u/Tokalasart

Okay so Idek where to start exactly. I always saw myself as the stereotypical cis girl ally. XD And then my (aroace) roommate came around the corner and told me about asexuality and since then (half a year) I've been wondering if it fits me. At first I wasn't sure, but I cannot really define how sexual attraction feels like. Heck, I didn't even know what arousal feels like. When I think about crushes I mostly want to spend time with them talking or stuff, sex was always more a thing people in relationships do. (It took me embarrassingly long to realize they do it just like that for fun too.) I like the label, I feel it fits me, but I also feel guilty for using it, because I am just not SURE. I do find people hot, but do I mean the same as allo people?? I have no reference, what is sexual attraction supposed to feel like? I kind of don't want to intrude in a community I don't belong to, so now I am questioning every interaction. And I feel like there could be something down there, but then again I am really focused on it at the moment. And sometimes I get like flashes of images and I didn't before, it makes me anxious and I hate it and I want them gone. On a side note, the thought of my future partner wanting sex from me both sounds nice and sickening. I am somewhat curious about sex in theory, but it's just very confusing when I try to apply it to real life. Also I am very much disgusted by the thought of doing a blowjob, if, then someone else touching me, but I have no desire to touch sb elses genitalia. At least not with my hands or mouth. Also my apologies, this was probably tmi 😭

So I've been wondering about this. I am pretty sure I am allo, because I think I've had crushes (maybe more like one or two crazy ones) before, but if I think about it it's hard to tell what exactly makes the feelings romantic.

Like I am a cis girl, I've basically been raised with the expectation of one day marrying a man and having kids and I've already thrown the idea of kids out the window, cus I am really bad with children and I certainly don't want those. So now I am wondering how much of what I experience is just social conditioning and what are actual romantic feelings. Especially since it sometimes feels as if my feelings towards friends are romantic too. Logically, where is the difference?? On top of that queerplatonic relationships sound incredibly nice too

Yeah, I think I just wanted to vent that XD (I am also questioning being ace, so I am a bit all over the place rn)

I have wanted a pair of good plateau boots, preferably overknee, but not necessarily, for some time now, but I have literally no idea where to get them. Does anyone have advice on what brands are good and which ones to avoid?

I am also open to DIY, but I have never done anything like that before, so I would probably need some kind of tutorial or more detailed instructions XD

Oh, and they would be for like occasional wear. Not daily, but neither just special events.

Thanks in advance for any answers!