u/Tricky-Grab-4702

I hate that she saw. I hate that I felt anger and frustration. I hate that suppressing the anger and frustration made me cry.

I work in legal admin doing a job I haven't done for 20 years. I'm 50. I've been in this job 2 months, there is a lot to learn but I'm getting there. From day one I knew she was tricky just by how I got spoken to, then she started getting at me in the 2nd week, telling me I wasn't fast enough. Then whenever I asked a question I was told "I've told you this already" or to look in the instruction book she created. Last Monday I got 7 emails all finding fault, we sit in the same office! Two weeks ago she had a go at me when I asked a question, telling me I should have known the answer. I'd been there 18 days. I spoke to my boss about the issue and was told others had complained about her before. I've kind of gleaned that most people in the firm don't like her. Yet I've made such an effort, trying to be nice I've tried ignoring the jibes and trying not to ask questions but I'm still new! Today I asked a question about a task but instead of answering me she angrily told me I should have done it by now and she was amazed that it had taken me "so long". I'd been doing it for 30 minutes. I felt it all bubble up.... How dare she speak to me like that, she is not my boss, she is my colleague. It's not for her to pass judgement on my speed. But I knew if I reacted angrily, there's no going back. That's when the tears start, then I can't stop. It's the nastiness that gets to me because I would never treat someone like that. And she's not that bloody good at her job because I've discovered loads of mistakes she's made. I love this job, everyone else is so nice and I'm worried that I will lose a job I love because I can't get on with her, maybe they'll say I'm not a good fit. Any advice is welcome.

UPDATE: Not sure if this works, but.... Thank you to everyone for your kind words and advice. I've been implementing most of it, as sadly, I've been bullied before. I spoke to my boss today who was nice and understanding. I have been assured that my work is what is important, not whether I can get on with the bully. I'm sussing out who in the company does what so I can direct certain questions to them. There's a works night out tomorrow which I'm going on (bully doesn't go to work things) so hopefully I can start making friends with more of the staff because they're all really nice. Bully will not be mentioned. Thank you all again, very much 🥰

I've struggled with debilitating migraines all my working life. Never had much support from partners, family nor my husband of 20 years. I've had a lot of shit from employers over my condition over the years too.... The worst being the NHS - GP and hospital. I've always tried to make up time or lose pay if off sick, mostly this was not appreciated.

Now I have a lovely job, I work 3 days a week, Mon Wed Fri. I've been there 2 months. Two weeks ago I had a bad weekend migraine. I messaged my boss and asked if I could come in Tues instead of Mon as I wasn't well. No problem at all. She even commended me on swapping days and not going off sick. Unfortunately the same thing happened this weekend, I sat in the sun too long. Again I asked my boss if this was ok. She was fine. I'll work tomorrow instead of today. Well you should have heard my asshole of a husband. He said you've only been in this job 5 minutes and you're already manipulating it to suit yourself! They'll get sick of you just like all the others. He was so nasty. I envy you people who have loving supportive spouses, but I'm sure there's plenty who don't. Just needed to share.