u/ThrowRAnewmama22

If your coparent offered you more parenting time and you wanted it, but you have to wait 1 year to go back and modify the parenting time schedule, what would you do?

If your coparent offered you more parenting time and you wanted it, but you have to wait 1 year to go back and modify the parenting time schedule, what would you do?

If your coparent offered you more parenting time and you wanted it, but you have to wait 1 year to go back and modify the parenting time schedule, what would you do?

My ex-husband and I went through a very drawn-out custody battle. He's a very controlling person and loves to use threats and physical intimidation to get his way. He was abusive during our marriage. We had an 80/20 parenting schedule for 2 years during the divorce process, with me having the 80%.

During the last couple years, his work schedule changed quite a few times, and when he found out he would be off every Friday, he demanded that he get every single Friday with our toddler. I felt this was unreasonable. I do all the school pick up/drop offs, all the appointments, her speech therapy, all the non-fun stuff a normal parent should do, and he just wants the fun times only. I wanted to be able to have a longer weekend, too, but he didn't care. I fought for 80% because he's not a safe, reliable, or stable person.

He threatened to take me to trial for 50/50 if I didn't give him his every single Friday. In the end, the judge gave him every Friday, and I got everything else I asked for. I now have 75% and he has 25%. On his weekends, he picks her up from school (or my house in the summer) at 10:30am. and keeps her for his weekend. On the Fridays before my weekend, he still picks her up at 10:30 am, but then I drive 30-40 minutes to pick her up that evening at 6:00pm for my weekend. Final orders were given 3 months ago.

I just received a text from him requesting a parenting time change. He now has to work every single Friday and can't pick her up at 10:30am. He's suggesting that she stay with me until he gets off work and picks her up at 4:00pm. It's so frustrating because he demanded every Friday and I knew this would happen. I replied back that I am open to changing the schedule, but instead, I think we should drop the Friday pick up that is before my weekend. Why have him pick-up at 4pm and drive her 30-40 minutes to his home, to then have me drive out there and pick up at 6:00pm and then drive our child back to my house another 30-40 minutes. The back and forth is too much. I agreed to keep her until 4pm on his Fridays, but drop the short visitation on the Fridays before my weekend.

He said, "I'm not giving up any Fridays if that's what you're suggesting. I can pick her up every Friday at 4pm."

The audacity is mind-blowing, but I can't say I'm surprised. I'm really struggling with what to do. Am I wrong for asking to drop the 2 hour back and forth visit on the Friday before my weekend?

My ex-husband and I went through a very drawn-out custody battle. He's a very controlling person and loves to use threats and physical intimidation to get his way. He was abusive during our marriage. We had an 80/20 parenting schedule for 2 years during the divorce process, with me having the 80%.

During the last couple years, his work schedule changed quite a few times, and when he found out he would be off every Friday, he demanded that he get every single Friday with our toddler. I felt this was unreasonable. I do all the school pick up/drop offs, all the appointments, her speech therapy, all the non-fun stuff a normal parent should do, and he just wants the fun times only. I wanted to be able to have a longer weekend, too, but he didn't care. I fought for 80% because he's not a safe, reliable, or stable person.

He threatened to take me to trial for 50/50 if I didn't give him his every single Friday. In the end, the judge gave him every Friday, and I got everything else I asked for. I now have 75% and he has 25%. On his weekends, he picks her up from school (or my house in the summer) at 10:30am. and keeps her for his weekend. On the Fridays before my weekend, he still picks her up at 10:30 am, but then I drive 30-40 minutes to pick her up that evening at 6:00pm for my weekend. Final orders were given 3 months ago.

I just received a text from him requesting a parenting time change. He now has to work every single Friday and can't pick her up at 10:30am. He's suggesting that she stay with me until he gets off work and picks her up at 4:00pm. It's so frustrating because he demanded every Friday and I knew this would happen. I replied back that I am open to changing the schedule, but instead, I think we should drop the Friday pick up that is before my weekend. Why have him pick-up at 4pm and drive her 30-40 minutes to his home, to then have me drive out there and pick up at 6:00pm and then drive our child back to my house another 30-40 minutes. The back and forth is too much. I agreed to keep her until 4pm on his Fridays, but drop the short visitation on the Fridays before my weekend.

He said, "I'm not giving up any Fridays if that's what you're suggesting. I can pick her up every Friday at 4pm."

The audacity is mind-blowing, but I can't say I'm surprised. I'm really struggling with what to do.

My ex-husband and I went through a very drawn-out custody battle. He's a very controlling person and loves to use threats and physical intimidation to get his way. He was abusive during our marriage. We had an 80/20 parenting schedule for 2 years during the divorce process, with me having the 80%.

During the last couple years, his work schedule changed quite a few times, and when he found out he would be off every Friday, he demanded that he get every single Friday with our toddler. I felt this was unreasonable. I do all the school pick up/drop offs, all the appointments, her speech therapy, all the non-fun stuff a normal parent should do, and he just wants the fun times only. I wanted to be able to have a longer weekend, too, but he didn't care. I fought for 80% because he's not a safe, reliable, or stable person.

He threatened to take me to trial for 50/50 if I didn't give him his every single Friday. In the end, the judge gave him every Friday, and I got everything else I asked for. I now have 75% and he has 25%. On his weekends, he picks her up from school (or my house in the summer) at 10:30am. and keeps her for his weekend. On the Fridays before my weekend, he still picks her up at 10:30 am, but then I drive 30-40 minutes to pick her up that evening at 6:00pm for my weekend. Final orders were given 3 months ago.

I just received a text from him requesting a parenting time change. He now has to work every single Friday and can't pick her up at 10:30am. He's suggesting that she stay with me until he gets off work and picks her up at 4:00pm. It's so frustrating because he demanded every Friday and I knew this would happen. I replied back that I am open to changing the schedule, but instead, I think we should drop the Friday pick up that is before my weekend. Why have him pick-up at 4pm and drive her 30-40 minutes to his home, to then have me drive out there and pick up at 6:00pm and then drive our child back to my house another 30-40 minutes. The back and forth is too much. I agreed to keep her until 4pm on his Fridays, but drop the short visitation on the Fridays before my weekend.

He said, "I'm not giving up any Fridays if that's what you're suggesting. I can pick her up every Friday at 4pm."

The audacity is mind-blowing, but I can't say I'm surprised. I'm really struggling with what to do.

My ex-husband and I went through a very drawn-out custody battle. He's a very controlling person and loves to use threats and physical intimidation to get his way. He was abusive during our marriage. We had an 80/20 parenting schedule for 2 years during the divorce process, with me having the 80%.

During the last couple years, his work schedule changed quite a few times, and when he found out he would be off every Friday, he demanded that he get every single Friday with our toddler. I felt this was unreasonable. I do all the school pick up/drop offs, all the appointments, her speech therapy, all the non-fun stuff a normal parent should do, and he just wants the fun times only. I wanted to be able to have a longer weekend, too, but he didn't care. I fought for 80% because he's not a safe, reliable, or stable person.

He threatened to take me to trial for 50/50 if I didn't give him his every single Friday. In the end, the judge gave him every Friday, and I got everything else I asked for. I now have 75% and he has 25%. On his weekends, he picks her up from school (or my house in the summer) at 10:30am. and keeps her for his weekend. On the Fridays before my weekend, he still picks her up at 10:30 am, but then I drive 30-40 minutes to pick her up that evening at 6:00pm for my weekend. Final orders were given 3 months ago.

I just received a text from him requesting a parenting time change. He now has to work every single Friday and can't pick her up at 10:30am. He's suggesting that she stay with me until he gets off work and picks her up at 4:00pm. It's so frustrating because he demanded every Friday and I knew this would happen. I replied back that I am open to changing the schedule, but instead, I think we should drop the Friday pick up that is before my weekend. Why have him pick-up at 4pm and drive her 30-40 minutes to his home, to then have me drive out there and pick up at 6:00pm and then drive our child back to my house another 30-40 minutes. The back and forth is too much. I agreed to keep her until 4pm on his Fridays, but drop the short visitation on the Fridays before my weekend.

He said, "I'm not giving up any Fridays if that's what you're suggesting. I can pick her up every Friday at 4pm."

The audacity is mind-blowing, but I can't say I'm surprised. I'm really struggling with what to do.

It's wonderful news that Arizona FINALLY updated the laws regarding custody and domestic violence. It's absolutely devastating, though, that it took something so tragic in order for things to change. My heart goes out to those precious babies and the family for what they went through, but what incredible strength that Mama had for fighting for change! Praying for them ❤️

Has anyone considered trying to go back and modify their custody orders since this law just passed? My custody battle just ended a couple of months ago, and unfortunately, I couldn't bring up my history of DV because my lawyer said the judge would not care since he never laid hands on our child. Also, she said the bar was pretty high. I needed to have an active restraining order, medical records, or physical abuse, or he had to be incarcerated for DV to matter to a judge. All I had was a completed DV program he did years ago before our child was born, 1 audio recording, and a detailed journal of years of threats, intimidation, damaged property, verbal/emotional abuse, coercive control, etc from before and after our child was born. I still feel like it won't be enough. Currently, I have 75% custody, and we have to share legal decision-making. I'm wondering if that's still the best outcome vs. trying to modify.

Is anyone else in the same headspace?

It's wonderful news that Arizona FINALLY updated the laws regarding custody and domestic violence. It's absolutely devastating, though, that it took something so tragic in order for things to change. My heart goes out to those precious babies and the family for what they went through, but what incredible strength that Mama had for fighting for change! Praying for them ❤️

Has anyone considered trying to go back and modify their custody orders since this law just passed? My custody battle just ended a couple of months ago, and unfortunately, I couldn't bring up my history of DV because my lawyer said the judge would not care since he never laid hands on our child. Also, she said the bar was pretty high. I needed to have an active restraining order, medical records, or physical abuse, or he had to be incarcerated for DV to matter to a judge. All I had was a completed DV program he did years ago before our child was born, 1 audio recording, and a detailed journal of years of threats, intimidation, damaged property, verbal/emotional abuse, coercive control, etc from before and after our child was born. I still feel like it won't be enough. Currently, I have 75% custody, and we have to share legal decision-making. I'm wondering if that's still the best outcome vs. trying to modify.

Is anyone else in the same headspace?

It's wonderful news that Arizona FINALLY updated the laws regarding custody and domestic violence. It's absolutely devastating, though, that it took something so tragic in order for things to change. My heart goes out to those precious babies and the family for what they went through, but what incredible strength that Mama had for fighting for change! Praying for them ❤️

Has anyone considered trying to go back and modify their custody orders since this law just passed? My custody battle just ended a couple of months ago, and unfortunately, I couldn't bring up my history of DV because my lawyer said the judge would not care since he never laid hands on our child. Also, she said the bar was pretty high. I needed to have an active restraining order, medical records, or physical abuse, or he had to be incarcerated for DV to matter to a judge. All I had was a completed DV program he did years ago before our child was born, 1 audio recording, and a detailed journal of years of threats, intimidation, damaged property, verbal/emotional abuse, coercive control, etc from before and after our child was born. I still feel like it won't be enough. Currently, I have 75% custody, and we have to share legal decision-making. I'm wondering if that's still the best outcome vs. trying to modify.

Is anyone else in the same headspace?

It's wonderful news that Arizona FINALLY updated the laws regarding custody and domestic violence. It's absolutely devastating, though, that it took something so tragic in order for things to change. My heart goes out to those precious babies and the family for what they went through, but what incredible strength that Mama had for fighting for change! Praying for them ❤️

Has anyone considered trying to go back and modify their custody orders since this law just passed? My custody battle just ended a couple of months ago, and unfortunately, I couldn't bring up my history of DV because my lawyer said the judge would not care since he never laid hands on our child. Also, she said the bar was pretty high. I needed to have an active restraining order, medical records, or physical abuse, or he had to be incarcerated for DV to matter to a judge. All I had was a completed DV program he did years ago before our child was born, 1 audio recording, and a detailed journal of years of threats, intimidation, damaged property, verbal/emotional abuse, coercive control, etc from before and after our child was born. I still feel like it won't be enough. Currently, I have 75% custody, and we have to share legal decision-making. I'm wondering if that's still the best outcome vs. trying to modify.

Is anyone else in the same headspace?