u/Tricky-Grab-4702

I was minding my own business in the Lidl car park, not the main one, the little one off to the side where I like to park. I was pleased with myself because I'd got a large pack of offcuts of ham half price. I'd bought it for my gulls. As I got to my car I noticed a tatty looking Black Backed Gull walking near my car. I opened the ham and gave some to him. Oh he was so grateful. I have him a good feed. No other gulls were around. Then I saw the Security Guard walking towards me. I got a telling off. Gulls are dangerous apparently. They attack people apparently. Am I bothered? No. I gave a sorry looking gull a good meal and that pleases me.

Firstly I apologise that I can't show a photo of the listing. I'm rubbish at screenshots. However I'm having an issue with Vinted over a fake listing. I collect Vintage Pedigree Sindy dolls from 1960's 70's and 80's. I came across this listing for a doll described as a Vintage Sindy Doll. The item clearly isn't. It's a small doll half the size of a Sindy with a face that barely resembles the real thing.

I gave the seller the benefit of the doubt (sometimes people don't realise or don't do their homework) and sent him a polite message to say the item he was selling was not as described and he should rectify it so someone doest buy it under false pretenses.... He was asking £20 for this monstrosity. He just replied "no thanks". Which tells me he is deliberately selling a fake.

So I reported the listing to Vinted. Heard nothing. Forgot about it. Happened across the listing again yesterday and couldn't believer it! So I reported it to Vinted again with a stronger worded email.

They have responded that the listing doesn't breach their rules!! I am f@@king livid!! I have seen loads of posts on here about sellers being banned for lesser things but this idiot is going to get away with knowingly selling a fake. It really boils my p! $$.

Quick background:- I've (F57) been married to M68 for 20 years. He showed his true colours after I married him. I should have left but I didn't). We lived in his ex marital home whilst I sold my flat and bought an apartment in Malta. I started an escape fund after we married and 10 years later I moved to Malta for a job. He stayed in the UK to work. We stayed married hand visited each other. After 8 years I came back. It's been hell. His untidiness that caused constant rows before I left turned into full on hoarding whilst I was away. There is not a surface or cupboard that is not full of crap anywhere. It's impossible to clean properly and after having him explode at me on several occasions, I am not allowed to move Anything or throw anything away (cardboard, plastic bottles etc). I spend alot of time in my bedroom (we sleep separately because he refused to compromise on his bedtime behaviour) because it's the only place that seems like mine. I am trying to make the best of it but living with the world's most miserable man is hard. Now onto this weekend.

The problem started when I tried to explain that him constantly talking to me like a piece of shit whenever I talk to him really wasn't very nice especially when I hadn't done anything. Turns out I had. He had grudgingly put shelves up for me when I got back and I had printed family off photos of him, me, my close family and his. I also had photos displayed on a small table when I'd been allowed to clear his crap off for the Christmas Tree such as wedding photos of us and his kids. His daughter came round and commented how nice the lounge looked (he had tidied up a bit because I finally invited friends over). She said she loved the photos. After that he started moving large old photos from a shelf and putting them in the display. Old shitty frames with long dead relatives he'd never met. There wasn't room and it looked awful. I said no. Move your crap off the large coffee table or the stuff piled up on the mantlepiece and put them there but there's no room on that small table. It's not like they weren't being displayed, I couldn't really work out what point he was making. He said oh so it's alright to have photos of your family up?? I said but the photos are also of your kids and grandkids…. Then when he realised he was talking shit he got aggressive and started chucking everything off the mantlepiece and threw my things displayed onto the floor. This included a little carriage clock which was a gift from a friend and some ornaments, two of which he broke. The clock survived. I have been thinking for a while that there is something mentally wrong with him, the hoarding, the obsession with not throwing anything away (cardboard, plastic bottles) and the aggressive outbursts.

There is a nastiness to him as well even when he talks about his children and grandchildren.

One thing that always disturbed me was what he said about his ex-wife. One day he found a message on her phone from a male friend that just said "luv u". He didn't discuss it with her. Instead he got suitcases down from the loft, chucked all her clothes and stuff in and chucked them outside which she discovered when she returned. He just threw her out there and then out of their home, in front of their children. He never gave her a chance to explain. This has always bothered me.

It's like being married to Jekyll and Hyde. On the one hand he is generous and kind and loves animals but out of nowhere the nastiness and outbursts happen.

I am exhausted by it and I know I really need to leave. At the moment I don't have much money behind me after funding my return to the UK and buying a car but I will start saving. Also the thought of starting over on my own at 57 terrifies me.

I hate my husband. Just had to say it. It's taken 20 years to get here because I always appreciated his good points. Now there are precious few. I despise the man. I'm 57 and really don't know what to do for the best. Anyone else in this situation?

More about it later as I'm leaving for a job interview... My first step towards financial independence

I hate that she saw. I hate that I felt anger and frustration. I hate that suppressing the anger and frustration made me cry.

I work in legal admin doing a job I haven't done for 20 years. I'm 50. I've been in this job 2 months, there is a lot to learn but I'm getting there. From day one I knew she was tricky just by how I got spoken to, then she started getting at me in the 2nd week, telling me I wasn't fast enough. Then whenever I asked a question I was told "I've told you this already" or to look in the instruction book she created. Last Monday I got 7 emails all finding fault, we sit in the same office! Two weeks ago she had a go at me when I asked a question, telling me I should have known the answer. I'd been there 18 days. I spoke to my boss about the issue and was told others had complained about her before. I've kind of gleaned that most people in the firm don't like her. Yet I've made such an effort, trying to be nice I've tried ignoring the jibes and trying not to ask questions but I'm still new! Today I asked a question about a task but instead of answering me she angrily told me I should have done it by now and she was amazed that it had taken me "so long". I'd been doing it for 30 minutes. I felt it all bubble up.... How dare she speak to me like that, she is not my boss, she is my colleague. It's not for her to pass judgement on my speed. But I knew if I reacted angrily, there's no going back. That's when the tears start, then I can't stop. It's the nastiness that gets to me because I would never treat someone like that. And she's not that bloody good at her job because I've discovered loads of mistakes she's made. I love this job, everyone else is so nice and I'm worried that I will lose a job I love because I can't get on with her, maybe they'll say I'm not a good fit. Any advice is welcome.

UPDATE: Not sure if this works, but.... Thank you to everyone for your kind words and advice. I've been implementing most of it, as sadly, I've been bullied before. I spoke to my boss today who was nice and understanding. I have been assured that my work is what is important, not whether I can get on with the bully. I'm sussing out who in the company does what so I can direct certain questions to them. There's a works night out tomorrow which I'm going on (bully doesn't go to work things) so hopefully I can start making friends with more of the staff because they're all really nice. Bully will not be mentioned. Thank you all again, very much 🥰

I've struggled with debilitating migraines all my working life. Never had much support from partners, family nor my husband of 20 years. I've had a lot of shit from employers over my condition over the years too.... The worst being the NHS - GP and hospital. I've always tried to make up time or lose pay if off sick, mostly this was not appreciated.

Now I have a lovely job, I work 3 days a week, Mon Wed Fri. I've been there 2 months. Two weeks ago I had a bad weekend migraine. I messaged my boss and asked if I could come in Tues instead of Mon as I wasn't well. No problem at all. She even commended me on swapping days and not going off sick. Unfortunately the same thing happened this weekend, I sat in the sun too long. Again I asked my boss if this was ok. She was fine. I'll work tomorrow instead of today. Well you should have heard my asshole of a husband. He said you've only been in this job 5 minutes and you're already manipulating it to suit yourself! They'll get sick of you just like all the others. He was so nasty. I envy you people who have loving supportive spouses, but I'm sure there's plenty who don't. Just needed to share.