u/Top-Suspect-8099

I’m 18, female, and in college. A lot of people from my high school ended up at the same university, so I still see people who graduated before me pretty often.
There are three people involved in this situation. First, Anna. She’s one year older than me, and we didn’t really know each other in high school. We might have said hi a few times, but that’s it. Now we have a class together, and she’s actually the one who introduced me to her friend group. I currently have a crush on her. Then there’s Emma, who is also one year older and in my major. We played soccer together for a few years, and we’ve gotten closer recently. Lastly, there’s Messi, who is my childhood friend. Our families are close, although we don’t see each other much anymore since she studies outside Puerto Rico. My cousin is still very close to her and is the one who tells me things.
For context, everyone involved is into girls. I’m bisexual, Emma is probably bisexual, Anna says she doesn’t like labels but is attracted to girls, and Messi is a lesbian.
Here’s where things get complicated. Apparently, back in high school, Messi and Emma were secretly together on and off the whole time. During that same period, Messi had a crush on me but never acted on it because she didn’t like that she felt that way. Also, Emma initially didn’t like me, but that eventually turned into a crush. Nothing ever happened, though, because of her situation with Messi. I had no idea about any of this at the time.
Now in college, I joined Anna’s friend group, since she introduced me. As I got closer to her, I started developing feelings and even thought about confessing. I asked my cousin to subtly find out through Messi if Anna might like me. Instead, I found out that Anna’s feelings are unclear—she “doesn’t know.” But on the same day, Emma had apparently told Messi that she likes me, although she doesn’t want to make things awkward.
Now I feel really confused. I’ve liked Anna for a while. She’s more shy, but we’ve had moments like studying one-on-one, sitting really close, even touching legs sometimes, and she’s asked me about my past relationships. I feel like there might be something there, but I’m not sure if I’m just reading into it. On the other hand, Emma and I have always been more naturally comfortable and touchy, and I used to have a crush on her before. Now that I know she likes me, I feel like my feelings for her might be coming back, or getting stronger.
So I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should go for Anna, who I’ve liked for longer but might not like me back, or Emma, who I know likes me, but I’m not sure how strong my feelings actually are.
What would you do?

I’m 18, female, and in college. A lot of people from my high school ended up at the same university, so I still see people who graduated before me pretty often.
There are three people involved in this situation. First, Anna. She’s one year older than me, and we didn’t really know each other in high school. We might have said hi a few times, but that’s it. Now we have a class together, and she’s actually the one who introduced me to her friend group. I currently have a crush on her. Then there’s Emma, who is also one year older and in my major. We played soccer together for a few years, and we’ve gotten closer recently. Lastly, there’s Messi, who is my childhood friend. Our families are close, although we don’t see each other much anymore since she studies outside Puerto Rico. My cousin is still very close to her and is the one who tells me things.
For context, everyone involved is into girls. I’m bisexual, Emma is probably bisexual, Anna says she doesn’t like labels but is attracted to girls, and Messi is a lesbian.
Here’s where things get complicated. Apparently, back in high school, Messi and Emma were secretly together on and off the whole time. During that same period, Messi had a crush on me but never acted on it because she didn’t like that she felt that way. Also, Emma initially didn’t like me, but that eventually turned into a crush. Nothing ever happened, though, because of her situation with Messi. I had no idea about any of this at the time.
Now in college, I joined Anna’s friend group, since she introduced me. As I got closer to her, I started developing feelings and even thought about confessing. I asked my cousin to subtly find out through Messi if Anna might like me. Instead, I found out that Anna’s feelings are unclear—she “doesn’t know.” But on the same day, Emma had apparently told Messi that she likes me, although she doesn’t want to make things awkward.
Now I feel really confused. I’ve liked Anna for a while. She’s more shy, but we’ve had moments like studying one-on-one, sitting really close, even touching legs sometimes, and she’s asked me about my past relationships. I feel like there might be something there, but I’m not sure if I’m just reading into it. On the other hand, Emma and I have always been more naturally comfortable and touchy, and I used to have a crush on her before. Now that I know she likes me, I feel like my feelings for her might be coming back, or getting stronger.
So I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should go for Anna, who I’ve liked for longer but might not like me back, or Emma, who I know likes me, but I’m not sure how strong my feelings actually are.
What would you do?

im 18. my mom passed when i was around 12. the day it happened i got told a lot at once : stuff that happened to her when she was 15, that she got diagnosed bipolar later in life, that she was on pills and had convulsions, and that she eventually accidentally overdosed.

6 years later im still not okay with it. it shows up in my mood and how i think about who i am as a person. i also have real questions about whether bipolar runs in families and what that means for me.

the hard part is my dad doesnt believe she actually had a medical condition. so i cant bring any of it up at home without it turning into something. i mostly just tell my friends but i feel bad always dumping it on them.

how do you start dealing with something like this when the one parent you have left wont acknowledge half of it? has anyone been here? therapy advice, book recs, journaling, anything. im open.

i was about 12 when my mom passed. the same day she died i got told everything all at once. that she had been sa’d and drugged at 15, that she got diagnosed bipolar after, that she was on medication, had convulsions, and eventually accidentally overdosed.
thats a lot to hand a 6th grader in one afternoon.
im 18 now and it still affects me. mostly my mood and the way i think about myself. i keep wondering if bipolar is genetic, if whats happening in my head right now is grief or something more, if i should be scared of it. my dad doesnt really believe she had a real condition so theres no talking to him about any of this.
if anyone went through something similar id really like to hear how you started actually dealing with it instead of just pushing it down. ive been pushing it down for 6 years and im tired.

I’m 18F and I live with my dad and stepmom. My dad remarried a few years after my mom passed, and we’ve been living together for 6 years.

Me and my stepmom have a really inconsistent relationship. There are phases where she’s nice to me and we talk нормально and everything feels fine, but I’ve started realizing she kind of uses things I say or do against me later. Because of that I’ve been more reserved with her recently and I don’t really open up much anymore.

The main issue is that she thinks I take her stuff.

I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been perfect because there have been a few situations where I understand why it might look bad, but none of it was intentional and I feel like everything is being blown way out of proportion.

The first situation happened with this cooler bag that also looks like a purse. It was in our laundry room, so I genuinely thought it was just a shared household item. Me and my friends were going to the beach and we needed a cooler, so I grabbed it without thinking much of it.

I ended up accidentally leaving it in my friend’s car, but I got it back literally the next day. Somehow this turned into a big deal because apparently it had been a gift to her, which I didn’t know. From my perspective it was just something sitting in a common area that anyone could use.

Then the second situation was with her sunglasses. They were just on the table and I thought they would look good with my Halloween costume, so I took them. I fully intended to return them and I didn’t think it was that serious at the time.

The problem is I completely forgot they were in my car and they stayed there for like 2 weeks. Eventually they used my car and found them. My dad made me apologize, and I did. I admitted it and took responsibility, and I thought that was the end of it.

But ever since then it feels like she assumes I take her things no matter what.

Recently this whole thing blew up again over something that wasn’t even true. My grandma gave me a sparkly shirt, which is normal because she gives me clothes pretty often. I wore it to a dinner with my dad, stepmom, stepsister, and grandma.

When my stepmom saw it, she said she had worn that same shirt before at a Christmas party at our house. At first I didn’t even think anything of it because in my head it was just a shirt my grandma gave me.

At some point I left for a second, and I’m pretty sure she said something to my dad because when I came back he was convinced it was hers and started questioning me.

I was already annoyed because I thought she was just making a comment about the shirt, not accusing me of stealing it. I told him straight up that my grandma gave it to me and even took it off to show him the tag.

I thought that cleared everything up, but apparently it didn’t because she kept insisting after that.

Now the situation is worse because my dad doesn’t really trust my grandma. She has a reputation for lying or being manipulative sometimes, even though she usually defends my dad. So from his perspective it’s like my word is backed by someone he doesn’t fully believe.

There was also this small thing where I was on FaceTime with a friend and she told me to just look for the shirt again to prove it, so I checked the closet and couldn’t find anything and just left it. Later my dad came home and said the closet light was on and there was a hanger on the floor, which obviously makes me look suspicious even though it doesn’t actually prove anything.

What frustrates me the most is that my stepmom NEVER talks to me directly about any of this. She always goes through my dad. She won’t even look me in the eye and say it to my face, which just makes everything feel more serious and one-sided.

Also the double standard is insane to me. My stepsister takes my dad’s stuff without permission all the time and he literally does not care at all. But with me it turns into this whole situation every time.

Another thing is that my dad has literally told me he doesn’t even care about the actual items. He’s just tired of constantly hearing complaints from her, which somehow still turns into me being the problem.

I’m also financially dependent, I just started a job but it’s $12 an hour and I’m about to start my second year of college, so it’s not like I can just move out and remove myself from the situation.

At this point I just feel like I’ve been labeled as someone who steals and there’s nothing I can do to change that, even when I explain myself or literally show proof. She always say that we are a family, but i feel like im not part of it.

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do anymore

I’m 18F and I live with my dad and stepmom. He remarried a few years after my mom passed. Me and my stepmom have a weird relationship. Sometimes she’s nice and we talk нормально but I’ve started realizing she kind of uses things I say or do against me later so recently I’ve been more reserved with her.

The main issue is that she keeps thinking I take her stuff.

I’m not going to act like I’ve been perfect because there have been a couple situations where I understand why it might look bad, but none of it was intentional.

The first time was with this cooler bag that also looks like a purse. It was in our laundry room so I genuinely thought it was just a shared household thing. Me and my friends needed a cooler for the beach so I took it. I accidentally left it in my friend’s car and got it back the next day. Apparently it was a gift to her, which I didn’t know, and it turned into a whole thing.

Then another time I took her sunglasses for a Halloween costume because they were just on the table and I assumed she didn’t really care about them. I fully planned on returning them but I forgot them in my car for like 2 weeks. They ended up finding them there and my dad made me apologize which I did.

Ever since then it feels like she assumes I take her stuff.

Recently my grandma gave me this sparkly shirt, which is normal because she gives me clothes a lot. I wore it to dinner with my dad, stepmom, stepsister and grandma. My stepmom said she had worn that same shirt before and was acting kind of weird about it. At first I thought she was just talking but then she went to my dad and told him it was hers and that I took it.

When my dad confronted me I was already annoyed because I thought she was just complimenting it not accusing me of stealing. I told him my grandma gave it to me and even showed him the tag. I thought that cleared everything but apparently she kept insisting after that.

Now my dad is kind of in the middle. He literally told me he doesn’t care about the shirt itself, he’s just tired of hearing complaints from her. The problem is he also doesn’t trust my grandma that much because she lies sometimes for no reason, so that makes me look worse.

Also she NEVER talks to me directly about any of this. She always goes through my dad which makes everything feel more serious than it needs to be.

What also bothers me is the double standard. My stepsister takes my dad’s stuff without permission all the time and he does not care at all.

I get that I messed up before but I feel like now I’m just permanently labeled as someone who steals even when I explain myself.

I live at home and I’m financially dependent on my dad (I just started a job but it’s like $12/hr and I’m starting my second year of college) so I can’t just leave. (my stepmom and step sister are also very heavily dependent on my dad.)

How do I deal with this without making things worse with my dad?