u/Teripendiicecreamyum

Age 35 and I cant live like this. It started at age 20 where I would hide from people or places where I'd have to meet them. I purposely ignore people too when they're just friendly. It has to do with my ego, low self esteem and maybe agrophobia.

I'm the most negative man and avoid people because I grew up alone and never had a family or someone to teach me all the things.

This caused me to always have straight face without a smile, ignore people because I never really learned to socialize. Also, suffer from low self-esteem and worth, despite getting called good looking by women and being in shape.

I tried to fake to be a people's person and realized that I'm selective with whom I really interact with, instead of greeting everyone. I don't know how to change at this point(Age 35)

I had 3 guys in a week that workout around the same time telling me that one of the girl that trains here found me cute and was asking them, if I'm single.

This woman literally never made eye contact and avoided me like a plague. She'd speak with other guys.

Thing is they all train different times/days usually, so can't be trolling me.

I've wasted last 16 years and today went with a friend and it was cold. We sat in peace looking at the water and birds chirping.

I felt so calm and happy. Going to start doing this daily.

Please go sit by the water/lake on a bench and watch/hear nature.

As simple as it sounds, its just a number on the screen that goes up and down. You're blowing your life savings/taking loans to see it and feed this drug to your mind for fake happiness.

I'm facing the reality now and cry daily because I am in 75k debt and gf wants to get married. I'm emotionally dead.

I had around 100k in savings on Dec 17,2025 and no debt. ​

I've hit rock bottom lately seeing that women literally avoid me and men feel intimidated by me and avoid me too.

I thought it was my rbf, but even with smile most people just stare at me with straight face.

Within 5 months people have turned me into a loner at work and other places. I noticed the same at family events too. People just avoid me, won't greet me and give one word answer if I approach them.

This all happened in last few months. Can't tell, if my resting beech face is that bad even when I smile or people are intimidated because I'm in shape(not a juice head)

I'm confused about my one female coworker that I tried to be friends with.

She ignores all men not by making eye contact, but stares at them when they have their back.

I'm the only guy she opened up to a little when I started asking about her hobbies. She couldn't hold eye contact. I stopped bothering her because she never greets me turns her back if I'm walking in her direction to get to my table.

I did catch her stare at me from behind. She's normal with women at work tho.

It's awkward now to get to my table with her in the way daily and she won't acknowledge me most of the days pretending to be working. I turn around from corner of my eyes and she's staring.

I've started experimenting and realized that most people I meet at work, gym, family events never smile first when they see me.

If I dont have a smile on my face, they don't either and won't even bother to greet me. I thought it was 50-50 and not one sided always in life.

Worst was seeing 3 of my coworkers dead stare when we make eyecontact. No hello from them anymore. I feel isolated, but it showed me who is happy to see me and who is avoiding me now to not reach me.

I tried to experiment and realized none of coworkers bothered to smile or stop by to say hello. They'd blank stare, if I don't smile back first and won't even say hello or anything. These are extroverts.

I usually to always smile first or greet and pulling back made me realize they don't care to greet me first. I don't even feel like interacting with them anymore other than work related stuff.

How do you make them open up?

Edit: I started approaching this woman because I caught her staring at my back or bum. she only talks to me and none of the other guys, if i approach her.

how do I test/tease her to find out, if feelings are mutual? she gets nervous to hold eye contact talking. she has no problem to stare at me from behind. I turn back and boom, caught her staring multiple times