I recently saw a post that said 'People aren't dating anymore because women want men who don't exist yet. And men want women who don't exist anymore.'

Truly resonated as I think we are all looking for a unicorn, we are all looking for utopia. And it is just leaving us disappointed because humans are flawed, but we somehow expect better from everyone else.

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A 'NOT ALL MEN' LOBBY POST.

Recently I came across a video (added in comments) of a mother talking about how her son no longer wants to marry and asking Richa Chadha to make movies on 'Mard Ka Dard', which made me feel like people make the most bizarre connections.

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We have a lot to say about the other gender (women and men), but we somehow fail to dig deep. Leaving some statistics and thoughts for you to decide if this is the truth, or are we once again just playing puppets and not focusing on the real issue and root cause. And to really focus on whether we are turning systemic failures into gender wars?

Indian Suicides vs. Crimes Against Women

The Gender Gap: India records over 170,000 suicides annually; men account for 73.5% (approx. 125,400) while women account for 26.5% (approx. 45,200).

The Suicide Rates: The population-adjusted suicide rate stands at 34.6 per lakh for men compared to 13.1 per lakh for women.

Age Vulnerability: Men are highly vulnerable across a broad career range (18–59 years), whereas female suicides strictly peak among young adults (18–29 years).

Crimes Against Women: India records nearly 4.5 lakh registered cases of crimes against women annually, averaging 51 cases filed every hour.

Crime Intensity: The rate of crimes against women stands high at 66.2 per lakh female population.

The Critical Connection

Domestic Link: Cruelty by a husband or his relatives makes up 31.4% of all registered crimes against women, directly feeding into "family problems," which trigger over 33% of all female suicides.

The Dowry Toll: While men die by suicide more frequently overall, women are 6 to 13 times more likely than men to die by suicide when the trigger involves dowry and marriage-related disputes.

Housewife & Youth Stress: Housewives make up a massive 14.5% of all suicide victims nationally, while the gender gap almost entirely vanishes among student suicides (53% male vs. 47% female).

Systemic Reality: Moving Past the Gender War

Economic Desperation: The largest suicide demographic in India consists of daily wage earners (over 26%), proving that economic survival and poverty crush humans regardless of gender.

Rigid Social Hierarchies: Outdated caste systems and social barriers choke upward mobility, creating hyper-competitive pressures that fuel the rising suicide rates among youth and students of all backgrounds.

Institutional Failures: Underfunded mental healthcare and a heavily backlogged legal system leave citizens stranded without a safety net when facing extreme financial or domestic distress.

The Polarization Trap: Turning systemic human suffering into internet culture wars ("manosphere vs. feminazi") masks the root institutional issues, blocking the unified effort needed to demand better governance.

Moral: it's not a gender war, both genders are equally screwed because criminals know no gender, race, religion, but we rather point fingers and hate each other than actually figure out that it's the government screwing over people, useless caste systems preventing growth, gender bias turning equality/feminism into feminazi vs manosphere wars. When you zoom out, the data shows that systemic failures, economic pressures, and rigid social structures crush people regardless of gender, even if it manifests in different ways.

Open to a hearty discourse with no slander.

Are we turning systemic failures into gender wars?

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A 'NOT ALL MEN' LOBBY POST.

Recently I came across a video (added in comments) of a mother talking about how her son no longer wants to marry and asking Richa Chadha to make movies on 'Mard Ka Dard', which made me feel like people make the most bizarre connections.

---

We have a lot to say about the other gender (both men and women) but we somehow fail to dig deep. Leaving some statistics and thoughts for you to decide if this is the truth, or are we once again just playing puppets and not focusing on the real issue and root cause.

Indian Suicides vs. Crimes Against Women

The Gender Gap: India records over 170,000 suicides annually; men account for 73.5% (approx. 125,400) while women account for 26.5% (approx. 45,200).

The Suicide Rates: The population-adjusted suicide rate stands at 34.6 per lakh for men compared to 13.1 per lakh for women.

Age Vulnerability: Men are highly vulnerable across a broad career range (18–59 years), whereas female suicides strictly peak among young adults (18–29 years).

Crimes Against Women: India records nearly 4.5 lakh registered cases of crimes against women annually, averaging 51 cases filed every hour.

Crime Intensity: The rate of crimes against women stands high at 66.2 per lakh female population.

The Critical Connection

Domestic Link: Cruelty by a husband or his relatives makes up 31.4% of all registered crimes against women, directly feeding into "family problems," which trigger over 33% of all female suicides.

The Dowry Toll: While men die by suicide more frequently overall, women are 6 to 13 times more likely than men to die by suicide when the trigger involves dowry and marriage-related disputes.

Housewife & Youth Stress: Housewives make up a massive 14.5% of all suicide victims nationally, while the gender gap almost entirely vanishes among student suicides (53% male vs. 47% female).

Systemic Reality: Moving Past the Gender War

* Economic Desperation: The largest suicide demographic in India consists of daily wage earners (over 26%), proving that economic survival and poverty crush humans regardless of gender.

* Rigid Social Hierarchies: Outdated caste systems and social barriers choke upward mobility, creating hyper-competitive pressures that fuel the rising suicide rates among youth and students of all backgrounds.

* Institutional Failures: Underfunded mental healthcare and a heavily backlogged legal system leave citizens stranded without a safety net when facing extreme financial or domestic distress.

* The Polarization Trap: Turning systemic human suffering into internet culture wars ("manosphere vs. feminazi") masks the root institutional issues, blocking the unified effort needed to demand better governance.

Moral: it's not a gender war, both genders are equally screwed because criminals know no gender, race, religion, but we rather point fingers and hate each other than actually figure out that it's the government screwing over people, useless caste systems preventing growth, gender bias turning equality/feminism into feminazi vs manosphere wars. When you zoom out, the data shows that systemic failures, economic pressures, and rigid social structures crush people regardless of gender, even if it manifests in different ways.

We have a lot to say about the other gender, but we somehow fail to dig deep. Leaving some statistics and thoughts for you to decide if this is the truth, or are we once again just playing puppets and not focusing on the real issue and root cause.

Indian Suicides vs. Crimes Against Women

The Gender Gap: India records over 170,000 suicides annually; men account for 73.5% (approx. 125,400) while women account for 26.5% (approx. 45,200).

The Suicide Rates: The population-adjusted suicide rate stands at 34.6 per lakh for men compared to 13.1 per lakh for women.

Age Vulnerability: Men are highly vulnerable across a broad career range (18–59 years), whereas female suicides strictly peak among young adults (18–29 years).

Crimes Against Women: India records nearly 4.5 lakh registered cases of crimes against women annually, averaging 51 cases filed every hour.

Crime Intensity: The rate of crimes against women stands high at 66.2 per lakh female population.

The Critical Connection

Domestic Link: Cruelty by a husband or his relatives makes up 31.4% of all registered crimes against women, directly feeding into "family problems," which trigger over 33% of all female suicides.

The Dowry Toll: While men die by suicide more frequently overall, women are 6 to 13 times more likely than men to die by suicide when the trigger involves dowry and marriage-related disputes.

Housewife & Youth Stress: Housewives make up a massive 14.5% of all suicide victims nationally, while the gender gap almost entirely vanishes among student suicides (53% male vs. 47% female).

Systemic Reality: Moving Past the Gender War

* Economic Desperation: The largest suicide demographic in India consists of daily wage earners (over 26%), proving that economic survival and poverty crush humans regardless of gender.

* Rigid Social Hierarchies: Outdated caste systems and social barriers choke upward mobility, creating hyper-competitive pressures that fuel the rising suicide rates among youth and students of all backgrounds.

* Institutional Failures: Underfunded mental healthcare and a heavily backlogged legal system leave citizens stranded without a safety net when facing extreme financial or domestic distress.

* The Polarization Trap: Turning systemic human suffering into internet culture wars ("manosphere vs. feminazi") masks the root institutional issues, blocking the unified effort needed to demand better governance.

Moral: it's not a gender war, both genders are equally screwed because criminals know no gender, race, religion, but we rather point fingers and hate each other than actually figure out that it's the government screwing over people, useless caste systems preventing growth, gender bias turning equality/feminism into feminazi vs manosphere wars. When you zoom out, the data shows that systemic failures, economic pressures, and rigid social structures crush people regardless of gender, even if it manifests in different ways.

Open to a hearty discourse with no slander. Share your two cents?

I have to say this subreddit is filled with people saying the most toxic and vile things, hitting below the belt, it's genuinely sad. And what makes it worse is that most women have misogynistic views which encourages the men with similar ideas to be bolder and say even worse crap.

Queries are shut down, character judgements are passed, feelings are dismissed. Honestly, those who don't understand must feel, and life has a funny way of putting you in those places where you once judged someone else to be.

So be careful with your words and high handedness people, in jest it's different, but this should be a supportive community not whatever toxic ball of hatred it currently feels like.

You can come after me in the comments and prove me right, but given this is my first actual month on here, this has been disappointing, the women (and men) in my real life are wonderful, and back in the day when I used to be online more, strangers were kinder than people I knew in person.

It's just sad, we have become close minded and hateful as a people. Hope everyone finds their peace.

Is it just in town or is everyone facing power cuts this monsoon? This was never the case in the past but this year there's been so many power cuts, even before the monsoon, and I don't buy this the power grid can't handle it, everything has gone to shit since Adani took over. And then the power is out for 5-6 hours. The electricity bill is so high, the roads are all dug up, there is unnecessary construction everywhere causing more disruptions and traffic for everyday living, making it impossible to want to step out, and people are killing each other in full public view. What has happened to our city?

Are they lowkey psychologically preparing us for war or testing out disruptive infrastructure?

Update: THE POWER WENT AGAIN!

It's pretty self explanatory I guess. I knew him years ago, I was his crush for a while like two years (he says, I call bullshit), he mustered up the guts to finally ask me out, I didn't say yes but we went for a couple of dinners and became friends. As something more could blossom, he had some major family problems and had to move back to take care of his family. We disappeared from each other's worlds. I would try to speak with him but he seemed very stressed so I let him be.

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Eight months later he found someone and after a year long engagement he married her. This was in 2021.

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He has since always kept in touch with me, generally reminiscing about how special that time felt and while I didn't care much initially. His wife is now pregnant and this freak is still talking to me. I soooo want to out him, but I just don't want to put his poor wife through any stress or misery. She seems so blissfully unaware.

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What to do?

I work in Mumbai and we were acquired some months ago, the team that I worked with was mostly laid off and the title I work for has been reduced to a three person team. Clearly this is not where I wanted to be, but now because everyone is desperate to appear useful to the new boss and management and are throwing each other under the bus even the good people have become spineless sheep. I always steered clear from office politics and conversation in general.

However, The other day in the office everyone was talking shit about the new management. I gave my two cents saying it seems the contract is up too, so maybe we won't have to worry as there won't be anyplace to work for.

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This guy is notorious for working with AI and lean teams, he gives a day's notice and fires people. Of course the idiots all freaked out because they didn't know this and they called him, he in turn called me to reprimand and basically threatened me. Saying that no such thing was happening. He's lying. I know the contract ends soon and there's little scope of renewal given the trash direction the company is going in.

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Now, the same women who spoke shit about me ended up posting on a group joking about 'if the contract renews', I am on my notice anyway so don't care but for the first time in a long time I want to get back, it's a villain arc for me but I think I should do this.

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Tldr: colleagues spoke shit about me to a boss for saying something that I now have proof of them having said and in writing too, should I get back at them even though I'm on notice period and it's really not like me to care so much about colleagues' behaviours.

Everyone wants an accomplished and intelligent woman, but can't afford to maintain them emotionally, financially or intellectually.

Modern matrimonial profiles demand highly educated, high-earning women, yet expect traditional, regressive domestic compliance post-marriage.