by “relatively minor” I mean by being slightly talkative “cringe”, whatever.
Reddit is full of insults I think. And I have a fear of people hating me, and sometimes I feel that people hate on me for really minor things. and Reddit people sometimes will be like “no you suck ass bitch” and that’ll make me think ”oh am I really a horrible individual just because I’m a little talkative?” and then I’ll post about the post and and then get more comments, some are like “you are fine“ and others are like “no that other person was right you suck“ and it goes over and over again. yeah I just gotta stop giving a shit. I’ve seen a lot worse than me and everyone has flaws.
https://www.reddit.com/r/work/comments/1u1n0nm/comment/oqra554/?context=1&screen_view_count=1
I feel like they are purposely trying to irritate me and pick a fight with me and ”prove“ that they are right because of the people I was complaining about (had a bad experience at work). idk this feels like a classical example of my issue with Reddit ”culture”. attacking OP and getting upvoted. OP defending themselves logically and getting downvoted.
I didn’t think that people would hate me so much for petty reasons, like being a little talkative and “cringe” (mind you, I even asked them if it was too much and they even said ”no”). I make it a priority to be kind. everyone makes mistakes. if I ever harmed someone, I would apologize. they are like fucking middle schoolers when it comes to bullying the “weird kid” or some shit. it was like walking on eggshells at the end. they were practically waiting for me to say something ”dumb” to make fun of it. I can’t do it anymore. my new workplace isn’t that bad thankfully. but oh god, I was not expecting this shit, especially since college was pretty good. I thought we were all adults and not this fucking judgemental. didn’t help that I was so different than the rest of the team, different personality, race and gender. it was so isolating and hell. thought I was done with it after middle school. guess not. FML.
I’m relatively new to working. work feels like middle school. I mean the level of drama. I can’t believe they actually give people are hard time on purpose when they don’t like someone jsr because they can “get away” with it because people need their job. it’s so disgusting. I guess this is another vent about the world being an unkind place. I guess that is a fact that will never change and you just gotta accept and count your blessings. we can wish it was different but at least it is not worse. getting over negative experiences is a real skill and so is not giving a crap. trying to learn it cause it makes life better.
I have this really dumb issue. for some reason, especially when I’m upset, I somehow remember every single bad experience I’ve had with others, even from back in elementary school. my brain plays these memories and says ”what so and so said was true, you suck, you don’t deserve to be here”. and these shit memories get played a lot. i try to be a good person as much as possible, but even then, sometimes personalities just don’t match out. you can’t please all. but idk, I was shocked at how mean and cliquey people could be as adults at work. I thought i was over that after middle school. how do I get over and stop feeling like I don’t belong in society or something?
I feel like I opened up way too much. I have OCD and I kept repeating the same questions over and over again. Anxiety is a bitch. at first I got support here. so I kept doing it. dopamine boost I guess? and then people got tired and I got a lot of hate. it sucks because on the outside, I’m sure everyone would hate me, think I’m a weirdo who spams, but the reality is I struggle so much with the thoughts. it’s so bad. I promise, I’m not purposely trying to be so dumb. I have a lot of self hate. I struggle with that and vent here. I got even more hate. it makes me feel like everyone who disliked me irl is correct. It makes me wish I wasn’t me. I wanted to vent about my job, they really hated me in my first group, I feel like it was because I was too different from them (only woman on the team). everytime you vent, someone always manages to figure why everything is actually your fault, you are alone in experiencing that crap, and you deserve to be treated that way. idk why I take everything to heart and feel so bad about it. Reddit has enough good people to keep posting for advice. but even bad people to still feel like crap anyway. I wish I never came here. I wish my time was before social media. I wish I was more smart when it came to posting here. I wish I my mental health was better. maybe then I wouldn’t get so much hate. It sucks to be lonely, therapy only helps so much. this was the easiest place to turn to. Better than dumping everything on someone irl and losing them. but coming here and sharing things here was a big mistake.
starting in like late middle school, college admissions, getting into “ivy leagues” was my biggest goal and seemed like the ultimate thing to do in life. I felt like shit when I only got in a state school and others went to “ivies”. I thought I was screwed and I was going to live a way worse life than those people and I thought I failed. a few years passed, I’m out of grad school and working now. I feel like I barely give a shit about the “prestigious college“ anymore. it genuinely doesn’t seem nearly as enticing as it was and I feel that other things are way more important and that barely even matters. I hope to stop caring about more things in the future. the less that bothers you, the better off you are. but the “how” is the question. idk how, it just gradually happened. what did you stop caring about? and when? and how?
yeah I learned the hard way that you need a thick skin to be a Reddit user. I’ll be real, I sometimes reveal things or open up on Reddit in a way that I wouldn’t do irl. sometimes I vent what goes on in my head, and my mental health can be a shit show sometimes. I know this sounds dumb, but I did it because I didn’t want to vent irl and for people to hate me for being negative, and I’m tired of paying for and seeing a therapist, it wasn’t helping much anyway. I thought there were no real consequences here anyway, but of course that goes both ways. I guess I wasn’t as good as handling the negative comments as i thought I was, sometimes I replay them and doubt my own worth. though I do really feel that people here are super mean, judgemental, unforgiving, and always assume the worst. It’s def not a place for struggling people. how do yall deal with this shit? I want to stop using Reddit so much, but I think growing a thick skin and not letting things bother you is also a very useful skill. I kinda regret my posts sometimes, thinking back I’m like “oh that was so stupid, of course I got dogpiled”, but yeah, everyone makes mistakes I guess. Sometimes it’s hard to guess what gets support and what gets hated though. But idk if it was really that bad, like it’s not like I actively harmed someone, so all this shit doesnt really matter, right?
I think DC probably has the most. but are there decent options in NY as well?
I know the advice “see a therapist”. it costs money, a lot of therapists aren't helpful, and I’ve been to 2 already, one was ok but I don’t think she has much advice left to give me. I’m an extroverted person, who is unfortunately lonely. sometimes, when I got upset or need advice, I would turn to Reddit because I didn’t really have much else. I don’t know why I did it. It kinda made me feel worse. people are so mean on the “advice“ subs sometimes. and they gaslight you by saying their straight up insults are the truth. and with venting you have to be really careful. people love to walk all over those who are already down it seems. a lot of times, people are just looking for ways to blame and shit on OP, even making assumptions (the worst ones). I wish all this crap didn’t stress me out so much. people really lack empathy and compassion here. They are just an angry miserable mob sometimes, with no forgiveness or mercy whatsoever. And they take everything in the worst way they possibly can. they purposely “misunderstand“ just to hurt you and it sucks because sometimes these shitty comments even get upvoted. it seems that people enjoy OP getting hate sometimes.
don’t fall for it
I was in this situation before. I wonder how it would have been if I had quit. I have a little bit of savings and parents but the parents may have been upset (my dad is a huge stickler about jobs). but I was truly miserable in that job and was dreading it every day.
So basically I’ve been at my job (my first one ever) for a little over a year now. I know my performance could definitely improve, but I always thought I did at least did a decent amount of work especially given my level. However, my performance review said otherwise. it was the lowest of all of the ratings and said I wasn’t performing well and didn’t deserve a raise. I think I was also the only one on my team to receive such a poor review because I overheard my other coworkers saying they got good reviews and asking about when they will get a raise. fast forward, now I’m on a different team. I have this coworker who comes in later than me yet leaves earlier and almost every time I walk by his desk he is either playing games or talking to someone else. there is no way he did more work than I did on the other team. and he was complaining that his raise “wasn’t high enough” implying he at least got something. I can’t help but feel kinda hurt. also, people tell me that it’s incredibly rare to get a bad performance review like that. idk what to think. I mean I’m glad I didn’t lose my job or anything but at the same time I’m not that happy here (for other reasons as well)
I know not everyone is like this but I feel like I’ve just encountered some people who have bullied me or bothered me and somehow try to pin the blame on me. I feel like I’m caught between the ugliness and beauty of the world. I know that sounds very philosophical. but on one hand, I see the bad people of this world and their atrocities, and I feel like (to various levels of course) there are a lot of not-so-great people in the world. but there are also a lot of things and people I like in the world. but like many, I’m scared to die. I don’t want to live forever of course, but I’m scared to know what’s going to happen next. what if it’s bad? honestly I feel like Reddit has also exposed me to the bad corners of people. for any opportunity they get, any mildly vague post, I will get hate comments calling me a shitty person, entitled, etc. I wouldn’t even be surprised if I got it on this very post. on one hand, it hurt me, but I guess it did give me more “exposure”. Im honestly tempted to quit all the time. it’s hard to overcome societal rejection. idk what this was, just a mental dump I guess.
has anyone else else experienced this? I had some coworkers who were literally like middle schoolers in some ways. They would giggle with each other at some things I said and would always make it sound like”weird”, like they would make words like “thing” and “squirt“ always in the sexual sense and it was worse because I was the only woman there. It was awful and I hadn’t felt this miserable and isolated since middle school. luckily I’m out of there but sometimes I still remember it and I’m like, “I thought I was always friendly, what on earth did i do to be seen and treated like that?”. I can’t help but think that I am just terrible and life and no one would want to be around me.
I feel like sometimes I get so much anger and hate even over relatively minor things that are not even controversial or offensive. It’s really made me feel upset and like I’m back in middle school again. I want to stop Reddit and honestly wish I never started in the first place. I can’t help but wonder if it’s just me and for some reason, despite always trying to be a decent person, I just don’t belong in this society.