u/Then-Wafer7423

I’ve been a Baptist for over 10 years, and I know we’re taught to date with the intention of marriage and only within the faith. At the same time, I’ve seen fellow Baptists marry the wrong person despite sharing the same beliefs.

Recently, I’ve been returning to the Lord after a season of backsliding. During that time, I used dating apps, which I know I shouldn’t have, but I was always upfront that I was dating with the intention of marriage.

I met someone who genuinely values having God at the center of his future family and wants his future children to grow up in a church community. However, he doesn’t understand salvation or what it means to be born again. He currently thinks it’s about being a good person, but he’s very open to learning. I briefly shared the gospel with him, and he actually asked me to teach him more. I haven’t yet because I’m examining my motives. I don’t want to teach him just so we can become “equally yoked.”

We’ve both developed feelings, and he’s been very intentional about pursuing me. I even told him that if he wanted to court me, he would need to go through my pastor and my family, and he was willing to do that. Still, I know my pastor would likely not approve because he isn’t yet a believer in the biblical sense.

So now I’m conflicted. Should I have never entertained him in the first place, or is this situation not always so black and white? Is it wrong to hope and pray that he comes to genuine faith, especially since he’s sincerely searching for the truth?

The only other concern is that he’s skeptical about the Bible because he has studied religion and believes some translations don’t perfectly reflect the original text, even the KJV.

Am I just being stubborn, or is there genuine hope here? Does it always have to be so black and white? After all, even people who profess the same faith can end up in unhealthy marriages, and we can’t always know who is truly born again.

I mean I get it, people change their minds because of characters. I read about that often but how often does lack of physical attraction happen?

I mean I get it, people change their minds because of characters. I read about that often but how often does lack of physical attraction happen?

Also, is there like a national art club in the Philippines where there’s an annual gathering or exhibit that I can join and meet fellow artists? Would love to be more active and intentional with my art from now on and would love to be a part of an active community. Thank you! 🎨

Edit:
If not, I wish someone could make it happen. This would be so helpful to bring artists together, lift each other up, and make friends. Why don’t I do it you ask? It’s because I don’t have the leadership skill to make this happen. Lol

If you told someone you liked her but the distance and her lack of interest in online sexual stuff made you look elsewhere, would it irritate you if she reached out to you again? Would you rather ignore her? In what context would you want to reply to her?

I downloaded a dating app a little over a month ago, and one of my first matches turned into a genuinely enjoyable connection. We talked for three weeks, had one video call, and both said we were looking for something serious. However, he was always honest that he wasn’t sure he could handle a long-distance relationship since we live on different continents.

I continued talking to him anyway because I hoped he might eventually see potential in us. When I asked for clarity during the third week, he told me he liked me and wanted to consider it seriously, but he didn’t think he could realistically do LDR. He even said that if we lived in the same place and had more opportunities to meet, it would be great.

What makes it harder is that while we were talking, he remained active on the dating app and even changed his location to another country in my continent—still thousands of miles from him, but one with direct flights and where he was already planning to travel with family. Realistically, he isn’t wealthy and doesn’t have much control over his vacation time.

It’s been two weeks since I last heard from him, and I’m still struggling to move on. I liked him a lot, and I feel very disposable. Part of me keeps wondering whether he still thinks about me at all. I have an anxious attachment style and I’m also a highly sensitive person, so this has hit me harder than I’d like. How do you get over something like this?

Edit: He also told me “We were talking about sexual things before and well, they are important for me. And with you seems impossible to have fun time even online and it will be unfair to ask for you for it.” And that’s what makes it harder to move on because he actually respected my boundaries and I liked him even more for that. Right at the moment he was actually telling me about his limit. So hard. So painful.

I (28f) have always been claustrophobic, but lately, it’s manifesting to how I see my own world. I’m suffocating. I got laid off from my last job which ended just last May 8th so I know it’s not the main reason why I’m stressing. I was doing well before I started using dating apps. I was trying to better myself by learning more about myself which led me to discovering that I’m an HSP. I’m aware I’m more sensitive than usual throughout my life, but I didn’t know it’s actually a temperament that has specific triggers and needs. I’ve also been working from home since 2023 and haven’t been really out to mingle with people aside from my church community that I was regularly seeing twice or more a week. But I also stopped going to church two months ago because the triggers eventually felt heavier. So I haven’t been really seeing people for two months now except occasionally when some of my friends and I go for a walk. And ayun na nga, I met someone from Czechia who I ended up liking a lot. I thought he was looking for a serious relationship just like I was, but ended up he was more interested in the sexual side of things rather than building an actual connection and it left me so shaken up. My childhood wounds about rejection and not being good enough are reopened. However, he did say if we were in the same place or had more chance of meeting, it would be great. And I felt so helpless kasi I’ve read stories where women did the first step to visit their men abroad because they have the means, and I don’t. Ang hirap maging mahirap. I want to get over the victim mindset pero what do I do if I don’t have the money to pursue my dreams of studying/working or traveling abroad? I don’t even have the money to continue my therapy to have better emotional regulation. And how do I work on making money if my nervous system is fried for years now? I live in the countryside pa and I feel so disconnected from the life that I want for myself. My world feels so small. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sya palalakihin ulit. Ni hindi ko mabitawan ang dating apps kahit na nabuburn out na ako just a month after using it. It’s like I’m trying to replace the guy I like knowing fully well that at the moment, it’s impossible to find someone attractive when he’s still in my mind. Idk if he led me on or I just didn’t know how to use dating apps or how to navigate early dating and getting to know each other stage. I attached too quickly. My world feels small kasi sya magttravel sa South Korea next month and for sure, he’s gonna meet a match or more there while I’m stuck here in my province, wondering where I misunderstood our connection, with nowhere to go to vent or distract myself with. Ang hirap maging poor girl with the awareness of how big the world is and not having the means to access it. It’s very suffocating. I want to do a lot of things but unfortunately, I need money and mental/emotional bandwidth to be able to do them. It sucks. I’m tempted to ask ChatGPT to organize this post kasi I know very scattered yung thoughts ko. May videoke kasi sa malapit, di ako makaconcentrate. Haha. Sorry. But I’m now aware how AI tools are also taking a toll on my mental health. Ginawa ko kasing therapist, hindi pala dapat. Ayun lang po, I really don’t know what to do. I also have suicidal thoughts but never pa naman sya nagmanifest into actual intents. I’m just stuck and don’t know what to do. I’ll appreciate any insights from you. Thank you so much! I have a lot to add but maybe ito muna. Again, thank you!

For attractive men who set their locations internationally (esp Japan and South Korea but I will accept answers of just about any country), how often do you get matches with or without subscription with little to no profile information on the app?

Well, let’s call it what it is. Dating app is a marketplace. Anyway…

For attractive men who set their locations internationally (esp Japan and South Korea but I will accept answers of just about any country), how often do you get matches with or without subscription with little to no profile information on the app?

I don't know if it's scary but I just wanted to share it.

I had a dream one night. I'm aware of the fact that we don't just have one or two dreams every night but we often forget about them when we wake up. But this one particular dream (or nightmare) is very vivid to me until now. So I went to a place in a province, I'm not even sure if it's in the Philippines or what language is used in that place, all I know is that it's my native language. In this place, there's a town that's known for a very disturbing culture or I don't know, I don't understand it, they're known for that. Because here in this town, they're so poor. No words to describe. They're really poor that the children born in that place take the initiative to end their own lives but their way of doing it is uniform. Sometimes they even have someone with them. So what these kids do is, they tie themselves to a piece of wood that is prepared or set up underwater for that very purpose. And the cloth they use is red. There is also yellow if I'm not mistaken but I'm not sure. Sometimes, someone will help them tie the cloth underwater as if that is the most normal thing in the lives of the people there. I saw this scene underwater as if it were a documentary but there was also a scene in my dream where I was walking right across the river where they were doing that. I was investigating because I am a journalist. I even saw a floating yellow cloth that I know was used for that purpose and it symbolizes that another life has ended. I don't know if I continued to publish the story but I remember how heavy it was inside what was happening in that place so I may not have continued. Although I have an understanding that the kids did it with dignity and without resentment based on the interview I conducted with one or more people who live there.

Just today, I asked chatGPT if there was such an incident in the past. Maybe it was recorded in history so I took a chance. But there was none. Although it made me think because chatGPT said, maybe because the poverty of that place didn't reach any media, but if I had gone there as a journalist, I might not have continued to publish the story because of the heavy weight I felt. When I woke up, I still felt the pain about what was happening in that place and how they embraced that way of dealing with poverty. He also said, dreams are products of our subconscious minds but where did that concept come from in my mind? It's so original, never heard of it. Also, the course of events is so on point or so complete that it's like a sentence completes the thought. That's how it is.

I don't believe in reincarnation or past life though. I just really want to share this. I have another dream that happened when I was a kid but it's still super vivid to this day but I'll share it next time because it's already too long.

P.S. I tried sharing this through Spookify on Facebook but they never posted it nor did they respond to me. This happened in 2023. I wasn’t that aware of Reddit yet. Glad I still have a copy in my notes app on my phone and that I can finally share it now.

Do attractive proper men actually get ghosted online? I’m curious. If being ghosted online is common, how common is it actually for attractive, proper men? I’m talking about those who don’t use dating apps just to send and receive nudes. I’m talking about those who are genuinely respectful and wonderful human beings. If you’re one of them, have you experienced it?

Do attractive proper men actually get ghosted online? I’m curious. If being ghosted online is common, how common is it actually for attractive, proper men? I’m talking about those who don’t use dating apps just to send and receive nudes. I’m talking about those who are genuinely respectful and wonderful human beings. If you’re one of them, have you experienced it?

Do attractive proper men actually get ghosted online? I’m curious. If being ghosted online is common, how common is it actually for attractive, proper men? I’m talking about those who don’t use dating apps just to send and receive nudes. I’m talking about those who are genuinely respectful and wonderful human beings. If you’re one of them, have you experienced it?

Hi there! I’m new to Playwright and I’m currently working on an automation project. I just want to ask about the best practice when abstracting using POM. How do you decide if something needs abstraction? Because currently, if a locator or action is only used once, my instinct is to not include them in the abstraction or the POM. Is that the right way to go about it? Thank you so much!

I met a Czech guy on a dating app about two weeks ago. We live on opposite sides of the world, but his location was set to a city in my country when we matched.

During the first week, I found his communication style a bit inconsistent. He would sometimes disappear for a while without saying anything, so I told him directly that I prefer more consistent and predictable communication. I didn’t make any demands—I simply said that if he wanted to continue talking, great, and if not, I had enjoyed getting to know him.

To my surprise, he chose to continue and actually adjusted. Since then, he’s been noticeably more consistent and sometimes even gives a heads-up when he’s busy.

The confusing part is that on weekends he seems less available, yet I regularly see him active on the dating app more often than I see him active in our chat. We don’t text in real time, but we do exchange fairly long messages and usually reply hours later.

I’ve been clear that I’m looking for something serious. Instead of backing away, he told me he’s looking for something serious too, while also saying that “online is hard” and that maintaining interest long-distance can be difficult.

I’m not expecting exclusivity after two weeks, and I know we’re still getting to know each other. I’m mostly trying to understand the mindset here. If someone is looking for something serious but believes online dating is difficult, why intentionally set their location to a country thousands of miles away and invest in a connection there?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from Czech people or anyone familiar with Czech dating culture.

How do you handle getting to know someone from a dating app while they’re still heavily active on the app themselves?

I know technically we’re both still active since we met there, and we’ve only been talking for two weeks, so I understand exclusivity isn’t expected yet. But at what point do you know you’re not just emotionally investing in someone who’s simultaneously exploring a lot of other options?

This guy has explicitly told me he’s interested in me and wants to continue getting to know me. We text a lot (despite delayed responses because of work/time difference), we’ve video called already, and after I expressed discomfort about recurring disappearances and unpredictability in communication, he actually addressed it and has been trying to communicate more consistently since then.

He basically told me he wants to continue talking but also wants me to feel comfortable with the dynamic.

The thing is, I still see him very active on the app and even changing locations. I honestly don’t know how normal that is in online dating culture because I’m not someone who enjoys talking to multiple people once I start genuinely liking someone.

I’m not asking for exclusivity after two weeks. I just genuinely want to understand how people approach this stage without overinvesting or wasting emotional energy.

So I’ve been texting with a guy from Czech for a week now. We immediately transferred to Telegram after just a few curtsy messages on OKC. I sent him the intro and he responded. The profile has nothing much so the blame must be on me, but I liked his smile and I mostly have the same number of pics which is 2. So I think it wasn’t necessarily suspicious even if the other picture is of a random place. I’m from the Philippines. His location was set to Manila because he said he’s coming in 2 months which again is not suspicious. He’s very sensible when he disappears and always apologizes, and he’s not always on his phone so we only ever talk once a day. He knows I’m currently unemployed. Lol. So I think that’s kinda weird for him to want to continue talking if he’s catfishing me or trying to gauge my trust for a later fraudulent tactic. He’s mentioned learning programming and I’ve been talking with him in jargons so I know when someone is pretending. But then, it won’t be hard to look it up online for its meaning. Lol. Then eventually told me he’s working on an app but he’s currently on the planning/designing stage. When I asked him what the app is, he said it’s gonna be about investment. I felt excited for him because I’m trying to work on a project too. When I asked him what kind of investment it would be like is it for forex, stock market, or cypto, he didn’t answer. And he actually hasn’t mentioned the project again since then. I’m just on edge because I have this theory that he might just be gauging my trust before mentioning it again. Or really? How long do they wait before they do the scamming? But it’s also possible I’m just being paranoid, I know. And it’s not like I won’t be able to tell eventually, but I’m just really growing more interested in this guy and I might just be wasting my time. When I told him I’m unemployed, he even told me at least I can relax or that it might be stressful for me. But I do have my employment status on OKC set to freelancer since that’s mostly the situation anyway, I’m an independent contractor. But he didn’t even know my height when we’re already talking on Telegram even when it’s set on my profile. I had to tell him about it and to check on my profile, then later, he told me he just checked and even converted my height to cm just so he could have a mental picture of me in comparison to his height. But then it’s also possible that he missed my height the moment he saw that I’m a freelancer and so decided to respond to my bio. He’s also missed days on texting me a few times this week and it’s not like I’m asking him to text me all the time, of course not. I know our time difference and he told me he has less time for himself because of his job. He lives in Prague, sent me a picture. We’ve also exchanged some pictures of ourselves. I expressed my discomfort with the communication dynamic because I’m trying to be intentional on who I spend my energy and time on. I told him if he wanted to continue, then he has to tell me and if not, that it was nice talking to him. He expressed desire to continue but he told me it’s up to me because he wants me to feel comfortable. Ultimately, I decided to continue until I’ve had to read a post on here talking about catfish and scams that ask for investment. Just because of the word “investment” that he only brought up once, I’m being this paranoid. Sorry, too long. Please tell me what you think! Thank you!