u/SwimPossible127

Looking for some advice from people who’ve been through a de facto property settlement or work in family law.

I’m currently going through a separation in Queensland (no kids) and have already engaged a family lawyer. Lately, I’ve been wondering whether it’s worth paying for a second opinion.

My concern isn’t that my lawyer is incompetent, but I’m not confident they’re doing everything they can to protect my financial interests or achieve the best possible outcome for me.

The circumstances are:
We jointly own a house with a mortgage.

My ex contributed a significantly larger cash deposit toward the purchase, funded from a previous property sale she owned. However I paid half the mortgage for 4 years whilst living there as “rent”. We sold this home to upgrade to our current home.

I find myself questioning whether there are strategies, arguments or negotiation approaches that another lawyer might identify that my current lawyer hasn’t raised.

I’m conscious that even a relatively small difference in the settlement outcome could be worth tens of thousands of dollars, making the cost of a second opinion seem worthwhile if it improves my position.

For those who’ve been through something similar:
Did you get a second legal opinion? Is there any etiquette involved?

Did it provide a different perspective or strategy?
Were there signs your original lawyer wasn’t protecting your interests as well as they could have?
At what point did you decide to stick with your lawyer or change firms?

I simply want to be confident that I’m receiving the best advice available before making decisions that will affect me financially for years to come.
I’d really appreciate hearing others’ experiences.

I am going through a seperation right now. It's early days but I am looking to post to hear some stories or get some reassurance.

We purchased a house together, and we have about 400k of equity in the property.

I essentially contributed the entire deposit (400k ish) (also the stamp duty) when we purchased the place approx 18 months ago.

I am gong to get legal advice, but is the sentiment that defacto is the same as married couples therefore the split would be 50/50 despite such an uneven contribution to the deposit?

I’ve been on hinge for two weeks and I pay for hinge plus.

I’ve had a lot matches but I’m worried now that I’m not getting any.

I’m tempted to delete my account and start again with new photos.

Would there be any other way to get an increase in matches?

Had account for 24 hours and I’ve been removed?

Can someone please help?

I signed up to hinge last night, and I paid for hinge plus.

I’ve been swiping and chatting all day. I have not been abusive nor have I sent any inappropriate content.

The photos and details are all of me.

I suddenly then received this message.

Has anyone had a successful appeal?

I don’t understand what’s happened and it’s very frustrating.

I’ve submitted an appeal already but what else can I do?

My two favourite colognes right now are Tom ford ombré leather along with Louis Vuitton ombré nomade.

They both have a wintry Smokey deep wood smell to them. I hope that makes sense.

Does anyone have any other recommendations along with these scents?

What are people’s experience with getting an independent home valuation right now compared to the online free estimates?

According to those estimation websites my house is worth 1.5, however when I look at the last 3-6 months of houses in my suburb that have sold around 1.4-1.6, there is no way my house is as nice as these. Potentially around the 1.4 mark.

What would be the most accurate way to get a valuation?

Hi all,

Possibly a strange question, but is there any etiquette in the mortgage broker world that I should be aware of?

I'm currently going through a separation and part of the process will involve refinancing our existing home and potentially buying out my ex-partner's share.

The challenge is that the numbers are likely to be quite tight from a serviceability perspective, so I'm considering speaking with 2–3 different brokers to understand what options may be available.

The broker who originally helped us purchase the property has been fantastic. I really value the effort she put in for both my ex-partner and me, so she will be my first call and I'd genuinely prefer to work with her if possible.

My question is: if she's unable to find a lender or structure that works for my situation, is it considered poor form to approach other brokers for a second opinion? Or is that fairly common when dealing with more complex scenarios such as separations, buyouts and refinancing?

Interested to hear from brokers and anyone who has been through a similar situation.

I’ve done the normal trouble shooting steps ie plugged into a charger and removed the battery. Are there any other secrets?

I have posted previously about my personal scenario of whether I purchase a property off of my partner as we go through a seperation, and I want to get a taste of what other peoples budget has them "saving" per year?

I don't know whether I am running a tight line or not but my predicted cash flow has me with 10k left over, and I am not sure whether this is too tight or not.

So, I won't bore everyone with the emotional details.

2 months ago - my life was my dream. Partern, beautiful home, I love my job, fantastic dog, no financial stress.

Now -> Partner declares no longer in love with me, wants to urgently separate, sell the house (in which she contains all the equity due to bringing a large deposit) and now I am uncertain as to what to take.

I am in brisbane, and there is a major part of me that doesn't want to exit the property market.

I would expect to probably get 100k of the house proceeds, in which I would like to turn into a deposit for another property.

I earn about 210k, of which 130k is through PAYG normal salary and the other through business profit sharing model. I also have a 120k investment loan as a result.

ChatGPT estimates my borrowing capacity to be about 900k.

What am I best doing, purchasing a house 45 minute drive from work and live in suburbia, or buy a small 2 bed 2 bath unit in the inner city ring?

OR, should I live with my family in which I could pay no rent, have minimal bills, and just expect to accumulate a higher degree of savings for 12 months. My fear with this, is that I can't save at the rate that the property market climbs.

I Welcome any advice.

So I won’t bore the emotional heart ache but my partner and I own a house and we are in the process of separating.

It’s still early days but I am willing to do my best to buy the house off of her - therefore my questions relate to this concept. I think it will be touch and go within the limits of my borrowing capacity.

1. if I purchase the house and then turn it into a rental, can my borrowing serviceability be considered with this plan in mind despite it not being a rental currently? Online estimates have it at a $900 per week rental which would help my position. In the meantime, I can move back in with my parents and have no rent to pay of my own.

2. what can I be doing asap to help my serviceability? Ie should I begin working extra hours to increase my income on my payslips?

3. is there anything else I should know?

I’ll save the emotional story, but I am in the process of becoming separated from my partner of six years. I am 35, and I feel like this whole scenario is playing on my mind mentally so I want to get broader input.

We will sell the home as we can’t individually afford the mortgage, and I’m likely to recoup 100-200k which is like to use as my deposit for next property.

I don’t want to be out of the property market for long, but I have no idea where I should be looking.

I am located in Brisbane, and I think I prefer a standalone house for the growth element, but I’m not sure if I’d be able to afford any house as a solo. I work in the inner city and I don’t mind a commute, a lot of my social life is around Hamilton and ascot.

In the meantime, I also have the option to live rent free with my father where I’d be able to roughly save 60k a year. I’m stressed that the market raises quicker than this rate.

I have estimated my borrowing capacity would be about 800-1mil depending on the circumstances.

I’m 35, no children, no debt, will have about 200k deposit and earning about 220k.

My preference is not to have to get a house mate to help service the loan at my age.

I think that essentially places me in the townhouse market, but I’m wanting to gain some other insight.

Should I look at getting in asap?

Should I simply live with my dad and save as much as I can for twelve months to get back on my feet?

My post history contains more details, but I (35M) will summarise the situation before asking for help.

- We have been together for six years and own a house together. We also have a dog.
- For the past two years, uncertainty around whether we were aligned on having children has been a recurring issue in our relationship.
- During this time, my partner became increasingly resentful and unhappy, but she never fully communicated the depth of those feelings to me.
- Over time, our relationship began to deteriorate.
- Meanwhile, I was gradually shifting my own mindset toward wanting children.
- She has now told me that she no longer sees a future together and doesn’t believe we are each other’s forever partners.
- We are still living together for now, but we are in the process of separating.
- I went away for the weekend to give her space and one final opportunity to think through this major life decision. She said she would spend the weekend reflecting on things.

- While I’ve been away, I’ve noticed some unusual patterns in her behaviour lately.
- I’ve done some social media digging, and I suspect she may have been spending time with a male from a new friendship group who lives nearby.
- She has become unresponsive over the weekend and hasn’t been checking her phone.
- I think there’s a real possibility she may be using this weekend to spend time with, date, or even sleep with this new guy.

- I can’t control my thoughts at the moment, and I’m devastated.
- I don’t know whether I should confront this when I get home or not.
- if I did, it would be in a polite non accusation al way

I’m in desperate need of some help, can anyone shed some help on how I should manage this?

TL;DR:
My long-term partner and I are separating after years of uncertainty around children and growing resentment in the relationship. While I’ve been away giving her space to think, I’ve become convinced there may be another guy involved. I’m spiralling mentally, devastated, and unsure whether to confront my suspicions or focus only on the relationship itself when I return home.

My post history contains more details, but I (35M) will summarise the situation before asking for help.

- We have been together for six years and own a house together. We also have a dog.
- For the past two years, uncertainty around whether we were aligned on having children has been a recurring issue in our relationship.
- During this time, my partner became increasingly resentful and unhappy, but she never fully communicated the depth of those feelings to me.
- Over time, our relationship began to deteriorate.
- Meanwhile, I was gradually shifting my own mindset toward wanting children.
- She has now told me that she no longer sees a future together and doesn’t believe we are each other’s forever partners.
- We are still living together for now, but we are in the process of separating.
- I went away for the weekend to give her space and one final opportunity to think through this major life decision. She said she would spend the weekend reflecting on things.

- While I’ve been away, I’ve noticed some unusual patterns in her behaviour lately.
- I’ve done some social media digging, and I suspect she may have been spending time with a male from a new friendship group who lives nearby.
- She has become unresponsive over the weekend and hasn’t been checking her phone.
- I think there’s a real possibility she may be using this weekend to spend time with, date, or even sleep with this new guy.

- I can’t control my thoughts at the moment, and I’m devastated.
- I don’t know whether I should confront this when I get home or not.
- if I did, it would be in a polite non accusation al way

I’m in desperate need of some help.

TL;DR:
My long-term partner and I are separating after years of uncertainty around children and growing resentment in the relationship. While I’ve been away giving her space to think, I’ve become convinced there may be another guy involved. I’m spiralling mentally, devastated, and unsure whether to confront my suspicions or focus only on the relationship itself when I return home.

We are still living together.

Through social media I have found the name and date of birth of the guy I think she’s seeing.

How can I go about confirming this?

Do I go through her phone?

How can I get his address?

What else can I do?

I won’t bore you with the emotional details. But my partner and I are separating. We have a house together, which we will sell as we couldn’t afford the mortgage individually.

I’m expecting to sell the house and likely recoup 100-200k which I’d like to use as my next deposit.

I have an income of about 220k. I am not sure what my borrowing capacity would be.

Selfishly for equity growth I’d love a house, but I don’t think I could afford anywhere within 40 minutes of the cbd so I’m happy to look at townhouses.

Can anyone offer Any advice? I’ve lived south all my life but now I’m
Separating I have no attachments apart from I work in the inner city ring.

Preference is the south east Brisbane area but also I’m not against driving if I need to be, providing I’m in a safe area.

Happy for any sort of input whilst I navigate this emotional time.

Mid 30s male and female, both separating. Very amicable.

No children involved.

No real joint finances apart from the
Mortgage account which we transfer into 50/50 each month

She did contribute more to the deposit based
Upon a sale of a previous property. I can’t recall the exact figures and would need to go through the chain of emails from 2 years ago.

Mortgage 900k, we paid 1.3 and now it’s approx 1.5mil.

I’m presuming neither of us can afford the house in our own therefore can’t buy out the other person. So if in the instance we sell it. How do we work out the finances?

Any other advice is welcomed.

We are on talking terms.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years (both mid-30s). Overall we’ve had a reasonably good relationship, but this week she told me she has been unhappy for the last 2 years and can no longer see a future with me.

The main issue seems to be that after 6 years, I never clearly communicated about engagement, marriage, or kids. I did want those things eventually, but I delayed the conversations because I wanted to feel certain before saying it, and probably also avoided it. I now realise my silence likely made her feel insecure, unchosen, and like we weren’t moving forward. The unfortunate thing for me is that

Over the last few months, I have become certain on my stance about wanting a family With her.

She’s also brought up that over the last couple of years we became complacent: less quality time, less affection, less saying “I love you,” less emotional connection. She says she hasn’t felt like herself in the relationship for a while.

Since this came up, I’ve told her clearly that I do want a future with her, marriage, and kids. But I think she sees that as reactive because she’s now considering leaving. She says she needed to hear this a long time ago and may feel it’s too late.

She’s taking space this weekend to think, but my read is she’s leaning toward ending it.

My questions:

1. Is this usually a case of “too little too late,” or do relationships sometimes recover from this kind of delayed wake-up call?

2. If you were in her shoes, what would you need to see to believe change was genuine?

3. If you were in mine, would you give space completely now, or keep trying to communicate?

4. Is there anything I should avoid doing that commonly pushes someone further away?

Looking for honest input, especially from people who’ve been on either side of this dynamic.

My plan is to give her the space she requires whilst remaining positive.

She said until hearing my latest reflections, she was 100 percent out of the relationship. But now learning my stance on the future, it has created an environment that’s hard to think.

TL;DR: Been with my girlfriend 6 years. She says she’s been unhappy for 2–3 years and can’t see a future with me because I never clearly talked about marriage/kids/commitment and we became complacent (less affection, quality time, emotional connection). I’ve now told her I do want a future/family with her, but she thinks it’s reactive because she’s leaving and says it may be too late. She’s taking space this weekend. Is this fixable, or usually too little too late?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years (both mid-30s). Overall we’ve had a reasonably good relationship, but this week she told me she has been unhappy for the last 2 years and can no longer see a future with me.

The main issue seems to be that after 6 years, I never clearly communicated about engagement, marriage, or kids. I did want those things eventually, but I delayed the conversations because I wanted to feel certain before saying it, and probably also avoided it. I now realise my silence likely made her feel insecure, unchosen, and like we weren’t moving forward. The unfortunate thing for me is that

Over the last few months, I have become certain on my stance about wanting a family With her.

She’s also brought up that over the last couple of years we became complacent: less quality time, less affection, less saying “I love you,” less emotional connection. She says she hasn’t felt like herself in the relationship for a while.

Since this came up, I’ve told her clearly that I do want a future with her, marriage, and kids. But I think she sees that as reactive because she’s now considering leaving. She says she needed to hear this a long time ago and may feel it’s too late.

She’s taking space this weekend to think, but my read is she’s leaning toward ending it.

My questions:

1. Is this usually a case of “too little too late,” or do relationships sometimes recover from this kind of delayed wake-up call?

2. If you were in her shoes, what would you need to see to believe change was genuine?

3. If you were in mine, would you give space completely now, or keep trying to communicate?

4. Is there anything I should avoid doing that commonly pushes someone further away?

Looking for honest input, especially from people who’ve been on either side of this dynamic.

My plan is to give her the space she requires whilst remaining positive.

She said until hearing my latest reflections, she was 100 percent out of the relationship. But now learning my stance on the future, it has created an environment that’s hard to think.

TL;DR: Been with my girlfriend 6 years. She says she’s been unhappy for 2–3 years and can’t see a future with me because I never clearly talked about marriage/kids/commitment and we became complacent (less affection, quality time, emotional connection). I’ve now told her I do want a future/family with her, but she thinks it’s reactive because she’s leaving and says it may be too late. She’s taking space this weekend. Is this fixable, or usually too little too late?