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u/TAihatemylawfirm

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▲ 27 r/LawSchool

First day of orientation and im already having imposter syndrome ):

Is this normal?? Or am I just not cut out for this?? We were assigned 2 cases to brief and I had to re read both of them twice and my brief took me like 5 hours each.

Also we watched a trial today at the end of the orientation day (orientation was from 8am-4pm) and my brain did not pick up on the little details of the trial so when we all seperated to go discuss it there wasn’t much value I could add other than a few sentences. I might have just been tired but watching everyone else have discussions and I could only pitch in a few sentences bc I couldn’t rmrmbr the little details ppl were mentioning made me feel like im not cut out for this.

Also I keep thinking about cold calls. I’m so scared to get called on and not know the answer. I have a terrible blushing problem when im embarassed so im scared of not knowing the answer and it being obvious im embarassed? I guess is the best way to describe it.

It’s always been my dream to be an attorney, and I got a decent scholarship at a decent school in my state but now im wondering if I should keep going since the material clearly isn’t quickly clicking for me

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u/TAihatemylawfirm — 7 days ago
▲ 463 r/Advice

UPDATE: my mom is constantly worried my dad and i are having an inappropriate relationship and it has caused distance between my dad and i. what can i do to assure her we are not?

prev post https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/IZvepIIZKO

note before update:

a few of you guys were concerned that my mom was sleeping with my brother. i should have been more clear-- she was only sleeping with him while he was a newborn up until 6. he was afraid of the dark and would not sleep alone and would throw the biggest fit waking everyone in the house up if he woke up and didn't see someone by his side so she was with him until then and then once he was 7 and his friends teased him about still sleeping with mommy he got embarassed and snapped out of it. so she was finally able to sleep in our other room, but not with my dad. her and my dad still dont sleep together, but they will occasionally host family "sleepover" nights where my brother (who is 10 now), mom, and dad will all sleep together in dad's bed downstairs, since he has the king sized bed (used to be for him AND my mom). so no, my brother and mom dont sleep together anymore. brother has never shown any signs of SA and i don't think my mom would ever do that to be honest, she made sure i knew "places i should never allow anyone to touch, not even family members" growing up, and would frequently remind me and check in on me about it during my early teen years. she did the same with my brother when he was in elementary, and is so vigilent on that stuff he is not even allowed sleepovers with friends, being alone with adult family members, or even showering at other peoples place. he is not even allowed showering at mine and my fiance's apartment and he knows that (i think its weird she doesn't trust him showering at my place, but i mention that to show that even though i am NOT A SEXUAL PREDATOR NOR IS MY FIANCE, he is not allowed showering at our place, so for those saying it is probably because my dad is secretly a sexual predator and that must be why she feels that way, that is not necessarily the case!).

now for the updates on questions i asked my mom:

I asked my mom why her and my dad don't sleep together: she says they just sleep better separately. cool, ok, didnt even care too much about this but i was always slightly curious and figured it was an easy question to start off with.

i asked why growing up she had an issue with me wearing my old pajamas when hers were basically the same: she said she wanted to protect me and "wanted to prevent things from happening". i pressed her on what things shes talking about and she would only say "in life you never know and it is just better to be safe than sorry." i asked safe than sorry about what, and she said she would see a lot of stories about fathers sexually abusing their kids, and didn't want any possibility of that happening to me or my brother, so she was just over protective with us. and as for the pajama stuff, her take on that was its ok if he feels some way about her because she is his wife, but it would be fucked up for him to feel that way about me since im his daughter, and she wanted to prevent that from happening too. i said to her "but he wouldnt feel that way, thats what im trying to say" and she basically said theres no way to know exactly whats going on in other peoples head, and i wouldn't know that. so like yea. not sure what else i could say to that.

i asked why she was so paranoid about that kind of stuff, if dad is not dangerous, and she said its the stuff she sees in life and the stuff people she knows has experienced. she sees a lot of it and in her mind CSA is the "worst crime possible" and said she would kill anyone who would harm her children like that, and was terrified of ever being put in that position with my dad, similar to a lot of stories she sees, so she did everything possible to close off any chance of that ever happening. also asked if she was SA'd and she said in the tiny village she grew up in back in her country back in the 1970s nobody would ever do stuff like that, not even think of doing stuff like that, and "nothing like that ever happened to her, but here in the U.S. she hears about it a lot nowadays and has met a lot of people who have been abused by their family members and she just wants to be careful."

i told her i still don't think its right to act this way because it drives a wedge in my brother and i's relationship with my father, and she just denied that theres a wedge between my brother and my dad's relationship, she just doesn't allow them to be alone for too long, but they are allowed to go out and play sports together, swim together, go out in public areas together. she just does not allow him to be in situations where he is alone with my brother for "too long". for ex he was not ever allowed to help my brother get ready for bed or anything, only she is allowed to do that. he was not ever allowed to bathe my brother or me, only she was allowed to do that.

i countered and said it actually does drive a wedge, because now things are awkward with my dad and probably will forever be. she crashed out on us for assembling furnature alone, and now hes afraid to even take a meal from me or go in my apartment without a man present. she just said she didn't crash out and simply asked why my fiance was there. this was NOT what happened, she did not just "simply ask". she denied a crashout ever taking place, and said she was just asking. also said she never told my dad to facetime her when he came to my apartment after that, and also never told him he couldn't go up, and that was just "his own doing".

i asked why dad suddenly stopped wanting lunches from me and she said he just doesnt eat meat, and throws most of that food i packed for him out and she just didn't wnt me to waste my time. I HAVE LITERALLY SEEN MY DAD EAT MEAT BEFORE. HE USED TO EAT MY BEEF STEW!!! HE ASKED FOR MY BEEF STEW!!!!!

the most hurtful thing about this is i spoke to my dad after and he just told me he doesn't like eating meat anymore so he didn't want me to waste my time, and i should be investing that time in my studies (ab to go to grad school), and plus mom always packs him lunch so he doesn't need my beef stew anymore. BUT MY QUESTION WAS WHY DID YOU WANT IT AND THEN MOM TELLS ME U THROW IT AWAY DID YOU REALLY THROW IT AWAY?? and his answer on the phone to me was no i ate it, but just didn't finish it. THEN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP ASKING FOR MORE?? well i would eat it but i just wouldn't finish it. ok then?? so i guess basically he just doesn't want beef stew anymore. what kind of answer was that though bro??? whatever, thats okay, no more beef stew, got it. i asked why he refuses to go up to my apartment when hes alone now and he just says hes tired after work so just wants to stay in the car, and that time he facetimed my mom it was because they were already facetiming so it was just a coincidence. i asked why he didn't say anything to defend us when she exploded on us for assembling furnature alone in my apartment and he just said he did but "you know how your mother is, shes just paranoid, she watches too many crime shows, she just loves you too much, its not worth arguing with her"

so bascially in conclusion i didn't get answers. my dad and i stopped being close after all this happened a while ago, but its not like we hate each other. my mom will occasionally bring stuff for me and give it to him to get to me, but its agreed between the two of them i have to go to his job and pick it up, not him bringing it up to my apt. if he needs to stop by my apartment for any reason (for ex to help me with something when my fiance is out of town or pick my little brother up because sometimes he'll stay over for a few hours) he will dirve home, wait for my mom to get home, and they both go together, even though they live an hour away and he works 5 minutes away from my apt.

i dont know. i feel like i got something out of the convo with my parents but at the same time didn't really get resolution to anything. not sure how to exactly explain it. it feels unresolved in a way. a lot of commenters suggest my mom is jealous of me. other than this weird situation, both of my parents have been "good parents" to me i feel like, idk. i grew up with clean clothes, a roof over my head, food on the table. college paid for, car paid for. mom made sure i always had clean shoes and looked my best, she would touch up my roots for me and encouraged me to dress up nicely but modestly. she would buy me nice bras and dresses, and bragged about how smart i was and how pretty i was to her friends and our family. i mention all of this because to me that doesn't seem like a mother who is jealous or in competition of her daughter. a mother who is jealous of her daughter would try to dim her light, but my mother has never done anything close to that in my opinion, and has done a lot on her part to help advance my education quality of life, which i wont go into bc its not extremely relevant here. but point is, i have never once felt like i fell short in comparison to her or anyone growing up. a jealous mother in my eyes would always want to be better than her daughter, but my mom has always wanted me to have better than her and do better than her.

i genuinely think my mom is just extremely paranoid, and i really just wanted to figure out how to address this so i could mend my relationship with my dad, but unfortunately it seems like her mindset has been severely warped by stuff she sees online and stories she hears, and my dad is just keeping the peace, even if it means changing our relationship dynamic. therapy is not an option, i come from an immigrant family where therapy is seen as bullshit and "if we're paying someone to just talk to us why can't we just talk to each other for free". mom doesn't think its necessary and dad says so too but i think he is just going along with whatever. and honestly im not fighting tooth and nail to corner my mom into changing her way of thinking if my dad is just going to be passive about it.

so basically TDLR everyone is acting like theres nothing weird going on here and that there has not been an obvious shift in my dad and i's relationship, even my dad himself. mom says she was overprotective because of paranoia, which i believe, but no solution because to her it is was and is her right to be protective of me as my mother, even if my dad is not a sick incestrous predator, it is "better to be safe than sorry", and she had good intentions when acting the way she did in high school. dad doesnt want beef stew anymore, she no recollection of crashing out at us for assembling furnature together without my fiance present and she insists she simply calmly asked where my fiance was, and my dad didn't say much other than "you know how your mom is". so again, i guess this will just go unresolved, and my relationship with my dad will just be different from now on. i know this wasn't the update a lot of people wanted, but thats yup thats just the honest truth.

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u/TAihatemylawfirm — 19 days ago
▲ 1.9k r/TwoHotTakes+2 crossposts

my mom is constantly worried my dad and i are having an inappropriate relationship and it has caused distance between my dad and i. what can i do to assure her we are not?

for context, i am currently 25 and my dad is 50. my mom 46 or so.

when i was around 6, i, like many other girls around that age, said i had a crush on my dad, not even really knowing what having a crush meant. i just knew he was a nice person who played toys with me and made me happy. obviously once i grew up and realized what having a crush meant, i did NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES have a crush on my own father. however, while i was growing up (Teen years) she would occasionally bring this up and ask me why i said this kind of in a "joking manner". i found it weird she kept bringing up something i said when i was 6 but i would just be like "im not sure haha i was really young i didnt know what that even meant", but she would still ask me after that sometimes.

then, in high school, my parents slept seperately during the weekdays because my mom had just given birth to my brother who would wake up a lot in the middle of the night and my dad had to get up at 3am for work. most of our bed linens, towels, and toilet paper were stored in my parents master closet downstairs. i stayed up late on weekends so my dad would leave the door unlocked for me in case i needed to grab anything. i remember one night before using the restroom i realized i ran out of toilet paper so i went downstairs to the master bedroom/ the bedroom my dad was sleeping in, and tried to grab some. my mom heard me and came downstairs to check what i was doing, then asked why i was in his room so late at night. i told her i was grabbing toilet paper and she kind of eyed me and asked why my pajamas were on inside out (when i am at home i dont really care about my pajamas being inside out or the correct way when i put them on, kind of weird i know but im just careless about that honestly). i explained to her why and then i jsut went upstairs after that. my pajamas are either shorts and a tank top, a big shirt with shorts, or a night dress. she would complain about all of them and ask me to put on something that covers more. meanwhile she would wear the exact same thing and it was ok???

all throughout highschool when i would go down to my dads room to grab anything while he was asleep, she would leave her and my brothers room upstairs and go downstairs to see what i was doing if she heard me walk down the stairs. i didn't really mind it too much but just found it a bit weird. if i was wearing a shirt where you could see the outline of my body too much, or if i was wearing a dress that was shorter than knee length, she would always tell me to cover up around my dad. i remember coming home from a school dance once, and my dress was just above my knee, but when i would sit it would rise slightly up to my thighs (it looked kind of like this dress) . my mom freaked out and gave me a blanket when i sat down in the car, even though it was just my mom, my dad, and i in the car. she told me she doesn't want me in that dress around my dad anymore. my dad has never once been weird to me by the way. we got in an argument about this once, and i asked her why she would tell me to cover up when dad is perfectly normal and what im wearing is perfectly normal, and she said because she "wants to prevent things from happening". i asked what things, and she said she doesn't want to talk about it, but out of respect for her i should cover up around my dad. like what?? we went back and forth and she kept saying i need to just respect her and cover up around my dad. genuinely what the hell . i got tired of arguing w her so i just didn't wear that dress again.

then i moved out after i graduated college and currently live with my fiance. we got this apt bc its 10 mins from mine and my fiance's work, and my apartment just so happens to be 5 mins from where my dad works. my dad offered to come help with setting furniture up because he works so closeby. when he came by, my fiance wasn't home from work yet, so we just set up furniture together alone. my mom found out it was just my dad and i alone in my apartment, and went off on him. called me after she went off to him and she was so mad , asking me why my fiance wasn't there and where he was. now, my dad won't even come into my apartment if hes alone. he left his lunch at home the other day, i offered lunch at my place, and he refuses to come. i had to give something to him yesterday, and he facetimed my mom the whole time he was in the parking lot of my apartment, showing her the front camera and how he was parked outside my apartment, not going in.

i used to bring lunches for him sometimes on days id be off work. i made him beef stew a while ago and he loved it, so much that he would ask me for a plate whenever he knew i was making it, so i would bring it to him occasionally during his lunch. my mom found out and has since told me to stop doing this, and she said he "hates it but just eats it to be polite". if that was the case, why would he ASK for some multiple times? its not like i offered it first. after that, i tried offering him a bowl after i made some the other day, and suddenly he said he doesn't want any.

although neither of us explicitly say it, i feel like my mom thinks there is something more going on between my dad and i, and she addresses it by trying to distance us. typing this out made me sad, kind of hurt in a way because i feel like my dad and i have done nothing to deserve this. i don't want my relationship with my dad to become nonexistent because my mom thinks we have something else going on when we very much do not. anyone know why she might feel this way and what can i do to assure her we are not?

u/NoPriority3327 — 19 days ago
▲ 18 r/OutsideT14lawschools

Off waitlist at AUWCL but they ran out of $ :(

Off the WL but was notified this morning scholarship $ ran out. Meaning I'd have to take out loans for tuition AND living in DC. I have until tomorrow to decide. Prob will be a no since I cannot afford that. RIP. I was rly excited to be in DC :(

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u/TAihatemylawfirm — 1 month ago
▲ 5 r/lawschooladmissions

Off AUWCL waitlist but no scholly :(

Off the WL but was notified this morning scholarship $ ran out. Meaning I'd have to take out loans for tuition AND living in DC. I have until tomorrow to decide. Prob will be a no since I cannot afford that. RIP. I was rly excited to be in DC :(

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u/TAihatemylawfirm — 1 month ago
▲ 0 r/lawschooladmissions

Full tuition scholarship to TSU Law (Conditional). If I happen to fail out due to the conditions, will I owe anything?

Basically the title. I was offered a full tuition scholarship to TSU law!!!! However after talking to a few people, I'm having some doubts. Is the scholarship worth taking? It is conditional upon a 3.0 GPA. I assume worst case if I can't meet that GPA I fail out but don't owe anything?

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u/TAihatemylawfirm — 2 months ago