u/Technical-Remote-514

Thank god , I didn't feel left out today. My friends weren't there so there were us "3 loners" sitting together around a canteen table else I always end up crashing a grp unintentionally when I see an empty seat or awkwardly leaves after apologising.

One who was next to me seemed to be a fresher who was completely blanked out , eating chole bature staring mid air into nothingness, lost in thoughts..... She looked kinda sad ... maybe I'm wrong and the other had an ipad on, having veg momos and pepsi on the side - watching smth engaging. She looked so cool lowkey

I really wanted to strike a convo but couldn't haha 😭

We were in a world of our own, detached from our bustling surroundings but smhw we were not A L O N E if that makes sense.

WHAT IS THIS UPDATE? CAN'T EVEN TYPE A L O N E

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABT R E L A T I O N 🚢 G N G

As a child I was never like this. I was very social . I wonder if it's the constant school changing and the time it took me to get adjusted to a new environment that made me this way . However my sister is exact opposite of me despite all this. So I'm the problem ...

I always find ways to avoid crowds. It feels too suffocating. I'm dealing with a lot already and this isn't making it any better. My room is my comfort zone and the moment I step out of it , it feels like a challenge.

What am I gonna do when I have to face interviews one day??

I'm so scared

There is a communication barrier here since it isn't my native language . I do understand it to an extent but still I fumble up while speaking. I was even shouted at by drivers or delivery guys when it wasn't even really my fault when they go to the wrong address or smth else happens. I can't even properly defend myself.

So my social anxiety is just getting worser especially when someone approaches me

I'm actually envious of people who can speak up confidently , in a good way I mean.

I feel so troubled. It has gotten worse to the point that I feel like they're all judging me. I felt very dizzy and my vision got blurry in one of the lectures as I was a total loner yesterday. I even find myself shivering at times...

Idk what to do .... I feel lost.

I'm not expecting a response but...

I don't wanna seem vulnerable in front of anyone as a matter of fact. Not anymore. They would just reopen the wound and inflict more pain into you :)

I find myself crying a lot randomly or unable to cry at all when I'm down. My roommate would be coming in a few days . What do I even do if this keeps on going?

How do I act normal all the time ...?

I won't be able to find my alone time then.....

Atleast sleep would help me escape the daunting thoughts but I barely got any sleep and I have dark circles too now. I look so pathetic ...

I feel tired throughout the day yet can't sleep much

I'm starting to hate myself . If I can't love myself enough who else will.....

I'm already insecure enough but it's getting worser now.

Why is all of this happening to me..

I'm wasting all my days doing nothin but lost in draining thoughts that keeps on haunting me no matter what I try to do.

Now all of this is gonna take a toll on me academically as well. I can't focus , no matter how much I'm trying. This is not who I used to be

I have lost the will to live but ik I have to keep going .........

But it's too tough.................... Every day feels like a nightmare

3 weeks. It's been 3 weeks since I'm mentally down and depressed. I feel so weak. I even feel like dropping out of my classes when I genuinely can't.

I felt a bit hopeful for a while but again down the same rabbithole all again.

I'm literally doing nothing all day , left with thoughts that bother me all day long.

Now mostly all my posts are related to this. Never thought such a day would come. I was able to overcome all the times I felt down , I could actually find an escape through my hobbies

But this time it feels too tough. It's too draining. Feels like I'm enveloped by darkness that's inevitable .. I wish I was the carefree young me....

I'm even anxious to approach a therapist. I don't think I can . Nor do I have that much money to spend on sessions as I'm still a student but I'm trying to save up. I want to live but each passing day is just getting gloomier.

So I don't see the point. I'm labelled as irresponsible and lazy as always. But it hurts to hear everytime..I'm genuinely trying.

My parents are upset with me now since I didn't give much updates abt my day. They were concerned. I get where they're coming from and it was indeed my fault.. But that doesn't mean that they could make me feel so bad , not talking to me much and scolding me for being irresponsible.

Now I don't even think I can open to them abt this. I don't wanna burden them as always

I'm all alone here for now. For atleast a few days until my friend comes..

I'm not ok. Idk how will I manage when she comes in..I can't even cry then. I would have to bottle up my emotions. It's honestly getting too tough. How long should I keep on pretending.....

The day I feel a bit better smth or the other always ruins it. Why me....?

My physical health is also deteriorating nowadays. I get the feeling at times that shouldn't have been born.

My existence is just worthless and burdensome

Hi,

I'm trying to earn some money to meet my own expenses .

I'm pretty fluent in English and has always scored well in it .

I'm looking for :-

-> content writing if any , prices are negotiable.

-> proofreading and editing

-> research support for assignments

-> digital poster making

Would really appreciate if anyone could give me a chance to do the same.

I can use MS word and canva well enough.

I'm not sure if I would get a response but the past weeks were quite depressing for me but smhw I'm trying to keep myself occupied, tryna do a lot of things, but still I feel empty inside. Numb... no matter what I do and it sucks. It isn't supposed to be like this. I wish to be happy . Some days I used to cry a lot uncontrollably but these days I'm unable to cry and smhw that's making me feel a lot worse.

And I'm going along with the journey of healing , trying to move forward

What concerns is me that my health is deteriorating and I wonder if it's linked to this... I'm unsure

I overslept for 3-4 days which never happened before unless I'm exhausted.

Past 2 days I haven't slept at all. I was feeling energetic yesterday but today I feel so dizzy and I have got dark circles too. I have been trying to sleep but I'm unable to. I'm scared now.

I can't seek professional help in any way for now.....

And I can't miss my classes tmrw.. So what do I realistically do to make myself sleep. If there's any tips....???

When I heard the song first , I loved it instantly and I found the tune very catchy .... I smhw found it really familiar .

Only did I discover recently that it was inspired frm O-ZONE "Dragostea Din Tei"

Like damnnn it shocked me too much . That meme tune never left my mind 😭🫪

I post , I overthink take down my post. But to make it brief , I'm not okay at all. It's been like 2 weeks now since I genuinely felt happy. I feel so down. I tried doing various things I love to do but it's not the same as before. It sucks. Smth is amiss ...

A lot of things happened at once. All of a sudden. Unexpectedly. And now it feels like I'm all alone , trapped , pretending that I'm fine.

I can't handle it. Test me one at a time. I'm not strong enough to handle it all.

I can't go to any therapy as of now and it's expensive I assume. I don't want my parents to find out in any way.

I'm already a disappointment to them . I have 2 younger siblings who look upto me or so I think.

How can I be weak infront of them if they need a shoulder to lie on?

Seeing either of them sad genuinely breaks me apart. Yet I'm selfish, isolating myself for the past few days, wasting my days to , though it isn't my intention but I can't help it.

I found myself oversleeping thrice which has never happened before unless I was really exhausted after travel or smth similar to it.

I'm afraid it's some way of coping up.... I hope so I'm wrong....Sleeping almost the entire day or half a day.

And to get scolded in the end 🫠

I'm gonna be homesick in 2 days , I have to go back to my clg which is far away. It's just gonna get worse . Ik it. The pretending game has to go on for too long...

I don't know anymore. I wish I didn't exist. But this is not who I'm. I used to be optimistic, no matter how tough things were. But it's getting too hard. I'm unable to share it with anyone close.

Idk whom to confide in with yet I wanna keep it all private. I have been struggling a lot mentally but smhw I kept on pushing through each day and there were times where I found myself happy. I thought everything will be fine but I have been struggling a lot the past week , feeling down and depressed . Yesterday made it all worse... The person whom I loved with all my heart for the first time ever was not serious about me . I ended up cutting all contacts with him though deep down I wanna reach him out but I can't ....He was my comfort zone, Now I feel so lonely and trapped.

I pretend like I'm fine with everyone when I'm really not. When I vent out my emotions I do it with random ppl who lent their ears rather than anyone close. Well it isn't easy and I don't think I can. I hate how sensitive I'm. I wish I could be stronger emotionally... This is gonna ruin me in the long run

One day I found myself sleeping throughout the entire day as a way of coping up with my emotions and yesterday I couldn't sleep at all. One night I find myself crying nonstop the other night I can't shed a single tear though I'm very hurt inside. I'm totally clueless how to proceed with this since I'm a college student. I don't want my parents to know nor do I want anyone to gossip about me. Is there any way maybe to find therapy sessions online or whatever ? I just don't know...

Also I would have to start prepping for competitive exam real soon , just studies with almost no contact with anyone....I finally decided I will go for it , well I promised. Can't go back on my words

That's how it works but there's still time for it. But if my mental health isn't better by then I'm afraid I will end up doing smth worse

This has been going on for quite a long while now... I feel very depressed during night. A wave of loneliness hits me. Idk the exact reason why. I spent hours crying or sometimes I can't cry at all and it feels even worse. Then I tend to recall awful memories....which I don't want to.

I used to like night time cuz it felt peaceful but now I'm sort of questioning it...

Music calms me down . So I do listen to songs and feel a little better or cry more

Is this normal? Cuz I don't think so... I'm just confused as to why this is happening .

Also my exams are upcoming. I have the habit of studying at night mostly but now I'm very much struggling. I'm trying but I can't seem to concentrate at all...

Genuine advices needed plz Thank you!

There used to be a time when wattpad used to be so lively with so many notifications, new chapters so on and so forth. I have made good connections there and I'm still in contact with some

Precious days !!!

Now Sahara desert is far better than wattpad. It's dry af

I feel like they shouldn't have closed the dm option forever. It all went wrong from then on

Am I alone in this or can anyone relate? I used to open this app everyday yrs back but now I barely use the app anymore

Is it that everyone just collectively got busy with their lives? I really don't get it