u/TeaExternal0875

Hi everyone. **24F here (5’8, 155 lbs)**, full time teacher and hoping to get some of your opinions and feedback. I’m at a loss.

When I was in my late teens, I started experiencing **extreme fatigue**. It’s gotten to the point where, at times, I am awake for only about 8 hours a day. I cook food, I have to lay down. I go out with friends for an hour, I need a nap as soon as I’m home. I went to a couple doctors, each said it could be a vitamin deficiency or anxiety or the mental health medication I’m on, and sent me on my way. Over the years, it’s become almost debilitating at times. My Mom is a nurse and it’s ingrained in me not to go to the doctor unless I’m on death’s door, though, so I just kept trudging on. With a lot of caffeine.

Then, in the past three years, I began getting what I referred to as ‘stress fevers’. I thought this was normal until one of my close friends told me that it’s very much not. When I get stressed, overwhelmed, and sometimes just at random, I feel like I have the flu for a few hours or a day or two, get a **fever**, and then I’m fine. A bit achy and generally gross feeling, but nothing contagious.

I’ve learned to navigate this new normal. I had a spinal fusion at 15 due to scoliosis and am no stranger to chronic pain. But lately, it’s gotten ***worse***. In February I had 5 fevers, which is the most I’ve gotten in a single month (all 100 degrees or over). In the past two months, I’ve started to get bone/joint pain mainly in my arms, hands, and hips to where, on a couple of occasions, it’s kept me from sleep.

Here are some clinical findings to note that I don’t know have to do with anything but just in case:
\- negative ANA
\- treated for H Pylori in 2024
\- gallbladder removed in 2024 due to gallstone bile duct blockages
\- a few years ago had random rectal bleeding when using the bathroom that doctors had no idea why I was having it and still don’t? Have had it a couple times since, no hemorrhoids or tears were present per doctor
\- normal thyroid tests
\- have had cervical and ovarian cysts, nothing crazy
\- spinal fusion T3-L1 due to scoliosis in 2017
\- consistently elevated MPV throughout the past 3ish years (nothing crazy, like 1 or 2 points above the normal range, but is every time I get blood work)
\- otherwise normal bloodwork every time
\- when looking up the Beighton score I do meet, I think, 4-5 points. But from what I’ve heard hEDS wouldn’t account for the fevers and general malaise/sickness.

I know I just listed off a ton but I’m grasping at straws here. I’m scared this is going to get worse. I’m only 24 and love my job. I’m scared I’m never going to find answers and that doctors will keep telling me it’s in my head. I don’t know how to make this stop or what would make it better.

I’m appreciative of any viewpoints or next steps you can recommend to me. Feel free to ask any questions at all. Thank you thank you thank you.

Hi everyone. 24F here (5’8, 155 lbs), full time teacher and hoping to get some of your opinions and feedback. I’m at a loss.

When I was in my late teens, I started experiencing extreme fatigue. It’s gotten to the point where, at times, I am awake for only about 8 hours a day. I cook food, I have to lay down. I go out with friends for an hour, I need a nap as soon as I’m home. I went to a couple doctors, each said it could be a vitamin deficiency or anxiety or the mental health medication I’m on, and sent me on my way. Over the years, it’s become almost debilitating at times. My Mom is a nurse and it’s ingrained in me not to go to the doctor unless I’m on death’s door, though, so I just kept trudging on. With a lot of caffeine.

Then, in the past three years, I began getting what I referred to as ‘stress fevers’. I thought this was normal until one of my close friends told me that it’s very much not. When I get stressed, overwhelmed, and sometimes just at random, I feel like I have the flu for a few hours or a day or two, get a fever, and then I’m fine. A bit achy and generally gross feeling, but nothing contagious.

I’ve learned to navigate this new normal. I had a spinal fusion at 15 due to scoliosis and am no stranger to chronic pain. But lately, it’s gotten worse. In February I had 5 fevers, which is the most I’ve gotten in a single month (all 100 degrees or over). In the past two months, I’ve started to get bone/joint pain mainly in my arms, hands, and hips to where, on a couple of occasions, it’s kept me from sleep.

Here are some clinical findings to note:
- negative ANA
- gallbladder removed in 2024 due to gallstone bile duct blockages
- normal thyroid tests
- spinal fusion T3-L1 due to scoliosis in 2017
- consistently elevated MPV throughout the past 3ish years (nothing crazy, like 1 or 2 points above the normal range, but is every time I get blood work)
- otherwise normal bloodwork every time
- when looking up the Beighton score I do meet, I think, 4-5 points. But from what I’ve heard hEDS wouldn’t account for the fevers and general malaise/sickness.

I’m scared this is going to get worse. I’m only 24 and love my job. I’m scared I’m never going to find answers and that doctors will keep telling me it’s in my head. I don’t know how to make this stop or what would make it better.

I’m appreciative of any viewpoints or next steps you can recommend to me. Feel free to ask any questions at all. Thank you thank you thank you.

Hi everyone. 24F here going for my MA at Johns Hopkins, in a program I am very honored (and was not expecting) to be part of.

I started my first semester at the end of May. Within the same week, I moved to a different state by myself for the first time, and my Grandma (who raised me) passed away. Needless to say, it’s been a chaotic time.

My Professors have been very understanding of my situation and the fact that I didn’t want to drop this semester. I’ve been in frequent contact with them. I am the youngest one in all of my classes. I have missed a couple sessions and although I don’t have any missing assignments, I have turned some in late.

Did anyone else go through anything similar? I’m trying my best, but how do I not fall into the young people = irresponsible stereotype? Any feedback is welcome. I know I’m just overthinking and need reassurance, but I want them to know I take this seriously.

Hi everyone! 24F here who has a history of not being the best with money, but is trying to get better. For reference, I am a teacher and make about $62k/year.

Recently I inherited about $20k from my Grandma. I’m unsure of what to do with it. I have quite a bit of debt- $15k car, and about $30k in student & personal loans I took out while in college- to pay off, but don’t know if I should use the whole amount for that? Maybe half and then put the rest in a HYSA? Or investments? No clue.

I’m not the most financially literate but am trying to learn and am hoping to be better. Thank you for any insight!

Hi everyone! 24F here who has a history of not being the best with money, but is trying to get better. For reference, I am a teacher and make about $62k/year.

Recently I inherited about $20k from my Grandma. I’m unsure of what to do with it. I have quite a bit of debt- $15k car, and about $30k in student & personal loans I took out while in college- to pay off, but don’t know if I should use the whole amount for that? Maybe half and then put the rest in a HYSA? Or investments? No clue.

I’m not the most financially literate but am trying to learn and am hoping to be better. Thank you for any insight!

Hi everyone. In the spirit of Michael Scott, I’m not sure what exactly I’m going to say here, but I hope I find it along the way.

I am 24F and have always kept my circle small. I went through some traumas as a kid that made it hard for me to relate to others my age, and I found that still rang true throughout high school and college. I have never felt like the “first choice friend”. More so just the steady presence always there in the background. Regardless, I’m lucky enough to have a few close friends scattered throughout the country; some who have known me for 5-10+ years. Through some very shitty versions of me at that.

My issue is this: I think there is something intrinsically wrong with how I approach friendships, and I don’t know what it is. I think it’s negative self esteem? Or maybe just me being crazy? I don’t know. I have always romanticized the whole concept of “having a best friend and being each other’s #1”, but in that vain of thinking, at some point, I think I inevitably become too much. I take it personally when I feel I’m not valued or respected in the same way I do them. For instance, I recently began feeling insecure in one of my long-term friendships because she has friends she is closer with than me. I know, I know. I mean, what are we, in middle school? Even typing it sounds ridiculous. But seriously. In my mind, this has been detrimental. My own insecurity of not being her “best friend” or “favorite person” began showing until I eventually latched onto her so heavily, and over-analyzed her every move in my head, that I’m worried she caught on to my internal dilemma and started to suffocate. We got in a disagreement about my spending habits, which she feels aren’t the best (and she’s right), but I told her the way she was speaking to me was very condescending and like I’m 5. We haven’t really spoken since.

Sometimes I feel like the jester in my relationships. “Oh, there she goes again! But at least she’s making us laugh”. There have been some friendships where I am always the butt of the joke. It has taken me years to build up my self esteem to the point of being able to say, “hey, I didn’t like how you said ____” or “that actually made me feel crappy”. The line blurs to where I’m not sure if I am sabotaging the relationship, if it’s normal drifting apart, or the least likely option, that the blame does not lie on me in some way.

How do I not latch onto friendships in a way that makes me too much? What is the right amount of being a friend? How do I become okay with never being someone’s first choice? I always feel like I am the problem. I just don’t know what to do to fix it.

Hi everyone. If this is not the sub I should be posting this to, please let me know and I will remove.

I am 24F Elementary School Teacher. I have been interested in the Death Doula practice for a few years, but haven’t done anything beyond surface level research into certifications and programs.

This past month, my Grandma (who raised me; she is my best friend) passed. It was over the course of about a month. She often confided in me about her worries. A couple days before she transitioned, she looked at me with such clarity and fear, and said “I just don’t know what is going to happen.” It broke my heart.

I know I have a gift in connecting with kids, and feel called to use it in scenarios similar to what I went through with my Grandma. I want to help them know what is going to happen (kids are often not given enough credit for this), and for their last weeks to be filled with comfort, friendship, and conversations they may not feel explicitly comfortable having with their grieving families. In other words, I want to be someone they can put some of the weight they’re carrying onto.

In doing research I found that there is such a gap between end of life companionship between kids and adults, and I want to help bridge it… But I don’t know where to start. Do I complete some training courses? Do I make a website? Reach out to hospice facilities? Hospitals? Is there a way to ‘shadow’ someone already doing the work?

If you, a patient, or a loved one has had experience with a pediatric palliative or hospice patient, what support did you feel you needed? What companionship did you or did you not get, and what did it look like?

Again, please let me know if I should post elsewhere. I hope that was not too long-winded. I am here to learn. Thank you 🤍

Hi everyone. If this is not the sub I should be posting this to, please let me know and I will remove.

I am 24F Elementary School Teacher. I have been interested in the Death Doula practice for a few years, but haven’t done anything beyond surface level research into certifications and programs.

This past month, my Grandma (who raised me; she is my best friend) passed. It was over the course of about a month. She often confided in me about her worries. A couple days before she transitioned, she looked at me with such clarity and fear, and said “I just don’t know what is going to happen.” It broke my heart.

I know I have a gift in connecting with kids, and feel called to use it in scenarios similar to what I went through with my Grandma. I want to help them know what is going to happen (kids are often not given enough credit for this), and for their last weeks to be filled with comfort, friendship, and conversations they may not feel explicitly comfortable having with their grieving families. In other words, I want to be someone they can put some of the weight they’re carrying on.

In doing research I found that there is such a gap between end of life companionship between kids and adults, and I want to help bridge it… But I don’t know where to start. Do I complete some training courses? Do I make a website? Reach out to hospice facilities? Hospitals? Is there a way to ‘shadow’ someone already doing the work?

If you, a patient, or a loved one has had experience with a pediatric palliative or hospice patient, what support did you feel you needed? What companionship did you or did you not get, and what did it look like?

Again, please let me know if I should post elsewhere. I hope that was not too long-winded. I am here to learn. Thank you 🤍

Hi everyone! I am searching for a good PCP Doctor rec in the Denver area (Downtown, Thornton, Aurora; I don’t care! I don’t mind a drive if the care is good).

I am 24F and for the past few years have been working closely with various Dr’s to get a diagnosis for a hard-to-pinpoint connective tissue/autoimmune disorder that has progressively gotten worse. For right now it is labeled as “unspecified”. Before relocating to CO, I had an incredible Dr who actually listened to me and didn’t brush everything off as anxiety. She dove deep into the actual issue and was driven to find me answers. It took me years to find her and I’m worried about finding someone similar to her now that I moved.

Hi! I live in an apartment and have two medium-sized dogs. They are not kenneled and pretty well behaved, but are unfortunately very smart, and know how to open my front door (yes, even when it’s locked).

I don’t kennel them, so usually I keep them in my bedroom with the door shut whenever I’m out (the bedroom has a round door knob instead of lever, so they usually cant open it). However I’m wanting to let them out to roam the house while I am gone. Is there a kind of external door lock you have used before? For reference, the door pushes open from the outside, so traditional ones that stop a door from pushing inwards would not work. With the layout of my place, an indoor gate by the door wouldn’t work as well.

TIA!!!! If you have any other recs please let me know (:

I live in an apartment. Good or horrible idea? If you have used it, what precautions did you use to make sure there wasn’t damage? I found a few promising ones on Amazon but don’t want to put it up without further research.

Hi everyone! MA Writing/Lit student here.

My uni doesn’t have any Linguistic/Etymology specific courses, but I am really wanting to dive into some… Does anyone have any pointers on where I should look? Books I should get, courses, etc.? Paid or unpaid is fine.

I’d love to one way work as a consultant or forensic/research linguist. I’m currently an English teacher. There is just so much to learn! ☺️

T3-L1 here. Anyone have a mattress preference that supports their fusion well? I’m about to get a new one.