I always want a serious relationship, but definitely not a marriage. Is it aversive?

I'm 29(M), and not bi. I'm into women only, but I'm trans. I look extremely androgynous due to the medical treatment I had. There was a girl (approximately 2-3 years younger than me) at my work, who's an immigrant just like me. She was bisexual (or she claimed she was), and she immediately started getting "too warm" with me. That girl wasn't my taste at all, and she wasn't even generally attractive. So, I kept ignoring her, but she started embarrassing herself in front of me, like inviting me out, telling me that she'll be ready to go to my place anytime... She even deliberately posted a half-naked photo on her WhatsApp (her work account). I ignored her even more, avoiding eye contact with her as much as possible. She kept talking about sexual stuff in front of me, anyway.

Two of my colleagues kept pushing me towards that girl. They constantly told me to date her to prove that I'm not gay, and they always told me that I have to lower my standards as much as possible. Those people didn't even understand what it's like to have a taste in women. It also turns out that the shift supervisor invited her to our company on purpose since she knew that I was always lovesick because of other girls.

After I rejected that bi girl, she cursed me, called me "gay," and within 2 weeks, she finally disappeared. I don't even understand how her mindset worked. Was it fully inappropriate or just silly?

I'm 29, and I love a girl of my age. Before, I liked only girls who were a bit younger than me, but then, I met HER. She's perfect. I never met anyone as beautiful and as feminine as her.

However, a few months ago, the girl was pressured into marrying a guy from her religious group. We both live in Europe, but we are both from conservative countries, with her country being the most conservative. Her family and friends decided to end her freedom at the age of 29. Apparently, in her community, this age is considered old, and they wanted to force her to get married ASAP. It all happened just a few months ago, I feel really bad because I love her, and I never loved anyone else as much as her. I stayed close to her during the last few months.

Now, a new threat emerged. After that incident with that girl's forced marriage, random people from my social circle (not just religious people) started trying to pressure me into dating or even marrying someone. I'm just 29, but, again, some people think that it's old and that I should start thinking about marriage ASAP. I'm criticized for not dating a few times a week. It looks like a chain reaction.

Of course, 29 is still young, and marriage is just an option, anyway. As a (closeted) atheist, I believe that it's my right to never get married, and again, I don't need anyone else except that girl. To make things worse, people also always try to pressure me into dating girls, who are not my taste. I never liked anyone whom friends, colleagues, or parents wanted me to meet.

Would you run away in this case? Would you like to move as far away as possible? Running away will make it impossible for me to see that girl (who's screwed forever, I guess), but I can't risk having the same faith. It's my biggest fear in life.

I already prepared all my savings to get away, and I terminated all the contracts.