u/Tricky_Advice_3606

Everytime i come across any nsfw stuff involving real people, i get this weird feeling of disgust, i feel so gross and off. But it's different when its fictional characters that are drawn or animated for some reason.

I don't get the same "off" feeling if i accidentally see nsfw of a fictional (drawn) character, but if i were to accidentally come across porn of a real person i feel shocked and grossed out.

I thought i was aegosexual at first, but that doesn't feel right, if it were possible i wouldn't mind having sex with any of the characters I'm attracted to, it's only "live-action" people I'm disgusted by.

Its the "style" that makes it different.

Sometimes I'm worried i have some sort of trauma i don't remember, because i even feel disgusted by my own body sometimes. I cannot masturbate without feeling a little gross afterwards, this feeling goes away a bit if I'm looking at fictional stuff while doing it, but it doesn't change a lot. I still feel disgusted by my genitals, it doesn't change much.

I don't really know what's wrong with me.

Everytime I go out in public I don't feel like myself at all, and it gets worse depending on how many days in a row I go out. I've tried to suck it up and deal with it anyways, because I shouldn't isolate myself and I should still do more than just sitting in the house all day and listening to music, but no matter what I do I can't get the feeling to go away.

I don’t know whats wrong with me but i also feel like a whole other person out in public than when I'm at home, and its been this way since i was a kid. my body and face feel wrong and everything feels horrible. It feels like there's nothing i can do to make myself feel better or more like myself when I'm in public, I'm convinced I'm stuck this way. I've tried figuring out what the reason might be and why I might feel that way so I could work on fixing it, but I still haven't found anything.

my counsellor and others have told me getting out more will help but I've tried, I was in school for awhile and couldn't even handle that. I doubt I'll ever be able to handle a job, and I'm starting to think I'll never survive.

I had sleep training as a toddler and there was this one specific time it absolutely terrified me because i was scared of a doll in the room and my mom was keeping the door shut and wouldn't let me out even though i was screaming. I think I have ptsd from it but sometimes I feel like I might just be dramatic.

I've tried talking to my mom about it before but last time I tried she told me it was in the past and that we've already talked about it, but then she told me I'm probably blocking something else out and that the memory could be fake to protect me, she's told me stuff like this multiple times when I've brought it up.

I swore I've remembered the memory the same way for years.

I was going through old photos today and came across a picture of my older sibling as a kid, holding a big plush doll in her arms. I didn't think much of it and just saw it as a doll but then the thought crossed my mind that "what if that's the doll from the memory" I can't find any other plush doll in any other photo and only that one.

I swore it was wearing all blue, and I remember it being a plush doll but I remember it being a baby doll, and i swore it could sing. I remember it looking so differently and I've remembered it this way even a year after it happened. but instead the doll is only wearing a blue shirt. I have a feeling that this was in fact the doll and I can faintly remember the exact features of that doll that i was scared of, and a lot of things line up, but at the same time i have a feeling I'm wrong.

I'm worried I'm making the memory up now because I had no memory of this doll in the picture at all and I didn't even recognize it at first. I can't tell if my mom is right about the memory being fake, or I'm exaggerating it and it isn't ptsd. my psychiatrist didn't seem too concerned about it and I'm really confused.

I'm not diagnosed yet but i went through this one thing that terrified me as a kid, and still randomly think about it to this day and i feel like i might have ptsd from it. and I know it's such a stupid memory, but everytime I bring it up to my mom it feels like she just doesn't care at all. and it makes me so incredibly angry, because she has trauma too, and she's talked about it before, and she knows what ptsd is and she has researched about abuse and all that stuff, so I'd think she'd understand but it feels like she doesn't.

she's told me it was in the past, and she's told me "we already went over this" she's shifted the blame to my dad, who IS abusive but had nothing to do with this one thing. she keeps acting like I'm scared of that memory because other things have happened and I blocked it out with something else.

It feels like she keeps denying it because she has something to do with it, and doesn't want to admit she's affected her children in any way.

I'm so sick of being greyromantic, what's the point in having crushes just for the feeling to fade around 5 days for absolutely no reason.

Sometimes I don't even know if I'm actually greyromantic. I normally crush on fictional characters so i assumed my feelings towards characters might feel different, but when i have a crush on a real person the feeling will still start to fade but then I have another issue, i suddenly wont be able to tell if the feelings I have are still romantic or are instead platonic, because i still feel some sort of obsession over them.

I've also seen so many people say that crushes usually don't last long, but almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of my crushes have faded within about 5 days, and I've only ever had one that lasted longer than that.

I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, maybe I think too much about the crush when it develops and my brain gets tired, but it's really sad because I really enjoy how it feels when i have a crush, it makes everything feel more brighter.

For awhile I thought I had some sort of psychosis because since I was younger I've pretended to be fictional characters, and sometimes it'll get so bad to the point I'll actually start believing I am them.

I can't really make this go away, it comes and goes, especially if I have an obsession with a fictional character I'll start to imagine myself as them. I can never be normal about a favorite character, i always have to pretend to be my favorite characters. this started when I was a toddler, but it was pretty infrequent, and when it had first started I even tried making others call me the name of the character.

My psychiatrist told me that it wasn't psychosis or schizophrenia and that it was just a coping mechanism, but idk what to do, since the belief can get pretty strong.

And although it isn't always harmful and I've had phases where I've believed i was a specific character and it turned out alright, it will always have the possibility of ending up harmful. like distress over others for thinking they're the same character, or it messing up my sense of identity so bad i have trouble choosing for myself and i only choose what i think the character would choose when it comes to certain things, although they're almost always harmless things like buying something in a color i think the character would like, if they don't already have a fav color in canon.

Sometimes i think my psychiatrist was wrong about it just being a coping mechanism because i also have pretty bad paranoia, and the beliefs can get pretty strong, but I also have anxiety so it's confusing.

I really don't know what to do, because imagining myself as something else can help boost my mood and make me feel more confident and make me more willing to do some things, so it's hard to let go or tell anybody about it because i enjoy the boost it gives me, but a lot of the time it ends up messing with my sense of identity and sometimes even gives me worse self esteem since i wanna be the character so bad, so I don't think keeping whataver this is is a very good idea.

I feel attraction, but I feel arousal completely differently than I should and because of this I'm never able to masturbate properly, I've tried and it doesn't work, but somehow it only works when it's two specific things and it upsets me. I have only ever felt attraction and arousal normally a couple of times and now that i know what that feels like I really wish i could just experience it normally.

I actually hate not knowing whats wrong with my body and not being able to find anything about it online, i search and search and search but there's nothing. I'm so tired of asking online but people tell me it's "spontaneous vs responsive desire" or that it's "arousal non concordance" or something about "mental and physical arousal" and I'm so so tired. I'd rather not speak about it sometimes because of how stressed it makes me, but I always end up trying to figure it out again. I wish I experienced sexuality normally and could feel pleasure and masturbate like everyone else, but I can't.

And there have been people who have told me I dont need to figure it out and that everyone experiences things differently, but that doesn't help at all, it makes everything more confusing.

I DON'T KNOW what's wrong with me, I can't ask a doctor because that would be such a silly question and such a minor inconvenience, but the more I ignore it I end up stressing about it even more the next time I try and figure out.

I'm genuinely convinced this is some sort of sexual dysfunction, because how can I feel attraction and arousal but the arousal is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from how arousal is supposed to feel and I can't get off, and I've felt both so I know it's not how its supposed to feel, is the other one just butterflies that I'm mistaking as arousal?

If I was attracted to somebody irl, I wouldn't even be able to do anything with them, because it wouldn't work.

I've hoped I'd end up coming across somebody talking about something similar and find out it's an actual thing that can be fixed, and hopefully I can feel it normally, or at least have an understanding, but i haven't. I wouldn't even mind if I felt both, as long as I felt it normally as well.

My mom did sleep training with me when I was around 2 and it still scares me randomly and I feel really stupid about it.

I had kept trying to open the door at the time to cover a doll that was scaring me but she kept telling me I had to rest and then she'd shut the door. It got to the point where she had to put a chair in front of the door to keep me from getting out and at that point I was screaming and crying. I tried everything like covering myself with a blanket while I was in the crib, but i still felt unsafe and I'd eventually try to escape again. this had felt like it went on for an hour.

I can't remember what happened after that or when i was picked up by her but i know i eventually did get comfort. she was holding me with the door open trying to comfort me and asking me "what's wrong?" I remember not being able to breathe because I was still crying so hard.

I remember feeling TERRIFIED. and for awhile i didn't even know it was sleep training, or that that was even a thing, and i didn't know that's what it was until i turned 18 and had started feeling scared of it again and brought up the memory to my mom. for awhile I had genuinely thought my mom just didn't want me out of bed at the time and was getting annoyed with me.

I'd go through phases where I'd feel scared of it, it was almost always at night and at one point it had gotten so bad I literally went to my mom's room at night and started crying that I was scared, despite being 18, and she got pretty upset at me and didn't seem to care much which still upsets me when I think about it. I felt pretty gross after.

It could explain my horrible fear of the dark that I still have, and why I'm still so attached to my mom, but I don't know if it was that serious. I also really don't know what to do and i feel really stupid.

And ever since I brought it up to my psychiatrist, the fear has gotten bad again. and It's making it hard to sleep currently because i feel paranoid.

It feels like both my mom and psychiatrist don't take it as seriously, and I'm worried I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm overreacting about them not taking it seriously.

I've googled if it can even cause trauma, or if anyone had a similar experience that affected them and everything is about how sleep training can't affect babies, or how it gave PARENTS trauma it's really upsetting.

I love having dreams but I tend to have dreams that have heavy emotions, specifically nightmares if I don't wear my hematite ring. but when I wear my hematite ring to bed I usually end up not remembering my dreams at all, or they're just not interesting and feel like regular daily life.

yesterday I wondered if I placed two crystals under my pillow I could change it up a bit but still not be super affected by the emotions in my dreams.

I went with rose quartz and obsidian, because I heard rose quartz is good for the heart and emotional and mental stuff, and obsidian for grounding, and I still wore my hematite ring.

I didn't think it'd do much but I ended up having a bunch of dreams in a row, about six or more, and despite some being ones that would usually upset me or scare me they didn't upset me much, and were weirdly peaceful.

a couple had to do with my mom doing things that upset me, and one was one of my siblings doing something that upset me, but I didn't feel as upset like I usually do when I have those dreams, and I had a few other random dreams.

when I woke up I felt kind of peaceful.

I had a strange nightmare a couple of days ago of sirens and giant strawberries coming down from the sky, my mother in the dream was acting like it wasn't serious, and it didn't seem serious but I had a constant feeling that it was. it was also bright out like it was day, despite it being 11pm in the dream, and my older sister brought it up.

i woke up and felt really worried and convinced that something is gonna happen to me, considering I've been having a really bad sense of impending doom the start of this month, and a few of my dreams had happened irl before that, and I'm extremely worried something might actually happen to me. i knew some things from the dream were gonna come true in whataver way and I was being proven right.

that same day at 10pm my older sister looked out the window and said "why is it still so bright out?"

now I'm worrying about the strawberry thing, i like trying to figure out what my dreams mean and my immediate first thought was that in represented a heart, and I remembered i tend to have heart problems (palpitations, chest pains) that always get brushed off as anxiety.

today I forgot about the dream and had some coffee, which i regret because it caused some problems. I felt dizzy and shaky, and I've started getting palpitations now. i remembered the dream and now I'm really worried. but at the same time nothing bad actually happened in that dream, the strawberries were gently placed into the ground and didn't cause a huge impact or anything, everyone was acting calmer than me, so I'm wondering if that means everything will be alright and I'm making it a bigger deal than it is.

the thing that made me even more scared is the "11pm" thing, my older sister told me it was bright out at 10pm, but in the dream it was 11pm, tomorrow is the 11th and I'm worried. I'm also worried that the strawberries being buried into the ground is actually a prediction of me being buried into the ground, so I'm feeling even more scared.

idk what the sense of impending doom would mean.

I'm hoping its just a delusion, and it could be considering I'm also extremely paranoid right now, or its all just anxiety.

I often wear my hematite ring to bed because i notice it helps with nightmares, but I've noticed lately that when I don't wear it or i forget to wear it i feel more aware and I often have really strange dreams, especially ones that end up happening in real life.

is there a reason for this? i know hematite is a grounding crystal, but can it affect dreams? and has it happened to anyone else?

I love tshd so much, but it feels like the recent chapters are going by a bit too fast. I'm not sure if it'll be different in manga form, maybe it's just different reading the story this way instead of waiting for a few chapters to release and the reading them all together, or waiting for the whole volume to release.

idk if it's just me, but yoshikis confession scene felt way too sudden, he got in there and suddenly confessed that he loved 'hikaru', and I love yoshikaru but it felt all too sudden. maybe I'm not seeing it right?

hopefully it's different when I read the actual manga once it comes out, maybe I'm just seeing it the wrong way.

since I was younger I've been seeing myself as fictional characters, and I know it's a normal kid thing to do, but at one point (around 5) I was convinced I was this one character and refused to listen to anybody unless they called me the name of that character, and from what I remember I truly believed I was that character.

I know that's a normal kid thing, kids play pretend and like to pretend to be things they arent, and it wasn't harmful just weird so I don't think that was a big deal, however, I've also noticed how I've been carrying this behavior into adulthood and i still do these things (mostly in my head) it got worse when I was 13 and I was completely convinced i was a character from a show I liked, I thought I got trapped in this universe and I used to be him and it was causing me distress. that phase eventually went away and i started thinking i was other characters, and the symptoms faded a bit when i was around 17 but it started getting bad again once i turned 18.

I've had ones in the past that were genuinely harmful in some way, and I don't want that to happen again.

I also started refusing to go to school when it got worse again.

I think I've gotten another delusion before where i believed there was an unknown book this show i liked was based on, and I'm extremely worried I'll end up getting even worse delusions one day that aren't just "i am this character" and I really wanna get help in case that happens but I don't have a counselors appointment for weeks, and I'm worried of the possibility of it getting worse before then. I don't know how to prevent it

I don't think I feel arousal normally, I'm pretty sure i feel two, i didn't feel "normal" arousal until my mid teens and didn't even figure out i felt two until i was 16-17 and i feel so alienated because no matter how many Google searches I make I literally cannot find a single thing explaining what is wrong with me, sometimes I'm convinced I'm crazy and maybe the weird "not normal" sensation of arousal i feel is just some butterflies, but it surely doesn't feel that way. I'm scared to bring it up to anybody irl, and sometimes it stresses me out and i want to talk to somebody about it but who would i even talk to? I don't even know how I'd bring that up to my counselor because I'd probably weird her out.

it affects my sexuality a lot and I feel like such a fucking freak, it's not normal at all. there's not really many subreddits or places to go to ask about this, I've tried in the past but I never really get an answer. I really want to know I'm not alone and I just want to figure out what's wrong with me and my body, I envy people who experience sexuality and arousal normally, being greysexual makes it worse and its hard to fit into a proper label because my sexuality feels like it's all over the place because i feel arousal In a funky way. I wish I was normal.

I hate it so much. there's something very severely wrong with me and I feel like I look crazy whenever I bring it up because It's such an odd situation. I really don't know who to go to and it's been years and I haven't figured out what's wrong with me or my body or my brain.