I feel like I've spent ages researching and before I throw my hands in the air and order, does anyone have experience with diamond flurry lux and would you recommend it? If not what would you personally recommend instead?
Can someone more knowledgeable give me some insight on the problems of evil in the world, past and present. I believe most people are good, and that at the end of it all we will meet again in one way or another. But I have such a hard time understanding somethings and how someone could even think to do them.
Slavery being a big thought problem im having. How did people think it was ok? Did people actually believe it was entirely normal? Im a live and let live sort of person, so long as you arent harming anyone or yourself, or making your problems someone else's problem. I cant understand how people could do it. I also dont get rasicsm. Were all people right? Why do differences in physical appearance make any difference? So long as you are a decent person, isnt that all that matters?
Im just struggling with the thought of it all and I dont know how to reconcile it. How can those who've done such evil meet again in an afterlife if they believe humans arent all, well, human?
What do you think about there being parallel universes where and infinite number of ourselfves would exist? What would this mean for "us?" As in, would that mean we as an individual exist elsewhere?
I cant wrap my mind around it. I believe in the individuality of each person, but the thought of "me" existing somewhere else doesn't make sense. That person would not actually be "me" then would it?
I saw something stating that those parallel selves have impact on our lives. That makes zero sense to me aswell. To me this whole thing messes with my thoughts of spirituality. Is there actual scientific backing to parallel universes?
Edit: I forgot to add, the whole quantum mechanics thing has me utterly confused aswell.
It seems like everytime I'm almost happy, that my mind wanders. It's like I have this guilt that comes over me and I just think "if there are people out there dying, why should I be happy. Is it wrong to be happy because there are innocent people who are tortured, starving, living in a war zone, or even killed all of a sudden, and I'm not any of those things."
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I'm at an impasse. I dont feel like im allowed to truly live. Like if I live my life happy and enjoying what I have and the things around me, that I'm a bad person. I saw an animated clip of two happy people getting engaged and then its all taken away in an instant as a mushroom cloud forms in the window. I think about the people that has happened to and I just wonder if it's ok for me to be happy.
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And what makes less sense is that if I look at people out being happy, having money to spend and live on - not just on necessities but on fun and things that bring them happiness, I dont think of them as selfish for doing so. I dont look at them as terrible for having all they could ever want and more. It actually makes me smile to know people have a lot. That they are truly living life to its fullest. People that get to travel the world and just enjoy life, then get to come back home to a loving home, a good job, and nice things with their family, well I think that's wonderful. But why cant I think its wonderful for myself? It's as if I'm guilty for the things I should be greatful for because everyone doesn't have them? If that makes sense. But if someone has more than me I think thats awesome for them
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I know people say, "go out and do this or that and you will feel better" but I wont. I'm no philanthropist, thats just not something I was born to be (most people arent if were being honest), and I feel so incredibly guilty because of that. When all you can see in the world is the horrible things that arent even right in front of you and you look up and see all the wonderful things that are right there in your life for you to love, but those horrible things that could be happening at anyplace at anytime creep into the back of your mind and ruin the peace you should have, what do you even do? How do you cope with it, with knowing the world is both terrible and wonderful, yet you cant seem to enjoy that wonder because of the bad?
What should I do? What can I do to overcome this? Can anyone that relates give me some tips?
Edit: added a sentence
I have come to a conclusion: 90% of my ocd subjects are big picture things, out of my control. I get so far in my head that I dont realize that these things, whether they effect me or not, are not front and center things in my life. They wouldn't even be something I worried about if I didnt have ocd, even if that makes me a bad person. It would be one of those "nothing I can do about it" thoughts if ocd didnt latch on and take the wheel.
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Climate change, life after death(which I believe in, but my ocd still makes me doubt), whether I'm a bad person for not doing politics or volunteering or being part of the community that I just have no interest in, focusing on the less fortunate or feeling guilty for having more than them in ANY way, whether a war will break out or a parasite from a foreign land has made its way over and will cause me to go blind, if things we have now are bad because we didnt have them in past human history(this one is just weird, what does my brain want? Me to be amish? An off grid survivalist? I dont want that), whether I have an inevitable genetic disease, past mistakes that I can't change, people saying buying things will be "future landfill", being a terrible person, not living up to the "big dreams" everyone tells you to have when you dont have any, but feeling that you've failed because you are not a big deal like a Healthcare worker or some kind of hero- that you didnt live up to your "potential", that was a lot but the list goes on and on. I wouldn't worry about these things at all if it weren't for this disease. I feel like I would be able to truly live my own life instead of worrying about everything.
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I truly think it would be better if I just lived in my own little bubble, not thinking about anything and everything, and just enjoying the slice of world that I live in, even if that does makes me selfish, I have to be ok with that. No news, no social media, no doom, gloom, dread, and fear mongering. No media at all. Just as much peace as I can give myself. I may have to try that as best I can. Just telling myself, it's ok not to be a hero, it's ok to live not as the main character and being happy as an extra isn't wrong, it cant be, and if someone tells me that it is wrong, maybe I should agree with them, and keep doing it anyway. Just living for the sake of living is ok.
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I simply want a normal life. One where I dont worry about what's going on in the world. I simply cannot change what others do so I want to live this life without anxiety. I am no activist, thats not something I was made for and I'm so tired of being tired. Tired that people push you and want you to do these things and tell you that you are bad if you dont. I am no philanthropist, I wasn't made for that. It's time I stop caring about things, especially those that I have little to no control over, and just exist in peace.
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There was a time I didnt worry, I just lived life. If only I could go back to that.
I have come to a conclusion: 90% of my ocd subjects are big picture things, out of my control. I get so far in my head that I dont realize that these things, whether they effect me or not, are not front and center things in my life. They wouldn't even be something I worried about if I didnt have ocd, even if that makes me a bad person. It would be one of those "nothing I can do about it" thoughts if ocd didnt latch on and take the wheel.
Climate change, life after death(which I believe in, but my ocd still makes me doubt), whether I'm a bad person for not doing politics or volunteering, whether a war will break out or a parasite from a foreign land has made its way over and will cause me to go blind, if things we have now are bad because we didnt have them in past human history(this one is just weird, what does my brain want? Me to be amish? An off grid survivalist? I dont want that), whether I have an inevitable genetic disease, past mistakes that I can't change, being a terrible person, not living up to the "big dreams" everyone tells you to have when you dont have any and we're always happy with how things were, but feeling that you've failed because you are not a big deal like a Healthcare worker or some kind of hero- that you didnt live up to your "potential", the list goes on. I wouldn't worry about these things at all if it weren't for this disease. I feel like I would be able to truly live my own life instead of worrying about everything.
I truly think it would be better if I just lived in my own little bubble, not thinking about anything and everything, and just enjoying the slice of world that I live in, even if that does makes me selfish, I have to be ok with that. No news, no social media, no doom, gloom, dread, and fear mongering. No media at all. Just as much peace as I can give myself. I may have to try that as best I can. Just telling myself, it's ok not to be a hero, it's ok to live not as the main character and being happy as an extra isn't wrong, it cant be, and if someone tells me that it is wrong, maybe I should agree with them, and keep doing it anyway.
There was a time I didnt worry, I just lived life. If only I could go back to that.
This is duchess and she is an enigma. She is a third generation of silkie that I have personally bred. Maybe someone can help me out with her color.
He grand parents are a cuckoo silkie roo to a black silkie hen. I kept a cuckoo silkie roo from that pair and bred it so a mottled satin hen.
A little more info on the grandroo he looked to be (double barred)- I bred him to a jersey giant and ended up with a white rooster and cuckoo hen. (I was working on a breeding project that I have since scrapped) I bred those two together to get silked offspring to then outcross. From that pairing I got 3 white roos and a solid black silked hen. I asked around and it was thought that those males had to have all been ghost barred since no barring could be seen but they should have had barring.
And now for this newest hatch between the single barred father roo and mottled satin hen. I dont know the hens lineage since I got her from hatching eggs (dawson silkies is where I got them), but I hatched out 10 chicks along with I ne chick not making it out of egg. Of those 9(including the unhatched one, we're either black or cuckoo, which is exactly what I expected, but 2 hatched out white-ish. One satin and one silkie.
I ended up not keeping the satin, but I had to hang on to this interesting girl. And she is a girl, I had her dna tested. I have not clue what color she is or how whatever her color is, is even possible. Any insight from someone who understands better than me?
Edit: I should specify that this chick has no jersey giant in her. That was just a project I was starting because I wanted to make a breed for myself and I planned to bring in several different breeds to get to where I wanted with the breed (which is how every breed is made), but because of limited space and that being the only thing I would be able to focus on because of not enough space for creating an entire breed, I scrapped it in the second generation.
And here's a little bit of info on satins: Satin and silkie information
My ocd "subject" will change as time goes. The last one was the whether or not I was wrong for eating meat and health related things. Now I unfortunately have a new one, climate change. I feel like I can barely breathe anymore because of it. Every step I take I question if I'm doing wrong. Im to the point where I'm stressed at using power at all.
Watching tv? Im causing climate change.
Owning the car I need to drive to work? Morally horrible human who sickens their self.
Running a fan when its hot? Absolute abomination
I cant even enjoy basic everyday things right now. Lotion? Unnecessary waste. A fun little collectible, which I love? Pointless. "Don't drink that bottle of water. non natural stuff cant be good for the environment. Etc" it's getting to be way too much to think about, and I think too deeply about things for my own good.
On top of that, social media/media in general is so loud and negative. It feels like a cesspool of doom and gloom and it justs feels like it's purpose is to make you miserable and dislike life.
I get to the point where all I want is ignorance, because this is too much. Like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders and every micro move I make will doom us all.
"You're just one person" "no im the problem"
I see people going back and forth about whether or not they can or cannot do anything and at this point, I just want peace. I feel like ignoring climate change is the best thing I can do for my own wellbeing, because otherwise I am going to freak out. I spent what I feel like is hours looking around the internet for anything to tell me it was ok for me to just not think about climate change so I can just keep living, but I end up finding very angry people talking about how horrible I would be for that and it's so exhausting. I feel as though I have ruined the enjoyment of life for myself now and I will never get it back.
I dont know what to do at this point. I just want to go back in time 1-2 weeks before I ever even thought about climate change so I could avoid this subject all together. It's been a rough one
Edit: spelling
Or do you think there's some other reason? Not having a personal experience maybe?
And do you think there's any science behind them at all? That they could either be explained away or proven true with science?
Yesterday I was sitting at my work desk and I turned my head to the right, bent down, leaned forward, and tilted it to the right as well (I was trying to look at something on the wall). And then I stood up to help a customer and noticed my left ear had a sort of echo in it? When I spoke it was like it was just off somehow. Theres a slight deep ringing aswell. Its been 24 hours and its still there.
Will it go away? Did I do something when I turned my head?
I've noticed over the course of the last couple years browsing this sub that I havent really seen anyone who thinks about spirituality in the way I do.
I do not believe we are god or that everyone is one. All connected, maybe, but I dont see us at the universe experiencing itself at all.
I do not think that eating meat is bad. I believe in the circle of life. If we completely take factory farming out of the equation, I see nothing wrong with animal products. Sure, there are times I doubt myself with absolutely everything I do, including eating meat and keeping pets (I have ocd, so that's the reason for that), but if I sit down and really put thought into it, I dont see it negatively. Sure there are negative aspects to everything in life sadly, no matter what side you're on, but black and white thinking really hurts us in our lives.
I do believe there is something more than this life. Be it reincarnation or another realm such as a heaven. But I dont believe in an eternal hell. In my eyes, we are so we always will be, in one for or another. And I do believe in NDEs and some of the experiences people have had with them. I also believe that there is probably someone out there listening. Though I am not religious, I do pray to them before bed, and I believe they may just be able to hear me.
There is one thing I still havent been able to figure out how I feel about. Souls. I believe in souls of course, but I cant figure out if there are different types of souls. Does each ant in that nest of ants have a soul? Are they all more of a hive minded thing? Does my cat have a different type of soul than my chickens? I do wonder about this regularly and I probably will never figure it out.
But thats the main points of how I feel. I know this post may feel pointless to many, and I'm sure it will get down voted very badly, but thats ok. I wanted to share my thoughts, and maybe there's some of you out there that feel the way I do, maybe not. I would love to hear your thoughts.
What do you think about eating meat? Ive never had a problem with it personally (circle of life and all), but I do think about it occasionally. What's your personal opinion? (And yes, I adore animals, no matter what Billie eillish has to say on the matter)
I posted a few months back about this girl here: https://www.reddit.com/r/chickens/s/GnjPwFb9Nb
and I just cant figure out whats going on with her. She walks with her back end low to the ground, but otherwise gets along and gets around just fine.
It's nothing contagious because my 40 other chickens are perfectly fine. I thought it was heart failure and attempted to drain her belly with no luck. Im at a loss here, any clues?
Who would you be without ocd? Did you think you would still be "you" or do you think without it that you would be so different that you would be unrecognizable as the same person?
Would your feelings get hurt as easily? Would you have a different personality entirely? Would all that be replaced by someone else? Likes and dislikes? Reactions? Anything inbetween? It's such a perplexing question that I'm not sure what the answer could possibly be.
I just saw a vudeo of a woman who had a traumatic brain injury and how different she was compared to before the injury. It got me thinking, is she still the same person at this point? Is her consciousness the same as it was before and she just cant use her body the way she wants, or os she just entirely different now?
Edit to add: Do they recognize that they are not the same as they used to be or is there a disconnect there and they dont see their past self as themself anymore? And does anyone go back to being themself again?
I just learned that repeated exposure to methylisothiazolinone can cause contact skin allergies. How does that make any sense if it's in soaps we use all day everyday?
Definitely I know a mask should be worn, but what about goggles?
Definitely I know a mask should be worn, but what about goggles?
I just saw a video of a pigeon owner warning people about bird fanciers lung and now it has me a bit anxious.